Category Archives: Ellie-isms
Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks for October
Ellie: “Can you guys keep it down? I’m trying to rhyme over here.”
Me, to Zach who was sitting on the toilet: “Did you go?”
Zach: “No.”
Me: “Just a toot?”
Zach: “No. I wanted it to be real poopy, but it was just pretend.”
Ellie: “I think we should go to a restaurant for lunch today.”
Me: “What restaurant do you want to go to?”
Ellie: “The restaurant by the ballet studio.”
Me: “Okay. Which one?”
Ellie: “THE ONE BY THE BALLET STUDIO! Are you deaf, Mom? Can you not hear me?”
Zach: “Mom! Mom! You gotta SEE this!! The couch is all fluffy and when I fluff it, it looks fluffy!!”
Ellie: “Mom! Mom! The man on the radio said there was a mix-up of snow and rain in New Jersey!! We’re going to get snow!!!”
Me: “Well, it’s only thirty-seven degrees here — “
Zach: “I know what ‘degrees’ means. It means there’s a mix-up with winter and we need to stir it with spoon.”
Me: “What are you doing, honey?”
Ellie: “I’m just listening to you. I can’t help myself from listening to you.”
Oh, if only her “listening” actually meant “obeying” rather than “eavesdropping with the intent of sharing all that she hears.”
Me: “Zach, do you need to go potty?”
Zach: (grunt.) “No.”
Me: “You look like you need to go potty.”
Zach: “But I just love it, Mommy! I love going poopy in my pants!!”
Me: “Honey, you’re being very bossy today.”
Ellie: “Yeah. It’s ’cause I know everything.”
Ellie: “Bears have hairy faces, but we don’t. We have skinny faces.”
Me: “That’s right. Our faces are made of skin. What about bears’ bellies? Who has a hairy belly?”
Ellie: “DADDY!!”
Ellie: “Mommy, you look so pretty. Just like a horse.”
Now, these last two are frequently repeated. In fact, Ellie sings her song every morning on the way to school and most Sundays while driving to church.
Ellie’s song, sung mostly to the tune of “Jingle Bells”:
“Tinkerbell! Tinkerbell! Tinker all the way! Oh, what fun it is to ride in a Tinker-horsey sleigh. Hey! I love you (Here is where the tune goes astray.) always and forever because Tinkerbell I love you-hoo!!”
Zach, spoken at nearly every lull in any conversation: “And a DOO-DAH!!”
To this Ellie consistently replies: “What’s a doo-dah? I have no idea what a doo-dah is!“
Zach then starts laughing hysterically and sings a song about silly doo-dahs.
And there you have it, folks. Your monthly glimpse into the soundtrack of my life. Isn’t it beautiful?
PS: Happy birthday to Karen today!!
September Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
Ellie: “Mom, you remember that one day? Daddy stayed home and you told me to take him water. And we thought he was sick? You remember that?”
Me: “Um … sure.”
Ellie: “We have lots of memories, don’t we?”
Yes, we do have lots of memories. Knowing the leaky state of mine, I’m writing them down. September’s quotes seem to fit into basic categories.
Potty Talk (seemingly the funniest thing in our house according to my children)
Rick, spoken to another driver on our way to church: “Get off my butt!”
Zach: “Daddy, you said ‘butt.’” (Zach and Ellie start giggling.)
Rick: “No, I didn’t.”
Me: “Yes, you did.”
Rick: “I did? Oh. Sorry.”
Zach: “Daddy, you’re so silly! You said ‘butt’ and we’re not in the BATHROOM! We’re in the CAR!” (The backseat then filled with hysterical laughter from both children.)
Ellie’s Translations
Ellie: “I have a ‘squita bite on my oboe and it is KILLING me!”
Translation: I have a mosquito bite on my elbow and it really, really itches.
Ellie: “Mommy, I want a snack. Can you give me chores?”
Translation: What are my snack choices?
Me: “Ellie, will you help me set the table?”
Ellie: “Yes, Mommy! I’ll get the underwear!”
Translation: I’ll get the silverware.
Zach’s Stories (For some reason they always involve aggressive crocodiles.)
Rick: “What did you guys do today?”
Zach: “I played trains and then we went to the park and Ellie was teasing me because the crocodile bit my head and I don’t like that!”
Zach: “This one time I went to work with Daddy and I got stuck on a flagpole and I was so scared and I couldn’t get down because the rocks were too slippery. And then a crocodile bit my head.”
Precociousness
Ellie to Zach: “You’re going to grow up and be a real man someday. You’ll be a daddy to your children and — ”
Zach: “Ummmm … not today.”
Me: “Honey, I need you to wait just a minute.”
Ellie: “Um, Mommy? I actually don’t like waiting.”
And then we have hopscotch, camera-shy girls and silly-faced boys.
August Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
I’m a little late this month. Sorry! Here are the Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks for August.
*****
Ellie: “I love you, Mommy. You know everything about spreading butter. Thank you for teaching me and Zach!”
Zach: “Do you think my fingers can help the pee-pee come out?”
Ellie: “I don’t like lobster; I only like shrimp.”
Me: “Well, lobster is kind of like shrimp. Just try a little bit.”
Ellie: “Mmmmm. It tastes like shrimp. Mommy, you’re so tricky. How did you get shrimp inside that lobster?”
Ellie, while eating lobster: “I have a great idea! How about you do the cracking and hunting and I do the eating?”
Me: “Who’s a big boy?”
Zach: “Ants. Ants are big boys.”
Ellie: “Boys don’t like to see girls’ underwear, do they, Mama?”
Ellie, singing in the back seat, roughly to a tune from “The Sound of Music”: “So-do-la-fa-do-ti-do. When you know the notes to sing, you can sing every song!”
Me: “Ah-choo!!” (real sneeze)
Zach: “Ah-choo!” (fake sneeze)
Ellie: “Zach, are you being a copy cat?”
Zach: “No. I’m a sneeze cat.”
A (never to be) forgotten Ellie-ism
My mother-in-law was just over and reminded me of an Ellie-ism from this month. I can’t believe I forgot to include it in the earlier post! Here goes. Picture a family reunion with my husband’s family. His sister has come all the way from North Carolina with her family. An aunt and uncle we haven’t seen in years travelled from Nashville and Long Island. As all these relatives sit around the table eating dessert, this is what my daughter says:
Ellie: “You know what, Grandma? I get sick if I eat too much ice cream. You know what makes my mom sick?”
Here she takes a bite of her ice cream cake giving Grandma just enough time to ask “What?” and everyone’s ears to perk up.
Ellie: “When she drinks too much.”
Yup. I’m a lush. Actually, I very clearly remember the conversation that spawned this public humiliation. And, yes, I admit it. I do get “sick” if I drink too much … coffee.
July Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
It’s the last day of the month again. Enjoy.
————-
Ellie: “I’m the Simoner”
Translation: “When we play Simon Says, I’m the one who tells everyone what to do.”
Ellie: “I see our infection!”
Translation: “I see our reflection.”
Zach: “I’abel, it’s okay. You need to calm down. Here. Take a deep breath like this. There. You feel better now?”
Ellie: “Whoa! When I’m dizzy, the floor moves! Watch!” She then started spinning again.
Me: “How many hands does Mommy have?”
Zach: “I know, I know! FOUR!!”
Ellie: “I’m going to the lavatory. ‘Lavatory’ is how you say ‘bathroom’ in Spanish.”
Me: “No, actually it’s just an old fashioned way to say ‘bathroom.’”
Ellie: “Fashion? Oooh, I’m so fashionable in the lavatory!”
Zach: “Mom, you forgot your clothes.”
Me: “No, I didn’t. I’m wearing my clothes.”
Zach, looking me up and down: “Oh … o-kay, Mom.” Then he laughed and shook his head. Obviously, he’d never seen me wear a miniskirt before. 
I know, once you hit thirty you’re not supposed to touch those things, but it was over my swimsuit!
Ellie, whispered at the breakfast table: “God, please help Dora to live again.”
Ellie: “Mommy, can I please dust your exercise machine? It really needs it.”
Zach: “I want to watch Thomas and friends. I want to make tracks to great destinations.”
Ellie: “Mommy, you’re the best mommy in the whole world, the best mommy on earth! Do we live on earth?”
Short Years
When you’re parenting young children, the days are long, but the years are short.
I’ve known this. I’ve repeated this phrase as a mantra over the past couple years. It’s tough raising two kids so close together! I’ve experienced that and I trusted the wisdom of women older than me who assured me these days were fleeting. I wanted to drink in every moment before they were gone. Lately the unavoidable truth of short years has been tangible. A visible, audible heartbreak. I know, I know I’m just at the beginning. My oldest is only four. But it’s still eating at me. I’ve got a big girl on a two-wheeled bike giving doctrinal dissertations to the neighbors. Even my baby is not a baby anymore! He’s running circles around everyone, quoting his letters and phonics and wearing underwear to boot.
I figure I have two options: (1) have another baby or (2) refuse to let my kids grow up. My husband is praying hard against option number one so that leaves number two, which in my more practical moments I recognize as impossible. But I’ve come up with a plan. I’m going to refuse to call a speech therapist. Is that child abuse? It’s not like binding their feet or locking them in the basement – right?
Our girl has some speech issues. We’ve been letting it go because we thought she would outgrow it, but I’m afraid it’s time get some help. I don’t want to. These mispronunciations are so sweet and possibly the last signs of her being tiny. She’s not a baby anymore; she’s a big kid and I hate it. But a responsible mother must do what she must do. So, for the sake of prosperity, rather my own sentimentality, I’m recording here some of my favorites that she uses all the time. (*sniff* Excuse me while I go get a tissue.)
- Pwincess = princess (not too hard to figure out)
- Sweeping Booty = Sleeping Beauty
- Cinnerllella = Cinderella
- Wollo = royal, as in “Pwincesses sweep on wollo beds with wollo cwowns.”
- Wool = roll, as in “Mama, look! I wool my tongue!”
- Cimmimum = cinnamon
- loy-yo = oil, as in “We need loy-yo and cimmimum for our cookies.”
- Comooter = computer, as in “I have my watch and my phone and my comooter, just like Daddy!”
- Nemonade = lemonade
- Waterlemon = watermelon
- Ikeass = Zacchaeus
- Zachawee = Zachary, as in “Mama, Zachawee won’t sing Ikeass with me!”
- Lord, I leappa neemma lie! = Lord, I lift your name on high!
All right. I’m off to get another box of tissues and then find the number for a therapist. For me or her? Good question.
June Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks
It’s time for our monthly dose of kid quotes. This month was a little heavy with Zach Attacks and light on the Ellie-isms. ENJOY!
I’ll start us off with a conversation repeated almost daily during the half hour of quiet before bedtime. We go to our room (affectionately known as “The Cave”) and the kids either watch a short video in the living room or play quietly in their separate rooms. Zach knocks on our bedroom door to which Rick and I respond: 
“Who’s there?”
Zach: “Zachary.”
Us: “Zachary who?”
Zach pops his head inside the door to say: “Zachary Little Boy.”
Me: “Baby, you’re name is Zachary Dennis, not Zachary Little Boy. When we ask who’s there, you say ‘Zachary Dennis.’”
Zach: “Oh. Okay, Mom.”
He goes back outside and starts over. Knock, knock.
Us: “Who’s there?”
Zach: “Zachary Little Boy Dennis.”
Zach: “I went poopy!”
Rick: “I don’t see anything.”
Zach: “Pretend you do. I so happy!”
Ellie: “Mommy, you’re amazing!”
Zach: “I made pee-pee!”
Me: “When?”
Zach: “I win!”
Ellie, announced loudly while placing Cinderella pearls around my neck: “Attention, everyone!! This award is for Mommy because she is a nice mommy and she made me dinner and it has a singing shoe!”
After surviving a day of potty-training and preparing a massive outdoor meal for my family, I sat down ready to eat.
Zach: “I want a hot dog?”
Me, incredulous: “You serious?”
Zach: “No. My cereal is in the kitchen. I want a hot dog right here.” (pointing to his plate)
Ellie: “MOM!!! I saw an anthill and Zach stepped on that anthill. Then I saw the ants all sad! And now those ants have nowhere to live!”
Zach: “ROAR!!!”
Me: “Look out! There’s a lion!”
Zach: “Mom. I’m not a lion; I’m a puma.”
Ellie: “That’s not a bear. That’s a poking-pine.” (Translation: porcupine)
We have a problem.
Ellie is convinced we’re having a baby. We’re not. Let me say that again: we are not currently planning to have another child. The discussion is not permanently sealed, but right now, conception is not on the agenda. Our daughter believes otherwise. In fact, she thinks babies are already inside me waiting to come out. Oh, yes, we have a problem.
The weather has been great, so we’ve been outside a lot more, walking, going to parks and playgrounds. Ellie infoms every person we meet that we’re having a baby. She’s also decided this baby is a girl and her name is Lily. She’s tells everyone that too. I can’t get her to stop, no matter how many times I interrupt her before innocent passersby are lied to and then begin congratulating me. She just smiles sweetly and tells me once again that she needs “someone to push around.” Her powers of persuasion build muscle as she regales me with stories of her big sister skills and what a great helper she is.
She even told her father we were going to have a new baby. “Where are we getting this baby?” he asked. Her answer: “From Mommy’s tummy. That’s where babies come from, Daddy.”
Last night was the tipping point. I crossed over from “this is cute” to “we’ve got to do something about this.” While cuddling under some blankets Ellie asked me to tell her about when she and Zach were born. I gave the stories in a way that delighted her. She’s only four, so I kept the tales politely G-rated while still offering the excitement her imagination requires. I explained how they grew and grew and then finally decided to come out. Ellie told my body she was ready, but Zach wasn’t quite sure he wanted to come out. We needed to tell him it was time. She smiled, that adorable twinkle in her eye, then cupped her hands around her mouth and leaned against my stomach. “COME OUT, LILY!! IT’S TIME TO COME OUT!!!
Help. Please.
This photo, a flashback to almost three years ago, is courtesy of We are THAT Family and the weekly ‘Fro Me to You linky.
Our Ellie is definitely hoping to recreate the scene. These two have changed a lot, haven’t they? My girl had curls, but no hair! Makes me smile.
May Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
As always, the start of a new month brings a new collection of kid quotes. Here’s another glimpse of why I love being a mom. They crack me up.
Zach: “Oh, Mommy, you look boo-tiful!”
Ellie: “Look! It has Sleeping Beauty on it.”
Me: “Actually, it’s Snow White.”
Ellie: “Don’t you know? Sleeping Beauty is the Spanish way to say Snow White.”
Zach: “Mama, I’m gonna give you a kiss now. It’s gonna be a BIG ONE! Are you ready? Here it comes!”
Ellie: “Hoo-hoo-hoo is the Spanish word for whistle.” (Obviously, the girl is convinced she knows more Spanish than I do. Maybe so, but I’m pretty sure there’s a better way to say “whistle” in espanol.)
Zach: “Mommy, you’re my best friend ’cause I like you.”
Ellie: (while wearing a grass skirt) “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Look, Mom! I’m doin’ the ‘Hallelujah Dance!’” (I think she meant ‘hula.’)
Me: “Zach, please don’t eat food off the van floor.”
Zach: “I’m not eating; I’m chewing.”
Me: “What are you chewing?”
Zach: “Food.”
Ellie: “That’s why I’m the big sister, Mom. ‘Cause I always know just what to do for little brothers.”
Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks for April
Me: “Are you going toot-toot with your bottom?”
Zach: “No, it’s just gas.”
Ellie: “I had a bad dream.”
Me: “Really? What was it about?”
Ellie: “I don’t know because it didn’t come true.”
Zach, giggling while peeing on the floor: “Mom-my! My juice is coming out!”
Me: “Your friends cannot come over to play until your room is clean. Do you understand?”
Ellie: “I understand, Mom. I’ll just go to their house.”
Me: “Ellie, you need to go upstairs and get your clothes.”
Ellie: (laying her head sweetly in my lap) “Mommy, I have an idea! How ’bout I get my shoes and you get my clothes?”
Me: “Where are you shoes?”
Ellie: “Upstairs. We can go together!”
Me: “Okay.” (I run upstairs only to hear Isabel yelling from the bottom of the stairs …)
Ellie: “Mommy, you can get my shoes, too, if you want to.”
Me: “Zach, you wanna watch Strawberry Shortcake?”
Zach: “No! It’s too girly!”
Me: “How ’bout A Bug’s Life?”
Zach: “No, it’s too scary.”
Me: “Finding Nemo?”
Zach: “No, Mom. It’s too WET!”
Zach: “These shoes are too squeezy.”
Ellie: “I want a baby sister so I have someone to push around.” (I think she means in a stroller, but we’re not entirely sure!)
Zach: “Hey! I’m not crying any more! I think I’m happy now!”
