Category Archives: work
Little rocks can make a big difference.
There is a story of a college professor, an empty jar and a lot of rocks. After placing an empty jar in full view of his class, he began to add large rocks, one by one. When his collection reached the top, he asked the class if the jar was full. They affirmed that it was.
He then supplied a bunch of little rocks and began adding them to the “full” jar. Again he asked “Is the jar full now?” Yes, of course it was.
Then he presented a bag of sand and water and proceeded to fill the “full” jar even more.
If he had put the sand in first, neither the little rocks nor the big rocks would have fit. If he had filled the jar with water first, he would have created a mess by trying to add anything else. The point being that you need to start with the big rocks first. Focus on what is most important before filling your life with little rocks or sand.
This is a good illustration when deciding where focus should be, but sometimes the little rocks can make a big difference, too. Think of a pebble in your shoe. It’s hard to ignore. Sometimes taking care of those little things first can make it easier to wrap your head — and your energies — around those bigger rocks.
My winter coat has been missing a middle button for months. I know where the button is and it will likely take less than two minutes to sew it back on, but it seems like such a little thing, I don’t bother. But I must say it bothers me every time I wear that coat. I carefully position my scarf so that no one will notice the missing button. I mean, if I can’t even fix a button then how can anyone expect me to properly care for my family? Or my clients? Or … I mentally bludgeon myself over that still-waiting-to-be-done item on my list. It reminds me of my failures, of all the things yet to be done. Of all the ways in which I am not living up to expectations, be they mine or others’.
What would happen if I just crossed that item off my list?
Yes, “big rocks” should be prioritized highly, but sometimes we can get so overwhelmed by the big rocks on our to-do lists that we rarely make progress. I don’t want to be the third servant.
In Matthew 25 the Bible recounts some parables of Jesus. One of them is about a master who goes away on a journey, entrusting his wealth to three servants. The first two invest their talents thereby increasing their master’s worth. The third is fearful, lazy, reluctant. Instead of risking the loss of his master’s coin, he buries the money and clings to safety.
When the master returns, he punishes the third. The first two, however, are commended. “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!” (v. 21, 23, NLT)
Yes, I want to focus on the important tasks, the things I prioritize as greatest, but I don’t want to be paralyzed by the size of those tasks. I want to be faithful in whatever tasks I’ve been given, be they small or large rocks. And I know that the more faithful I am with the little things, the more prepared I will be to receive great things.
Read with Me: Sometimes it feels like our Bible reading is a mere matter of checking off boxes. How can these “little rocks” prepare us for bigger ones? On the flipside, how does prioritizing time with God as a “big rock” impact your life? What little rocks may prevent you from spending more time with God?
The Life Ready Woman: Thriving in a Do-It-All World
When asked what was God’s purpose for your life and how you were pursuing it, many of you responded with roles of wife and mother, but just as many of you expressed frustration at having to or wanting to work and not knowing how to balance it all. The book I introduced earlier this week inspires women to identify their God-given dreams and take active steps toward pursuing those dreams. The book I introduce today is more about balancing those dreams.
Before I give you my thoughts, let me introduce the book with words straight from the publisher.
Are you a ‘Doing it all’ or ‘Do what matters’ woman?
Whether a stay at home; or working mom, an airplane-hopping executive, an empty-nester caring for multiple generations or a single juggling high demands of career and personal life, today’s fast-paced modern world leaves women gasping for balance. We as modern Christian women want to look to the Bible for guidance on how to manage our lives — but because the world of women looks so different today than it did when the Bible was written, it is hard to find chapter and verse that seems to apply to our situation today.
Thankfully, God has given us exactly that timeless, unchanging guidance for how to find peace, clarity, and God’s best for our lives once we know where to look! The Life Ready Woman: Thriving in a Do-It-All World, reveals a profound biblical roadmap for how each of us can find the abundant life we are longing for, rather than the stressful, torn, how-do-I-balance-it-all life we often feel like we are trying to keep up with today. Actually being a LifeReady Woman means that you are clear about your life, bold in your faith, and able to find God’s best for you, and the end result will be that you not only survive but thrive in our do-it-all world.
God has given every wonderfully unique woman different skills and abilities, different desires, and different temperaments — and every woman around the planet and through the ages is certainly living in different circumstances. But no matter what a woman’s life looks like, the Bible says that God has an individual mission and plan that He’s carefully designed for each of us. And He wants us to find it. Starting January 2011, The Life Ready Woman and the Life Ready Woman Video Series will help every wonderfully unique woman to thrive as she identifies and courageously pursues God’s unique design and callings for her.
There is the book (which I have — and which I am giving away one copy to one of you!), but there is also the video series with accompanying workbooks that could be used by community groups or churches. This is all being distributed by FamilyLife, a wonderful ministry that promotes families first. They have some of the best Christian marriage conferences in the nation. (Oh, and that’s part of the giveaway too! Details below.)
B&H Books
ISBN-10: 1433671123
Release Date: January 1, 2011
Paperback: 272 pages, Retail: $14.99
Buy it now at Christianbook.com for $11.99!
About the Author: Shaunti Feldhahn is a former Wall Street analyst, best-selling author of the book For Women Only, national speaker, and regular commentator in the media. She has been featured on The Today Show, PBS, TNT and Fox News- to name a few. You can learn more about her many activities by visiting her website Shaunti.com or get some great mom advice from her at MomLifeToday.com.
About MomLife Today: At MomLife Today you will enjoy community with real moms experiencing every age and every stage of MomLife—right alongside you.
Moms need friends we can walk through life with, but more importantly we need friends who will encourage us and equip us in our role as moms in an honest and transparent way … and that’s just what you’ll find by becoming part of our MomLife Today community! We believe that every MOMent counts! We admit it, being a mom 24/7 is not easy. Rather than lament the role of motherhood, however, we choose to embrace that role and learn from each other how to make it through each day with the right attitude. Come share the joys, sorrows, insanity, and special moments of motherhood with us as we live it and candidly write about it…we’ll have lots of fun along the way!
My Thoughts: I have to admit: when I started this book, I didn’t like it. The first few pages smelled of feminine empowerment and sexual superiority. While I believe in sexual equality, I do not believe in sexual sameness. Men and women were created differently on purpose and it is to our greatest advantage to invest and rejoice in those differing strengths. So, I was nervous. “Here comes another feminist who wants me to roar and run over my man.” But I am familiar with FamilyLife and I knew they were promoting this book, so I kept reading. As I got past the first few pages, I was delighted to discover this author seeks to uphold God’s truths while affirming the wonderful position women have in our culture and time in history. Even better: She seeks to view our position in this post-modern world through the lens of God’s unchanging Word. We have unrecognizable freedom when compared with our foremothers and oppressed sisters in other countries. It is our priviledge to seize that freedom and use it for God’s glory.
But how do we balance that freedom with the call to be wives, mothers, and more? How do we juggle housekeeping with jobs and soccer schedules and piano lessons and personal ambitions? Not to mention marriages and in-laws and neighbors and ministry and a healthy, growing relationship with God? That’s what this book is about.
Sure, we can do it all, but will we do it all well? What sacrifices are made when we spread ourselves so thin? And are those sacrifices worth it? The Life Ready Woman equips readers to be deliberate with our choices so that we can live the fulfilling lives God intended for us without guilt or regret. The further I got into this book, the more valuable I found it. In fact I plan to enthusiastically recommend it and the accompanying video series for an upcoming study through our church.
GIVEAWAY #1 (through me): A copy of this book! Leave a comment on this post and you’ll be entered in the drawing. A name will be selected randomly and announced on Monday.
GIVEAWAY #2 (through MomLife): In celebration of Shaunti Feldhahn’s Life Ready Woman
Not only, is MomLife Today helping promote Life Ready Woman, but they are thrilled to announce that Shaunti will be joining MomLife Today as a regular contributor!
Weekend To Remember Get-Aways offer marriage-changing principles that you can take home and apply to your daily lives to strengthen your marriage. Whether you are newly engaged or have been married for 50 years, you will find value in the tools provided at the getaway.
Don’t miss this opportunity to receive a conference registration for you and your spouse … and more! MomLife Today will be randomly selecting NINE lucky recipients to receive one of these great gifts:
- 2 Weekend To Remember Get Away conference registrations for two. $259 value each pair (Two couples will receive this.)
- 2 Life Ready Woman DVD packs. $149 value each (Two different people will receive this gift.)
- 5 The Life Ready Woman books. (Book will go to 5 people.)
To enter click one of the icons below then tell your friends. Winner will be announced on March 2nd on the MomLife Today website.
My disclosure in the right sidebar explains that I often receive free books for review. This is one of them. Please note that I am under no obligation to write a positive review and I receive no compensation from the author or publisher for my participation in this blog tour.
Status Update
I feel like I haven’t blogged in a while. I’ve been here and there, but feel my heart hasn’t been shared. There are many reasons for that. Maybe I should make a list. (Or maybe I should just ramble since that comes most naturally.)
We are entering Week 3 of the kids’ being sick. Z-dog (Yes, I’m calling him that again. He barks at me all the time, but his preferred name of “Snowball” feels weird since that’s my brother’s dog’s name, and I digress.) withstood bacon’s revenge quite well, but then The Girl got it. We thought she was all better, sent her back to school even. Then yesterday she came down with another fever. She can currently be found snoozing on the couch with a 101.5 temperature. Meanwhile, Z-dog is at school and the principle is probably looking for my replacement as Recess Mom. You know, there is a reason I choose to work from home and this is it!
I started a new blog last month. Technically, I started it two years ago, but didn’t have a set schedule for it until last month. I’ve been posting over there regularly. If you want to check it out, click HERE.
You see, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about blogging and purpose and passion. I’m sure there are posts to be written there, but the thoughts have not yet settled. Once I reach stable ground with those lines of thinking, I’ll let you know where I land.
I know not all of you are writers. In fact, I don’t know that any of you are! And I suspect few of you really care about passive versus active voice or which book offers the best advice for writing query letters. I doubt you find my grammatical humor funny and, aside from the “His love endures forever!” panties, none of you care about marketing. So, I’m trying to divide my interests a bit. Instead of tracking all my various endeavors here, I plan to keep my professional writing life there.
You all get to keep my random mom-wife-spiritual life here. Aren’t you happy?
Eventually I’ll get back to my Bookshelf, which I hate to admit has been neglected for months, but … well, one thing at a time.
In other news, I’m shaving again. Since the shower incident a few weeks ago, I’ve been a bit squeamish. Thanks to predominantly hairless genes (don’t hate me!) and blonde hair, no one — not even my husband — noticed the lack of blade use.
My granny never shaved. She didn’t have to! The only stray hair she grew (and I mean singular — ONE hair) was from her chin. She never had hair on her legs or arms. I’m told her hair was white even as a child. She was so funny. Oh, I miss that woman.
Oh, and I should fill you in on my etsy embarkation! It’s going well. 
Today marks two weeks that I’ve been “in business.” In that time I’ve sold five purses and taken two special orders. I’m struggling to keep my shop filled! I’ve also made two purses that I don’t plan to sell. They’re just too cute to give away. I’ll post pictures later this week. If you want to see what’s currently available, check out my shop: www.zaties.etsy.com.
Several people have asked about the name. All the names I really wanted for my shop were already taken, so I played around with my kids names. Obviously the Z comes from our Z-dog. The -atie comes from our Ellie. She has several nicknames and Kate is one of them. Thus, Zatie’s was born. It sounds better than ZellieLake or LisaBuke, which are other random name scrambles I could have used.
If you missed yesterday’s post, or if you’re a mayo-hater and chose not to read it, you’ll be excited to learn that I’m going “home” this weekend! I’m so excited. I haven’t been “home” to Indiana in over three years. That sounds terrible. I have visited my mama in Kentucky and flown her out here, but I haven’t had a good excuse to return to my roots, the little mapdot where I was raised, in a very long time. I’m thrilled! My mom moved back there the beginning of summer and this is my first chance to see her new digs and my old stomping grounds. I wish I could take the kids, too, but it will be so nice to have this one-on-one time with Mama. We haven’t had that in a long time.
I think this is enough rambling for one morning. This house screams for my attention. Happy Monday, y’all!
I didn’t go British.
Earlier this month I participated in an interview with TransWorld Radio UK for a piece on Christian children’s publishing. Kristina, my friend and managing editor at CCBR, kinda nudged me into it. I was reluctant. But I did it and, more importantly, I survived.
I’d never done a radio interview before and, quite honestly, still don’t feel qualified for such an opportunity. My biggest prayer was that I wouldn’t absorb an accent. It sounds silly, but I knew the reporter would be British, and I know how easily and unconsciously I slip into accents. (I really annoyed Rick while we were in London last month.) I desperately wanted to avoid offending anyone on my first outing as an “expert.”
I am happy to say God answered my prayer. I didn’t go British.
If you’d like to listen to the piece, you can by going HERE. Scroll down to the segment entitled “What Will Our Children Read?” It originally aired on September 24th. You can either listen right there or download it as an MP3. You know, if my voice soothes you, and you simply can’t live without listening to me nightly on your iPod. Then hop on over to CCBR to see what new reviews we’ve posted for you.
Working at Home: Paperwork Tips
You may remember I recently partnered up with Making Work at Home Work as a blogger. Here’s a great new article on keeping all that home and work paperwork straight. Remember: working at home may include a little side job or a full-blown business. You may do Stampin’ Up!, Creative Memories, Tupperware or Pampered Chef OR you could be a freelance writer, an Etsy crafter or a great garage-saler with a knack for eBay. Anything you do at home that brings in money is an at-home business and these tips can make it easier and more profitable for you.
Recordkeeping and Deductions
By Mary Byers
The number one rule for moms who work at home is this: Do not mingle your personal and business finances. Open a separate checking account for your business. And, if necessary, secure a separate credit card so that you can keep your personal and business-related expenses separate. Deposit all of your income in the checking account. Pay all of your expenses out of the checking account. When you do, at the end of the year you’ll have an accurate record of income and expenses.
Check with your bank before your open your checking account. They may require proof that you’ve filed a “Doing Business As” form with your local or county government. Your banker may also be able to alert you to other regulations specific to your area.
I personally believe it’s essential to stay on top of your business’ finances on a monthly basis. Though it’s not my favorite chore, I use a simple software program to track income and spending. I can compare this year’s figures to last year’s to find out how I’m doing comparatively as well as monitor my year-to-date performance. There are many easy-to- use software programs on the market (such as Quicken and Quick Books) that make it possible for business owners to track and access their financial data.
In addition to inputting my financial data, I take time to organize my expense receipts each month. It takes less than a half hour to file them but doing so insure that my end-of-year tax preparation will run smoothly. Plus, I’ll have necessary proof if I’m ever audited.
Once your record keeping is in order, you should take the time to learn what’s allowable as an expense deduction for you as a self-employed individual. The more you deduct, the less your profit. The less your profit, the less you pay in taxes. The less you pay in taxes, the more you keep for yourself.
According to the Internal Revenue Service, “To be deductible, a business expense must be both ordinary and necessary. An ordinary expense is one that is common and accepted in your field of business. A necessary expense is one that is appropriate and helpful for your business. An expense does not have to be indispensable to be considered necessary.”
The challenge in determining what’s deductible is that it differs based on your occupation. Day care providers can write off the cost of toys they buy for their charges and a computer game designer can deduct the cost of purchasing competing games for review and critique.
If you’re interested in learning more about deductible expenses, consider picking up a copy of June’s Walker’s Self-Employed Tax Solutions. It’s an excellent resource, as is June’s website at www.junewalkeronline.com. Her blog is worth subscribing to if you’re interested in learning how to keep more of what you make.
Of course, if you’re uncertain as to whether something is deductible, check with your personal tax advisor. And if you don’t have one, get one. I personally waited too long to do this and wish I would have done it sooner.
Here’s how to make the most of your deductions:
Know what’s deductible. Take the time to learn what’s deductible. You may be surprised by what you can write off. For example, authors and playwrights may deduct the cost of the plays and movies they see if they are doing so to better learn the craft of plot, story and character. If you conduct business on the way to or from your family vacation, you may be able to write off a portion of your travel expenses.
If in doubt, ask. This is where a tax reference book or good accountant comes in. While it may be easier not to ask, doing so may well cost you money that would be better placed in your retirement account or a child’s college fund.
Realize that small deductions add up. My bank is 5.6 miles away. With the current IRS standard mileage deduction of 50.5 cents per mile, every trip to the bank for a business related transaction results in a deduction of $2.83 (50.5 cents x 5.6 miles). Last year alone my mileage deduction totaled $1,971. (I record each trip in a mileage log in order to provide documentation for the IRS.) Remember, deductions decrease taxable income, and lower taxable income means paying less tax.
Keep your receipts. Develop a simple record keeping system that’s easy to use. You’ll need to keep your records for seven years after the relevant tax return is filed. (Though the receipts only need to be kept temporarily, you should keep your tax returns forever.)
If you need help developing a working system, get it. Though recordkeeping and taxes can be both tedious and boring, they represent an area in which solo-preneurs can make a huge difference in the bottom line. You owe it to yourself and your family to excel in this area. If you’re intimidated or uncertain in this regard, make a commitment to learn what you need to know–starting today.
Author, Speaker Mary Byer’s created this program after the release of her book, Making Work at Home Work: Successfully growing a business and a family under one roof, to help other Work at Home Moms (WAHM) conquer some of the struggles that she herself has been through. Mary says, “I feel really privileged that I was able to write this book. I wrote it with Work at Home Moms in mind. There are so many unique challenges about working at home that only another work-at-homer can understand!” I would like to encourage you to explore their website for some great advice and some much-needed encouragement. You can learn more about making work at home work by subscribing to Mary’s free blog at www.makingworkathomework.com.
Making Work at Home Work
I’ve shared my struggles to balance work and family, specifically parenting, with you in several posts. I know many of you struggle with the same. Whether it be a direct sales business, supporting a husband’s business, writing or freelance design, if you’re a mom at home, finding that sweet spot where everything seems to click (without guilt or missed deadlines!) can be a challenge, to say the least. And if you do find that sweet spot, maintaining it and your sanity can be a whole new trial.
I am so happy to tell you about a new book. Mary Byers, author of The Mother Load: How to Meet Your Own Needs While Caring for Your Family and How to Say No . . . And Live to Tell about It, juggles both a freelance corporate writing and speaking business with her responsibilities as a wife and mother of two school-aged children. She does it successfully and has just released a new book sharing how she does it.
Making Work at Home Work is not a “how to start a home-based business” book. You can find a ton of those already. No, this is a much needed follow-up for those who have already started their businesses and need some direction in how to keep it going. As the title says, it helps those seeking to successfully grow a business and a family under one roof. It’s not about starting, but about maintaining. It’s not just about your business either. That is included, of course, but it’s also about your family: your husband, your children and yourself. It’s about having all of that and your sanity, too.
Here are some of the discussions within the book that I found most helpful.
- Understanding the difference between a SAHM and a WAHM is more than one letter
- Determining why you’re working and how much is enough
- The Parental Pact *A vital chapter!*
- Setting limits, boundaries, goals and regular work hours
- Creative child care options and determining when and if you need them
- How to distinguish and handle both kinds of guilt: good guilt and that comes from the Enemy
- What, when and how can you subcontract in order to raise revenue
The book also contains chapters on taxes, retirement, supper swaps, vacations, faith and sanity. Readers enjoy profiles of real moms running real businesses and how they do it. It’s a fantastic book, one I wish I’d had years ago with my first work-at-home ventures. You can purchase the book HERE (a wonderful gift for working moms, friends and sisters!) or you can enter to win a FREE copy on Mary’s site.
Mary’s Contest:
Win a copy of Making Work at Home Work (or another one of Mary’s books–your choice) AND a $25 Amazon gift certificate (for some WAHM essentials – Day Planner, bubble bath, funky file-folders, toddler DVDs)!
There are three ways to win:
- Leave a comment on Mary’s post. CLICK HERE to do that.
- Sign up for Mary’s quarterly newsletter where she offer tips and advice about all facets of a women’s life: WAHM, mothering, women’s issues. More info here!
- Join the Work at Home Blog Ring. More info here.
Good luck! And if you don’t win, be sure to order a copy of this book anyway.
I only saw one downside, and it’s minimal. The beginning chapters seemed redundant, not to other sources, but to themselves. Speakers tend to reiterate their point frequently throughout their speeches. Writers don’t need to do that because readers can simply turn back a page or a chapter and re-read what they missed. At conferences or lectures, though, listeners can’t turn back time. They need to hear the point over and over to get it. The beginning couple chapters were like that. The author repeated herself frequently to make sure we got the point. By the fourth chapter (forty pages in) this stopped.
Even with this one stylistic irritation, I HIGHLY recommend this book! It is filled with valuable information and insights founded on experience. I feel relieved just knowing I have this resource to guide me, a faith-based success story and “you can do it to” encouragement.
Don’t forget to visit the author’s site to enter the contest!
WFMW: Life Balance (and a Giveaway!)
Some people think the dilemma of balancing family and work disappears when you work from home. It doesn’t. I work very parttime as a freelancer, but I still struggle. Here are some tips that help me do what I need to do and escape the chasing guilt that I’m not doing enough or not doing it well enough.
Stop multitasking.
I can’t do it all and, after years of trying, have learned that the more I try to do it all, the less I actually accomplish. Furthermore, what I do accomplish usually falls short of my best. It’s shoddy because I’ve done it with a divided heart and mind. My work — be that actual work (like writing or helping a client) or family work (like household chores or playing with the kids) — shines when I focus. My kids notice when I’m not “all there.” They know when my mind is a thousand miles away. My work notices too. I can’t write and play with the kids at the same time. Articles lose their cohesiveness and they take exponentially longer to write. It’s just not time-efficient. In a world that demands multi-tasking, how do I learn to single-task? Read the rest of this entry
Looking for tips!
Okay, people, today is the day to leave a comment. I am desperately seeking tips on removing wallpaper glue.
I abhor wallpaper. I’m not kidding. Well, let me qualify that: I abhor wallpaper in my house. More specifically, the work necessary to remove it. You can read all about my hatred and the reasons for it here and here. I also mentioned it here. Yup. It has become the bane of my existence since we bought this house from wallpaper-lovers. And now I’m in the middle of another lovely adventure with this despicable home “improvement” product.
Not long ago I mentioned our issues with Zach’s room, the soon-to-be dining room. The wallpaper came off surprisingly well. Now I’m trying to get all the excess adhesive off. Got any tips? Ideas? Simply homemade tricks?? I’m all ears! I know how to get it off, but I’m looking for something a little quicker and more efficient than hot water and elbow grease.
One thing: my husband hates the smell of vinegar more than I hate wallpaper, so if your solution involves this wonder of wonders, please also include a way to get the smell out of the house before 6pm. Thanks!!
Happy with the way it is
Last night Rick and I watched the All-Star game as long as we could keep our eyes open. We finally surrendered around 10pm. To some of you this is a pathetic bedtime, but after a full day of swimming and playing with the kids and Rick’s crazy day at work, this was actually pretty good for us. Anywho, I got less than an hour’s sleep before Zach woke me. Poor guy had lost all his blankets and was curled in the fetal position on his pillow trying to avoid cold blasts of air conditioning. He wasn’t totally awake, but he was crying. Tucked in and secure, he quickly fell back into a peaceful sleep. I was minutes behind him. Unfortunately, my slumber lasted only thirty minutes more. I leaped from my bed at the first blood-curdling scream to find Ellie at the top of the stairs. I must have taken four steps at at time. Through sobs and fever, she told me of a black figure who was watching her sleep. My first reaction, of course, was to pray, during which she vomited all over me and herself. After two changes of clothes and an hour of prodding and pleading with her to take some Tylenol, we finally crawled back into bed, Rick to ours and me and Ellie to hers.
Earlier that day I had talked with a friend about our boys and their sleep problems. Her son recently completed a couple sleep studies and was diagnosed with sleep apnea which led to a minor surgery. Since then he and she have slept beautifully. I shared how, with a handful of exceptions, I haven’t slept through the night in over three years. We concluded there must be something wrong with Zach because it’s not supposed to be like this.
But while I lay in bed last night, Ellie slowly stroking my arm to make sure I hadn’t left her, I thought of sacrifices. Sure, I haven’t slept in almost four years; I’m tired and, at that moment, smelled very much like vomit in spite of the clean clothes. I was in a small bed void of my husband and other favorite sleep props. I thought of all this and was still completely happy.
There is a story in 1 Chronicles 21 that seldom gets much attention. David went against God’s command by taking a census of his military. It may not sound like a big deal, but God knew that David was counting his men to make sure they could defeat their enemies. Rather than trusting in God, David was trusting in numbers. God corrected David’s focus by sending a plague on Israel. He also sent an angel to tell David how to make amends: he was to build an alter on Araunah’s threshing floor. When Araunah saw King David coming toward his property, he bowed low, his face to the ground. David told him God’s request and asked to buy the property. Araunah refused the money and even offered his own oxen for the sacrifices David must make. David insisted saying “I will not take what is yours or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing.”
What does this have to do with parenting? We think it’s not supposed to be like this. Life should be easier than it is, right? Who said that? And when we resign to the fact that this is the way life is — sleepless nights and far too much bodily excrement — then we tend to look at parenting as a job. Stay-at-home moms are especially guilty of this. We feel like our husbands are out working so hard and we’re not bringing in any money and so our kids are our jobs. We work to produce good kids, sweet, moral, intelligent and happy; clean homes, the kind that put Martha Stewart to shame; happy husbands, the envy of all their friends, and look like we’ve done it all without breaking a sweat. We’ve “professionalized motherhood” to the extent that we no longer see parenting as service. It’s our career. We see our kids as work and when things don’t go easily for us, we get frustrated and angry and try to find an easier path. Forget parenting, we do this with regular jobs too!
But what if we consider parenting as an offering to God? Will we give Him what has cost us nothing? And our jobs. Must we complain at every trial or can we consider our discomfort evidence of a sacrifice made to bring Him glory?
Let’s take the parallel back one step. David lost sight of what made his kingdom great. It wasn’t their numbers, their skills or even his excellent leadership abilities. It was the God they served. We cannot be great parents by anything that we do or any skills we possess. We can read all the books we want, but the wisdom gained will never be enough. Our families will never be great because of our appearances, our behavior, our skills or our efforts. Our families can only be great when we serve God wholeheartedly, without looking to the left or to the right. He is what makes us great.
What sacrifices have you made for which you can thank God today?
Being Disciplined: Part 2
Two Saturdays past I attended an event for local Stampin’ Up! demonstrators. I’ve been selling their products and teaching stamping and scrapbooking classes for seven years. It started out as a hobby and then became a business and now it’s back to being little more than a hobby. But recently a friend decided to start her own SU! business by becoming a demonstrator too. I attended this “Spring Fling” to support her and help her get off to a good start.
The day was a blast. We made some great projects and, of course, heard some very inspiring words by career demonstrators. They talked about the most productive ways to maintain a consistently successful business. Because I no longer plan to take over the world as Creative Stampin’ Queen, much of it went in one ear and out the other with a generous “if only” roll of the eyes. But some of it I found very applicable to writing. Or actually any career that has you working at home.
Leave home to work. This doesn’t mean get a different job or rent an office. Simply find a way to differentiate between home time and work time.
The problem with working at home is that we’re surrounded by all of our at-home chores. It’s difficult to turn off the “gotta do” pager when you pass a stack of dirty dishes while grabbing a glass of water or an overflowing hamper on your way to the bathroom. If I went away to work, I wouldn’t be able to do the dishes or throw in some laundry, but because I’m home all day, I feel like I have to. The result? All my work (read: writing, editing, market research, etc.) gets put off. The speaker on Saturday encouraged us to make sure we’re treating our work like a real job (duh!) by leaving home to do it (ah-ha!) Maybe that means literally leaving the house; going for coffee before returning home to start work. Or maybe you can just flip a mental switch. Maybe a timer would be helpful. Whatever it takes. But make sure you’re not using your work time for household chores.
Stop multi-tasking. I’ve decided multi-tasking is a fancy way to procrastinate without feeling guilty about it. One of the speakers asserted that doing one thing at a time ensures you’ll finish it quicker with better results than if you divide your efforts among several tasks. She’s right. This is why lists work for me. I see what needs to be done and cross them off one at a time. Without my list, I meander from room to room doing a little of this and a little of that consistently forgetting why I entered the room in the first place. I used to be labeled ADD; now it’s called Momnesia.
Great tips – right? Only I can’t do it.
My work IS my home. I’m a stay-at-home mom! My kids and the home where they live, they are my work, and I can’t leave them. I’ve tried. They follow. (The kids, not the house.) So, I set up designated work times when they’ll leave me alone, but that doesn’t work either. Take today for example. Rest time is not optional. It happens every day at one o’clock. For at least one hour, I have quiet to work. In theory, anyway. But today Zach didn’t want to play in his room and he didn’t want to take a nap. Instead he chose to stand just inside his door and scream for an entire hour. Did I mention my workspace is about ten feet from his door? After several visits to calm hm down and remind him who is in charge, he finally quit screaming (I think he passed out from the exertion.) at 2:08. That’s when Ellie came down the stairs thrilled that rest time was over. I popped in a video for her, hoping it would keep her occupied for a while. Instead of being content with Cinderella, she begged me to sit with her (cue the mom guilt) and has been talking to me nonstop since.
As for multi-tasking, well, that’s my life too. I need to be able to fill juice cups, make dinner, clean the kitchen and listen to one kid singing while praising another’s latest drawing for Grandma. Sure, a list keeps me directed, but actually being able to focus on one thing at a time? Well, that would only be possible if I woke up hours before the rest of my family. I’ve tried working after the kids go to bed, but by then I’m exhausted and my brain barely functions.
And so, as my friend Dale would say, it’s another day of Tanya’s whining and complaining. *grin* I’m not complaining! Or at least I dont mean to be. Just sharing thoughts. Maybe I’m too ambitious, my goals too lofty. Perhaps my expectations for this time in my life are completely unrealistic. Or maybe I’ve just done enough already today. But I did want to share these tips with you! If they don’t work for me now, maybe they’ll work for you. And I can get them back later.
