A while back Dori shared her testimony about our Read with Me Challenge. One thing that resonated with me, and I know some of you, was her desire for consistency. She didn’t want to just get the job done, but to maintain an even, faithful pace.
Such is the prayer of my life.
Somehow in my rebellion against routine, I’ve acquired an absence of consistency. One day I’m passionate about something and the next week I’m bored with the pursuit. One moment I can get enough and the next I can’t get far enough away.
Perhaps I’m exaggerating. I hope I am. I’d like to believe I’m slightly less eratic, emotional, unstable and a little more … well, the opposite of all those things.
I have lofty plans, but struggle to follow through. I desire to be more studious, more aware, more compassionate, more active. But then I spend another evening pouring over cookbooks, making grocery lists and listening for the delightful tune of a laundry load finished. The necessities of life swallow my ambitions. Or perhaps fear encourages me to hide in the mundane details, convincing me it’s safer there, that I belong there.
The only consistent part of my life is that it’s always the same.
That sounds entirely like a quote from Yogi Berra. Keep watch: it may end up on a Geiko commercial before you know it.
My point is that changes come slowly and in the meantime inconsistency reigns. If I’m growing, I can’t see it. I feel like stretching, but fear the risk. Or what others might say. And what will I do then?
Lord God, help me to look to you and you alone. Help me to remember that your love and redemption of me are independent of my actions. I am not in danger of losing either, no matter what I do, because you have sealed me in your Book of Life. Your grace is greater than all my inconsistent strivings and all my consistent failures. I love you and long to love you more. Help me to yield entirely to the will you have for me. Help me to trust in your strength and power to make me who you want me to be in your perfect timing. Amen and amen.