Category Archives: Ellie-isms
Recent Kid Quotes
Zach: “I love you the same as you love me. Like a steak as big as our house, but cut into lots and lots of little tiny pieces. Like this. (He held up his fingers about half an inch apart.) That’s how much I love you.”
Zach, while cleaning out the lint trap in the dryer: “This stuff is so warm! It cozy, too. We should make this into a something. Mom, do you know how to make sweaters? Sweaters are warm and cozy.”
Me: “I don’t know how to make sweaters. Aunt Beth does.”
Zach: “That’s great! We should talk to her. She can make a pretty, warm, cozy sweater for us. So we can’t throw this out until you talk to her.”
Note: If you look deep enough in the corner of his closet you will find a growing collection of dryer lint.
Zach: “I like helping you, Mama.”
Me: “I’m glad.”
Zach: “I like helping you because I’m getting a headache from you saying the same thing all the time.”
Ellie: “His name is Monster Yodel — “
Me: “It’s Master Yoda.”
Ellie: “Right. His name is Monster Yodel because he yodels a lot.”
Zach: “Read you will?”
Ellie: “Yodelers always talk backwards.”
Zach: “You know, I’m not really nocturnal. That’s a secret I’ve kept for a long time.”
Progress Report & Indoctrination Attempts
My girl is back in school!! Woo-hoo. 
She’s still not 100%, but she’s well enough to return to classes, which is good enough for me. All our preparations are moving along just fine. The refrigerator is clean. (In another word: empty.) All of our laundry is done. (I’ve never in my life experienced this phenomenon. It’s kinda weird.) We still have packing and general house cleaning, but I’m feeling good.
Actually, I’m feeling really ache-y and a little sinus-head thing going on, but I refuse to surrender. It’s mind over matter – right? And what matters today is that I rejoice in all the good things God has done for us. We are flooded by grace and swimming in blessings, so I will not complain. Not one tiny bit.
I want to share with you something else about all our preparations: indoctrination attempts.
We have always been rather conservative about what our kids see and do, in particular with entertainment. (Okay, all my friends who live nearby can stop laughing now!) While I don’t regret sheltering my children from popular culture, we realized this resulted in our kids being rather ignorant (in some cases completely ignorant) of many of the characters and stories they’ll see at Disney World. So we began a condensed indoctrination program. I haven’t had them watching all the movies, but we have talked about characters and stories and things like that. I don’t want them running up to Grumpy and calling him Doc or confusing Mulan with Pocahontas. Sometimes it’s the little things.
And sometimes those little things can be quite amusing.
Here two conversations I’ve enjoyed recently.
Me: “Okay, so that’s the story of Aladdin and Jasmine. Do you guys know who Anastasia is?”
Ellie: “She’s your computer friend’s daughter! From facebook, right? She’s soooo cuuuuute. I love her.”
Me: “Well, that’s true, but I’m talking about a different Anastasia. This Anastasia was a Russian princess.”
Zach: “I know what that means. That means she was in a hurry! Why was she in a hurry, Mom?”
Part of our “conservative discernment” has also included commercials and movie previews. (Again, friends! Stop making fun of me!) The first time our kids saw an actual commercial (and this was about a year ago — yes, my kids are 5 and almost 7), they both started screaming that the TV was broken. I loved it. Recently, though, I’ve let them watch the previews at the beginning of certain movies we own. Such was the case this weekend.
TV Announcer: “Coming to video Fall of 2007!”
Ellie: “I have to wait THAT LONG?!”
Sweet, sweet innocence.
Like this:
You gotta love a girl with choices.
Ellie has been planning her wedding all summer. Technically, she’s been planning her wedding for about three years now, but this summer has been special because she had a specific groom in mind.
DeAndre may or may not know what his future holds, but sweet Ellie hasn’t a doubt. She has chosen their kids’ names (Max and Joole, which is pronounced like Julie) and the color of their house (pink with a green door, because his favorite color is green). She knows they’ll eat lobster and lots and lots of shrimp at their wedding, which, of course, will be held in a castle. She will have a giant diamond and the biggest, most princessy dress you’ve ever seen.
Now that fall has arrived, things have changed. She’s in a new school with new students. We had this conversation yesterday.
Ellie: “Mom, you’ll never guess. There’s a boy in my class named Ryan. He sits next to me and burps through his nose all the time. Oh, and I love him.”
Me: “Wait — what?”
Ellie: “I’m going to marry him.”
Me: “Because he burps through his nose?!”
Zach: “What about DeAndre? I thought you were going to marry him.”
Ellie: “Huh. (big smile) I guess I have choices!”
How My Children Keep Me Humble
In addition to being a nurse, cook, maid and therapist, mothers often need to be dictionaries. I am constantly defining words for my kids. Recently they asked me what “humble” means. I explained that being humble is to know exactly who you are. You don’t think too much nor too little of yourself. I also told them that God wants us to be humble by knowing who He is and who we are before Him.
It seems they’ve taken this lesson to heart and, always my little helpers, have decided to encourage my humility.
Here are a few conversations we’ve had lately.
Zach: “Do you know who is the very best mama in the whole wide world?”
Me, welling with pride at the expected answer: “Who?”
Zach: “Grandma!”
Ellie: “I want to be a writer when I grow up.”
Zach: “What’s a writer?”
Ellie: “It’s what Mommy does.”
Zach: “Write books?”
Ellie, laughing: “No, silly! Mommy doesn’t write BOOKS; she writes EMAILS! She READS books.”
Zach: “I love all mommies. Mommies are the BEST!! (long pause) Even you, Mom.”
Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks
It’s been a while, so some of these kid quotes may be months old, but they still make me smile. I did change the names of innocents involved, specifically those of the kids’ teachers. Enjoy!
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Zach: “I think I hear a thinking coming into my head!”
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Ellie, singing the Star Spangled Banner: “O-oh, say can you see by the doctorly light what so proudly we hail as the die lie, we reading …”
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Zach: “Mrs. Smith has a family. She didn’t tell me, but I know this because my brain went to Mrs. Brown’s house. Mrs. Smith’s brain was there too, and I asked her and then my brain came back before we woke up from nap time. Did you know that my brain can leave my head? It does! See this door? (pointing between his eyebrows) That’s how it gets out. It always comes back. That’s good – isn’t it?”
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Ellie: “I get to be Betsy Ross in the program! She sews the American flag. I don’t have a speaking part, though. Mrs. Jones said all I have to do is look pretty. I’m really good at that!”
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THE NEWEST ADDITIONS TO THE ZACH AND ELLIE DICTIONARY:
- Arm-in-oar (noun): A creature that eats everything
Ellie: “I love being an arm-in-nor because I like trees (a.k.a. broccoli) and shrimp!” - Be-member (verb): to recall something forgotten
Zach: “Mommy, be-member you said we would go to the park.” - Cannon-hole (noun): a big, splashy dive into the pool (Zach calls this a “Run-and-fun.”)
- Carnival (noun): A creature that only eats meat
- Creditor (noun): A creature that preys on other creatures
Zach: “Creditors are dinosaurs that want to eat you. T-Rexes are my favorite.” - Frickle (verb): the rising act a bandage makes when adhered over a joint
Ellie: “This band-aid frickles too much.” - Her-vi-bor (noun): A creature that only eats plants
Zach, singing: “I’m a hungry, hungry her-vi-bor! Plants are what I’m hungry for!”
Recent Kid Quotes
Me: “Is that your writing hand?”
Zach: “When I have chips in my hand it is.”
Me: “What would you like for lunch?”
Ellie: “Do we have any strawberries?”
Me: “No. Sorry, babe.”
Ellie, looking into the refrigerator: “Hmmm … what else can I dip into chocolate?”
Zach, praying: “Thank you, God, for Daddy and Ellie and Grandma and Grandpa. And please help Mommy to work faster.”
Me: “Why do you two always wait until I’m ready to eat to tell me something you want?”
Zach: “‘Cause we like you to eat last.”
And overheard at recess …
A 1st grader: “I’m just worried that I’ll do bad in math because of my brain.”
A preschooler: “I just really like boobies.”
And my personal favorite quote of the month comes with visual aids.
From a 5th grader: “Is that Will Ferrell?”
We were watching the pilot movie of Little House on the Prairie. What do you think? Do you see a resemblance?
I guess I can see Ferrell playing a spoof of Charles Ingalls … I wonder who would be Mrs. Oleson?
Mama Loves & a couple Kid Quotes
This week I have been fully overwhelmed by the love I have for my kids. No, more than that. It’s like God has shown me in greater detail what an honor it is to be a mom. When I think about them, about the intense privilege it is to know them, to witness their growth (even if I do complain about its exponential rate) … emotion saturates my being. I told someone this week that it’s like Christmas every day. Being a mom, watching my kids learn and discover who God made them to be, it’s like every day I get a new present to open. I never know what it will be, and if I close my eyes or my heart I might miss it, but when I catch it opening … Wow.
I have no idea what God will do with these kids. Ellie has such a generous, compassionate heart. Zach is so witty, so funny and yet perfectly focused on details. He’s my cuddly little man, and she’s my sweet little mama. They both love one another to pieces. I watch them fight to bruises and blood over a junk Happy Meal toy, but the next minute they swear eternal devotion and protection to each other. God has taught me so much through them — about Him, about His power, about me, about love, about commitment, about grace and forgiveness.
Mama loves being a mama.
On a completely different note, I forgot to keep track of the December Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks. Here, however, are a few from this week.
Winter Dictionary
- flirting = snowing lightly — ie: “Mama, look! It’s flirting outside!”
- eggma = eggnog — ie: “Zach can’t drink eggma because it makes him spit up.”
- Ho Ho Ho = Santa Claus — ie: “I just saw a statue of Ho Ho Ho and Ho Ho’s wife!”
- I’m really true! = I’m not lying.
And here’s a story retold by Grandma. Since I didn’t witness this Ellie-ism, I may not quote it perfectly. Rick’s parents surprised us by taking the kids and treating us to dinner for our anniversary. While we were out, this is what Ellie shared.
“Grandma, can you keep a secret? I know what Mama and Daddy do after we go to bed! Don’t tell anyone. They study the Bible!”
November Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
It’s the first of the month! Time for the previous month’s best kid quotes. ENJOY!
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Zach: “Barnes and Noble makes me happy.”
Me, trying to catch a housefly: “Where’s the fly?”
Zach: “I don’t know. I was clapping, but he didn’t come to me.”
Ellie, as we drive past the Nabisco factory: “Mommy, what is that wonderful smell? I (sniff) … I just (sniff) … I just CAN’T STOP SMELLING IT!!”
Zach: “Mommy, I like your nails. They’re good at opening things! And they’re part of your body. I guess that means I like your body.”
Ellie, singing: “I know God the bellybutton!” (This is from VeggieTales’ silly song in which Larry, Mr. Lunt, Jerry and Jimmy pretend to be N’Sync and lament “I don’t got a bellybutton!”)
Me, pointing to jelly on Zach’s bare chest: “What’s that?
Zach, pointing to his nipple and speaking to me in a very “Duh, Mom!” tone: “That’s my dark skin button.”
Zach: “Her was talking so loudly that all of my thinkings went out of my head! And now I have no thinkings.”
Ellie has been making up worship songs and memory verses lately. Here are a couple of the “memory verses.”
“Thank God for the things He does. Ellie 56:1:233″
“Be great to others and good to yourself. Ellie 4:92″
October Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks
Me: “What is this fuzz? Are you growing something between your toes?”
Zach: “Um … yeah. It sounded like a good idea.”
Ellie: “Daniella has this same shirt! She wore it on Monday.”
Me: “Today is Monday.”
Ellie: “Yeah! That means me and Daniella are the same and that makes us dental twins!”
Ellie: “Um, Mom? What exactly is the point of apple-picking if we don’t actually pick any apples?”
Zach: “I’m pretending my underpants are an elevator.” (I’m sure you can imagine what that looked like!)
Ellie: “Boys have penises, but I have a ah-jine-ya.”
Me: “Vagina.”
Ellie: “Right. Vagina. Just like China. VAGINA CHINA!” (It was quite a victorious shout, kind of like a battle cry.)
Ellie: “T-Rexes eat meat. We are meat.”
Ellie: “What?! Mom, did you know that elephants have over 100 puzzles in their trunk?!”
Me: “You are not being nice. You keep kicking and hitting and kicking and hitting. You need to stop or we won’t play any more.”
Ellie: “Hey! That’s a pattern!”
Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
Ellie, singing: “I lo-ove you, orange juice, because you have vitami-i-i-i-i-ins!”
Ellie: “This peach is so delicious and healthy; it makes me want to run outside.”
Zach: “The guy from the pretend A&P just gave me a hundred and ninety-six dollar hot dog for ninety-six dollars! He didn’t even look at the sign!! I looked at the sign and it said “Six one.” Can you believe it?”
Ellie: “My mom and dad are so old. I’m sure they’ll get sick soon and then I’ll have to find someone to adopt me. (turning to me) Hey, Mom! Will you die next week? Do you think Grandma will adopt me?”
Zach: “… seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, two-dee –”
Me: “Twenty.”
Zach: “Mommy, you’re so silly! Two-dee-one, two-dee-two, two-dee-free …”
Ellie: “What are we having for dinner?”
Me: “Chicken.”
Ellie: “Bar-be-que chicken?”
Me: “No, just seasoned chicken.”
Ellie: “Does it grow in all seasons or just summer?”
Now I don’t have exact quotes on this, but a new form of Zach Attack has been his rules. He makes these really funny and rather strict rules about random things.
For example …
“I don’t believe in God because He starts with G and I don’t like Gs today. I only like Gs on Wednesdays. I’ll believe in God on Wednesday.”
Or
“My teacher said we can’t bring any fruit to school for snacks. The rule is we only bring chips or candy.”
Another one:
“I only eat vegetables on Saturday. But I’ll eat broccoli on Tuesday because I like green on Tuesdays.”
