Category Archives: Ellie-isms
Mama Loves: Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks
I may have the funniest kids in the country. I love it! Here are some of the summer’s best quotes.
Zach: “I’m done with my wake-up nap now.”
Me: “What’s a ‘wake-up nap?’”
Zach: “It’s when you’re talking but you still need to be woken and after a little you’re awake. It’s a wake-up nap, Mom.”
Ellie: “Flour comes from the mill. The farmer takes it to the mill and they turn it into flour.”
Me: “That’s right! Where did you learn that?”
Ellie: “Oh, I just had it in mind. I’m really smart — are I’m?”
Zach: “I was sinking that we should — “
Ellie: “Zach. It’s not SINKing; it’s DINKing! Hear that T-H sound? Dink. Dink, dink, dink.”
Ellie, singing: “A-O mountain high, A-O valley low, A-O river wide in love. If you need me, call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far.”
Zach, also singing: “‘Cause babies say A-O mountain high in love! A-O mountain low in love! A-O river wide in love to keep me from getting to you!”
Ellie: “Can we go to Disney God Tom today?”
Translation: Can we visit Disney.com?
Zach: “You gotta look!! I did a pepper-salt!”
Translation: I did a somersault.
Ellie: “Mom, you make a really nice waitress.”
Zach: “Bye-bye, peepee! Have a great adventure! (Then in a higher, funny voice) I will! I’ll send you a picture! Bye-bye, you silly boy! (Back to his normal voice) Ha ha! I miss you already!”
Me: “Ellie, you are insufferable.”
Ellie: “You mean I’m a genius.”
An attempted Scripture reading
What follows is an actual dialog from bedtime. Please note that my children have heard this story several times. They’ve even seen it acted out by vegetables.
Me, reading from the NIrV, starting at Joshua 5:13: “‘When Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him. The man was holding a sword.’“
Zach: “A sword?! Like a pirate?”
Ellie: “No. It was Jesus. It’s always Jesus.”
Me: “It was an angel. (Back to Scripture) The man holding the sword ‘was ready for battle. Joshua went up to him. He asked, “Are you on our side? Or are you on the side of our enemies?” “I am not on either side,” he replied. “I have come as the commander of the LORD’s army.” Then –’“
Ellie: “See. It’s Jesus.”
Me: “He’s not Jesus. ‘Then Joshua fell with his face to the ground. He asked the man, “What message does my Lord have for me?” The commander of the LORD’s army replied, “Take off your sandals. The place you are standing on is holy ground.”‘“
Zach: “Did he fall?”
Me: “What?”
Ellie: “No, Zach. He just took off his shoes ’cause Jesus told him to.”
Me: “He’s not Jesus, baby. He’s an angel.”
Zach: “I think he has stinky feet.”
Me: “‘So Joshua took them off. The gates of Jericho were –’“
Ellie: “Wait! Jericho? We have that movie!”
Me: “Yes, we do. ‘The gates of Jericho were shut tight and guarded closely because of the people of Israel. No one went out. No one came in.’“
Zach: “Were they stuck?”
Me: “‘Then the LORD spoke to Joshua. He said, “I have handed Jericho over to you. I have also handed its king and its fighting men over to you.”‘“
Ellie: “They were fighting?”
Me: “Well, they were fighting men. Like an army.”
Zach: “An army of pirates?”
Me: “No, not pirates.”
Ellie: “What does that mean?”
Me: “What?”
Ellie: “Handing fight-y men.”
Me: “Well, it means that God gave the land and the people to Joshua because — “
Zach: “They can fix things.”
Me: ” — Joshua found favor with God. He obeyed God, so — “
Zach: “Like Handy Manny.”
Me: ” — God took the land away from the people who disobeyed Him.”
Ellie: “Oh.”
Me: “‘”March around the city once with all of your fighting men. In fact, do it for six days.”‘“
Zach: “SIX DAYS?!”
Ellie: “Whoa. That’s a lot.”
Zach: “That’s like THIS many!” (He held up ten fingers.)
Me: “‘“Have seven priests get trumpets that — “‘“
Zach: “Trumpets? I LOVE trumpets! And drums.”
Ellie: “Me too! I love guitars and pianos.”
Me: “‘” … trumpets that are made out of ram’s horns. They must carry them in front of the ark. On the seventh –‘”
Ellie: “The ark?!”
Me: “It’s not Noah’s ark.”
Ellie: “Oh, I know. It’s Joseph’s ark.”
Zach: “I like arks.”
Ellie: “Or is it Moses’ ark?”
Me: “It’s the ark of the covenant. It was — well — let’s just finish the story.”
Ellie: “An ark is a boat, Mom.”
Zach: “Pirates live on boats.”
Me: “I know an ark is a boat, but this is a different kind of ark. It carried the laws of God and — “
Zach: “I like boats.”
Me: “Let’s keep reading. “‘On the seventh day, march around the city seven times. Have the priests blow the trumpets as you march — “‘“
Zach: “Hey, look. Pooh is naked!” (He had removed the red shirt from his plush Winnie the Pooh.)
Ellie: “Pooh is naked!” (They both erupted in laughter.)
Me: “And so they did everything that God said and the walls fell down. ‘So the Lord was with Joshua. And Joshua became famous everywhere in the land.’“
Ellie: “Famous. Wow. I want to be famous.”
Me: “Okay, baby. Get in bed.”
Ellie: “I’m going to be on TV.”
Zach: “And I’m going to be a naked pirate!”
May Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
Here are a few quotes from the month of May. I’m also giving a few of Zach’s additions to our family dictionary. He likes to turn sound effects into verbs. I love it.
Me: “Do you want to take your bath with Ellie or by yourself?”
Zach: “I want to take a bath yesterday.” (He means “tomorrow.”)
Ellie, upon seeing downed wires: “Wow. There must be a really fat bird around here somewhere.”
Ellie: “How cute do I look?”
Me, after seeing Ellie jump and dance in the aisles at Payless: “Honey, do you need to go potty?”
Ellie: “No. I just love shoes SOOOO MUCH!!!”
Zach’s Dictionary:
- Boop (verb) to push a button, as in “When I boop these buttons on my cell phone, I call Grandma.”
- Hip (verb) to jump low; (noun) a half- hop, as in “Did you see me hip over that rope?”
- Rum (verb) to rev an engine, as in “All racecars rum.”
- Dead (verb) to kill, as in “Watch me dead that bug!”
April Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
Here’s your monthly dose of Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks. I must warn you: Zach definitely ruled this month with his kid quotes. He is hysterical! But Ellie collected her crown for drama and funny faces. I love it. ENJOY!
Zach: “I’m faster than a race car, and you’re slower than a slow race car.”
Grandma: “Can I have one of your cars?”
Zach: “If it’s way cool, then it’s not for you.”
Zach, while riding his bike: “I am stronger than this hill!”
Zach, also while riding his bike: “Look at me. I’m going allegro!”
Ellie: “When I grow up, I’m going to have five children. No — NINETY-five children!”
Ellie: “I wish this park had a ‘No Dogs’ sign. TWO?! 
That’s too much. I’m going to make signs for this park!”
Ellie: “Mommy, look at your daughter’s face. Does she look happy or sad about what you just said?”
Zach: “Mama, look who’s sticking their tongue out and wants to go to sleep.”
Ellie: “Look who’s not sticking their tongue out and wants to go to the mall.”
Zach: “I know what these are for. This knife is for cutting boxes and those scissors are for cutting paper and paper covers rock!”
Ellie, with swollen and itchy eyes, thanks to seasonal allergies: “I like life better when I don’t feel like this.”
Zach, upon seeing our pollen-covered car: “Oh, no. Mom, the sun pooped on our car.”
March Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
Happy April! The first of the month means a review of the last. Here are some of my favorite kid quotes from March. Enjoy!
Ellie: “I put chopsticks on my lips all the time when they’re dry.”
(This is not about dry chopsticks, but rather dry lips and chapstick.)
Zach: “Daddy’s a boy and Ben is a boy and I’m a boy. I think that means Ben and Ellie’s brother are TWINS!!”
Ellie: “I have an idea for a new project! We take celery and pop on a head, and it’s a camel! Camels say ‘uuuuuurrrrr!!’ U-R urrrrrrr. Do camels have legs?”
Me: “Oh, no. A bird pooped on the car.”
Ellie: “Are we allowed to say bird poop?”
Me: “Well — “
Zach: “POOP! Poopy! Poopy! Poopy! Poopy! Poopy! BIRD POOP!”
Ellie: “Mom, I need to go to bed now. I have five things I’m sick about today. One: my eyes are itchy, and I can’t see. Two: my ears are funny, and I can’t hear well during the night. Three: I can’t smell well. Four: I have a teef-cut. And five: my fingernails are a little bit hurty.”
(It’s allergy season. I’m not sure what a “teefcut” is, but I think it has something to do with biting her cheek. Maybe.)
Zach: “But I’m not tired because — One: I’m hungry. And, two: I don’t want to.”
(Obviously, counting is a big deal around here.)
Zach: “Only pee-pee came out. I think my poopy went to the library in my tummy. He’ll go downstairs later when he’s ready to come out.”
(I have no idea where he got the idea for compartmentalizing his body, but I think it’s so funny! We call our upstairs loft “the library”, so maybe … yeah, I don’t know.)
Me: “Ellie, what do you want to wear today?”
Ellie: “Oh, Mom, I can’t! My mind and my thinking mind are fighting, so I can’t think.
Me: “Huh? What are they fighting about?”
Ellie: “My mind and my thinking mind … (grunt) want a clean basketball, but … oh! They can’t get the mud … My thinking mind … and then my walking mind said — (grunt) … Ah, that’s better.
Me, laughing: “Are you okay?”
Ellie: “Yeah. I want to wear my Tinkerbell shirt, but my eating mind wants some peanuts. Can I have some peanuts?”
And in case anyone has doubts about sinful nature, this is what my cherubs said yesterday:
Zach: “We need to find money.”
Me: “Why?”
Zach: “To put in our piggy banks.”
Ellie: “And we found LOTS!”
Zach: “Yup, yup.”
Me: “Where?”
Ellie: “In your room!”
Zach: “You gots lots of purses!”
Ellie, conspiratorially whispered as they walked away: “Don’t let Mommy interfere. We’re gonna steal all her monies!”
Zach, with a menacing laugh: “Yeah! You look in her guitar and I’ll check her shoes. Ha, ha, ha!”
Mama Loves: Blatant honesty
Mama Loves is my weekly exercise in positive blogging. Learn more at this post.
This week reminded me how much Mama loves blatant honesty.
Anyone who has ever spent time around preschoolers or knows anyone who has knows they speak their minds. No internal censor exists. What they see and think is what you get. I love it. Sure, a little tact might be nice once in a while, but they have plenty of time to learn that. For now, I find it refreshing to be around people who say exactly what they observe. Here are some of my favorites from this week.
Ellie: “Mommy, you have hair all over skin! Your body’s covered with it, just like Grandpa.”
Ellie: “Mama, you’ve got lots of freckles. I don’t like freckles. Maybe you should put make-up on those.”
Zach, while patting my thigh: “You’re so jiggly.”
Zach: “Please stop singing. You’re giving me a headache.”
Yup. There’s nothing like a couple preschoolers to tell it like it is. A perfectly wonderful humbling experience.
Kid Quotes for February
It’s time for this month’s issue of Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks. Enjoy!
Ellie: “I know just about everything except for how old you are.”
Zach, while watching the garbage men: “They are just the coolest mans EVER!”
Ellie: “Only three more sleeps ’til Granny gets here!”
Zach, just before starting a new art project: “I’m gonna go stamp it up.”
Ellie: “I have a great idea. On Saturday when I come down the stairs you all jump and say ‘Surprise! Happy birthday!’ and then I will say ‘Oh, thank you! I’m so surprised!’ and I’ll be so happy. Isn’t that a good idea?”
Zach: “Let’s have a race.”
Ellie: “Okay.”
Both: “One …”
Zach: “THREE! I win!!”
Zach: “Oh, look at this koala. He’s SO CUTE! He has pink snots.”
Translation: “I really like the pink nostrils in this illustration of a koala.”
Ellie: “When Granny gets here she’s going to sleep in my room. I want her to sleep in my spot where I usually sleep and I’ll sleep on the other side of my bed where I sleep when there’s too much pee-pee on my favorite side.”
Zach: “Mommy, I burped.”
Me: “You did? Why did you do that?”
Zach: “I’m a boy, Mom. That’s just what boys do.”
Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks: January 09
Blame it on Ruthie dying or me switching websites, but I can’t find a complete list of kid quotes for January. Here is an abridged version including some additions to our family dictionary.
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Ellie: (sung to the tune of “Deep and Wide”) Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth every day. If you don’t, you won’t die but you’ll have to go to the dentist!”
Zach: (This was after being told to put away the toys in his room.) “Um, Mom? I’m Zach. Did you forget? I’m not a cleaning boy; I’m Zach.”
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Dictionary Additions:
Postibull: This can mean either “possible” or “hospital” depending on the context. For example, “Mama, I don’t think it’s postibull for us to go to the postibull today.”
Good Five: High-five, often encouraged after someone has completed a job successfully. “Mama, I put away my toys. Come give me a good five!”
Bungled: This means a connection or the past tense act of connecting, usually in reference to trains (Thomas and Friends). For example, “Thomas and James bungled up to the troublesome trucks.”
Boing off: A verb, this phrase means to jump. “Mama, I want to boing off myself.” In other words, don’t help me jump. It can also be followed by a direct object, like this: “Ellie, let’s go boing off the couch. Shhh … don’t tell Mommy!”
December Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks
Ellie, while holding an angel high over the Nativity, Thomas and other train friends: “Attention, engines and people! Behold, a savior has been born; He is Christ the Lord! Engines and people! Sing ‘Glory to God in the highest!’”
Zach: “Wow, Mom, dogs REALLY like milk! Wait — that’s a cow.”
Ellie: “Um, Mom? I was trying to listen to you read that book, but the Christmas tree is so big and beautiful, and it sticks up above the top of the book. So I decided to look at the tree instead of looking at the book. I hope you don’t mind.”
Zach: “Let’s play Under Britches!”
Translation: “Let’s play London Bridge.”
Zach: “RUFFA-BUM-BUM!”
Zach repeatedly shouted this all month in a very manly voice (well, as manly as a three-year-old can). “Little Drummer Boy” is by far Zach’s favorite Christmas song.
Zach: “Mom, what are you doing in here? You know this is Daddy’s fix-it shop – right? I don’t think he would want you in here, ’cause you don’t know how to fix anything and you might get cut and I don’t want to see your guts.”
Ellie: “There’s a bug in my room! C’mon, Mom.”
Zach: “I got the scissors. Everyone got your sharp stuff? We’ll cut that bug!”
Me: “Wait – what?”
Ellie: “Mom, you get a paper towel. Me and Zach got the scissors. Let’s go, brave people! Let’s go get that bug.”
Zach: “Brave people to the rescue!”
Ellie: “I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here ’cause this is vacation and I’m a vacation girl.”
Zach: “It’s aggrieved!”
He shouts this whenever he and Ellie agree on something.
Zach, upon seeing my new guitar: “Wait, Mom! Don’t touch anything.” Three minutes later he returned with his drum. “Are you ready to rock? Let’s jam!”
November Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks
Zach: “Ellie, I know a song so you won’t be sad. (The following was sung to the tune of Jingle Bells.) Tinkerbell and Isabel. Tinker, tinker, Isabel. Isabel and Tinkerbell!!”
Ellie: “Oh, Zach! Thank you for singing me that song. It makes my heart SO happy!”
Zach: “Me and Mommy, me and Mommy and I pick you!” (Zach’s version of “Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe.”)
Ellie: “I don’t think the boys will like how it smells in here. I think we should stop breathing when someone toots.”
Zach: “Daddy said not to whine, so I’m going to go to sleep.”
Ellie, after seeing Christmas decorations on street lamps: “MOM! We gotta talk to somebody. The whole town forgot about Thanksgiving!!”
Ellie: “I love this show. I just love it! It makes me want to cry a happy cry.”
