Category Archives: sanctification

Victim or Vixen (Part 5): Righteousness Found?

Welcome to Part 5 of the series! Is anyone else impressed that I can talk about the same thing for this long? :) If you missed previous post in this series, click here to get the first four parts.

Yesterday’s post discussed God’s judgment on David and, by extension, Bathsheba. Yes, they were punished, but they were also forgiven. In a good story tale book or epic chick flick, the characters would respond by rejoicing in their new lives. They would be new people, never recanting their past mistakes, always choosing the right from here on out.

But this Book wasn’t written by humans. The perfect endings we often create don’t always imitate life, and life rarely imitates our fantasies.

Of course David must face his punishment of insurrection to his throne, uprisings and betrayal, but he also was esteemed to write most the poetry we now find in the book of Psalms. (Some of the Psalms were written by others; some written by David before his encounter with Uriah’s wife.) Bathsheba, however, doesn’t get much good written about her. Even after the acts that made her infamous — the adultery, the murder of Uriah, the visit from the prophet Nathan, the death of the child — even after all this, after her subsequent children are grown, Bathsheba is still found on the wrong side of things. She has become friends with Nathan, the prophet, which is good, but she still lacks judgement.

The drama continues and Bathsheba continues to be involved. Adonijah, David’s son by his wife Haggith, tries to claim the throne even before David’s death. He has no right to do this; he just decides he wants to be king and so he collects some supporters and army commanders and declares himself to be the sovereign ruler. Thanks to Nathan’s urging, Bathsheba takes the news to David who then anoints her son Solomon as king. Adonijah is quickly defeated. Almost immediately he asks Bathsheba to petition Solomon on his behalf, and she agrees. Adonijah wants David’s concubine, a virgin named Abishag. Perhaps Bathsheba was just naive, perhaps a little too trusting, but c’mon! She has lived in the palace for how many years and yet she still thinks this is an innocent request? Surely she knew that giving a woman belonging to the king to another would grant superiority to the recipient. I mean, virgins were pretty valuable property. Especially one that had belonged to King David! And yet our girl Bathsheba acquiesces. She aligns herself with others opposing God’s will and God’s chosen ruler. The scene begins with Bathsheba being honored by the king and ends with King Solomon humiliated and angry, Bathsheba embarrassed and Adonijah executed. Oh, and a number of Adonijah’s supporters flee the country, those who do not who do not immediately meet fates identical to their leader’s.

Did she find righteousness? I would like to believe that since she did have four more sons (after the sacrificial firstborn) by David, that the two found restoration for their relationship. I mean, the king had several wives and concubines. He could have called on any of them, but he chose to be with Bathsheba enough for her to bear him several more children. Also, if he found a renewed right relationship with God, I have to believe God convicted him to right things with Bathsheba as well. David chose one of her sons to be his royal heir. Solomon, whom she raised to succeed her husband’s throne, became widely known as the wisest man to ever live. She became friends with the prophet Nathan; one of her sons was even named after him. All of this is good, signals of a life turned toward godliness. But she wasn’t perfect.

mlle. lierre left a great comment on yesterday’s post. After our discussion about the “big idea,” she wrote this: “The idea that God can employ anyone for his glory, even those who have engaged in a sinning spree, is … a true idea, and an applicable idea, but it’s not really the point of David and Bathsheba’s story. Instead, I think it really belongs to someone else’s story—Jesus’ story.” She’s absolutely right! The fact that these sinful people eventually became ancestors of the Messiah has nothing to do with them. It’s a wonderful blessing to them, but not one that they saw in their lifetimes. Nor one that could have been recognized until hundreds of years after they died. The comment continued: “Every story in the Bible is connected to Jesus in some way, of course. What I wonder is what the individual themes of each subplot are. What could David and Bathsheba’s story have taught those who heard it before Jesus arrived?” (Be sure to click over there to read her insightful comment in its entirety.)

I’m always reading several books at one time. It is amazing how often these seemingly random texts intertwine in subject. For example, right now I’m reading a Christian living/doctrine book by Larry Osborne, a contemporary novel by Karen Kingsbury, a Biblical/subjective novel by Francine Rivers, and (of course) a number of books about Bathsheba and other women in the lineage of Christ. All of these have contributed to the understanding of the others. The Rivers book is about Mary, the mother of Jesus, yet it has shed great light on my understanding and interpretations of Bathsheba. The Kingsbury book involves adultery, murder and forgiveness, so obviously common ground exists there as well. The most interesting intersection, though, comes from a chapter in Osborne’s book: 10 Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe. (I know the title is offensive, but just go with me here.) One chapter, the one I reference here, debunks the myth that forgiving means forgetting.

Did Bathsheba find righteousness? We know she was forgiven, but does righteousness come as an automatic result? After masticating on both mlle. lierre’s comment and Osborne’s chapter, I’ve been forced to re-evaluate my perspectives, specifically those on forgiveness. Do my ideas about forgiveness match those of God? Are our views in agreement? Or am I embracing a spiritual myth?

Let me quote a small section from Osborne’s book.

“When it comes to forgiveness, there are two realms: the spiritual and eternal arena and the earthly and temporal arena. God’s forgiveness shows up a little differently in each one.

In the spiritual and eternal realm, forgiveness wipes the slate clean. While God doesn’t forget what we’ve done, He treats us as if it never happened. Spiritual and eternal consequences are completely removed. Judicially, our record is cleared.

But on the earthly level, things are different. God’s forgiveness seldom if ever removes all the consequences or restores all that we’ve broken. Instead, it offers a second chance.”

David and Bathsheba’s story clearly illustrates this. They were given weighty physical consequences on earth, but they were given forgiveness from the spiritual consequences in eternity. God cleared their slates, but He didn’t forget. He used this experience to train them toward righteousness on earth while granting them righteousness in Heaven. It’s the same for us today. When we accept Christ’s forgiveness, we are made new, but that doesn’t mean we never again sin. Our spiritual consequences are removed, but the earthly repercussions of our sin still exist.

Bathsheba may have been a victim or a vixen. If she was anything like me, she was probably a bit of both. The good news is that God’s forgiveness, His restoring power, is the same yesterday, today and forever. He can forgive the vixens. He can restore the victims. He can use both for His glory, continually training the willing hearts toward righteousness.

Mama Loves …

mama_loves_buttonToday is Tuesday which means Mama Loves. This weekly exercise based on Philippians 4:8-9 started as an effort to see the positive side of parenting, even in the midst of weariness. Oh, you know I love my kids, but there are days when I try to remember what life was like before them. Over time this feature morphed into a declaration of praise over whatever God did for me that week. It has been many things: sobering, joyful, encouraging, affirming. This was a great week, but I didn’t ha

I spent the weekend painting. Well, Saturday anyway. Somehow (probably by my own admission) someone at church discovered I went to art school (a long time ago). This nominated me as the go-to-girl for any major art projects, specifically the highway signs. Our church owns 22 acres on the highway. The only way on or off campus is by the highway. We make a lot of highway signs. Each year I paint a giant piece of plywood with the logo of that year’s VBS program. This year they upped the ante by tossing in a couple extra signs for use in the Memorial Day parade. That was this weekend. That means I had to have the signs done before Monday’s celebration. No problem. A simple investment of five hours on Saturday produced this (three almost identical signs: one 4′ x 7′ and two 2′ x 3′)

IMG_3796

And this.

sunburn

I’m not opposed to sunlotion. Really! It was a cool day and I never burn. In fact, this is my first sunburn in over six years. The last one was BC (Before Children) in St. Lucia.

Mama does not love sunburns. I’m not even really fond of painting highway signs, but I’m glad I did it. I’ll be happy to do it again next year. Why?

When I was younger, when I first became a Christian at the age of fifteen, I needed to be involved in everything. I needed people to see me and my ministries. I needed people to acknowledge that I was doing something good, that I was growing and bringing glory to God. I was in drama, choir, mime, evangelism, sign language, teaching, VBS — you name it! I was in front.

As I matured in my faith and in my relationship with Christ, I learned to step back. It was difficult at first because the front was where I garnered my value and confidence. Being less seen seemed like a step backwards. But in stepping back (not in maturity or sincerity, but out of the spotlight), I offered others the opportunity to use their gifts more. I also learned the value of being a foot. The Apostle Paul wrote about the parts of the body of Christ, the church. We each have different gifts, but we are all valuable. We are all important! The ears are just as important than the eyes; the feet are needed just as much as the hands. In my immaturity, I placed greater significance on certain ministries and shamefully looked down on others.

I love feeling comfortable enough in my God and my gifts to go unseen.

Mama Loves: Reflective Clones

mama_loves_buttonEvery Tuesday I post a “Mama Loves” based on Philippians 4:8-9. The Message paraphrases those verses like this:

“I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

Focusing on the positive, as this verse urges us to do, doesn’t mean life is rosy. It doesn’t mean our lives are void of negative things or that we’re so surrounded by wonderful things that we can’t help but rejoice. No. The writer would not exhort readers to think positively if they were already doing it. He would not spend so much time encouraging them in this direction if it were easy. He challenges us to focus on the best even when faced with the worst. Sometimes, as I often write about on this blog, these true, noble, authentic thoughts are sobering. Sometimes these positive thoughts smack us in the face like a splash of icy water.

Mama loves reflective clones.

This weekend I lost my cool with Ellie. I love that girl more than anything, but sometimes she drives me crazy! A precocious know-it-all, she never runs out of energy and never stops talking. She always has a “better” idea, constantly corrects those around her (whether necessary or not), and is completely undisciplined when it comes to jobs she doesn’t thoroughly enjoy. She won’t give up until she gets her way. She’s melodramatic. She acts dumb in an attempt to charm people and shy when I know she’s not. She allows fear to paralyze her.

She’s my clone.

As I lay in bed still fuming over the day’s interactions, I thanked God for showing me me. How often do I argue with God when I know He’s right? How many times have I tried to remind Him of things I know He could never forget? I pout when I don’t get my way. I think I know everything and verbally prove otherwise on a regular basis. I’m lazy, selfish, bossy, arrogantly persistent and blow things way out of proportion. And yet in spite of all this, or maybe because of all this, God loves me. He loves me unconditionally the same way I love Ellie. She may drive me crazy, but I love her so much it hurts. She’s mine and I am His. 

I thank God for His love for me, but I also thank Him for my reflective clone. Without her how would I see the dangers of my annoying characteristics? How would I recognize my flaws and move toward correcting them in both her and me? Without God giving me someone just like me, how would I be sanctified? Oh, there are ways, I’m sure, but this was a pretty creative solution. Annoying – yes. But wonderfully creative. And effective. I love it.

Friends or not

I watched two neighbor girls, ages seven and eight, swat each other’s behinds while running across my front yard. One of them tried to explain: “That’s what best friends do. You’ll understand when Ellie is older.” 

I saw my daughter stare at them with obvious envy. She wants to be in their little clique. Meanwhile my insides silently scream in protest. 

It’s not that they’re bad kids. It’s not that I don’t want Ellie to have friends. It’s that I want to be her best friend.

Okay, so maybe I’m selfish and naive and a little sadistic, but I want to be the one Ellie longs to be with. I want to be the one that she learns from and strives to imitate. I want to be the one from whom she seeks approval and gains her self image. Friends, without exception, influence each other. I want to be the only one who influences my girl.

I know it won’t happen. I know she’ll grow and make many friends throughout her life, including these most impressionable years. I know very few kids really want to hang out with their moms, and never all the time. (However, I will say I rank pretty high on the “cool factor” so far. All the kids want to hang out with me! At least I’m convinced of such for now.)

I also know this is how God feels about me. He wants to be my best friend, my hero, my idol. He wants to be the One I long to be with, to be like and to please. Am I chasing after His likeness and His approval? Or am I following others? Am I allowing my self image to be formed by those who hardly know me? Who do I imitate?

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”- Ephesians 5:1-2 (NASB)

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”- James 4:8a (NASB)

Oh, Lord, plant in me a craving for You. I want to desire You more than anything else. Make me insatiable for your Word. May I never tire of seeking after You. Forgive me for chasing those things that only make me less like You. I long to be exactly who You made me to be: a unique reflection of You. Lord God, hear my prayer.

In Pursuit of P31 (and a giveaway!)

At the end of this post I’ll tell you about a huge, fabulous giveaway, but first I want to tell you about a new book.

A ton of books have been published about the Proverbs 31 woman. There’s even a whole magazine (probably more!) devoted to becoming more like her. Award-winning author Kathi Macias recently released a new one, one quite different from all the rest.

tight-shipHow Can I Run a Tight Ship When I’m Surrounded by Loose Cannons?

How’s that for a title? Do you ever wonder this? I know I do! I get all my ducks in a row only to have them waddle off on their own.

This book takes a humorous look at the author’s pursuit of the Proverbs 31 woman. When she met Jesus, the author, a self-proclaimed control freak, immediately set out in search of a P31 mentor who could show her how to be a perfect Christian and run the perfect Christian home. Chapter by chapter readers watch her crash and burn as she tries to be everything to everyone and all in her own strength. The good news: she learns from her experiences. The better news: she shares what she learns with us. Read the rest of this entry

DUFF Theory

I’ve been told all men carry a DUFF Theory. (Simpsons fans: Forget about Duffman and excessive drinking by rotund, bald men. Yes, I watch the show. No, this post has nothing to do with it.)

The DUFF Theory goes something like this. All female groups of friends contain at least one DUFF: a Designated Ugly Fat Friend. This DUFF is necessary for maintaining positive self-esteem for the skinny, beautiful members of the clique while still making them feel “nice” because they’re friends with someone less desireable than themselves. The DUFF also serves as a chaperone when necessary and a test for future boyfriends. (Remember the Spice Girls? If you wanna get with me, you gotta get with my friends.)

Okay. I don’t think this theory is true, but a number of male friends assure me it is absolute law, carved in stone, never known not to exist. Regardless of its validity, the DUFF theory has been on my mind lately. Not in regards to friends (like whose DUFF am I?) or physical attraction, but rather about spiritual and intellectual growth.

Isn’t it nice to feel like the smartest person in the room? Or the most faithful? Nobody wants to be the spiritual infant of the group. We all want to feel good about ourselves, like we have something extraordinary to contribute. How do we accomplish this? I think there are two ways: become the best (smartest, most spiritual, most compassionate, etc.) or move to another (dumber) room. Read the rest of this entry

Hairy Races

Fine hair runs in my family. My husband’s family is blessed with gorgeous, shiny thick hair. My brothers have beautifully thick curls. My mother, grandmother and I (and doubtless generations of disappointed women before us) suffer with stick-straight, floss-fine hair. My poor granny also boasted white hair since birth and a receeding hairline that has made us all worry about drive-in movie theatre foreheads. 

Ellie’s hair, unfortunately, comes from my side. The girl has gorgeous color and curls to die for, but it’s fine. I don’t mean thin. She has a lot of hair; it’s just fine. If you’re not afflicted with such you may not understand the trouble this causes. It tangles horrendously and can take hours to comb through.

In college I drove with a friend, windows down. I subtly collected all my hair into my hand and held tightly. She didn’t understand and told me to let go. We weren’t going that far and my hair would be fine. We arrived at our destination twenty minutes later, her hair still beautiful and perfectly neat. Mine, however, had been replaced by a huge nest made from straw by a schizophrenic bird. This is the future to which my genes have doomed our daughter. Add this to her curls and every bath day invites torture and lament.

Combing her hair is painful for both of us. Removing the messes takes patience, gentleness, diligence and usually some help – like a life-saving leave-in conditioner.

Sometimes it’s easier to ignore the tangles. Rather than suffer through her crying and my impatience, I’d prefer to pop it all up in a ponytail and forget it. But the tangles always grow. Left untended, they get worse.

Sometimes it’s tempting to only remove some of the rats, the bigger ones, and let the smaller ones wait for another day. I mean, isn’t forty minutes of combing enough? If it’s not done in that timeframe, then maybe it really doesn’t need to be done. If the top layers look nice, the rest can wait – right? I admit: sometimes I give in to this temptation, but come next bath day, I have to answer for my haste with greater diligence.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because the messes in our lives are the same. We may be tempted to let them be, ignore them or just save the conflict for another day. But we need to deal with our problems. Yes, it takes work and will likely involve pain, but the alternative will cause more pain. We need to remove the sin from our lives, no matter how big or small. I’m not saying all of our tangles are related to sin, but if it is, then we need to root it out. If it’s not, we still need to deal with it if we want to continue to grow in our faith and be used by God to our greatest potential.

There is good news! Just as I would never tackle Ellie’s hair without help, we cannot tackle our problems alone either. To do so is futile, setting ourselves up for failure. Praise God we have life-saving help! No leave-in conditioner, but rather we have a pool or resources. Prayer. Faithful friends. Encouraging Scripture. God-fearing teachers and leaders. Accountability. Best of all: the Holy Spirit on our side who knows our weaknesses. When we remove the tangles that encumber us, we can run faithfully the race laid out before us. We can be champions!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
- Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)

A Prayer for the Journey

My friend Kellie sent this to me this week. I immediately copied it to a notecard to be hung in my kitchen, but the card never made it there. Instead I’ve carried it with me. Each and every day since I’ve encountered someone who needed to hear it. I pray it will encourage each of you as well.

O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
but give me powers equal to my tasks,
for I want to be stretched by things too great for me.
I want to grow through the greatness of my task,
but I shall need your help for the growing.

~E. Stanley Jones

Sunday Morning Leftovers: More of You

Spaghettipie regularly offers Sunday Morning Leftovers. These posts, usually done on Monday mornings, reiterate something from Sunday’s worship that stuck around for further meditation. Sometimes just one phrase the pastor says or one verse read can linger in your consciousness refusing to be neglected. You let it percolate until another, newer morsel of God’s truth demands attention. This is my bit for this week.

“It’s never a matter of getting more of the Spirit; it’s about giving more of ourselves to Him.”

I’ll never understand God, at least not this side of eternity. As hard as I try and as much as I study, He is and always will be a wonderous mystery to me. This week our pastor spoke about the Holy Spirit. He said this (what I quoted above) while talking about how the Holy Spirit dwells in believers. He lives in us, so we can’t get away from Him. But how much reign do we allow Him? Does He have access Read the rest of this entry

Beyond Expiration

This week I cleaned out the fridge. Oh, yes, that all-time favorite of activities. I couldn’t put it off any longer. We had been gone since before Christmas, and I needed some place to put the new groceries I bought that morning. Normally I do this horrendous task before going on vacation. That way I come home to sparkling shelves and less work. But a snowstorm blew in and forced us to leave earlier than planned. So this week I tackled a job that should have been tackled weeks ago.

Guess what I found. I found that I actually should have tackled it months ago. Apparently I’ve been spot-cleaning the fridge rather than doing a full-blown clean sweep. I found chocolate soy milk that expired in August. I found salad dressing that expired January of last year and some goat cheese that could rival a seventh grade science project.

You see, we don’t normally consume those items. They’re once in a while groceries purchase for special recipes or a rare treat. For months they rested peacefully next to the Mango Curry Marinade we tried last summer, agreed we didn’t like, but still kept in the fridge in case we changed our minds.

As I removed these expired foods and scrubbed the sticky messes they left behind, I thought about other areas of life untended. What parts of my heart have been ignored long enough that they’ve festered into a nasty, gooey scene in need of some cleaning? This could apply to sins, but also to good things left untouched. What sins am I preserving while rationalizing their existence in my heart? Are there gifts I’ve ignored? Talents I’ve allowed to sit idle until they’re no longer useful? Have God-given opportunities expired?

Oh, Lord, search me! Show me what I need to see that I may clean out the recesses of my heart. I want to please You. I want to shine for You. I want to use all of me for Your glory that I may taste the blessings You have in store for those who love You.

“But blessed is the man who trusts me, God,
the woman who sticks with God.
They’re like trees replanted in Eden,
putting down roots near the rivers—
Never a worry through the hottest of summers,
never dropping a leaf,
Serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season.

“The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be.”
– Jeremiah 17:7-10

(The Message)

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