Category Archives: trials
Not Yet Four Weeks Later
Thursday marks four weeks since Zach got his cast off. (If you missed this whole summer saga, go back and read this and this.)
(The sound is a little annoying. I’m sorry about that. The neighbors’ pool filter is acting funny since Irene.)
The orthopedist gets almost giddy when he talks about how amazing kids are, how the heal so quickly. He tells me that it would take an adult three or four months to progress as far as Zach has in just three weeks.
Yes, kids are amazing. Knowing this, witnessing the miracles every day, how can anyone for a moment forget how amazing our Creator is? How can anyone deny that He exists? How can I stop praising Him for all He has done for me?
I can’t.
EVER.
We’ve been so busy with PT appointments and getting ready for a new school year that I’ve not blogged lately. Some of you have questions. Here are a few details.
We continue to go to physical therapy three times a week, an hour each time. Zach does still have a limp, but we’re working on that.
He does stairs! If he holds my hand and the railing, he does them just like a normal six-year-old. If he’s by himself, he usually does the “bear crawl” up and a “bum scoot” down.
As for walking, he does have a walker which he uses whenever we go out or when he gets tired. Around the house, though, he walks all on his own, either limping or using the walls and furniture for support. We haven’t touched the wheelchair for at least two weeks now.
Now, tell me: How good is God?
The new leg of our adventure
I am still processing the events of yesterday, so my thoughts here may seem stilted or a bit jumbled. It is what it is, folks.
On Tuesday I posted on many things including my disillusionment with doctors and this whole cast business. I told you how we likely would not get the cast off until the middle of August. Believing that, we prepped ourselves for yesterday’s appointment by stifling hope and planning to seek additional opinions if necessary. But things didn’t happen as we expected.
After Zach had his x-rays, we corralled both kids into the tiny examination room and simultaneously steeled ourselves for the doctor’s assessment. Instead of his usual demeanor, the doc entered the room with a smile and proclaimed “It’s the day we’ve been waiting for!”
We weren’t ready; we weren’t prepared, but we were willing.
What happened next involved a lot of screaming and crying from both kids. That saw is LOUD. And then more screaming and crying. After being bound for nearly ten weeks, Z was quite uncomfortable with his new liberty. The crying lasted until we got home and then throughout the bath and getting dressed.
The same questions repeatedly rise.
Is he walking? No. In fact, he hasn’t even put weight on it yet. He’s very nervous about bending the newly healed leg, but when he’s not thinking about it, he does move it around. His train table served as a beautiful motivator. He has confirmed that the break location doesn’t hurt at all. It’s just his knee and muscles that hurt. They’re stiff and sorely out of practice.
Is it totally off or does he have a smaller cast? It’s totally off. We don’t have a splint or anything other than a prescription for a pediatric walker, should he need it.
How does it look? Skinny, sore, and kinda gross. You know all the dead skin that naturally exfoliates during baths and while you sleep? Imagine that piling up over ten weeks with nowhere to go. It’s kinda nasty, and now it’s floating in my tub, flaking off my son and leaving a soft, thick layer on all our sheets. In addition, the lack of sunshine has left him looking a touch gray in color.
When do you start physical therapy? Hopefully next week. We’re still waiting for a confirmed appointment.
What now? Well, this is definitely not the end of our adventure, just a new phase of it. Our job now is to get his courage and confidence up while his muscles regain their strength and memory. School starts in less than five weeks. It would be fantastic he were walking independently by then, including doing stairs. If not, though, we will need wisdom to know how what steps to take.
And that’s the story. Life is never boring, is it?
This all happened “so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead. He delivered us … and He will deliver us!”
“We have set our hope on Him that He will deliver us yet again, as you also join in helping us by prayer, so that many people may give thanks to God on our behalf for the gracious gift given to us through the help of many.” (2 Corinthians 1:9b-11)
Praise be to HIM forever and ever! Amen!
Forgetful Me
Last night a precious friend texted me an end-of-the-rope plea: “The stress is winning… Pray for me.”
My reply was a quote from Isaiah:
“Our God does not grow tired or weary;
His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and
increases the power of the weak …
Those that wait upon the Lord will
rise on wings like eagles.”
This morning I am humbled and embarrassed by my perpetual forgetfulness. But, you see, it’s human nature. This passage that I quoted to my dear friend is preceded by a similar reminder:
“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth!”
Sometimes — like last week — we quickly forget all we know. Remember Elijah? He did it too! The Israelites (for whom Isaiah’s words were first intended) forgot who was caring for them, and we can do the same thing. We’ll spout truths about God’s faithfulness and bottomless well of strength, then freak out over having to wait a measly two weeks for a burden to be lifted. We’ll spend the morning praising God for the wonderful house He gave us, then fill the afternoon with curses because the previous homeowners sold us a feeble construction of crooked sticks and half-finished projects. We’ll complain about all the frenzied details that surround us, completely forgetting in Whose hand we sit.
That’s when Isaiah jumps off the pages of Scripture with these rhetorical questions.
Hello?! Is anybody home? Have you not witnessed all the great things our God has done for you??
For all of you who were worried about me last week, I’m okay. 
Just a touch thick-headed and very, very forgetful.
When a boy breaks his leg …
When a five-year-old boy breaks his leg, his x-rays may look like this:
From the top, you can see that his femur broke into three pieces.
From the side, you can see that those pieces overlapped one another at a rather painful angle.
… his sister writes him lots of little love notes while nervously waiting in the ER.
My favorite is the one on the top far left. It simply says “Be ok. Be ok. Be ok.” She was so scared.
When a five-year-old boy breaks his leg weeks before summer break, he misses the last three weeks of school, the end of baseball season, VBS, Sunday School, swim parties and 4th of July fireworks, but his cousins may still envy him because … Read the rest of this entry
How to be Outstanding
“Dear brothers and sisters, be firm. Do not be moved! Always be outstanding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
… to the extent that God has blessed you.
… because a door of great opportunity stands wide open for me, but there are many opponents.
Stay alert, stand firm in the faith show courage, be strong. Everything you do should be done in love.”
Last week I finished reading 1 Corinthians. The quotes above come from 15:58, 16:2, 9, 13-14, all quoted in the NET.
Before I go any further, please understand that I’ve not quoted the verses in their entirety, not even entirely in context. (Click here to read the full chapters.) In order to fully study and understand Scripture, we MUST read it in context, both literary and cultural.
Sometimes, though, God seems to highlight sections of Scripture. He makes them brighter for individuals for specific reasons. The parts I quoted above are the portions that jumped off the page at me last week.
Zach’s care (since his accident) has completely consumed me. I’m not complaining. Please understand that. But I have been overwhelmed, overwhelmed to the point that I sometimes just go through the motions knowing that I have so much to do and I don’t keep moving I won’t get it all done. Believing — or perhaps fearing — that if I take time to process our situation or my feelings about it or the toll it is taking on us, I’ll miss something. The balls I’ve so carefully arranged into moving suspension will tumble to the ground. Read the rest of this entry
The Newest Dennis Adventure
Not all of you are on facebook, so you may be a bit in the dark about this week’s happenings around here. It’s been rather exciting in a totally “this-is-not-what-we-would-have-planned-but-God-is-still-good-and-in-charge” kind of way.
Here’s the story.
We went to Pennsylvania on Sunday to visit family. After dinner Rick and his mom took the kids to a super cool wooden playground. It was there that Zach, while running and chasing and having a wonderful time, somehow got his foot caught and flipped so that, when Rick turned toward the screaming, Z was suspended upside down over monkey bars with his leg still caught in the platform above. Read the rest of this entry
Reflections on 1 Kings 19 (Read with Me Check-in)
Too often people view the Bible as divided in purpose. They see the Old Testament as filled with boring laws and entertaining stories for kids, neither of which apply to us today. Then there’s the New Testament which, in contrast, reveals “relevant” stuff, like tools for mature and godly living.
Hear me now: The entire Bible is useful! The entire Bible is applicable! The entire Bible reveals God! And to know God is the only reason to read the Bible.
I read 1 Kings 19 this week and couldn’t believe how the words just jumped off the page at me. It was as if they were written specifically for me and the situation I currently face. I referenced part of the passage in yesterday’s post. My current struggles (which extend beyond the school decision) are irrelevant. The lessons, however, are extend beyond time and circumstances.
You remember the story. (You probably read it four months ago.)
Elijah had just challenged all the prophets of Baal and won. God came down on Elijah’s drenched altar, instantly consuming the offer. This after the false prophets had spent hours pleading their god to hear them. They had danced and yelled, prayed and cut themselves, all to no avail. Elijah’s God proved to be the one true God. YAY! So, the people bow down and EJ (I have a friend whose son, Elijah, is nicknamed EJ. I like it. ) rounds up all those evil prophets for a massacre.
He should be happy – right? Well, the wicked queen Jezebel isn’t happy. She sends EJ a message assuring him that his life is on the line. He runs away and hides in a cave. That’s where he cries out to God that all this mess is too much. He’s the only surviving prophet of God and nobody cares; he’s all alone and persecuted. (Anyone ever feel that way?) God sends an angel who tends to EJ’s needs. He guards him while he sleeps, he gives him food and then encouragement. The angel tells Elijah that God will pass by. There is a loud thunder and then an earthquake followed by a great fire. God is in none of these. As our hero cowers inside the cave he hears a gentle whisper, nothing more than a breeze. In this He finds God, who then questions him and commissions him again.
Here are a few things I drew from this one short chapter:
- God doesn’t need earth-shattering actions to make Himself known. A simple breeze or a sweet whisper can be enough to shake the earth and fill us with assurance and strength.
- When we’re overwhelmed and feel like we can’t go on, He will give us what we need to persevere — be that food, revitalization or just rest. He’ll guard over us, just like the angel He sent to guard over Elijah. He is with us, even if we can’t see Him.
- Humans are forgetful. Elijah had just been pivotal in one of the most powerful expressions of God’s power and presence. Yet here he was running and hiding in a cave simply because one woman spoke harsh words about him. Had he forgotten the power he just witnessed? Had he forgotten God?
- God always provides. Elijah was exhausted, scared, hungry and frustrated. God provided rest, protection, food and encouragement. He always gives us what we need for the moment. Sometimes not until the last moment, but that assumes our time-frame and not His. He knows what we need and will provide the strength we need until we get the next bundle of “supplies” for our journey.
- God gives second chances and we have choices. God asked Elijah twice: “What are you doing here?” I really think God was trying to gently urge Elijah back toward confident faith, the faith that would fearlessly stand up to hundreds of false prophets. Elijah answered the same both times, but we can answer differently. We can choose to recognize God, even when we can’t see Him.
So, what are you doing here? Why has God put you where you are and what are you doing while there? Are you fulfilling your purposes? Are you so distracted by your fears and circumstances that you can’t see God, even if He brushes your face with the breeze?
Here I am, God. I’m listening. I’m waiting. I’m watching.
I’m also reading. How about you? How are you doing?
Adjusting to a new “normal”
My days used to be pretty predictable. As much as I dislike monotony, I must admit our house had a consistent rhythm. My time possessed a routine. Of course, these were the normal days.
I would wake and get the family ready for the day with showers and clothes and breakfast. We would enjoy a leisurely morning of the kids playing nicely together and me getting some writing done. I’d work on a few projects, book reviews, blog posts … check my favorite blogs. I’d update facebook and twitter and maybe look for a new craft or recipe to try. The afternoons were equally delightful errands, household chores and trips to the zoo or parks.
Life has changed.
My husband, who typically stalks me on facebook and twitter, complains each night that he no longer knows what’s going on in our house while he’s away! I have been online very little lately. I haven’t blogged in two weeks. I am adjusting to a new normal.
I am tempted to say this new routine (or lack thereof) is just the house stuff and soon it will all settle back to what it used to be. But I’ve been saying that for six months now. “Oh, when we get past this milestone, things will calm down.” And then something else happens to stir our anticipated calm. We raise hope for a respite from activity just in time for the next milestone to remind us our “normal” has changed.
Gone are the days of calm routine. Single-tasking is a thing of the past. Drama abounds and I am finding a weird sort of serenity in that consistent unpredictability. This is my life now.
Our latest drama: My mom graciously drove more than 700 miles from her home to ours to help us unpack and fix up the house. What was meant to be just a few days will soon be three weeks. She was here less than 24 hours before we had to take her to the ER with stroke symptoms. Her “vacation” has included four nights in the hospital, seven new medications (including a weekly injection), lots of naps and a whole new diet. She’s adjusting to a new normal, too.
Add that my mom is now living with us to the list of recent adjustments.
This was not the best year for me to host a Read with Me challenge.
Maybe the point of all this was simply so that I could encourage some of you to do it. My mother-in-law, who is doing this with us, is so excited about it! She’s already planning to do it again next year. Rick, who doesn’t want to admit he’s part of this nearly all-girl challenge, reads almost an entire book a day. It’s fabulous! He’s loving it. I’m loving seeing him love it. I’m sure there are more of you with testimonies of great encouragement.
But as for me, I’m getting nowhere fast.
Let’s see … I am in Romans 1 (the beginning of March), Joshua 10 (beginning of April), and Psalm 59 (the middle of March). I can admit I’ve skipped ahead and read through Esther already and I am at least in the right month for the Gospels. I’m up to John 10. All told, I’m a combined 14 months behind. I may finish this challenge before I turn forty, but that may be pushing it. At this rate I’ll need more than six years.
I don’t want this, my first post in two weeks, to seem negative. That is not at all my intention. I’m not upset about this new “normal.” It just is what it is. The redemptive truth is that no matter how my life changes, God never does. He is always the same, eternally faithful, good god He has always been. He is my God and He is awesome.
So how are you doing?
My Tale of Real Estate: (Hopefully) Nearing a Conclusion
Now sit right back and you’ll read a tale,
A tale of real estate.
I’ve never seen Gilligan’s Island,
but think the theme song’s great!
Okay, now that THAT tune is firmly planted in your subconscious, I will confess the truth. Much to the dismay of my uber-fan brother-in-law, I’ve never seen a complete episode of Gilligan’s Island. I did, however, play Mary Ann as a camp counselor. You know those fun little start-of-the-day skits the counselors do to embarrass themselves entertain and teach the kids? Yup. I can’t remember if Gilligan’s Island was the theme for that week or what. Regardless, I was an adorable Mary Ann while my then-boyfriend played the gorilla. It was fun. I wish I had pictures of that …
Has anyone noticed my ADD this morning? I think it’s in high gear. What is this post supposed to be about? Oh, right! An update on our house situation!
Let’s see … we started this in April – right? Our house was on the market for three weeks when we got an offer. After some negotiations, we came under contract. Just hours after that, our buyer left the country — for two weeks. Unfortunately, just days after she returned, her mother passed away. Then she became very ill. All this left us in a torturous state of uncertainty. Her home inspection was postponed three times. Every deadline was missed or moved. Inspection issues were excessive and argued to the point of absurdity. All the while, we were under contract for our new house in a precarious state of contingency. Our new mortgage was secured and daily moving toward its expiration, while our buyer had yet to start her mortgage process.
Each week that passed reminded us that we are in control of nothing. Fortunately, we know the ONE who is in control of everything! One moment everything was great, the next everything was falling apart. We went from having no sale to having a sale and a purchase and an unexpected tax refund to having two houses to having none. On more than one occasion my husband believed we would be homeless before the end of the summer. It seemed details consistently built up beautifully only to be knock-down seconds later.
Long story short, we had to surrender our new home and take a firm stand with our sale contract. (Read: an ultimatum.) We were fully prepared to re-list our house and find a rental, if necessary. Convinced of God and His power, we found peace and a rather bizarre state of fearlessness. That’s when everything fell into place. The owners gave us an extension on our contingency. The buyer moved into action. Even the mortgage companies came together. Our inspections (yes, plural — I think we’ve had a total of six on our sale and one on our purchase.) passed as well.
So where are we now? Philadelphia. Well, not exactly, but kind of. The dates work out so that we actually are homeless for a while, but that’s okay. We’re staying with family and counting the days. Eleven. In eleven days we should have the keys to our new home. In eleven days we should be done with all this hub-bub. In eleven days I can breathe a sigh of relief as I acknowledge none of this has been in vain.
But I’ll not wait eleven days to praise God. He has been — as He always is — immeasurably faithful through this whole process. He has brought us to deeper understandings of His Scriptures, to a closer relationship with Him and each other, to a closer walk with Him. He has orchestrated details and made Himself seen by those who do not yet believe in Him. Our agents, even our attorney, said they’ve never dealt with such a crazy case of real estate. Now they have seen that chaos evolve into order, all while hearing us proclaim His sovereignty and rest in His grace.
God is so good. In the face of all we’ve endured, the heartaches, the uncertainty, the disappointments and the triumphs, I will CHOOSE to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord!”
That’s my tale.
Chaos, meet Stress. Now multiply.
God is good, always and forever. Of this I have no doubt. I know fully that He is in control, and I praise Him hourly for that truth. But even living in the knowledge of that truth, life can be chaotic. Oh. My. I don’t want to focus on the insanity of my week and the weeks to come, but I do want to give you a quick update — and explanation of my absence.
I also want to ask for some help.
Update first. Within the past week, my emotions have run the gamut of extreme discouragement to unbelievable high and utter exhaustion. We eliminated several options from our list of potential new homes, started to fall in love with our current house again and then found a house that we LOVE only to discover we may not be able to have it.
The house is PERFECT. Beyond perfect. And on the lower end of our range, so we’re thrilled with that, but they’re not accepting any contingent offers and (needless to say) we’ve not yet sold our house yet, so we can’t make an offer yet. On top of that, they’ve already received two offers, but haven’t accepted either yet. But that’s not what worries me. We discovered that the family is selling because of divorce. This thoroughly breaks my heart. I’ve actually spent more time this weekend praying for their marriage than I have praying that we would get the house. In all honesty, I would rather have their family restored and we live in a dumpy place, than to see another family (whose bookcases were lined with Bibles) torn apart. Three kids … Oh, it just saddens me so!
Saturday morning we cleaned like mad for a house showing. (Remember the possible for-sale-by-owner family?) The minute they left, we got to work deconstructing our first floor. You see, our hardwood needs to be refinished before we list. In order for them to refinish the floors (on Wednesday) we need to have everything out of there: all the furniture, draperies, nicknacks, books … EVERYTHING from the living room, master bedroom and dining room. It has all been tucked Tetris-style into our kitchen, basement and garage. Rick and I have taken Ellie’s room hostage while the kids fight over who gets to sleep on the floor in Zach’s room. (I’m really not sure why we bought him a bed. They both would rather camp out on air mattresses!) After we moved all the furniture, we then stripped the carpet from the bedroom. (PRAISE GOD the hardwood underneath is in good condition!!) We visited two more houses then drove down to Philadelphia to pick up the kids. (My mother-in-law, being the amazing woman that she is, kept the kids for the night so we could work quickly without pinching fingers, toes or hearts.)
Today is Monday and I am wiped out.
Here is where I need your help.
- Pray for me. And my husband and our marriage and our kids and all of that. I told Rick this weekend that I’m so grateful for him and the strength of our marriage because stuff like this seeps into the tiniest cracks and can create massive damage. I don’t want any cracks. So far we’re doing great, but the Enemy loves us to boast about things like that. He sees it as opportunity. So, yes, I covet your prayers.
- Be patient with the blog. I have so much to say, but very little time to write these days! I promise to post when I can, but I offer no guarantee of regularity in the next couple weeks.
- Read with Me girls: Anyone want to take a Friday Check-in post?? I would love to spread this out, at least for the next couple weeks. I’m still reading — in fact, I’m almost caught up in the New Testament! — but I’ve not been able to post our regular check-ins on Friday mornings. Can you take a week for me? Let me know when and I’ll post a schedule so people know where to go. I don’t want our group to fall apart. We’ve come far together and we’ll only complete it if we stay together!
That’s all I have time for right now. Like I said, I have much more to say and I hope to share it with you all soon. Is it weird to say I miss people who live in my computer? Is it too late to worry about how weird you think I am?
Have a nice day.
