Category Archives: encouragement
The Sun Works
Faith is currently the hot topic of my life. We talked about it at MOPS this week; I reviewed a book about faith for CCBReview last week. It even came up during a recent trip to the grocery store.
My conversations with Isabel are always surprising and enlightening. She never ceases to show me new perspectives on life, God, my behavior or society. Her eyes are so fresh and her mind so perceptive. This week was no exception.
As we drove to the grocery store she looked out her window noticed all the snow still on the ground. This is a big deal because she is just beginning to understand seasons. If there is no snow on the ground, she insists winter is over. It could be five degrees outside, but if there’s not snow, to her it is summer. Don’t even try to argue with her — she’s convinced. Instead of saying “Let’s go play in the snow”, she says “Let’s go play in the winter!” Well, seeing all the “winter” still on the ground, she asked me why some people had winter on their grass and others didn’t. I explained the sun had melted some of the snow, but some was hidden in the shade of tall trees or houses and didn’t see the sun as much. This intrigued her. “Mommy, the sun doesn’t like winter?”
“Of course, the sun likes winter. But the sun really likes the summer. Before we can have summer, we need spring. Spring comes after the sun melts all the snow and the flowers start to grow.”
She thought long and hard about this, then in a voice of near panic, she yelled from the back seat: “Mommy! The sun is not working!” Apparently, she had enough winter and wanted spring to arrive in less than five minutes. The concept of faith immediately entered stage left.
“Honey, it doesn’t happen all at once, but it will happen. I promise. It happens every year and it will happen again this year … when the time is right. You just have to trust and have faith.”
Trying to explain faith to a not-yet three-year-old is difficult. There is the comparison to wind: you can’t see it, but you know it’s there; you see its effects. The problem is she can feel wind. She can’t feel spring. She can’t feel God. What is faith? How do I explain such a huge concept to my children?
“Daddy comes home every day, doesn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“Even if you can’t see him leave work and you can’t hear his train whistle, you know he’s coming home. It’s the same with spring. You may not see the sun working and you may not hear the flowers grow, but spring will come.”
At this point she lost interest in faith preferring instead to discuss what kind of grocery cart we should use and whether or not she could get a special cookie. I assured myself the conversation would rise again and I would be more prepared when it did. We completed our shopping and drove home talking about all kinds of toddler topics, mostly her cookie which she now clutched tightly in her hands. Back home, after getting her out of the van, we walked gingerly across the ice and snow. She stopped short at the edge of the sidwalk in a small puddle of melted slush. “Mommy! It’s working! The sun is working just like you said!”
Just a little bit of faith … So often life stresses me. I want to know exactly what God’s plan is for today and tomorrow and all the days to follow. I want to hear an audible voice assuring me that everything is going to fall perfectly into place. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. Just as Isabel is choosing to believe spring will come, I must choose to believe God is in control. That’s faith. And I have plenty of reasons to believe; more than enough evidence to support my faith. Afterall, the sun works.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)
First Prayers
Zachary is learning to pray. It is the most beautiful thing.
Isabel prayed at a young age, but she has always been a very spiritual child. It is almost as if she was born believing in God. She has never questioned His existence or sovereignty, but rather assumes His presence and gasps in awe at each new thing she learns about Him. Her first prayers seemed a natural extension of her personality. In her soft, silky voice she whispered: “Thank you, God, Mama, Daddy, food. Amen.” Now, more than a year later, her prayers are almost the same as the very first one. She usually prays the same prayer at each occasion: “Thank you, God, for this great day and great family! Amen.” A few seconds later, she starts again: “Oh! I forgot! And thank for this great food Mommy made. Amen.”
Zachary is a different creature all together. He has a much more tangible personality. It takes some persuading to win him. He’s strong and confident and somewhat the skeptic. He is multi-layered. With Isabel — what you see is what you get; with Zachary — you’re never quite sure what’s going on in his mind. We’ve struggled from the beginning with him and prayer time. He would scream whenever we prayed before meals, during morning devotions and before bed. He hated it and we hated that he hated it. Rick and I have been praying for months asking God to get a hold of this little guy’s heart and turn it toward Himself. Over the past month or so, we’ve seen a huge difference in Zach. He now patiently folds his hands before each meal. He quietly places his forehead on mine each night before bed. And now he has begun to pray for himself.
His prayers are not like Isabel’s. We have no idea what he is saying, really. It’s just a serene babble with “God” thrown in here and there. His hands folded neatly and his voice determined, he insists on praying first. And loudest. Oh, how I love the prayers of children! I wish I could hear the Spirit’s interpetation of these babbles, these sweet, heartfelt messages to God.
“We do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” — Romans 8:26 (NAS)
Being a Child
With her big blue eyes and soft curls, Isabel rested her face in her hands. She smiled the world’s purest smile and sighed. “It’s fun being a child.”
Sometimes I forget she’s only two. She’ll be three in a couple weeks, but she is still so young! Then such profound statements roll off her tongue … I am lost in the wonder of God. How could He pack so much delight, intelligence, creativity, perception and enthusiasm in such a tiny package? She is beyond amazing to me, and the God who created her is unfathomable. I cannot even begin to comprehend all that He is.
In addition to His character is the truth of His love.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” – 1 John 3:1 (NIV)
I think about Isabel’s statement. My teenage years were a blast! Without hesitation I admit: it’s fun being a teen. But being a child? That’s a different story. My parents’ divorce and the circumstances causing and extending from that filled my childhood with fear, doubt and insecurity. I didn’t know where I belonged and I never wanted to be where I was. I was lonely. I was lost. I was angry. It was not fun being a child.
I am so grateful Isabel and Zach have a different story. It is because of the differences they can enjoy their childhood. What was lacking in my childhood is present in theirs. Best of all, what is lacking from even their childhood is present in a relationship with God, the perfect Father.
As I’ve grown up, my ideas of fun have changed drastically. Once upon a fun always included a large group of people, wild activities and often loud music. Now, I love staying home and watching tv with only one person (my husband, of course). Fun isn’t always what you’re doing. It’s your circumstances and your attitude.
It’s fun being a child of God, not because we have the best toys and crazy parties, but because of the security and peace found in knowing we are fully loved by an awesome, faithful Father. It’s difficult to be bored when you recognize every day is a gift. You can’t easily be depressed when you have a Savior who not only sees past your superficial persona, but knows all your deepest, darkest secrets and loves you in spite of them. I’m not saying life is wonderful and filled with cotton candy. Christians have trials just like everybody else. But as children of God, we find security, safety, love, peace, joy, rest … everything we need and more in our Holy Father God. We know He is fully capable of anything and everything we request. Furthermore, we know He loves us and will give us what is best for us. In that we find immeasurable freedom. What’s more fun than freedom?
My very best …
Back in December I told you about Isabel and her birthday “gifts” for Jesus. Well, she hasn’t stopped giving her all. Recently, again while on the potty, she jumped up, grabbed my hands and proclaimed: “My very best peepee for my very favorite mommy!!”
She is so enthusiastic in everything she does! Like every child this age, she seeks to please her parents. It always encourages me to seek our heavenly Father’s approval with such enthusiasm. Are we giving our very best for our very worthy Father?
Proverbs 31
For as long as the words have been inscribed, women have been encouraged and challenged by Proverbs 31. This one chapter describes the perfect woman of God. I often get frustrated reading about her. She is excellent in every way. She is creative and crafty, a world-class chef, an entrepreneur and a good business woman. She works night and day, is charitable, hospitable, optimistic and takes great care of her house and everyone in it. Her children and her husband adore her. She is respected by all and she fears the Lord. It’s a mighty standard to meet! Recently while reading this portion of Scripture one verse stuck out more than all the rest. It’s funny because I had never noticed it before.
“What, O my son?
And what, O son of my womb?
And what, O son of my vows?”
I had to laugh. Even this perfect woman of God, the one we all aspire to be, was occasionally exasperated. This one verse made me feel so much better! There are times I respond to our children with a “What? What? What??” I love the thought that perhaps our Proverbs 31 woman faced the same exhaustion and frustration so many parents feel today.
The verse quoted above is verse 2. Only one verse precedes it, and that is a simple introduction: “The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him.” In other words, the first thing Lemuel’s mother said was “What”.
This brings me to another verse: James 1:19: “Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.”
Our example of a godly woman did not start with “Don’t touch this …” or “Stop doing that …” She may have been frustrated; she may have been weary, but she did not start with instruction. She started with a question. She chose to listen first.
I can almost hear her take a deep breath between verse 2 and 3. This mother was full of patience even when her strength was nearly gone. Yes, she may have been tired, but she stopped just long enough to regain perspective. She didn’t get angry. She listened first then spoke. And when she spoke … wow.
She goes beyond answering her son’s questions. She goes beyond giving him instruction. She gives him wise counsel in a way he can remember. If we look at the Hebrew text (Don’t be impressed – I remember very little from my college Hebrew classes!) we notice that verses 10 through 31 are alphabetical, each one starting with the next letter in the Hebrew alphabet. Our righteous example was a mother who took the time to not only give her children the knowledge they needed, but to give it to them in a way they would understand. What a wise and wonderful woman!
Once again … encouragement and a challenge. Parents, know you’re not alone. Your job is hard and frustrating; it’s exhausting, but this time is fleeting. Take a deep breath. Teach your children what they need to know in a way they will remember. I love songs and hands-on projects. Some of the best learning times we’ve had with the kids have been through music and motion. Oh, I’ve got a long way to go. I forget to take that deep breath far too often. I speak before I listen. I am full of faults … but with God’s help and the example He has given us here, perhaps one day my children will rise up and call me blessed. Toward that end I will persevere.
All Scripture taken from the New American Standard Version.
You can stand because of Him.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13
Over time this verse has been commonly paraphrased as “God will never give you anything you can’t handle.” I’ve heard it repeated thousands of times. I’ve even repeated it to others. This past week that very paraphrase became my mantra.
It was Wednesday. I had a writing deadline approaching and a to-do list longer than usual, but all was put on hold when the kids awoke. They were cranky. Zach was running a fever and Isabel was congested; both requiring extra cuddles and undivided attention. On top of this, Zach’s eczema had flared up overnight leaving an open and infected right hand. Rick was also under the weather. He decided to take half a sick day and work from home. My mantra was well rehearsed and quietly whispered in the back of my mind. “God will never give you anything you can’t handle.”
I settled the kids in front of a movie with blankets and pacis and all things comfortable, then started a load of laundry. I was waiting for 9am to call the allergist about Zach’s hand. Before that time came, the washer overflowed flooding the basement, Isabel had diarrhea (unfortunately, not in the potty), and Zach vomited all over Rick and my freshly cleaned bathroom. A little louder: “God will never give you anything you can’t handle.”
The allergist was free in the afternoon; we made a 1pm appointment. After cleaning both the kids and the bathroom (again) and attempting to mop the basement mess, I put Zach down for an early nap. Somehow I managed to get a shower and some lunch before heading off to the doctor’s office. There we discovered Zach had a double ear infection. At this point I started repeating it aloud: “God will never give you anything you can’t handle!”
As the words rolled off my tongue and into my ears I heard what a silly statement it is. First of all, the verses refer specifically to temptation, not trials, so the paraphrase is inaccurate. Secondly, to say God will not give me anything I can’t handle assumes I have strength of my own. I do not. I can’t do anything without God’s help. It is only because of Him that I am breathing at this moment; only because of Him I can wake each morning.
If we change it just a bit – God will never give you anything you can’t handle WITH HIM – well, that’s better, but not very encouraging. When you realize there is nothing God cannot handle, then you’re faced with this reality: Hell can land face-up on your front step and there is nothing you can do about it.
The good news? God can do everything about it. By trusting in Him, there is nothing through which you cannot stand. Note I said “stand”. I don’t mean we cower on the floor waiting for the storm to pass. God will help us stand through whatever trials come our way. You may not enjoy it, but you’ll survive. You’ll survive with a renewed faith and deeper layer of sanctification. This is where we find our encouragement.
“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26
“Everything is possible for him who believes.” – Mark 9:23
All scripture taken from the NIV translation.
Another Little Thing
It’s been a rough week. Zachary’s molars started breaking through, so he’s been miserable with fever and pain. On top of that, the eczema on his hands flared up again, getting infected. He hasn’t slept well. Translation: WE haven’t slept well. I am tired, sore, sleep-deprived and emotionally exhausted.
Some days being a parent seems like too much work. I get tired of being nice and loving and nurturing. Some days I would rather be selfish. I would love to drop the kids off with their real parents so I can hit the movies or walk aimlessly around the city. Then I remember: I am the real parent.
On other days I am reminded exactly why I longed to be a mom in the first place: those little things that make all the difference. This morning Zach wasn’t feeling his best. He started crying and fussing with a stinky diaper. I changed him, lifted him off the table and gave him a kiss. He threw his arm around my neck and said, “Thank you, Mom.” I melted. It is amazing how such a little thing can make all those weary, endless nights disappear.
Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. – Galations 6:9
It’s in the little things.
Isabel has been struggling with her prepositions lately. In her language ‘to’, ‘for’, ‘from’, ‘at’, ‘in’ … they’re all interchangeable. She grabs onto the big words, the ones she deems most important, then kind of stammers through everything in between. Lately, her loudest and most clearly pronounced mistake is in song: “Stand up! Stand up to Jesus!”
I can’t tell you how many times we’ve tried to correct her. “No, honey, it’s stand up FOR Jesus -not TO Jesus.”
“I know, I know, Mama.” She then starts another verse, rallying troops against Christ. She doesn’t care much for those little words, but they hold a bucket of meaning.
Sometimes little things mean a lot. Sometimes we are so busy focusing on what we deem important we forget the meaning behind those little things.
Today my big struggle has been boredom. Both Ellie and Zach want my attention all the time. I’m not allowed to be a spectator or innocent bystander. No, I must get down and dirty with every game they imagine. Sometimes I love it. Today … well, I haven’t been lovin’ it. We played for half an hour with a piece of ribbon. Then we ran back and forth from the couch to the stairs pretending one was a bus and another was a train. At each stop we had to be sure our seatbelts were fastened just long enough to unfasten them and start over. This went on for about an hour. The whole time my mind was filled with the thousands of other things I could be doing. I thought about the piles of laundry in the basement and the dishes in the sink. I thought about that bill I needed to pay and some notes to remember for a writing project. I remembered a deadline quickly approaching and a friend I promised to call. I was bored out of my mind playing with ribbon and invisible transportation. But you know what? Isabel and Zach had a ball! They guffawed big belly laughs and sang happy little songs. Their eyes sparkled in a way I haven’t noticed in a while. These little ones are so important! Yes, that eye twinkle is a lot smaller than the pile of laundry calling my name. The giggles and tumbles and sweet imagination stories sometimes get lost in the big stuff, what I deem more important at the moment. But when I miss those little things … well, I’ve missed all the meaning – haven’t I?
My challenge to you: savor the little things. In giving little words of encouragement or a little smile; in those little, sometimes hidden moments of life we can find all the meaning.
So Long, Privacy … Hello, Rest!
When I first read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman I was convinced my two primary love languages were physical touch and quality time. Now, almost ten years and two kids later, I think they’ve changed. The problem is that it’s too late – I’ve already passed them onto my children. They both need lots of assuring touches and lots of quality time. While eating, Isabel will rub her foot against our legs and Zachary will keep his hand on top of mine throughout the entire meal. It seems a subconscious need. As is the nature of toddlers, they both require full attention from morning ‘til night – and sometimes even then.
All this touching and neediness can put me in overload. It’s just too much. Some days (like today) I think I’ll scream if one more person touches me. Privacy and personal space have gone the way of manual typewriters: I vaguely remember them with some fond reminiscence, but have great difficulty finding any. My showers are always interrupted by some knocking on the door or a little one playing peek-a-boo behind a towel. I can read only a sentence or two before becoming a living jungle gym. Whatever I do – dishes, laundry, vacuuming, talking on the phone – it is all done with someone touching, someone shadowing, someone demanding equal or greater and simultaneous attention.
The other day I saw myself through my life ceiling: I was sitting on the john trying to do my business. Isabel sat on her potty trying to give a synchronized performance. Zachary sat at my feet hugging my legs and trying to climb into my lap. The funny thing is I didn’t see this as unusual. This has become my life. Unknowingly, I signed some contract upon becoming a mother that surrendered all modesty, privacy and personal space. Even as I write now, Zach is jumping on my arm and spitting gibberish on my laptop. (Yes, the same laptop I pronounced toddler-free just a few weeks ago; the same laptop into which Isabel tried stuffing raisins earlier today.)
Two things come to mind.
First, I am grateful God never tires of us. I don’t want to say I tire of my children – I love them dearly! – but there are definitely times when I need a break; I need some “me-time” to rejuvenate and refresh. Praise God He does not need that! His strength and patience are infinitely sufficient. He never needs a break from us. He never needs time to re-fuel.
Secondly, this same God who never tires has promised us rest.
“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
Moms don’t get to leave work at the end of the day; we never get a vacation, but that’s okay because God doesn’t either. The good news is we can swap our burdens with Him. By learning from Him and following Him, we can have a lighter burden. It’s not our responsibility to raise perfect kids. We don’t have to be perfect parents who never tire of sacrificing all for our children and rejoice with every interrupted endeavor. We can rest knowing that God is carrying these burdens with us. We can surrender to Him and know that He will take care of us and our kids. We can trust that they are in His very capable hands and flawless care. This is where parents find rest.
As for privacy and personal space … well, I’ll let you know if I find it.
Weary Without Praise
Moms are notoriously underappreciated; as are spouses, pastors and missionaries. Too many families serve up broiled pastor every Sunday. Missionaries are often only worthy of our leftovers. And if your spouse can’t keep the house clean or come to dinner on time, well, then it’s just not worth serving dessert, is it? You are probably expecting me to give a summation of how we should show appreciation for all those around us; how we need to give praise and encouragement more freely. I won’t argue with that, but it is not where I’m going today. I am more concerned with the attitudes of the underappreciated.
This is one of my biggest struggles. As a stay-at-home mom, I often feel over-looked and under-valued. I carry no fancy title. There is no visible productivity. I am not bringing home a paycheck and at the end of the week I have no tangible signs of progress. What am I doing every day? Oh, I know this is an important job – one of the most important jobs; but the recognition is not there. This is not a profession respected in our society. When my kids are having a bad day, I am the one getting dirty looks in the grocery store. It doesn’t matter how wonderful they may be the rest of the year, that one fit in aisle seven cements the judgments of every shopper who hears the screams.
It is human nature to crave praise. We want to be told how good we are. At the same time, it is contrary to our nature to give praise. So we are a people longing to hear how good we are, but reluctant to tell anyone else how good they are. This is a predicament.
The solution: Cling to Galations 6:9. We must persevere in doing good. It is hard and it makes us weary, but we must press on because a reward is waiting for us. If we give up on hard days, we will never see the harvest; we will never reap the benefits of our work. It is in this harvest that we will receive our praise.
Sometimes Ellie and Zach will pounce on me with praise, usually at the prompting of their father. Those moments are the most precious. It is then that all my sleepless nights and frustration-filled days are erased. In those moments I am overcome with gratitude for this “job.” I am humbled. And I am reminded not to give up because the harvest is yet to come. Their little showers of praise are nothing compared to the flood of blessings that God has in store for those who follow this verse. Can you imagine? Little seeds … tender care … persistence.
Do not grow weary, my friend. Do not give up. Continue to do good, even when no one seems to notice. Do not wait on praise or measure your performance against the recognition. Saturate this world with your good deeds. I’ll see you at the harvest party.
