Category Archives: details
No strength in numbers (Little Laws, Part 2)
Five different law firms have contacted me regarding my “legal difficulties”, my “pending charges”, my “summons” which may lead to “serious penalties … and possible incarceration.” I feel like such a criminal. (Please hear the hint of sarcasm in that statement.) I mean, c’mon! It’s a traffic ticket!
I’ve posted the documentation on our fridge for all to see. It’s my first ticket. I’m proud. Okay, proud is not the word for it. Perhaps “denial” is better. Rick asked me what I planned to do with it. I relayed the instructions the officer gave me. Plead not guilty, then talk to the prosecutor who would grant me grace based on my flawless record. This prevents a fine, raised insurance rates, points on my license and a permanent mark on my record. All I have to do is show up in court. Rick gave me one of his looks, the one that makes me feel as clever as saran wrap and equally transparent. “But you’re guilty.”
“Yeah, I know, but he said –” 
“You’re guilty. Pay the fine.”
We’re all guilty of something. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or it’s little; we’re still guilty. Being guilty is not the problem. Trying to convince ourselves and everyone else we’re not guilty is the problem. We look for loop-holes. We seek to find a way around the consequences. I know I’m guilty. I admit it freely. Hey – I’ve announced it to the world on this website! In spite of my admission, I still want to avoid punishment.
No matter what the offense, we can find many who are eager to help us with our self-denial. These five letters represent more than fifteen attorneys eager to help me look innocent. I’ve been told how easy it is to just “get out of it,” with little or no thought to truth. Everybody does it. It’s not a big deal. I’d be saving myself money! I was convinced. Only one person looked me in the eye and made me face the truth.
Now, I did something wrong and found many who would help me continue to be wrong. This disproportionate support can also exist when we do something right.
I’m currently reading Hearing God’s Voice by Henry and Richard Blackaby. They tell a story of a man who, when he was a teen, felt called to missions. He went on to medical school where he was so successful, he was offered a prestigious position in research after graduation. His friends and family all saw this as God’s blessing. Meanwhile, this young man wasn’t sure. He still felt drawn to missions, but because of the encouragement of all his loved ones, he took the job. Years later, married, with children and settled in a comfortable life, he still wondered about that calling on his life. Had he made the right decision?
Sometimes we’re going down the wrong road. We’ve made mistakes and we need to correct our steps. Sometimes we’re on the right road, but we get distracted by what we see down side streets. In either situation, we will be surrounded by people who want to help us, whether they know what’s right or not. Numbers are irrelevant. God’s ways do not work by “majority rules.” God rules. He’s the only One that matters and that’s all we need to know. Our paths need only follow His. The throng of voices is silenced in the wake of His still, small whisper. So, listen for His voice. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Saturate yourself with His Word and then just listen to be sure you’re walking in truth.
The funny thing is when we walk in truth, those herds of people shouting directions stop and watch. I’m always amazed at people’s reactions when I do something right, but rare — like returning to pay for clothes that were in my bag, but not listed on my receipt or correcting cashiers when they give me too much change. They’re shocked! In this world, people don’t often see the Truth in action. They’ll watch and they’ll respect when they see it. So, go ahead — give ‘em a show.
What a great day!
The day started at 6 am. Two little kids wide awake, one eager for her first day of school. Actually, it wasn’t her first day — rather, her open house. It was the day she would meet her teachers and see her classroom for the first time. It was the day she would see who would soon be her best friends and classmates. It was the day she had waited for all summer long. Welcome to preschool, baby!
Just a worm and a leaf
Isabel returns from the bathroom, her pants around her knees. “It just be a worm.” What she means to say is “false alarm.” I know I should correct her, but I just can’t. Instead I smile and relish her innocence, knowing it won’t last long.
Yesterday, while on our walk, the kids discovered the first signs of autumn: a red leaf! Actually, we found a handful. Cooler temperatures reigned this week, in spite of the calendar claiming it’s still August. Our found-treasure proves summer is quickly coming to an end. Fall is inevitable. Gone are the days of time well wasted … Isabel starts school in less than two weeks! Before we know it we’ll be picking apples, wearing sweatshirts and preparing for the holidays.
This all reminds me of Mark Lowry. I saw him in concert years ago. I remember well two things from that concert: (1) he said he would probably get married when he was thirty-three because “the Lord laid down his life when He was thirty-three” and (2) his favorite verse was “And it came to pass.” The audience and I waited for the rest of the verse, but that was it. Mark exclaimed: “Isn’t that great?!” He went on to explain that nothing is here to stay. Everything in this life is here for a limited time. It all will pass – the good, the bad … all of it! This is what I’m thinking about today.
And this is my encouragement to you: Savor the moments to be treasured, like the too-soon-forgotten phrases of childhood. They will pass in the blink of an eye. And don’t fret over the trials for they, too, shall pass. Yes, summer is coming to an end and winter is on its way, but winter will pass just as quickly. The best part: God is with us in the summers and the winters. He counts each leaf that falls and captures our tears in jars. May our laughter be stored in warehouses!
Ellie-isms, Zach Attacks and Momese
The Ellie-isms are late! July was a month of quotes not just from our dramatic princess, but from the whole family. So, this month we’ve got a collection of Ellie-isms, Zach Attacks and Momese!
Isabel: “Only grown-ups can play with fire – right, Mom?”
Zach, ever so pensive: “I tink water is wet.”
Isabel: “Them look like balls, but them is ashley marbles.” (Translation: ashley = actually)
Zach’s favorite joke: “Hey, I know!”
Me (or Rick): “What do you know?”
Zach: “A cow!” He then bursts out laughing. If you get the joke, please explain it to me. In the meantime, I love watching him tell it.
Ellie to Aunt Tracy: “Auntie, Auntie! I fell down and Mommy and Daddy and Zach take me to the hostibol and I got stickers on my chin! (Translation: We went to the hospital to get stitches.)
Me to Zach, who was in the tub: “Please, don’t color your penis.”
Me to Isabel: “Stop dancing naked in front of the garbage men!!”
Zach: “Mommy, I tink Daddy in charge.”
Ellie to Rick after he killed a spider: “Thanks, Dad! You’re my big, strong, get-rid-of-bugs guy.”
Our budding artist
I am so proud of our Isabel! We’ve been working on her letters. Every day she wants to play “school.” We picked up some great workbooks and such from Amazon. She LOVES them! Sometimes kids can do things you didn’t realize they could. Her drawing is one of those “wow!” things for me. I knew she loved to color. I knew she could make some shapes — circles and crosses; lines and dots — but I didn’t believe she was really making pictures until this weekend.
I watched as she narrated this drawing. You’ll see I labeled everything when she was done … ears, eyes, mouth, feet and hands. It may not look like much, but I was ecstatic!
And, last but certainly not least, she drew a picture of Zach. I love his smile and all his hair!
Just had to share this very proud “mama moment” with all of you!!
If you want to see the pictures a little better, just click. They’ll pop up nice and big. *grin*
Small victories lead to great joy!
For months I have been struggling with two issues: re-learning how to cook and dealing with developmental delays. Both relate directly to our son. Without intention my struggles have found me secretly blaming him (sometimes not so secretly), when it is not his fault! Isabel was soooooooo easy compared to Zach. He has had skin problems, sleeping problems, back-to-back ear infections, food allergies, bronchitis … Parents never want to compare their kids, but sometimes it just happens. But sometimes little victories come and then the joy that results can saturate a soul. This week we had two major victories in both areas of struggle.
Zach is highly allergic to all components of whole milk (this includes all dairy and a ton of other stuff that uses parts of dairy products), eggs and peanuts. Food allergies are noted on a numeric scale. Anything over three is considered “severe”. Zach’s levels are closer to fourteen. The problem is I LOVE dairy!! I love eggs!! Finding food that have neither has been a true challenge for me. It wasn’t such a big deal when he was younger; I just made different food for him than the rest of us. But now he notices and is quite bothered when he doesn’t eat the same as the rest of us. Thus my struggle of re-learning how to cook. This week’s victories? I found Zach-friendly ice cream cones (he can’t eat ice cream, but there are soy alternatives and some sorbets are okay) AND a Zach-friendly recipe for chicken pot pie!! YEAH!! I’m so excited. Praise God for learning curves. I didn’t have to figure this all out in one day — He has eased me into over the past 18 months and counting.
And my other victory for this week really is not mine at all. I’m just a witness, but a very happy one! Zach is walking!!! I cannot tell you how exciting this is. As of today, he is twenty-one months. He officially took his first happy steps last week. Now he’s walking just about everywhere. Not terribly fast, but he gets the job done. I’m thrilled! Over the past six months we have been through state evaluations, neurologist appointments, multiple developmental planning meetings and finally a ton of physical therapy — most of which Zach endured with an ear-piercing scream. This morning his therapist emerged from their session with a huge smile on her face. “He tried stairs!” She even said we can cut back the frequency of our sessions. He has to master stairs before we’re “allowed” to stop therapy all-together. The goal is to have him there before he turns two in August. The end is in sight and my heart is overflowing.
Saturday morning
Indecision runs through the veins of this family. Rick and I will make a choice on paint colors or furniture and shortly thereafter take turns complaining about the result. Isabel will ask for French toast, take two bits and proclaim she wants pancakes instead. Zach is probably the most consistent of us all and even he has moments of choice remorse.
Saturday mornings reveal the pinacle display: breakfast. Being New Yorkers — okay, so technically we’re in Jersey, but our hearts are still in New York – right? Well, some of the time. Saturday mornings personify this indecision in the form of bagels (the New York side of us) or Panera (the Jersey side of us).
This weekend was no different. Rick deferred to me. I deferred to him. Meanwhile we were both starving. Finally, I obnoxiously told him: “Fine. I want eggs Benedict, a Belgian waffle with strawberries and some orange juice.”
Isabel piped up: “I want blueberries and lemonade!”
Half an hour later, Rick returned with exactly that: a huge order of eggs, waffles, hashbrowns, and a huge “short stack” of blueberry pancakes. I was shocked! And overwhelmed by my good fortune. God has blessed me such a good man! Who knew IHOP had take-out?
Even in my obnoxious states, Rick still exceeds my expectations. He goes out of his way to show me he loves me. How much more must God love us?? I am amazed and in awe of the possibilities.
Meanwhile, Isabel complained: “Where’s my lemonade?”
Old Bubbles and Icky Pop-Pops
Isabel was playing with bubbles this morning. I love bubbles. They’re always a huge hit with the kids and so low maintenance. Well, something happened – I don’t remember what, but I do remember it required disciplinary action. I took the bubbles away from Ellie. She, of course, threw a fit. The rule in our house: if you disobey, you lose privileges. Today bubbles were a privilege.
I intended to put the small bottle out of reach, but as I took it from her, I noticed the bottle was actually empty. Instead of putting it up high like we normally do with similarly forfeited toys, I put it in the garbage. This sent Isabel into hysterics. It didn’t make sense to me until I heard her through sobbing hiccups: “Are the bubbles old?”
Old? Well, this brings on a whole new subject. Her statement made sense to me, but I’m sure it doesn’t to you, so let me explain. With two toddlers, hidden food is a part of life. They drop it on the floor, slip it under chairs, tuck it in couch cushions and store it under the TV cabinet. Then later they find these treasures and think they’re some delightful treat for the present. I am constantly saying: “That’s old! Put it in the garbage.” When Isabel saw me put the bubbles in the trash, she translated my act to mean it’s old and you can’t touch it any more.
A couple weeks ago, as we were getting ready for her Pop-Pop’s 82nd birthday party, she said: “Mommy, I don’t like old things. They’re icky.” Again, I think she was referring to food, but … who knows? It was very random; there was no food in sight. I explained how old food was definitely icky, but some old things are nice … like Pop-Pop.
I’m not completely sure where I’m going with this … Just that it’s important to pause before reacting. Take a moment to be sure what’s going on before passing judgment. James says: “Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” (James 1:19, NASB) Otherwise we end up with old bubbles and icky Pop-Pops.
Princess Ellie
Where did “Ellie” come from? Well, as most babies do, she grew in funny proportions. Her belly accounted for all her weight gain for the first few months. Here was this tiny thing with a lovely rotund middle and skinny sticks for arms and legs. Her father thought it appropriate to dub her “Is-a-Belly”. Being one who was called “needle-butt” from infancy through high school, I refused to nickname our child after a body part. We compromised with “Ellie”. It stuck and thus began the family debate.
A few weeks ago, Isabel made her preferences known. Out of nowhere I heard a strong voice proclaim: “My NAME is ISABEL!” After a little discussion another compromise was made. We are now permitted to call her “Ellie”, but only if it is preceded by the necessary title of “Princess”. Otherwise, we are supposed to call her “Isabel”.
I’m actually glad she put her foot down – not necessarily about the princess part, but the rest has forced me to remember why we chose her name in the first place. ‘Isabel’ means ‘consecrated to God’. It was important to me that our children have significant names; names that mean something and will remind me of something. Now that I must call Ellie “Isabel”, I am daily reminded (several times a day!) that she is not mine. She is set apart to God; created to serve Him – and it is my job to prepare her for that purpose!
And Zachary … oh, Zachary! His name means ‘remember the Lord’. His middle name, Luke, means ‘bringer of light’. As I struggle with this strong-willed son of mine, I have no choice but to remember the Lord! My Lord, the Bringer of light … my prayer is one day Zach will be a mighty man of God, bringing the Light to everyone he meets.
Why am I sharing all this with you? Because God has a reason for names. All through Scripture peoples’ names are symbolic, relevant and sometimes ironic. They mean something. God has given us names, too. Here are just a few of the things he calls us:
Saints (Ephesians 2:19) – God’s consecrated people
Friends (John 15:14-15) – close confidants
Children (Galatians 3:25; 1 John 4:7, 5:1) – belonging to and imitating the Father
Heirs (Romans 8:17) – rightful stewards of the King’s riches
Forgiven (Psalm 85:2; Acts 13:38; Ephesians 1:7) – washed clean, blameless
Holy (Ephesians 1:4; Hebrews 12:14) – set apart for a specific purpose
Branches (John 15:5) – growing forth from the Vine (which is Christ)
Body (1 Corinthians 12) – working together, all part of One
We hear these words tossed around all the time, but have we thought about their meaning? Do we live like saints? Are we set apart and holy like we are called to be? Do others view us as forgiven heirs of the King? Hey, maybe Isabel isn’t so far off with her title of princess.
May we, as believers, remember the names God has given us. May we hold tight to their meaning and live to fulfill the expectations set by them.
Keep it in context.
As a mother, several things have escaped my lips that I never expected. I hear the things I say and am so grateful for context. Let me give you a few examples.
“He’s not an animal; he’s your brother!” … Spoken to a frantic Isabel as she ran screaming from Zach who was hopping as fast as possible to catch the “princess”.
“Only Mommy gets to kick Zachary.” … Again, spoken to Isabel, who was kicking Zach from behind. She learned this by watching me. Zachary is a scooter; he’s not walking yet, and when my hands are full, I prod him along with my feet to get him to move where I need him to be.
“Get that stick out of your butt!” … One of my most notorious statements to Zachary … We have a number of popsicle sticks the kids use for crafts and such. He was holding one such stick and, while I attempted to change his diaper, kept putting it down where it shouldn’t have been.
“Can you run? How fast can you run across the parking lot?” … Before I explain this, please note: no one was in danger of being run over. I was simply trying to hurry Isabel along. It was twenty degrees outside and my arms were ready to fall off while carrying Zachary, my purse, a diaper bag and a collection of just-purchased books. Isabel, meanwhile, was taking her time making footprints in the dusting of snow. It was the church parking lot and it was empty.
“We don’t hang things on penises.” … Okay, this one might be a little harder to explain … The kids occasionally take baths together. During one of these baths, Isabel noticed Zach has a penis and she does not. For some reason, she thought it was the perfect place to hang her bath toys. Thus, the instruction.
By themselves, these statements make me sound like a horrible mother and questionable human being! But in context, they sound quite different. Scripture works the same way.
Years ago I found a wedding card that read: “Multiply yourselves like the grasshoppers; multiply like the locusts!” (Nahum 3:15, NIV) One of my favorite verses as a teenager: “Then I turned, and lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a flying roll.” (KJV) There in Zachariah 5:1 we find biblical justification for covering your neighbor’s house with toilet paper. It’s funny when we recognize the lack of context, but sometimes we don’t. Sometimes people encounter a verse and use it for anything they think is applicable. But without the context, you cannot truly understand what was meant.
When Paul said it is better to remain single, he was not preaching against marriage or calling for the end of the human race. In context (1 Corinthians 7) it is clear Paul is encouraging believers to be where God has called them to be. If you can serve God better as a married couple, get married. If you can serve Him better alone, stay single. Context matters.
Let me urge you to follow the context. The Bible is not a book of do-this and don’t-do-that rules. It is a vivid example of how children of God are to live – not just the actions, but the heart. You find the heart in the context. Don’t worry so much about the black and white on the page. Read what is written, of course, but don’t miss the intent.
