I’m not getting off the train. Really.

Every year I attempt to re-focus my life. I pray, I read, I evaluate and I seek to know what is it that I’m really supposed to be doing with my life.

Let me stop right there. I am very, very happy with my life! This perpetual practice doesn’t flow from a lack contentment, but rather because I abhor complacency.

Small, seemingly inconsequential choices often pave the road for habits. Habits define character, and character builds purpose. I like purpose. I like being intentional. I want to know that my habits and daily choices foster the life I truly want to live and not just a web of comfortable routines.

So this is my annual traditional. And every year when I do this, I get all gung-ho, ready to tackle the world with my crisply defined mission (usually accompanied by spreadsheets and color-coded calendars). My enthusiasm runs undeterred and swiftly smashes my nose against the concrete wall of real life.

Kids. Parental responsibilities. Community responsibilities. Familial obligations. Financial pressures.

I want to call them “interruptions,” but we’ve talked about that before. Sometimes these things that derail my train of purpose are actually divine opportunities. They are my purpose. I don’t want to miss those, and so, usually, I stop the train and get off. I stow my luggage in the back of my closet for another year, just waiting for the perfect time.

What if that perfect time never comes?

A few weeks ago I posted about How to Find Time for Everything. I’ve been practicing this in diligence. Still — as the summer begins (only two more days of school!) and my schedule gets scrambled, the temptation to quit rises its gnarled head.

What if the window of opportunity passes and I miss it? What if I’m hiding behind “interruptions” for fear of what might happen if I really gave my all?

iisdi6lizem-matthew-henryI’m not getting off this time. I may need to take the local here and there, but I’m staying on the train.

Someone should probably watch the windows, though. Just in case I try to escape.

Talk to me!

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