Posts filed under 'trials'
Adventures in Real Estate
Not long ago I told you we would soon begin a new adventure: selling our home and finding a new one.
This is our first house. We’ve been here six years. It has served us very well and we like it, but it’s time to move on. The kids keep getting bigger (in direct violation of my instructions). We had never intended to stay here forever anyway. We bought this as a starter home and are ready for a — what do you call the next one? A “settler’s home?”
That sounds a little too pioneer-ish for me. I am no Laura Ingalls. I’m more like the nice version of Nellie, but after she moved back to the city with her husband. What was his name? It doesn’t matter. My in-laws are light years better than hers. Remember the yelling? Ugh! Of course, this relates to the show and not at all to the books. The real Nellie never was nice. Maybe I am Laura, but only after she became an author and moved to the city. Hmm … This is what you call a ridiculous, irrelevant tangent.
If anyone can tell me what the next house is called, I’ll give you a prize.
So last week we had the realtors (Yes, plural. We have a team working for us.) to assess our house. It’s a two-part process. First they come and tour the house, asking a million questions and making a few suggestions. About a week later they return with a massive portfolio filled with all kinds of info about your neighborhood, your competition, what they’ll do for you, and what they think you should list your house for.
In between Part 1 and Part 2, we had some adventures. If this is just the beginning, I’m really not sure how I’ll survive this! Sit down; I’ll tell you a story, hopefully without any more of those awkward tangents.
A friend expressed interest in the house. This is fantastic because we could do a for-sale-by-owner which would save us the realtor fees and commissions. This friend and his wife were supposed to come on Saturday. (Part 1 had taken place Tuesday afternoon; Part 2 was scheduled for Monday morning.) We worked like crazy nearly killing each other and our marriage in perfect harmony to make sure the house looked better than usual its best. Meanwhile, the weather was insane! (You may have seen the storm covered on Nightly News or other worthy reports. Some local schools STILL have no power, four days later. It feels like driving through the aftermath of a tornado. Really nuts.) Just before our friends were due to arrive, Ellie came downstairs very excited about something: “There’s water in my room, Daddy! Come look!”
Now, our roof is fine. Absolutely fine! We’ve had it checked. But there is an attic vent just above the girl’s room that, when high winds combine with torrential rain (once every three years), water goes up the vent instead of down and then she gets a few drops in one tiny spot. Regardless, we do NOT want to show the house with buckets on the floor. Doesn’t quite make the best impression.
Fortunately for us, the storm was so bad that our friends never made it. The highway was closed due to downed wires, trees and flooding, so they made it out of the city just in time to turn around and go back to Manhattan. That was Saturday.
On Sunday we made a list of the open houses we wanted to visit, four in total.
The first two had no electricity.
The third one needed way more work than we can afford.
The forth one (the one that most interested us) looked like this:
Oh, you can’t see it? That’s because there is a GIANT TREE on top of it!!!
Here’s another angle:
They say there’s no damage to the house and once they get the tree removed, they’ll be happy to show it to us. They’re actually thrilled with this development because it will allow more natural light into the library.
TANGENT ALERT: Did you hear that? LIBRARY. It sounds so cool, doesn’t it? “I’ll take my tea in the li-brary, please.” I get giddy just thinking about it. Currently the Dennis Library consists of several boxes and two tall bookcases lining the garage and our upstairs bathroom, so any place that can store our books within actual living space (without needing nice-smelling candles) would be a delightful step-up. So, now, if they could only get that tree off the library …
We came home determined to laugh about it, thank God it wasn’t on our insurance and try again the next day.
The next day, however, was Monday. Monday brought with it all new adventures: the meeting with the realtors.
The meeting went very well. I desperately wanted to pray, but remembered that I was not at church or the kids’ school and therefore not exactly with like-minded Christians. While prayer would have been great, Rick agreed that it was a little too early to pull out the Jesus Freak membership card while trying to get these people to work for us. After initialing a dozen spots, selecting at least four important dates, and signing several papers, I joyfully walked them out before starting to pace and pray and hyperventilate just a little.
That was when my adoring, oh-so-compassionate husband decided to pontificate a few scenarios. “You know, babe, we really don’t have to move. This is a very nice house and if we don’t have any more kids, this works great.”
I glared at him smiled timidly. “What’s that, sweetheart?”
“What do you think? Should we have a third?”
Have you seen My Cousin Vinny? I would post a clip, but the language is deplorable, so you’ll just have to remember the scene at the cabin when Marisa Tomei stomps her foot while mentioning her biological clock. “Is there anything else we can pile on the top of this pressure cooker?!??”
Yeah. That was me on Monday.
After getting me a sandwich bag, a bowl, and carefully walking me to the open front door to get some air, Rick admitted it might have been a bad time to bring it up.
This is going to be a fun adventure. 
6 comments March 17, 2010
Mama Loves: Angels in Disguise
My weekly exercise in positive blogging, Mama Loves is Philippians 4:8-9 in action. Learn more at this post.
Mama loves angels in disguise.
Last Thursday I woke with this prayer: “God, I’ve done it again. I overbooked myself today. Forgive me and please help me make it through the day with me and my children all in one piece.” (more…)
8 comments April 14, 2009
Hairy Races
Fine hair runs in my family. My husband’s family is blessed with gorgeous, shiny thick hair. My brothers have beautifully thick curls. My mother, grandmother and I (and doubtless generations of disappointed women before us) suffer with stick-straight, floss-fine hair. My poor granny also boasted white hair since birth and a receeding hairline that has made us all worry about drive-in movie theatre foreheads.
Ellie’s hair, unfortunately, comes from my side. The girl has gorgeous color and curls to die for, but it’s fine. I don’t mean thin. She has a lot of hair; it’s just fine. If you’re not afflicted with such you may not understand the trouble this causes. It tangles horrendously and can take hours to comb through.
In college I drove with a friend, windows down. I subtly collected all my hair into my hand and held tightly. She didn’t understand and told me to let go. We weren’t going that far and my hair would be fine. We arrived at our destination twenty minutes later, her hair still beautiful and perfectly neat. Mine, however, had been replaced by a huge nest made from straw by a schizophrenic bird. This is the future to which my genes have doomed our daughter. Add this to her curls and every bath day invites torture and lament.
Combing her hair is painful for both of us. Removing the messes takes patience, gentleness, diligence and usually some help – like a life-saving leave-in conditioner.
Sometimes it’s easier to ignore the tangles. Rather than suffer through her crying and my impatience, I’d prefer to pop it all up in a ponytail and forget it. But the tangles always grow. Left untended, they get worse.
Sometimes it’s tempting to only remove some of the rats, the bigger ones, and let the smaller ones wait for another day. I mean, isn’t forty minutes of combing enough? If it’s not done in that timeframe, then maybe it really doesn’t need to be done. If the top layers look nice, the rest can wait – right? I admit: sometimes I give in to this temptation, but come next bath day, I have to answer for my haste with greater diligence.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because the messes in our lives are the same. We may be tempted to let them be, ignore them or just save the conflict for another day. But we need to deal with our problems. Yes, it takes work and will likely involve pain, but the alternative will cause more pain. We need to remove the sin from our lives, no matter how big or small. I’m not saying all of our tangles are related to sin, but if it is, then we need to root it out. If it’s not, we still need to deal with it if we want to continue to grow in our faith and be used by God to our greatest potential.
There is good news! Just as I would never tackle Ellie’s hair without help, we cannot tackle our problems alone either. To do so is futile, setting ourselves up for failure. Praise God we have life-saving help! No leave-in conditioner, but rather we have a pool or resources. Prayer. Faithful friends. Encouraging Scripture. God-fearing teachers and leaders. Accountability. Best of all: the Holy Spirit on our side who knows our weaknesses. When we remove the tangles that encumber us, we can run faithfully the race laid out before us. We can be champions!
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
- Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)
1 comment April 6, 2009
All my cares
I haven’t blogged much lately, and I’m sorry about that. It’s not that I haven’t had much to say; it’s just that what I have to say probably shouldn’t be published for all the world to see. What could be published, for some reason, won’t align itself in any cohesive manner within me. I’m left simply praying, “God help me.”
Within the past three weeks my grandmother died, my mom came for a visit (we only see each other twice a year since she lives and works 800 miles away), my daughter turned five (an emotionally-chaged age considering my family’s abusive history), my estranged father contacted me after ten years of silence (seemingly with the sole purpose of attacking and berating me), and I finished teaching a 5-month Bible study on Ruth. I am exhausted and I don’t know what to do with most of this, especially the situation with my dad.
“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your
anxiety on Him,because He cares for you.
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert your adversary, the devil,
prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences
of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace,
who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect,
confirm, strengthen and establish you.
To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
- 1 Peter 5:6-11 (NAS)
Many things pop out from this passage: we will be exalted when the time is right; we are under attack; be strong because the weak go down first; we’re not alone in our suffering nor our experiences; God will be glorified. But I keep tripping on one little phrase: “… casting all your anxiety on Him …” Not some of your anxiety, not a few of your biggest cares, but ALL.
This is where I struggle. I want to handle things on my own. I want to just take care of the little stuff and then let Him handle the big stuff.
The next phrase always corrects me: “… because He cares for you.” He doesn’t care for some of me nor only when I do the right things or after I’ve already handled the small stuff myself. No. He cares for me unconditionally and without fail. He is beyond faithful in His pursuit of me! He cares for me so much that even the “little” things are big things to Him.
Once again I beg God to take it all from me. I don’t ask to be released from trials, but only that He would loosen my prideful grip in order to accept His help and wisdom. Take my cares and show me what to do with them.
4 comments March 12, 2009
Mama Loves, a condensed version
Normally Tuesday mornings start with Mama Loves, an exercise in gratitude and positive perspective. This week, however, my planned post is postponed.
My laptop in on the fritz. Yes, I believe my beautiful Ruthie, whom I love and can’t live without, is dying. She has gone everywhere with me for two years and now, sadly, I think she’s worn out. Why does this affect Mama Loves? Well, all my stuff is on that laptop (my graphics, pictures, programs, writing stuff*) and I can’t access it until I can wake her up, so that puts me on The Man’s computer, a viable substitution, but just not the same.
The positive side of this situation? Hmmm … I’ll likely waste less time today. I may need to get a new laptop soon. That’s kind of cool … expensive, but cool. And I get to play around with the hubby’s computer fortress. Who knows what fun stuff I’ll find here in the frigid corner of this basement? I’ll probably get to play my guitar today! That’s definitely cool.
Mama loves challenges. Mama loves surprises. Mama loves that God is always in control.
* Don’t worry: I have backups of all my book proposals, manuscripts, outlines and notes. I just haven’t backed up my other stuff. Can you guess what I’ll work on as soon as Ruthie comes out of this coma?
Add comment January 20, 2009
Snowballs
We saw our first snowflakes today. The kids were SO excited!! Ellie wanted to run out and play immediately. Unfortunately, the short burst of seasonal quirkiness ended before we could find her mittens. That’s okay by me. I’m not quite ready for winter yet. Especially if it, in traditional northeast fashion, decides to stick around through March. Besides, today I’m dealing with a completely different kind of snowball.
I mentioned last week about the leaky roof and new ceiling construction. Well, the guys finally finished the job yesterday. Shortly after they left, I got busy preparing the room to be repainted.
Three and a half years ago I decorated the room with trains. When finished, it looked like this.
Cute – right? I thought so. Perfect for Zach’s first room, but not exactly suited for a dining room, which is what this room will soon become.
I started taking down the trains, 3-D wooden things I painted and nailed to the walls when Zach was born. The 12th piece brought with it a patch of wallpaper. You may remember the adventures we’ve had with wallpaper in this house. After finding one too many surprises, I decided to paint over the wallpaper in Zach’s room rather than subject myself to another round of Homeowner’s Roulette. But now, since the train pulled one tiny little piece, this simple cosmetic paint project snowballed into a much bigger job.
I started taking down the wallpaper to find holes. And the snowball grows. Fortunately these are much smaller than the ones we’ve encountered in the past. Then I found this.
Some days I really miss renting. Sure, we had a creepy landlord, but we didn’t have snowballs. We didn’t have the responsibility of caring if there were snowballs. We could make a phone call and forget it. As a homeowner, there is no one to call. Well, except our contractor who, I’m sure, loves having clients like us who buy houses like ours.
But then some snowballs are worth the effort.
“And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope.” – Romans 5:3-4 (HCSB)
This is not hope as in a wish, but hope as in an utter, unrelenting confidence. In other words (my own words), trials encourage perseverance which, when it grows, snowballs into character which, the more it’s tested, snowballs into an undoubtable faith in our salvation. That’s a snowball I’ve love to manage.
How awesome would it be to never doubt your faith? To never think you’re crazy for believing in a God you can’t see or a direction you’re not totally sure He’s given you but you think He might have. These trials are a good thing when they snowball into an unshakable faith. But the only way they can do that is if we persevere. Our perseverance allows the trials to do their work, adding layer upon layer of character to us and our faith.
Sound off. What snowballs are you managing? Are you persevering? If not, what is preventing you from attaining that ultimate hope?
2 comments October 29, 2008
MIA
Hey. I wanted to let you all know why I’ve been absent this week. If you’ve been watching the news at all, you’ve heard much about Lehman Brothers and the Wall Street choas. Well, my husband works for Lehman Brothers. At least he has for the past seven years. This week has been … eventful, to say the least. But I’ll be back to my regular blogging self in no time. In fact, tomorrow I’ll announce the “new ‘do” winner along with the date of The Big Cut.
For now I just want to share a couple verses with you.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
- Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
This peace that defies understanding, it’s tangible and kind of scary. When all this happened with Lehman Brothers, I wasn’t worried. In fact, I didn’t even think twice about it. I was and am so fully convinced that God is in control, that none of it fazed me. My husband lost his job, our sole source of income, and yet I wasn’t worried about a thing, not our mortgage or Ellie’s school payments or groceries or health insurance or anything. It was just another day with an awesome God at the reigns. Peace saturated my entire being. The peace was so overwhelming, it was almost frightening.
When the news broke, our phone started ringing off the hook. I received dozens of emails each day offering encouragement and prayer. Each person I spoke with was completely amazed at the peace God gave me. The more people I talked to, the more I started to freak out. If everyone else was worried, shouldn’t I be worried too? This is, after all, my life and my family. I should be the one most terrified by the possibilities and the reality surrounding me. All of a sudden panic and fear replaced the peace.
Why? The situation hadn’t changed.
But my perspective had. I took my eyes off God. Rather than focusing on Him, I started looking at the situation.
This incomprehensible peace is of God. No other explanation exists. But we canot possess it if our focus strays from Him. Let me encourage you to keep your eyes on God. Those around you may not understand how you can be so confident and at rest; you may not understand it yourself. But don’t take your eyes off Him. He is our Source of strength and peace. He the only thing worthy of our attention.
2 comments September 18, 2008
To Be Like a Fly
A week ago I mentioned watching a fly for fifteen minutes. Have you ever done that? Just sat there and watched a fly? They’re actually pretty cool. This particular fly was on my windshield. He sat directly in my line of sight while I began the monotonous trip home from Philadelphia.
I didn’t want to flip the wipers and smear bug guts all over the window, so instead I played a sadistic game of testing his strength. I watched him intently while speeding through residential streets en route to the highway, waiting for him to flutter off into oblivion. He didn’t budge. I suspected he was dead, but no; I saw him wash his filthy little face at the red light.
As a side note, does anyone else find it ironic that flies who typically buzz around garbage or feces are still concerned with personal hygiene? Of course, he could have just been licking his lips. I may be giving him more credit than he’s due.
The light turned green, so I began my fun little game again. This time I watched my speed, too. Ten miles per hour; nothing. Fifteen miles per hour; still nothing. Around twenty miles per hour I saw him hunker down closer to the windshield, but then I caught another red light.
Now this was interesting: while we were stopped, he shifted his position. Up to this point he had been kind of diagonal on the windshield. Now he moved to align his weird little fly body his with his head straight down (toward the hood) and his derriere up (toward the roof of the car — yes, I still refuse to call my vehicle a “van”).
With his new position, this little bugger held on until almost seventy miles per hour! I’m not exactly sure where I lost him; I was trying to watch traffic, too, but I know it was somewhere between fifty and seventy-five. Isn’t that amazing? His little fly feet could hold him tight against glass, a surface with no traction, while facing a wind resistance up to seventy miles per hour!
We need to have faith like fly feet.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23 (NIV)
Have you ever let go of your faith? Maybe not your faith, but your convictions. I tend to think if everything is going smoothly, then I must be doing what God wants. When the first big wind comes, I doubt what I thought to be true. I’m not talking about abandoning my beliefs or Scriptural truths, but rather what I think God wants me to do — this ministry or that, this path or the one over there. When resistance comes, rarely is my first thought to hunker down and cling tighter to my convictions. Instead I think “Well, I must have been wrong” and I let go.
I know I’m fallible and God is not. Who am I to believe I can fully understand His wishes for me? But who am I to think I deserve a smooth ride just for doing what He asks?
So this is what I’ve learned from a fly:
I would like to add that it’s okay to fail. Unfortunately, my illustration doesn’t go that far. My fly friend may be plastered on the grill of whatever car was behind me. Good thing God loves us more than flies (Matthew 6).
So what have you learned from unexpected sources?
3 comments August 27, 2008
Think on this.
Ellie rushed into my arms sobbing. As I stroked her back and wiped the tears from her flushed cheeks, she confessed the problem: “Zachary called me a BOY!!”
“Honey, are you a boy?”
“No.”
“Then don’t worry about it.”
She gets her sensitivity from me. It sounds silly for her to be so upset over a little thing like being called a boy, but it was serious to her. It hurts when people say things that aren’t true. Over the past month I’ve lost seven pounds thanks to the stress and criticism diet. And that’s without even touching my new Pilates chair! I’ve been dealing with someone whom I believed to be a friend, but who has chosen to speak and believe lies about me. And these opinions have been shared with others without offering me a single opportunity to respectfully disagree. It’s extremely hurtful.
But just like Ellie, I’ve been focusing on the wrong things. Rather than trying to defend myself or logically argue my side, I need to focus on the truth. I know what has been said about me is not true. I know the source of these lies does not know me well enough to make such harsh judgements. Furthermore, I know Who my true judge is! I need to focus on the truth — not just the opposite of what is being said, but also the truth of Whom I serve. I don’t need people to like me or even be nice to me. I need only to seek God in all things and strive to serve Him perfectly. It is only His opinion of me that matters.
I told Ellie: “You know you’re not a boy. I know you’re not a boy. Even Zach knows you’re not a boy. Think about what is true and don’t worry about the rest.”
And so I tell myself: “You know you love God. You know you’re doing your very best to serve Him. You know He loves you unconditionally. Think about what is true and don’t worry about the rest.”
The truth sets us free from the burden to please others, the guilt of falling short, the anger and bitterness caused by injustice, the hurt caused by those who harm us. The truth sets us free from sin and all that results from it.
Are you focusing on truth today? What has been distracting you from the freedom He offers?
4 comments June 24, 2008
More prayers
“Do return, O Lord; how long will it be? And be sorry for They servants. O satisfy us in the morning with They lovingkindness, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days Thou hast afflicted us, and the years we have seen trouble. Let Thy work appear to Thy servants, and Thy majesty to their children. And let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; and do confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands.” — Psalm 90:13-17 (NAS)
This past week has overwhelmed me. Not on my own behalf, but on account of friends who are struggling, who are in the midst of trials, the depths of which I can only imagine. A single mother whose home and all its contents were destroyed in a fire. A couple whose last fight against infertility failed. A husband returns from Iraq a different man to his wife and children. Marriage difficulties. Sudden death. Jobs lost without warning. Discouragement. Betrayal. Lonliness.
I am blessed! I sit in a warm house with two beautiful children and a husband who loves me. I am in need of nothing. The kids are currently sick, some nasty cold, but other than that we have no troubles. We are indeed blessed! One of those blessings is the priviledge of praying for our friends and loved ones.
All things come to pass. This time is one of comfort and serenity for us, but for those around us, a time of trial. My heart aches for them. I listen and ponder and pray. I weep and mourn with them, knowing it is a gift to carry these burdens together. A part of me feels guilty that I have it so good and they have it so rough. But this too shall pass. When it is my turn to walk through the valley, they may be on mountaintops offering ropes of encouragement and support. In the meantime, I cry out to God: “How long?” I beg Him to show us His favor, to confirm the work He has prepared for us. May He make clear the steps to be taken. Show us what to do! Then give permanence to the fruit of our obedience.
Photo by Datron Vulin.
3 comments December 3, 2007
