Ellie: “Can you guys keep it down? I’m trying to rhyme over here.”
Me, to Zach who was sitting on the toilet: “Did you go?”
Me: “Just a toot?”
Zach: “No. I wanted it to be real poopy, but it was just pretend.”
Ellie: “I think we should go to a restaurant for lunch today.”
Me: “What restaurant do you want to go to?”
Ellie: “The restaurant by the ballet studio.”
Me: “Okay. Which one?”
Ellie: “THE ONE BY THE BALLET STUDIO! Are you deaf, Mom? Can you not hear me?”
Zach: “Mom! Mom! You gotta SEE this!! The couch is all fluffy and when I fluff it, it looks fluffy!!”
Ellie: “Mom! Mom! The man on the radio said there was a mix-up of snow and rain in New Jersey!! We’re going to get snow!!!”
Me: “Well, it’s only thirty-seven degrees here — “
Zach: “I know what ‘degrees’ means. It means there’s a mix-up with winter and we need to stir it with spoon.”
Oh, if only her “listening” actually meant “obeying” rather than “eavesdropping with the intent of sharing all that she hears.”
Me: “Zach, do you need to go potty?”
Zach: (grunt.) “No.”
Me: “You look like you need to go potty.”
Zach: “But I just love it, Mommy! I love going poopy in my pants!!”
Me: “Honey, you’re being very bossy today.”
Ellie: “Yeah. It’s ’cause I know everything.”
Ellie: “Bears have hairy faces, but we don’t. We have skinny faces.”
Me: “That’s right. Our faces are made of skin. What about bears’ bellies? Who has a hairy belly?”
Ellie: “Mommy, you look so pretty. Just like a horse.”
Now, these last two are frequently repeated. In fact, Ellie sings her song every morning on the way to school and most Sundays while driving to church.
Ellie’s song, sung mostly to the tune of “Jingle Bells”:
“Tinkerbell! Tinkerbell! Tinker all the way! Oh, what fun it is to ride in a Tinker-horsey sleigh. Hey! I love you (Here is where the tune goes astray.) always and forever because Tinkerbell I love you-hoo!!”
Zach, spoken at nearly every lull in any conversation: “And a DOO-DAH!!”
To this Ellie consistently replies: “What’s a doo-dah? I have no idea what a doo-dah is!“
Zach then starts laughing hysterically and sings a song about silly doo-dahs.
And there you have it, folks. Your monthly glimpse into the soundtrack of my life. Isn’t it beautiful?
PS: Happy birthday to Karen today!!