Category Archives: encouragement
Without Ceasing
My daughter never stops talking. She wakes up talking. She goes to bed talking. She even talks in her sleep. Every moment in this house is spent to the soundtrack of a little girl’s monologue.
Rick is wonderful at shutting out unnecessary noise. I am not. He can choose what to hear. If something is not on his radar, he simply doesn’t hear it. It’s a talent I do not possess. He has often told me I need to be better at ignoring our children. Perhaps that would make my life less frustrating, but then I might miss much more, too.
Yesterday Rick was practicing his selective hearing, choosing only to listen to the Giants game and not much else. Meanwhile, Isabel was sitting in the bathroom creating another lovely Dennis home soundtrack. I was trying to read while Zach played at my feet. The girl never stopped talking. Rick didn’t hear a word. I heard her sing about going potty and baby Jesus and Christmas and the alphabet. I heard stories of Grandma’s house, snowmen, silly princesses and funny little brothers. Rick heard nothing but the game. Then, absentmindedly, I rolled a plastic bottle under my feet. The noise this made, a crinkly-crunch, drove Rick crazy. Now, why is it that this sound annoyed him while the drone of toddler talk streaming from the bathroom went unnoticed? His answer: “All I hear is ‘wah-wah wah wah-wah-wah.’” He had perfectly imitated Charlie Brown’s teacher. “Then ‘CRUNCH!’ I notice that.”
Not even two seconds later the bathroom voice called out: “Wah-wah wah wah-wah-wah!” She doesn’t even know what she’s saying, but she can’t stop saying it. Every thought that enters her mind is verbalized. Every sound that enters her ears must be imitated. Nothing is off-limits. No inhibitions exist. The talking must go on. It never ceases.
While her incessant talking gets below my skin several times a day, I still admire her stamina. Where does she find the energy to talk all day long? All day, every day? It amazes me. And it inspires me.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 reads: “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NAS)
Do I pray with the fervor with which my three-year-old talks? Her enthusiasm never wavers. Even if no one is listening, she continues voicing her thoughts, concerns, joys and dreams. And yet with prayer we know Someone is always listening. God wants us to pray. He wants to hear all that we think and fear and dream and hope.
I have reminded Isabel, “You only need to say things once.” Perhaps she thinks I don’t hear her or I didn’t understand what she said. Either way, if I don’t move fast enough, she just repeats what she said over and over and over again. Sometimes it even gets louder with each verse. It’s like ‘Henry the Eighth’. My brother used to drive me to homocidal thoughts simply by singing that song. Because I do not want to kill my child, I have asked her to only say things once. “You must trust me to do what you ask and give you what is best – without all the reminders.”
Her nagging has often reminded me of Luke 18. There Luke recorded a parable Jesus told of an annoying widow. The judge in her town didn’t respect God or His statutes. She went to this judge repeatedly asking for justice. He refused time and again. Undeterred, she kept coming back asking the same thing again and again. Finally, the judge acquiesced and gave her what she wanted. He said, “… because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!” (v. 5) Jesus went on to explain “Will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones who cry out to Him day and night?” (v. 7)
The introduction to this parable is in verse 1; it reads: “Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” (NIV) Am I giving up when I only pray once?
I have always thought of prayer in very simple terms. I tell God what’s on my mind, then He answers with “yes”, “no”, or “wait”. I don’t like repeating myself. I’m too afraid of being annoying. But that is not the point of this story.
The point is not that the widow was too annoying. The point is that she was persistent. God doesn’t think we are annoying. He wants us to come to Him again and again. He wants us to approach Him the way Isabel approaches me – with lots of enthusiasm, stamina and persistence; without ceasing.
Thanksgiving Challenge
I have a new laptop. I AM SO EXCITED!!! This is my combination birthday and Christmas gift. It is tiny and cute, less than five pounds. Simply adorable, complete with neon green sleeve and red poppy accent. The keys sing to me as the glistening (a.k.a. non-juice-stained or toddler finger-printed) exterior further brightens this already sunshine-y day. *sigh* I am so happy.
Thanksgiving is only a couple days away. Isn’t it wonderful to be forced to be thankful? It seems human to forget; to take things for granted. It is awful how easily we become accustomed to the blessings we’ve been given, almost instantly becoming bored with what we knew we had to have just moments before. But on Thanksgiving we are forced to remember our blessings. We are obligated to think of at least one thing we are thankful for. Once we think of one, many flow. Thanksgiving should be a monthly holiday. Truly, we should be thankful for everything every day, but if every day were Thanksgiving, we would eventually get bored with it and forget to be thankful even when the holiday demands it. So, I suggest a once-a-month holiday. Or maybe once a week. Of course, that would be a Sabbath, wouldn’t it?
When we first moved into this house, I thanked God for it every day. I was so grateful to be out of our apartment! Two years later my comments about this place are more complaints than praise. When did I stop thanking Him for this house? When did my focus change from the positive to the negative? Now instead of reveling in the space and back yard, I only see how small it is and what needs to be fixed. It is still the same house. It hasn’t changed. I am still thrilled to be out of apartments, but I’ve stopped being thankful that we are.
“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23
The blessings God gives us may not always seem new to us. They may lose their luster as we quickly become accustomed to having them, but the truth is: they are new every morning. We do not deserve them any more today than we did when first we received them. They are renewed for us each day. Take a few moments this week to remember the blessings God continues to give you; the ones that no longer seem new, but are still great blessings.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for so much. Yes, I am thankful for this new laptop, but I am also thankful for my old laptop. It has been very good to me. Both were unexpected gifts. I am thankful for my children – also unexpected gifts. I am thankful for my husband, who gave them all to me! I thank God for our family, our house, our friends … even our minivan. I am thankful for each new morning, each new opportunity to praise Him. I am thankful for you, as you read my ramblings, and all the encouragement you have given me. I am thankful for the future and all that it holds. I am thankful the future holds surprises…
God’s love and faithfulness is indeed so great.
A God Who Plans
When I was young, I fell hard in love with this guy. He was everything I knew I wanted. Secretly, I planned our future together. Eventually, he noticed me, too. Then, together we began planning our future. I was thrilled! But, as is normal, the longer we were together, the more we learned about each other. This aspect of me was not quite right, so I tried to change it before it bothered him too much. Then another thing popped up, and we worked on that. His mother never liked me, but that didn’t dampen my conviction. I could imagine no one else I would be happy spending my life with, so I worked hard to become everything she wanted for her son. I bent and changed, all the while singing a happy tune.
Finally, after years of on-again/off-again roller-coaster trials, our relationship ended for good. I was devastated. I spent hours and hours, weeks and months, trying to figure out what I did wrong. I replayed every conversation, every letter of every encounter. If only I had done this … If only I had said this instead … If only he knew this … then everything would be fine. But everything worked out just as it should have. God was in control the whole time. Oh, you couldn’t convince me of that then, but I know it now. The truth is: that guy wasn’t what I needed and he wasn’t really what I wanted.
Matthew Perry uses a great line in the movie “Fools Rush In.” While trying to stop Selma Hayek from leaving, he jumps in front of her truck and says: “You are everything I never knew I always wanted!” I cannot think of a better way to describe my husband.
Our friends were all shocked when Rick and I started dating. He’s very straight-laced and traditional, a military kid. He is hot as anything, but people don’t always notice that through his seemingly Beaver Cleaver persona. While he was studying and keeping to himself, I was a hippie-chick prioritizing my social life over books. We didn’t hang with any of the same people. Most didn’t even know we were dating until after we were married. Nobody got it. But I have never been happier. He is not at all what I thought I wanted; he is not at all what I thought I needed, yet he is perfect for me. I would love to tell you all the juicy details of how wonderful he is, but those morsels are mine.
Instead, I want to tell you how none of this is an accident. It isn’t luck that brought us together. It isn’t even fate or destiny. We are not with each other because we messed up previous relationships. God knew all along – the whole time I was fighting to win over that other guy – He knew I wasn’t meant to be with him. He had already prepared Rick in advance for me — and me for him.
God has the future in His hands. There is no point in us trying to take it from Him. He knows what is best for us. We can rest knowing that what He has planned will come to fruition; what He has designed for our futures will be. And we will be happier with that than we would ever be with our own plans. I know this is true, because He knows what we really want; He knows what we really need – whether we know it or not.
“‘For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.’” — Jeremiah 29:11 (NET)
To Survive or Glorify?
Today is one of those days. My to-do list is a mile long and the kids are in a mood. I’ve handed out ten spankings and it’s only 9am. An appointment has slipped my mind until the last moment. I shower, dress, pack the diaper bag and get the kids in the car in fifteen minutes flat. Not bad – right? Except now I’m harried and rushed and simply cannot find a moment to regroup. All I can think about is how my socks don’t match. I remember the luxury of make-up. Ahh … those were the days! Back to normal life: There is nothing like lunch with over-tired toddlers and picky eaters. My white T-shirt (my last resort, worn only on laundry day) now has red jello marks all over the shoulder, and my lap smells like urine (not mine). I finally get the kids down for a nap; then, discover they have locked me out of the bathroom. This is my day.
Now, you’re probably expecting me to say something profound about God giving us rest and all the strength we need to survive each day. I will not refute that – He most certainly does! But today a different verse is on my mind: 1 Corinthians 10:31.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (NAS)
We do a lot of singing in our house. We have a song for just about every occasion. We sing the hymn “Stand Up for Jesus” nearly every day when prompting the kids to stand up to get dressed, get out of the bath, get off the floor in a store … We have a good morning song (compliments of VeggieTales). We sing a ton of choruses and kid songs all throughout the day. We even have a clean-up song (thanks to Laurie Berkner) that we sing whenever putting toys away.
The other night, as we were straightening the living room before bed, Isabel took the initiative to start our song. She sang loudly: “Clean up! Clean up for Jesus!” She had combined two of our usuals to make a whole new song.
This is what is on my mind today. She was cleaning up for Jesus. She was thinking (and singing!) of Him as she did her little mundane task of putting away her toys.
God doesn’t want us to simply survive our days here on Earth. He wants us to glorify Him through every moment of our lives. He is longing for us to drive to appointments for Him; to change diapers for Him; to go to work and stare at a computer for 9 hours … all with the purpose of glorifying Him. This life must be survived, there is no doubt. But there is much more to it than just survival.
Let me encourage you today: Clean your house for Jesus. Wash your car for Christ. Be nice to your boss for God. In all that you do, be it at home or elsewhere, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t live today just to survive; live it to glorify.
Imitators?
Many have called Isabel my “mini me”. She has my sandy-blonde hair, my full lips and my pointy chin. We’re not sure where she got those curls or the brilliant blue eyes, but, for the most part, she is my clone. She possesses more than a few of my mannerisms.
The three of us – Ellie, Zach and I – were outside today. Zachary was sitting in Ellie’s big, old, plastic car. I was relaxing; reading a book. Isabel was trying to convince Zach to get out of the car so she could have it. As I listened, I heard nothing more than an echo of myself. “Zach, honey, you play with this instead?” A little later she leaned over right at his eye-level, “Me no like that, Zach. No, no. You don’t do that.” Her tone was identical to mine.
Sometimes, though, when she does something unusual, I wonder: “Is this a reflection of me, too?” Her afternoon snack one day consisted of a bowl of watermelon and cantaloupe. As I worked on cleaning the kitchen, Ellie found a bowl of half-eaten chocolate Chex Mix. She carefully sprinkled it over all her fruit, then exclaimed: “Ta-da! Mama, look!”
“Oh, is this your new recipe? Very nice.”
“Me call it ‘messy house’. You like it?”
Where did she get that? Is it a reflection of my creative culinary experiments or my dreadful housekeeping skills? No matter. The real question is: what does God think when He watches me? Am I portraying His character in a way that makes Him proud? Or is He wondering where did I get that?
The Apostle Paul gives us a ton of guidelines for righteous living. He lists several specific behaviors and temptations to avoid right here in Ephesians. Go back a bit. The whole section from 4:17 through the end of the book lists item after item. These are the things NOT to do. To sum up all that we must DO, Paul gives us these two verses:
“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” — Ephesians 5:1-2, NIV
The key to accurately imitating God is to “live a life of love”. If we do that effectively and completely, we will naturally match His character. In that one command we will find unity, peace, wisdom, compassion, charity … all that we need.
So, how are we doing? Does your life radiate God’s love? Are you reflecting all that He is? I know I fall far short, but I’m working on it. Let’s not be sad portrayals of our King. Rather, let us strive to reflect Him with precise clarity. May others see Him in us – in our mannerisms, our tone, our lives, our love.
He’s not done with us.
We recently drove to North Carolina to celebrate our nephew’s first birthday. About forty minutes into the trip home, Zachary started fussing. I turned around to face the backseat. “What’s wrong, Zach?”
He threw up his arms in the sign for ‘finished’ and yelled, “Done!” Zachary had had enough and he wanted us to know so. Unfortunately, we still had ten hours to go before reaching home.
This trip was our third long venture since the end of May. Since getting our minivan, we’ve gone to Virginia Beach, Indiana and now North Carolina. In a couple weeks we will be embarking on yet another. This time to Kentucky and Tennessee.
Many have called us ‘brave’ traveling so far with such young tots. At thirteen and thirty-one months, our kids could spell disaster. They’re actually very good. They entertain themselves with books and games; toys and snacks. Of course, the dvd player helps significantly after the first few hours of novelty wear off. And, of course, there are the never-ending questions … “Are we there yet?” “We’re getting closer – right?” “Are we catching Grandma?” “Daddy, where we going? You driving?” “Mama’s turn drive yet?” It’s not always easy, but we survive.
The reason for all these trips does not stem from masochistic natures. Nor is it because we love spending hours upon hours trapped in the car. We do it because we must. With family in seven states, travel is a necessity. We tried flying – with disastrous results. So we drive pretty much everywhere.
Life is filled with things that we must do. We don’t always have a choice. There are many times I find myself throwing up my arms like Zachary. “I’m done!” I don’t want to deal anymore. I’m tired and certainly tired of the ‘have-to’s. Do you ever feel that way? Sure, you do. Everybody does. So, how do we get through it? The author of Hebrews tells us.
“…let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” – Hebrews 12: 1-3
Even when we are “done”, we still have not faced even a portion of what Christ went through to grant us salvation. I’m not saying life is easy. It’s not! But it could be so much worse.
But don’t just remember the suffering of Christ. Remember, too, His power, His goodness and His love. All of these are at your disposal, if you have placed your faith in Him. If we keep our eyes on Him, we will not grow weary because we will constantly be facing His strength. We will be looking into the eyes of our Savior, recognizing all that He has done and all that He continues to do for, in and through us. We will not be saying “I’m done!” Instead we will say “Give me more!”
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” — Hebrews 10:35-36
God has so much He wants to give us. It doesn’t stop at salvation. He wants to give us wisdom and strength, joy and faith and peace and love. He wants to give us life abundant. Life like we have never known. We will miss it all when we throw up our hands.
Fix your eyes on Jesus, my friend. Don’t just glance at Him. Fix your eyes! Get them focused so that you may see Him in all His wonder and glory. Don’t let them move away from His face. I want you to be blessed. I want you to receive all that He has promised! Get your eyes stuck and persevere. Run with me! God’s not done with us yet.
What does it matter?
Today is Zachary’s birthday.
I have spent the last two days rather upset over something that somebody said and did that completely contradicted itself. I hate it when people are inconsistent. There are times that I don’t exactly live my beliefs to their fullest, I admit. Everybody slips – I probably more than others. What bothers me is people being consistently inconsistent. If you always say one thing, but do another. Or have rules that apply to everyone but yourself. This is what I’m talking about. It drives me crazy! Well, this is what has been mulling around in my head. Should I confront this person? How do I do that tactfully and without coming off too emotional? (Yes, yet another fault of mine is being overly emotional. I get so worked up that no one pays attention to the logic of my argument. Rather they believe I’ve got “lady issues” or something else that is really bothering me.)
Zachary is sick. He has had a nasty head-cold for a couple days now. We’re finally on the mend, but he’s still not himself. On top of that, his eczema has come back with a vengeance and he is in the depths of separation anxiety. It seems the only peace he has is wrapped in my arms, while we rock out in the corner of his room. I sing and he just collapses on my chest.
While we sat there this afternoon, me belting out “The Beatles”, his peace overflowed to me.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:4-7
How long ago did I memorize these words? Again I must learn to be gentle and patient; filled with rejoicing and never anxious, for it is there that I will find my peace. And not just any peace: a peace that surpasses all comprehension. How awesome is that?
Too often I allow myself to create turmoil. I have a pretty cushy life! I have an amazing husband who not only allows me, but encourages and thanks me for staying home with our kids. We have got a wonderful home – not our dream house, but it is more than comfortable. We never suffer for food or clothes or anything. We are so very blessed! So, why am I always complaining? Why am I always adding drama when I could be bathing in God’s peace? I am in want of nothing, yet I snivel and gripe at things that mean nothing.
And that was my revelation while trying to comfort my son today: it means nothing. All these spits and spats that my female mind needs to dissect while folding laundry or doing dishes mean absolutely nothing! Who cares if I have been wronged? Who cares if things are equal and fair? It doesn’t matter! What does matter are those moments in our red rocker. The moments sitting in the grass blowing bubbles. The moments singing and reading and playing. Time is fleeting and I refuse to waste another moment complaining about those things that mean nothing. I choose peace. To prove it – I am sitting here writing instead of cleaning. Instead of worrying about the thirty plus people who are coming to a birthday party on Saturday, I am meditating and praying. My house is a disaster, and I don’t care. I’ve got a little boy calling out for one more moment with me. I am rushing to enjoy that moment and treasure God’s peace found in it.
My Brigadoon
I have lived on the east coast for thirteen years. This is not where I grew up. I grew up in Indiana. My accent must be muddled because no matter where I go, I am asked where “home” is. We have only lived here for two years, so sometimes my answer is “New Jersey” and sometimes it’s not. When we lived in New York, my answer was always “Indiana”. Now when I 
Recently we drove “home” to Indiana for a family get-together. This was the first time Rick and I had been there since our wedding – over seven years ago. Surprisingly and not-so-surprisingly, it is the same. That place is my Brigadoon. If I were to leave for a hundred years, I could probably still return to find that only a day had passed. The same farms are owned by the same families. The same restaurants are in the same places with the same signs from over twenty years ago. It seems frozen in time. Of course, the people have changed. They have gotten older and taller. Families have grown. But they are all still there. Some still telling the same jokes and hugging us as if we had never left.
Growing up in our small town, I couldn’t wait to get out. I wanted to travel Europe and move to New York City. Life had bigger and better things for me. I knew it! And I never thought for a minute that I would miss that place. I wanted change and adventure. Well, I have visited Europe and lived in New York. I got out! And I miss that little farm town more than I can express.
In just two days I was reminded of the serenity of rural life. I was reminded of the security of things never changing. Everyone knows everyone else. There are no social pressures to be or do or dress a certain way. The inescapable competition of the northeast seems nonexistent in the Midwest. Oh, I am sure it is there, but it is not as oppressive. I was simply amazed at the peace evident in those whom I visited. We could breathe freely. We could relax.
On our drive home, Rick and I discussed where God wants us to be. We so desire to give our kids roots; to be in one place for their whole childhood. A place where they can come home and bring their children. A familiar haven. As we discussed all that we saw and heard and experienced that weekend, I found myself aching. I wanted exactly what we were leaving behind!
Why am I always so discontent? When I have that, I want this. When I have this, I want that. Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Well … that’s another story …
Eventually I realized it wasn’t the country I wanted. It isn’t the house on the lake or the friends from high school. Yes, that would all be wonderful, but my heart was aching for the peace. Not the place or the things. The Presence.
I am a do-er. Prayer and silence are not my strongest points. Watch my clone: Isabel talks literally non-stop from her waking moment until ten minutes after we put her to bed. That little girl is the sound track of my inner monologue. I am going non-stop whether I like it or not. Being still and quiet do not come easy to me. I wish I could express this to its full truth! Even when I am praying, lists are being formed in my mind. Things to do later, groceries we need, people to call, books to read …
God reminded me this morning: “Let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:4) THAT is what I want! I don’t need a bigger house or fine jewelry. I want to be adorned with this imperishable quality. I want the tangible presence of God in my every breath.
Lord God, once again I come before You begging for Your perfect presence. Only You can still my heart. Only you can give me a gentle and quiet spirit. Make me more precious in Your sight. By seeking You, I long to bring my Brigadoon to wherever You want me to be. Hold me tightly in the center of your palm that I may not wander. I love You and seek to love You more …
