Posts filed under 'encouragement'
A picture of salvation
Big Fish, a rock and a parallel. Sometimes we fail to understand salvation fully. We’re grateful for Christ, but, if we’ve been in Christian circles for a long time, it can be easy to take for granted what He has done for us. We can forget the prison from which we have been saved.
Add comment August 9, 2007
Encouragement for moms
It has been more than a year since I started this blog. Thirteen months to be exact. If I’ve learned anything in that time through this experience, it is that I am not alone. I am a mom who second-guesses her abilities, her faith and her calling. I am a mom who is tired, frustrated, sleep-deprived, boundlessly in love with her children and desperately in need of encouragement. I am all of these and surrounded by other mothers who are exactly the same, be they moms, grandmoms or want-to-be moms. And, yes, the occasional dad thrown in there, too.
Today I want to share some encouragement for all of us from Mary E. DeMuth. I am currently reading two of her books. (Check out the Bookshelf to see what I’m reading.) Below is an excerpt from her devotional, Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God.
God sees in secret. “When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:3-4). “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:6). So much of what we experience as Christianity is outward. Television preachers have big, visible ministries. In our churches we openly pass the offering plate and offer prayer for everyone to hear. Although there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, it’s important to understand that the spiritual condition of our heart is unseen. God sees what we think, feel and do in secret; therefore, we should pay close attention to our secret life. Since he sees in secret, what does he see? Our jealousies? Our inner rage? Our quiet peace? Our pessimism? We ought to cry the psalmist’s prayer: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). The God who sees in secret delights to answer that prayer.
God rewards secret things. As a mother who’s stayed at home over a decade now, I would have despaired unless I knew that God sees me in my silent, secret acts of motherhood. He sees me when I pray for my children. He sees me when I watch them sleep, brushing hair from their sweaty brows. He sees every kindness and chronicles them for future reward. So much of motherhood is unseen, secret. Take heart. He sees you.
This is so encouraging to me! I have always read those verses with fear. “He sees me? Oh no! What have I done now?!” But, yes — Praise God He sees us! You don’t have to be a mom to be under-appreciated. God sees what we do with our kids, what we do when the boss isn’t looking, what we say about our neighbors when the blinds are closed. He sees us and He will reward us accordingly.
2 comments August 2, 2007
Zach’s first memory verse
We spent last night at the ER. Right at bedtime, Isabel took a spill on our renewed hardwood floors. (My summer project has been ripping up our carpet and getting back to the original hardwood. It looks much better, but the kids are still getting used to it.) After assessing her split chin, we decided to take her to the hospital where, after much tripidation and a lot of crying, she received about ten stitches.
What does this have to do with Zach’s memory verse? You know I teach — rather TRY to teach the kids memory verses. Usually, I’m repeating them while Isabel sings a beat behind and Zach happily ignores us. Well, this time he has learned it, too. The verse is Joshua 1:9. The slightly condensed version I’ve taught them is this:
“Be strong and courageous for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Zach’s version is something like this: “STRONG! O-RAGEOUS! GOD … GO, GO, GO!!” Yes, the boy has only one volume: mega-loud. This was quite evident last night in the hospital.
While Ellie was terrified, screaming at what must be done, Zach stood on a chair just outside her room quoting their memory verse. His mega-loud did not compete with her near-hysterical crying, but it warmed my heart. While he yelled for Ellie to be strong and courageous, I praised God for two kids who love each other so much. I praised Him for allowing me to witness the miracles of heart in these two. I praised Him for giving me a husband who doesn’t faint at the sight of blood and needles (in contrast to me). And today I am praising God for the ability to memorize His Word.
I am currently re-reading (for the third time) the “Mark of the Lion” series by Francine Rivers. I love these books! Hadassah, one of the main characters, is a Jewish Christian who has been captured after the fall of Jerusalem then sold as a slave in first century Rome. She is separated from her family, her Scriptures and all her friends. All she has is her memories, but she remembers a lot! As I read it, I wonder, if I were separated from my current life and stranded in a new land without a Bible, how much of it would I remember? How much Truth do I carry in my heart and mind?
I always labor over which verses to teach the kids. I want them to be understandable and applicable to these young souls. It seems the verses chosen are often “stumbled” upon, but before long God’s sovereignty is again made evident. The verses they memorize are remembered and used in no time. All Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching and application … Every bit of Scripture is important, but it still amazes me how such little phrases can be so important, so timely. It amazes me how words I have repeated over and over take on a new life when spoken with the breath of a child. It’s beautiful!
So what is my point? Only to encourage you, me, all of us to fill our hearts and minds with the words of God.
“Listen, Israel! The LORD our God is the only true God! So love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, and strength. Memorize his laws and tell them to your children over and over again. Talk about them all the time, whether you’re at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning. Write down copies and tie them to your wrists and foreheads to help you obey them. Write these laws on the door frames of your homes and on your town gates.” — Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (CEV)
I love this passage. It reminds us how very important God’s instructions are. Eugene Petersen’s paraphrase The Message puts it like this: “Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children.”
Memorizing Scripture is important. And helpful! You never know when you’ll end up in the ER needing a mega-loud reminder of what God has said.
3 comments July 27, 2007
Stop the Ripples
I am hiding from my children. Our bedroom, affectionately called “the cave”, is my only place of solitude. Well, a semi-solitude. The ramblings of our children still echo from the living room. Dora is singing somewhere in the background. Piles of laundry surround me, sprinkled with a few cheerios and matchbox cars. But this is the best I can find.
Our children are boycotting naps. I haven’t had a moment’s rest in a week and a half. That is, not while they are awake. I haven’t written in that same amount of time. It’s killing me. I can’t even go to the bathroom without visitors to my throne or prying voices on the other side of the shower curtain.
So, what do I do? When I don’t have my “me-time” as our generation calls it; when I don’t have the quiet moments I need to recharge my batteries, I attack whoever is closest. I’ll grumble at Rick for leaving a wet towel on the floor. Even the mailman annoys me. If I am in the middle of disciplining Zachary and Isabel interrupts, who gets yelled at? Isabel. She likely is not the original source of frustration, but I spread my frustration to her. When I do not have my quiet moments, my reactions are disproportionate. Instead of smart-bombing problems, I use a more general ammunition, hitting innocent bystanders in the process. My grief and wrath ripple throughout the house. In turn, it ripples back. Isabel hits Zach because she knows she can’t hit me. Zach screams because he’s not as fast as she is, and poor Rick retreats until the storm blows over. I am left in the center facing the problems I alone created and amplified.
How much easier it would be to take a time-out in the beginning. Stop. Pray. Retreat to the cave before the warning bells ring and the turmoil is inevitable. As busy people it’s not always that simple. We run 24/7 with never enough time to accomplish all that needs to be done. We struggle to balance family life with career ambitions and spiritual callings. We are torn in every direction.
One of my favorite quotes is this: “There is never enough time to do all the nothing we want.” The problem is we don’t know what the nothing is versus the something. God knows what is most important for us. He knows how our priorities should align. If we don’t spend time with Him, how will we know what our somthings are? How will we know which demands are nothing and better neglected? We can’t. This is why we should seek him day and night. Even if it’s only a few solitary moments before rolling out of bed.
The good ripples, too. When I align my thoughts with God first thing, the rest of the day is better. My attitude is better, and everyone can tell the difference. Instead of loud, rushing voices, the house echos with laughter and sweet sentiments. Isabel hugs her brother instead of hitting him. Zach shares toys instead of stealing them. Rick is happy to come home instead of wishing he had a cave of his own. We don’t need to hide from each other! We find our rest in God. In the end, it’s not “me-time” that we need, it’s God-time.
8 comments June 26, 2007
I’m a writer.
This morning I sat in the dentist’s chair waiting for the Novocain to take effect. The cute little hygienist felt like talking. “So, what do you do?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I responded: “I’m a writer.” There was no intimidation or embarrassment, no fear, just a solid answer.
My confidence startled me. I’ve never said that before! I have been a published author for nine months and have never told anyone I’m a writer. Usually my what-do-you-do answer is all about the kids. “I’m a stay-at-home mom. I love scrapbooking!” Eventually, if the questioner keeps probing, I stammer a quick “I like to write when the kids are napping.” But today, I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t falter. It was clear and spoken: I am a writer.
I’ve hesitated in the past because of personal doubts. Am I any good? Is this really what I should be doing with my time? What is this person going to think if I claim to be something I’m not sure I am? Not any more. Let me tell you why.
Last week was the Blue Ridge Christian Writers Conference in North Carolina. I was fortunate to attend. It was an amazing experience! I highly recommend it to everyone who writes. If you want to write full-time, as a hobby, or if you’re not sure what you’re doing with your writing … it doesn’t matter. You’ve got to go. If not this conference, go to another one like it. In five short days my life as a writer was solidified. God used this week to affirm His call on me and my writing. I’m not intimidated anymore. I’m not scared or playing “catch-up”. I am right where God wants me — and sure of it! I was encouraged and challenged. It was an amazing experience.
So what is a writers conference? Well, it is many things. First and foremost, it is where people in publishing come together: writers, editors, agents, publishers, publicists. Everyone rubs shoulders, gathers in worship (at Christian conferences), shares meals and fellowship. Secondly, there are classes. The bigger the conference, the more classes there are available. This conference has around 400 people in attendance. Third, there are opportunities to meet one-on-one with people in the industry. As a writer, you can pitch ideas to them and see if they are interested in your projects. It’s a way of skipping the “slush” pile and getting tips on your work from the experts. Finally, it’s a break. It’s dedicated, undivided attention for your writing. You all know about my life. With two young kids, home, family and church responsibilities, I don’t get many days to focus on just my writing. My time and energies are deeply divided. Removing all those interruptions allowed me to hear that still, small Voice and know His purposes for my writing. It offered validity to this passion and confirmation of my calling.
Whether or not you’re a writer, doubts may plague you. You may wonder why you’re doing what your doing, if you should be doing it at all. You may wonder about your value. I can’t answer your doubts, but I know the One who can.
Take time to escape every day life. Close out all distractions until you can hear Him and know Him. When you find Him, go to where He is. Then you need not worry about anything else. It doesn’t matter if I’m a good writer or not, because being good is not my job. Obeying God and doing what He tells me to do, that’s my job. I want to do it to the very best of my ability, but the results are in His hands. It’s not my responsibility to get published or make people like me or my work. If that’s what God wants, He’ll take care of it. I just have to make sure I’m ready for whatever He is going to do. Ready and waiting, I’ll watch. It’s sure to be a great show! And the same is true for you. Be the best parent you can be. God will take care of the kids. Be the best administrative assistant you can. God will offer you favor in the eyes of your boss, if that’s what He wants. The results are not up to us — they’re up to God. All we need to do is obey.
So, you may be wondering what the results were of my conference. Well, they are the lesser of my concerns — My first priority is to stay in the center of God’s will — but I will tell you: two publishers have requested book proposals. I also received invitations to query a number of magazines with articles. It’s very exciting! I have no idea where this will go, but … God does.
6 comments May 29, 2007
Undercover Reasons
We’re having our carpets replaced today. We were told there are hardwood floors on the first level, but we’ve been hesitant to unveil them. People cover things for a reason.
Redoing this house has been an adventure. The previous owners covered everything. Each room was plastered with different wallpaper, usually some textured version featuring various colors splattered or splashed in every direction. The floors were carpeted, again different colors for each room. You could see five from one spot. When we bought the house, we thought it was just cosmetics. Everything seemed to be in great condition, just not our style. Nothing a little paint and elbow grease couldn’t fix – right? Well …
We’ve found two holes under wallpaper. I’m not talking nail holes or spots where screw anchors were stripped from the wall. I’m talking actual holes – you could pass things through them. One was about the size of a man’s fist, the other about the size of my head. Both large enough you can’t fix them with just spackle. It took grafting; cutting the hole bigger before we could make it better.
In another room the walls simply crumbled when we removed the paper. Fixing that took a contractor, major destruction and rebuilding from scratch. It’s so great to have a fresh start with brand new walls, but it took an investment and a headache we had not anticipated.
But today, as they stripped the old carpet and padding, I was shocked. Beautiful oak steps stared back at me. Why would they cover that?! They hid something wonderful, colorful and smooth under something ugly, grey and rough.
People do cover things for a reason, but only they and God know what the reason is.
We want to make things better. We put on make-up and designer clothes. We learn the words and ways to convince people we are what we want to be, but looking better doesn’t make us better. Our thoughts may be just as dark as the neighbor we’ve condemned. We smile to cover the holes in our hearts.
Other times we’re just scared. We put on rags because we’re afraid. We think if people know what we really are, they’ll not like us anymore. We hide behind what other people think of us or what we think of ourselves. Covering our true selves feels safer.
Only God can heal our holes. Only He can offer us security. He made us as we are for a reason. He wants us to shine in His light. He wants to make us whole and perfect. The challenge is letting Him.
We have to take off our coverings and let Him renew us; let Him fill the voids and restore our natural beauty. It may hurt. It may require some destruction and rebuilding. It will definitely take time. But it will be worth it! Imagine the beautiful haven that will result … Safe. Secure. Strong and beautiful.
5 comments May 16, 2007
Small victories lead to great joy!
For months I have been struggling with two issues: re-learning how to cook and dealing with developmental delays. Both relate directly to our son. Without intention my struggles have found me secretly blaming him (sometimes not so secretly), when it is not his fault! Isabel was soooooooo easy compared to Zach. He has had skin problems, sleeping problems, back-to-back ear infections, food allergies, bronchitis … Parents never want to compare their kids, but sometimes it just happens. But sometimes little victories come and then the joy that results can saturate a soul. This week we had two major victories in both areas of struggle.
Zach is highly allergic to all components of whole milk (this includes all dairy and a ton of other stuff that uses parts of dairy products), eggs and peanuts. Food allergies are noted on a numeric scale. Anything over three is considered “severe”. Zach’s levels are closer to fourteen. The problem is I LOVE dairy!! I love eggs!! Finding food that have neither has been a true challenge for me. It wasn’t such a big deal when he was younger; I just made different food for him than the rest of us. But now he notices and is quite bothered when he doesn’t eat the same as the rest of us. Thus my struggle of re-learning how to cook. This week’s victories? I found Zach-friendly ice cream cones (he can’t eat ice cream, but there are soy alternatives and some sorbets are okay) AND a Zach-friendly recipe for chicken pot pie!! YEAH!! I’m so excited. Praise God for learning curves. I didn’t have to figure this all out in one day — He has eased me into over the past 18 months and counting.
And my other victory for this week really is not mine at all. I’m just a witness, but a very happy one! Zach is walking!!! I cannot tell you how exciting this is. As of today, he is twenty-one months. He officially took his first happy steps last week. Now he’s walking just about everywhere. Not terribly fast, but he gets the job done. I’m thrilled! Over the past six months we have been through state evaluations, neurologist appointments, multiple developmental planning meetings and finally a ton of physical therapy — most of which Zach endured with an ear-piercing scream. This morning his therapist emerged from their session with a huge smile on her face. “He tried stairs!” She even said we can cut back the frequency of our sessions. He has to master stairs before we’re “allowed” to stop therapy all-together. The goal is to have him there before he turns two in August. The end is in sight and my heart is overflowing.
5 comments May 3, 2007
Tickled by Jesus
Tucking Isabel in bed always invites interesting conversations. Sometimes we talk about monsters or where the sun goes to sleep. Usually we talk about God. Last night she told me she was afraid of her bed.
This has been a common complaint of late. She is the only one who sleeps on the second floor; Zach, Rick and I have our rooms on the first floor. I think she’s just lonely. Once we finish the other bedroom, Zach will be moving up there, too. In the meantime, we have to settle her fears.
I explained to her God is everywhere and He will protect her. “Who made the world?”
“God!”
“Right! And He’s the biggest and strongest and He loves you so much. Do you know where He is?”
“In the sky?”
“Nope. He’s right here beside you. He lives in Mommy’s heart. He’s downstairs with Daddy and Zach, too. He’s all around us and He will protect you because He loves you.”
At this point she started giggling. “Jesus is tickling me!” That was the end of her fears for the night.
“I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.” — Psalm 16:8 (NLT)
God’s closeness is a wonderful abatement for fear, but it is more than that. I smile at the intimacy of Isabel’s statement: “Jesus is tickling me!” To understand how close God is, to believe He’s tickling you … what a wonderful thing! My mom uses the word “tickles” for delightment. It could be a simple thing said or the way a craft project comes together. If it makes her happy, it tickles her. If anything should delight us, it should be God.
In order for us to be tickled by God, we need to recognize His presence, but we also need to be close to Him. Spend some time with Him today and see how He can tickle your heart.
5 comments April 11, 2007
Finding Rest
God promises us rest. He calls the weak and weary to come to Him. He tells us His burden is light and His yoke is easy; if we trust in Him, our burdens will be lifted and we will have rest. How great is that?
Unfortunately, I know the Scripture but my body doesn’t believe it. I’m exhausted! It has been two years since I have slept consistently. I’m tired of dealing with screaming kids and messes and laundry. I’m tired of giving to everyone and running everywhere and never getting a day off. Where is this rest? The blessing of children has forever changed my life (not to mention my body) and zapped whatever relaxation that may have previously existed. I know God gives us rest, but I sure don’t feel it.
How about you? Do you feel rested?
We know God never lies; His Word is fully true. So, how do we find His rest? We have a million and one things to do every day. People depend on us, but we can’t provide what they need if our own needs are not being met. And we need the rest God offers. How do we get it? We make room for it.
The problem starts with expectations. We believe people expect us to be the best at everything. We’ve got to have the best job, maintain the cleanest, most comfortable home, have the happiest spouse and the best-behaved children. We need to be involved in our church and our community and our kids’ schools. We’ve got to keep up with friends and family members, always being thoughtful and encouraging. And don’t forget the finances. It’s our job to be thrifty and wise with the money, getting the best deals on everything.
Guess what – none of this is what God expects from us. God expects us to love Him with all our hearts, souls, and minds. That’s it. Nothing more; nothing less. We don’t have to DO anything. We just have to be madly and deeply in love with Him.
The reason we don’t find rest in Him is because we are too busy living up to other expectations. We over-commit ourselves. We fill our lives with things that we don’t need – all the while sacrificing what we do need: rest in God.
We have to make time for it. Perhaps this means giving up a ministry that has you too stressed. Or spending more money on groceries so you can enjoy time reading God’s Word instead of cutting coupons. Maybe it means letting the laundry sit so you can curl up with a movie or a great book while the kids nap. I’m not suggesting we slack off on our responsibilities – only that we get our priorities straight. God must come first, so we need to make time for Him. Whatever will help you — a devotional, a babysitter, a change in thinking — whatever it is, find it. Go out of your way to make room for God’s rest. You won’t believe how good it feels.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:28-30
4 comments April 3, 2007
Time to Interrupt
“Do you know how Rachel Ray makes 30-minute meals? She doesn’t have children!”
Frustrated, I made this statement while ending the second half-hour of an attempt to make one of her dishes. I know Rachel books it on her show, but still … even when I’m kicking tail trying to use my time as efficiently as possible, there is no way I’m getting any of her meals done in less than thirty minutes. Why? Because I have children.
Time passes differently with children in the house. Before having kids, we had the luxury of time – a luxury we squandered not knowing what we had. We took for granted our ability to be spontaneous. We could decide to go anywhere at a moment’s notice and without a second thought.
Isabel put a little damper on that, but not much. Having a child caused us to pause just long enough for a second thought. More times than not, we simply continued with our spontaneous whatevers. As an infant, she didn’t take up much space and traveled light. Yeah, life with one was not too much different than life with none.
But just like our footloose, child-free days, the era of just one was finite, destined to pass in short order. I am still adjusting to the surprise of Zach; the sudden life of two.
Time is definitely different with two. If a recipe claims to take one hour and fifteen minutes (total time including prep and baking), the mother of two should start it no later than 3:30 if she wants to serve it before 7 PM. Everything takes longer. Getting ready in the morning, getting out the door, eating lunch … everything. Interruptions are never-ending. But then I think: What is the interruption here? Are my kids interrupting my chores? Or are my chores interrupting my real life as a mother? What is most important?
Someone said “When your children are young, the days are long, but the years are short.” It is so easy to lose track of time and priorities in the rush of everyday life. We all have thousands of things on our to-do lists and our wish-to-do lists. But what is really important? Is it better to make a meal in thirty minutes or to share the hour-and-a-half prep time with little helpers?
“There is an appointed time for everything.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1
Now is not my time to be a speedy culinary genius. Perhaps in five, ten or twenty years … Right now is the appointed time for me to enjoy my little helpers and revel in these wonder-packed interruptions to a life of chores.
7 comments March 12, 2007
