Category Archives: obedience
Not writing; not in a coma
James Watkins said, in Writers on Writing, “Unless you’re on life-support, you can write.” He, after double-hernia surgery, completed a book project “with two ice packs down [his] pants.” Well, I’m happy for him and I appreciate his point, but … well, he’s wrong. Okay, at least not completely right.
I have been sick for the last two days. The cool thing is I actually completed more writing since becoming sick than I had in the entire two weeks previous. (Chalk up a point for the Mr. Watkins.) However, I accomplished that only because I can’t do anything else. My head pounds if I stand up. There’s nothing on tv during the day. My amazing husband has removed all distractions, otherwise known as Isabel, Zach, laundry and dishes. (Thank you, Rick!!) So, yes, I’ve gotten something done, but is it any good?
No strength in numbers (Little Laws, Part 2)
Five different law firms have contacted me regarding my “legal difficulties”, my “pending charges”, my “summons” which may lead to “serious penalties … and possible incarceration.” I feel like such a criminal. (Please hear the hint of sarcasm in that statement.) I mean, c’mon! It’s a traffic ticket!
I’ve posted the documentation on our fridge for all to see. It’s my first ticket. I’m proud. Okay, proud is not the word for it. Perhaps “denial” is better. Rick asked me what I planned to do with it. I relayed the instructions the officer gave me. Plead not guilty, then talk to the prosecutor who would grant me grace based on my flawless record. This prevents a fine, raised insurance rates, points on my license and a permanent mark on my record. All I have to do is show up in court. Rick gave me one of his looks, the one that makes me feel as clever as saran wrap and equally transparent. “But you’re guilty.”
“Yeah, I know, but he said –” 
“You’re guilty. Pay the fine.”
We’re all guilty of something. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or it’s little; we’re still guilty. Being guilty is not the problem. Trying to convince ourselves and everyone else we’re not guilty is the problem. We look for loop-holes. We seek to find a way around the consequences. I know I’m guilty. I admit it freely. Hey – I’ve announced it to the world on this website! In spite of my admission, I still want to avoid punishment.
No matter what the offense, we can find many who are eager to help us with our self-denial. These five letters represent more than fifteen attorneys eager to help me look innocent. I’ve been told how easy it is to just “get out of it,” with little or no thought to truth. Everybody does it. It’s not a big deal. I’d be saving myself money! I was convinced. Only one person looked me in the eye and made me face the truth.
Now, I did something wrong and found many who would help me continue to be wrong. This disproportionate support can also exist when we do something right.
I’m currently reading Hearing God’s Voice by Henry and Richard Blackaby. They tell a story of a man who, when he was a teen, felt called to missions. He went on to medical school where he was so successful, he was offered a prestigious position in research after graduation. His friends and family all saw this as God’s blessing. Meanwhile, this young man wasn’t sure. He still felt drawn to missions, but because of the encouragement of all his loved ones, he took the job. Years later, married, with children and settled in a comfortable life, he still wondered about that calling on his life. Had he made the right decision?
Sometimes we’re going down the wrong road. We’ve made mistakes and we need to correct our steps. Sometimes we’re on the right road, but we get distracted by what we see down side streets. In either situation, we will be surrounded by people who want to help us, whether they know what’s right or not. Numbers are irrelevant. God’s ways do not work by “majority rules.” God rules. He’s the only One that matters and that’s all we need to know. Our paths need only follow His. The throng of voices is silenced in the wake of His still, small whisper. So, listen for His voice. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Saturate yourself with His Word and then just listen to be sure you’re walking in truth.
The funny thing is when we walk in truth, those herds of people shouting directions stop and watch. I’m always amazed at people’s reactions when I do something right, but rare — like returning to pay for clothes that were in my bag, but not listed on my receipt or correcting cashiers when they give me too much change. They’re shocked! In this world, people don’t often see the Truth in action. They’ll watch and they’ll respect when they see it. So, go ahead — give ‘em a show.
Even in the little laws
“We know that everything in the Law was written for those who are under its power. The Law says these things to stop anyone from making excuses and to let God show that the whole world is guilty. God doesn’t accept people simply because they obey the Law. No, indeed! All the Law does is to point out our sin.” – Romans 3:19-20 (CEV)
Romans is my favorite book of the Bible. Set aside the exquisite writing, it quiets every argument against grace. Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to be God. We want to prove we’re excellent enough to set the rules. Even when faced with God’s rules, we try to convince ourselves and everyone around us that we meet the standards without exception. We claim to do everything right, but we never do. None of us is perfect. None of us truly meets God’s standard of righteousness. To prove this, God gave us the Law. If you’re Jewish, you know what that means. If you’re a Gentile like me, you may understand something about the Law, but you have no idea of the weight of the law. That is, unless you’ve actually read through Leviticus and Deuteronomy and tried to live by the 614 regulations stated there. The Law was given to humanity not to offer a path to salvation, but to highlight our need for grace. Even the “little” laws do this.
I got a ticket today. I’ve been driving for sixteen years and have only been pulled over twice.
The first time was the day before my wedding. I was so giddy about becoming Mrs. Richard P. Dennis that the officer let me go with well wishes for our nuptials. Our wedding memories included over three feet of snow, a fire, lost contacts, cancelled flights and a bunch of relatives trapped in a hotel with nothing more than frozen dinners and a microwave. And, of course, my almost speeding ticket. I loved that day!
The second time was today. I wasn’t giddy today. We were driving to the mall for a price adjustment. A certain sale is offering the school clothes I bought three weeks ago for Isabel at one-third the price I paid. I was already frustrated at the need for the trip and my impatience to wait for a sale in the first place. Then, in the car, Isabel started arguing with me over something, I don’t remember what. I missed my turn and was forced to take the longer route. I continued barking at Isabel then saw the police officer step into the street in front of me. It was then I looked at the speed: 50 mph in a 35 mph zone. It gets worse. I couldn’t find our proof of insurance. I found four insurance cards in the glove box, but none of them were the right one and all were expired. Fortunately, the officer was merciful. Yes, I got a ticket. I actually have a court date and a point on my license, but he didn’t impound the car. That’s good – right? He waved to the kids and told me since I had them with me – well, if I hadn’t had them with me, he would have impounded the car immediately.
I spent the rest of the drive and our entire time at the mall blaming everyone but myself. If Isabel hadn’t been so argumentative, I would have been more focused on my driving. If the store didn’t have such high prices, I wouldn’t need an adjustment and we wouldn’t have been on the road in the first place. Why is the speed limit thirty-five there anyway? It’s clearly a nonresidential road and so the limit should be higher! I’ve never seen any kids around there. And where is my insurance card?! I blamed the city, the other drivers (who prevented me from making my turn), Isabel, Rick (poor guy wasn’t even in the same county), and just about everyone. Everyone but me. But none of them were at fault. I was speeding. I am to blame.
The Law is not intended to prove how good we are. Its purpose is to prove how good we are not. This was just the speed limit, but the implications are vast. This one little law, when broken, shed light on so many of my imperfections: my pride, arrogance, slanderous thoughts, impatience, unloving attitudes, disrespect for authority … I am in desperate need of God’s grace! Praise God for the Law!! Without it, I would think I was doing pretty well. With it, my shortcomings are unmistakable. My only way out is through repentance.
Praise God for His goodness! May it always be more obvious than my faults.
Photo by Elvis Santana, used with permission. yotophoto.com
I’m a writer.
This morning I sat in the dentist’s chair waiting for the Novocain to take effect. The cute little hygienist felt like talking. “So, what do you do?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I responded: “I’m a writer.” There was no intimidation or embarrassment, no fear, just a solid answer.
My confidence startled me. I’ve never said that before! I have been a published author for nine months and have never told anyone I’m a writer. Usually my what-do-you-do answer is all about the kids. “I’m a stay-at-home mom. I love scrapbooking!” Eventually, if the questioner keeps probing, I stammer a quick “I like to write when the kids are napping.” But today, I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t falter. It was clear and spoken: I am a writer.
I’ve hesitated in the past because of personal doubts. Am I any good? Is this really what I should be doing with my time? What is this person going to think if I claim to be something I’m not sure I am? Not any more. Let me tell you why.
Last week was the Blue Ridge Christian Writers Conference in North Carolina. I was fortunate to attend. It was an amazing experience! I highly recommend it to everyone who writes. If you want to write full-time, as a hobby, or if you’re not sure what you’re doing with your writing … it doesn’t matter. You’ve got to go. If not this conference, go to another one like it. In five short days my life as a writer was solidified. God used this week to affirm His call on me and my writing. I’m not intimidated anymore. I’m not scared or playing “catch-up”. I am right where God wants me — and sure of it! I was encouraged and challenged. It was an amazing experience.
So what is a writers conference? Well, it is many things. First and foremost, it is where people in publishing come together: writers, editors, agents, publishers, publicists. Everyone rubs shoulders, gathers in worship (at Christian conferences), shares meals and fellowship. Secondly, there are classes. The bigger the conference, the more classes there are available. This conference has around 400 people in attendance. Third, there are opportunities to meet one-on-one with people in the industry. As a writer, you can pitch ideas to them and see if they are interested in your projects. It’s a way of skipping the “slush” pile and getting tips on your work from the experts. Finally, it’s a break. It’s dedicated, undivided attention for your writing. You all know about my life. With two young kids, home, family and church responsibilities, I don’t get many days to focus on just my writing. My time and energies are deeply divided. Removing all those interruptions allowed me to hear that still, small Voice and know His purposes for my writing. It offered validity to this passion and confirmation of my calling.
Whether or not you’re a writer, doubts may plague you. You may wonder why you’re doing what your doing, if you should be doing it at all. You may wonder about your value. I can’t answer your doubts, but I know the One who can.
Take time to escape every day life. Close out all distractions until you can hear Him and know Him. When you find Him, go to where He is. Then you need not worry about anything else. It doesn’t matter if I’m a good writer or not, because being good is not my job. Obeying God and doing what He tells me to do, that’s my job. I want to do it to the very best of my ability, but the results are in His hands. It’s not my responsibility to get published or make people like me or my work. If that’s what God wants, He’ll take care of it. I just have to make sure I’m ready for whatever He is going to do. Ready and waiting, I’ll watch. It’s sure to be a great show! And the same is true for you. Be the best parent you can be. God will take care of the kids. Be the best administrative assistant you can. God will offer you favor in the eyes of your boss, if that’s what He wants. The results are not up to us — they’re up to God. All we need to do is obey.
So, you may be wondering what the results were of my conference. Well, they are the lesser of my concerns — My first priority is to stay in the center of God’s will — but I will tell you: two publishers have requested book proposals. I also received invitations to query a number of magazines with articles. It’s very exciting! I have no idea where this will go, but … God does.
Band-aids
A loud thud sounded above my head, louder than should be expected. The kids were playing in Isabel’s room. When I arrived both of them sat on her bed, big smiles across their faces. The bedside table was overturned and a lamp wedged between it and the wall. “What happened?”
Isabel spoke first. “Zach did it.” Zach was on the opposite side of the bed.
As I cleaned up the mess, they both moved closer. “I love you, Mommy!” Isabel’s voice dripped with sugar and manipulation.
Zach wiggled his little fingers on my back. “Tickle, tickle, tickle!”
Band-aids. They weren’t really sorry, but they knew they were in trouble, so they cover up the wrong with a nice coat of cute and sweet.
Have you ever done that? Of course. We all have! The human race excels at manipulation. With the right amount of effort and creativity, we can put a positive slant on just about anything. But God is not taken in by our tricks. He sees through our band-aids. He knows exactly what happened; what we’ve done. He doesn’t want sugar-coated flattery. He wants obedience, and when that is lacking, He wants confession. By trying to cover it up, make it look better, we are actually making the situation worse. We’ve injured ourselves with wrong-doing and instead of seeking help, we pile on infection.
The good news is we don’t have to heal our wrongs on our own. Our sins cause deep and fatal wounds, but Jesus Christ, by His death and resurrection, created the ultimate band-aid for us. It doesn’t just cover; it heals. It forgives. All it takes is confession. Easy as that. A soothing kiss from our Savior and all is better.
Let me encourage you. If you have an area of your life you’ve simply been trying to hide, confess it to the Lord. Only He can heal our manipulative hearts.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – John 1:9 (NIV)
Facing my fears
Well, I’ve done it. I am now registered for my very first writers conference. I’ve been researching and planning and talking about going for months. I’ve been putting it off under the veil of “praying about it” when in reality I was just scared. Now that I’m committed, I’m terrified.
Once again my hesitation is simply delayed obedience. But God is always faithful, isn’t He? He knows I’m intimidated. He knows I’m completely unqualified without Him. Therein lies the catch: I’ll never be without Him! He will not tell me to do something then leave me unequipped to complete it. He will be right by me guiding my steps, my words. He already knows the people I’ll meet and the ones I won’t. He has ordained it all. In that truth my fear must dissipate.
“Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)
So here I am. The clock is ticking down. I’ve got a lot of prep to do and eight weeks, three days, and twenty-three hours until my flight. No problem.
Hopitality Challenge Update
We are covered in snow and ice. This is not an excuse or a cop-out! But I did want to stay accountable regarding the hospitality post a few days ago. I’m postponing the challenge for a week just so we can dig out.
And how are you?? Have you stepped up to your no-grumbling challenge? Let me know!
Hospitality with a side of grumbling
Someone once said hospitality is sharing your company; entertaining is showing off. I want to be hospitable, but too often I am secretly entertaining. Instead of focusing on the fellowship, I long for everyone to revel in the food and praise me for my culinary skills. Instead of rejoicing in the friendship, I want my guests to delight in my home and the ways I’ve decorated it. None of this is being hospitable. I may appear to be a wonderful hostess, but deep down I suffer the cancer of pride. Or insecurities.
Pride is often coupled with insecurity. You want to be the best, but privately wonder what will happen if you’re not the best. Will your friends still like you? Will they become better friends with people better than you? Whatever the reason – be it pride or insecurity – it’s still not right. Everything I have, from my house to my cooking abilities, is a gift from God. None of it has anything to do with me. I haven’t earned any of it, so I have no right to boast about it. If praise is given, it belongs to God alone. And regarding insecurities, they’re not right either. God has made me exactly what I need to be, so feeling less than worthy in His presence shows a lack of faith in His love and forgiveness.
This morning our pastor spoke about 1 Peter 4. The chapter talks about living for God; it instructs believers to love one another and give generously. To me, one verse seemed bold-faced.
“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” – 1 Peter 4:9 (NIV)
It is easy to recognize obvious forms of grumbling. After they leave you may complain about something your guests did or said. You may mumble how no one helped clean up after dinner. Or you pout when your friends never invite you to their house. All of this is pretty obvious grumbling, but some kinds of grumbling are more disguised. This is where I found conviction this morning.
We don’t have a dinning room. We have an eat-in kitchen. It’s perfect for our small family of four, but any more than that and the space quickly becomes cramped. Hosting larger get-togethers required quite a home transformation. We have to take apart the table and move it into the basement. We then get the gateleg table and put the two together before finding enough chairs for everyone. It’s a hassle and I hate it.
So, what do I do? I refuse to invite people over. It’s horrible! I claim our house is too small and we don’t have enough room for company. This is my grumbling. True: our house is not ideal for entertaining. But God hasn’t called us to entertain. He has called us to be hospitable. My pride, which will not allow me to entertain in a basement, is leading me in disobedience.
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing.” – Philippians 2:14 (NAS)
In what ways are you quietly grumbling? Are you holding onto pride or insecurities that prevent you from truly obeying God?
Here is my challenge: this week I will invite someone over without making excuses for our lack of a dining room. What can you do to overcome your grumbling? Email me or leave a comment. We can keep each other accountable and then rejoice together at God’s faithfulness.
Burnt Ribs
Last night I had an undeniable craving for barbeque ribs. Normally, such gastrointestinal whims are ignored in favor of pleasing my husband. He’s not a huge fan of ribs, so typically I save them for meals he misses. Last night was one such meal. Rick had to work late, and I pulled out the ribs.
Do you make ribs often? If you do, you know aluminum foil is necessary to really do it right. We had none, but I was not giving up. “What can I substitute for aluminum foil? I need something to lock in the steam and create a nonstick surface …” Perhaps my hunger and craving combined to block logical thought processes. I’m not sure what happened, but for some reason, I decided wax paper would work, forgetting it was highly flammable. Within moments of putting it all in the oven, the smell of snuffed candles filled the house setting off the smoke alarm.
Details are important. Following instructions is important. If we miss one thing, no matter how small it seems at the time, the results could be disastrous. This was just food – far from a life or death situation. God’s Word, on the other hand, is the instruction manual that spells life or death. Every detail of it is important.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. “ – 2 Timothy 3:16 (NIV)
Just like in cooking, we cannot choose which of God’s instructions we like and which we don’t. We cannot choose which sections to obey and which we will ignore. “ALL Scripture is God-breathed and is useful …” Not just some of it. Not just the sections that make us feel good. ALL of it. When we follow the instructions completely, everything works great. When we don’t, we set off smoke alarms and get burnt ribs.
After a very trying morning, Isabel looked at me today and said: “Mommy, I don’t want to listen to you.”
I immediately got down to her eye level. “You don’t have a choice.”
There are certainly times I don’t want to listen to God. I want to choose which parts of His Scripture I will obey today. I want to decide for myself what passages apply to me and which ones are intended for others.
This, however, is not a choice for me or you to make. If we place our faith and trust in God, we must believe Him in everything; in every part of what He says. We don’t have a choice. It’s all or nothing. When it comes to salvation, all is definitely better than nothing.
The Shelter of the Most High
Isabel has memorized her very first verse!
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1” (NIV)
Ellie can quote the verse and the reference, but I’m not convinced she understands the meaning. I explained to her: when we trust in God, He protects us from our enemies. She struggles with nightmares; I wanted her to know God always protects us when we rest in Him. In trying to teach her the verse, I, too, had to repeat it over and over. We would say it during breakfast, lunch and dinner. God used this repetition to show me another layer of His protection.
While we were memorizing this verse, I was enduring a personal struggle. Someone I trusted implicitly and depended on for support criticized my performance in purpose and obedience to God. This person expressed great concern at my apparent failure. I was devastated. As I worked on this verse with our little one, I was silently praying for resolution, for wisdom, for peace. I knew I didn’t agree with the assessment made nor the solutions prescribed. I felt justified, but the attack still caused internal bleeding.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1”
There is more to it than just protection from your enemies. It is protection from your fears; protection from your friends; protection from your doubts.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1”
As long as you and I stand firm in our obedience to God, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. If we live in the shelter of the Most High, seeking Him always and striving to follow Him, then nothing else can touch us. We don’t need to worry what others may say or think. We are not subject to their judgments. We are resting in the shadow of the Almighty and He will defend us. He will protect us. In my mother’s words: “We are never safer than in the center of God’s hand.” It is in His shelter and His shadow that we find our confidence. It is there that we find our peace.
I am so glad Ellie has this gem of Truth pocketed. I am sure there will be many occassions to pull it out.
