Calling all mothers of tweens and teens!
As a reviewer and Managing Editor of Christian Children’s Book Review I read a lot of kids’ books. A LOT. Since we expanded our reviews beyond picture books to chapter books and more, I’ve been reading a lot of teen and tween titles. Some of them are truly tremendous books. I’m really enjoying them! But I haven’t a clue about age-appropriateness.
My problem is two-fold. First, it’s been a long time since I was a teenager. Second, my daughter is six. Neither she nor I hang out with teenagers.
So, I need your help. How do I determine what content and language is age-appropriate?
How do you, mothers of tween and teen girls, decide how much is too much?
This age range of 12-18 is vast. The expanse of development, maturity and topic relevance boggles my mind. Our culture includes underage drinking, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, eating disorders, violence and so much more. At what point does this go from engaging the culture and facing these problems from a Christian perspective to educating and tempting a vulnerable and curious generation?
The title I am currently reading deals with a girl who gets pregnant just before her 15th birthday. It is told in first person and, while it doesn’t include any details of sex or genitalia, it does get inside her head and the personal thoughts she experiences. Is this one of those situations where you need to understand where someone is before you can clearly grasp the gravity of the mistake? Most kids don’t want to read about someone who is younger than them. However, at what age would I let Ellie read this? Do I want 12-, 13- and 14-year-olds reading about a pregnant peer?
I am not trying to start a debate here, but rather an open discussion. I honestly just want your experience and thoughts on this. We cannot ignore that these issues pervade our culture, so how do we (as parents and families) engage these situations without over-exposing our kids?
TALK TO ME.
Posted on May 19, 2010, in books, parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
I think it actually depends on the child and the parents knowledge of what that child can handle, what sort of things they are allowing their children to be exposed to, etc.
For example, my son is allowed to see some movies at a younger age,such as Lord of the Rings, that my daughter just couldn’t handle at the same age.
The same thing happened with Harry Potter, she was much older than he was when I allowed her to read them.
I think in the case of teenage pregnancy I would say 13, but then it would be up to the parent to side if their child was emotionally ready to carry that baggage!
Good questions!
I agree that so much depends on the child’s ability to understand what is taking place and realize that the decision made was wrong. I have let my oldest (just turned 13), read some things that I’m not sure I’ll let my next one read at the same age because my oldest has a greater sensitivity to grasping that something is not glorifying to God — I wouldn’t be concerned that reading it would tempt him under those same circumstances to make the same poor choice. Separately, we let him read a book last year that raised the topic of abortion and euthanasia — we knew he was old enough to deal with it and would hopefully be motivated to have God’s heart on the issue.
I’m not a mother, but looking back on my own teen reading habits, I would say it depends greatly on the child and how she’s been brought up to view thematical elements in fiction. If she’s mature and grounded, I would think a precautionary tale about teen pregnancy would probably be a good book to pursue, esp. if a parent is available and willing to discuss it after reading.
I, too, believe it depends on the child, but I also err more on the side of innocence. I remember reading too many books that I wish my mom would not have let me read – but she didn’t know what I was reading half the time. My kids see a lot more than most kids because of where we live, yet I do try to sheild them and am amazed at some of the things they are still innocent in despite where we live. As far as reading material, I like to read at least one book by the author to get a feel of his/her style and life view. I then decide if that child should wait or can read it then. I also look at the original publication date. If it’s an older book it is more than likely okay to read – they had different standards back then! My daughter will be 11 this year and is already asking about books that her friends have read (Twilight, Harry Potter, etc.) and we discuss why she wants to read them – usually it’s just because others have read them – I try to encourage her to not be part of the flow but find books she can encourage her friends to read that will help them think more positively and direct her thoughts towards God.
Tanya, as long as you make the books content understood in your review, you can’t really go wrong. However, you should ask yourself, “what message do I want to send the viewers?”
My opinion is this: It depends on the child’s worldly knowledge and maturity level. Parents should read at least a portion of each book before deciding if their child should read it. My 13 year old reads adult christian books, she never really got involved in teen books. Haley is 13, looking for guidance on good, meaningful relationships, how to be a christian, books with humor, lasting friendships, and common sense. So, it doesn’t make sense for her to read books that teach the opposite. Teens are so vulnerable. I personally wouldn’t post a review at CCBR dealing with this content, because they are already exposed to it daily. Reading should take them away from the norm, which these days, unfortunately, Christianity is not the norm. Does any of this make sense? I fell like I’m babbling.
I would like book reviews that are similar to some of the movie review sites I frequent. You know, the ones that tell you specifically what the book contains in different categories like spiritual content, sexual content, language, etc.
I like that these are more objective. I can read them and then make a subjective decision based on my child’s maturity level.