The Schizophrenic Homeowner, The Waffling Disciple
I don’t believe God has a blueprint for our lives, but I sometimes wish He did.
Let me clarify the first point first. God definitely has a plan for us, but I believe that plan involves our character and not our actions. I believe He is more concerned about who we become than in what we do. His will requires our submission and our obedience, but I don’t know that it includes specific details about our jobs (what we do), our houses (where we live), our wardrobe (what we wear), our families (who we marry and how many kids we have or don’t have) or even our budgets (how much money we get and how we spend it). He cares about those things, of course. But those details are trivial compared to our ability to love, our passion for truth, and our eagerness to serve Him fully.
Some will argue that they’re all related and that, if we truly seek to serve Him fully, then the answers to the “little details” will be clear. I agree all of life is intertwined, but if God had a very specific plan for every detail of our lives, then we would be doomed from the very first mistake. How do you get back on track after abandoning the blueprint? You can’t go back in time and “fix” that part of your life.
Or would God just keep re-drawing our blueprints? A new one for each mistake we make. Of course, if He knows everything (which He does), then He would know we would make mistakes (even before make them), which means His original blueprint would include our mistakes. In which case, even our mistakes follow His plan. Logically, couldn’t we then conclude that God plans for us to disobey?
God hates sin and He cannot contradict His nature which means He can’t possibly plan for us to sin. All this forces me to conclude that we have free will and that God’s plan or “will” for us is flexible enough to allow U-turns, side roads and scenic routes. I picture His will more like a map than a blueprint.
Oh, but a blueprint would be really nice when we face massive decisions! Like moving and buying a house (or not) and where to send our kids to school.
I feel a little like a schizophrenic homeowner. Or maybe a waffling disciple. Is it James who says “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no?’” The problem is I don’t know what our answer is.
We made the decision to enter this adventure after much prayer, research and counsel, but we keep going back and forth. We really like our house! It’s a beautiful home with a great yard, and we finally got it the way we really want it. So, why are we doing this? Yes, we want a bigger house and, yes, we want to be in a different school district in case we need to take the kids out of the Academy but so many questions arise.
What if we move, then something happens and we lose our income? Are we being greedy? Materialistic? Are we building our own kingdom rather than God’s?
What if we take the kids out of school and then they get caught up with the wrong friends? Is it better to stay in a small house and keep the kids in Christian school? Or should we get a bigger house and engage the community more? Are we sheltering our kids too much?
What if the new school’s administration is anti-Christian? What if we don’t get along with our new neighbors? What if our current neighbors need us to stay here longer? What if …
When I get going down this path, there is nothing to stop me from thinking we’ll move into the new house only to have it struck by lightning and burnt to the ground the next day. Or swallowed by a giant sink hole. Or the subject of some massive toxic experiment.
It’s ridiculous, and I know it!
I want to be confident in our decisions, but I don’t know what’s best. I want to stop thinking about it all, but my mind won’t let me. There’s too much that is affected by this. (And I’m not even touching the whole #3 topic!!) What if we make the wrong choice and we can’t reverse it? I don’t want all of the repercussions of this one decision to be on my shoulders.
I wish God would send me an email detailing exactly what He wants us to do.
But He doesn’t work that way.
I wish I were more confident in His plan for us.
But I’ve been wrong so many times before.
I wish I could believe that He will still care for us no matter what decision we make. I know it’s true, but I’m scared.
I’m afraid my mistakes may be too big for His grace.
And yet, admitting this is how I feel, I must laugh at the absurdity. Of course, His grace is greater!! No matter what happens, no matter where we are or where we go or what we do, He will still hold us in the palm of His hand. He will still make Himself known. My entire life rests not on this decision, but upon Him.
Oh, Lord, please help me to live confidently in what I know of You. Your love abounds and your grace knows no end! May my faith be the same. Remind me of the thousands of times you have provided above and beyond our needs, of the times You have revealed Yourself in delightful “coincidences.” When I am weak, You are strong. Help me to rest in You, in Your strength, Your provision and Your grace.
Posted on April 19, 2010, in faithfulness, fear, God's sovereignty, grace, House Hunting. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.
Oh, I know where you are! I really wish God would send me those e-mails daily, too. I wish I knew for certain what my husband and I were supposed to do! I wish, I wish, I wish…
But, wishing gets us nowhere. We have to take steps, no matter how scary, and see if that’s indeed where God is leading us. I have no doubt that if we start down a certain path He doesn’t want us on, God will slam the door in our face–He’s done it to us before, so to do it again seems logical and reasonable.
Great post! I think that ultimately God has a plan for our future and even if we don’t make the right decision his grace covers us. Do you think that maybe in your heart you do know what you feel is right but you are afraid?
Sounds like you are really thinking everything through and laying it all out there so I think that you are doing all that you can. Let God do the rest and you rest in the peace that you have laid it his feet and ultimately it is He that is in control.
When you do figure out how to get the audible and clear voice of God to tell us what to do, can you give it me too? : )
His will requires our submission and our obedience, but I don’t know that it includes specific details about our jobs (what we do), our houses (where we live), our wardrobe (what we wear), our families (who we marry and how many kids we have or don’t have) or even our budgets (how much money we get and how we spend it)
I disagree. God has a plan for us. He didn’t just decide on a whim that we would be born to the parents we have, in the city we were born in, or have the talents/gifts He instilled in us. He uses those things to shape us and make us into the person He wants us to be. He wants what is best for us at ALL times, in EVERY area of our lives. He knows what spouse, job, home would bring the greatest blessing to us. We may not always choose what is best, but it’s very dangerous to choose whatever WE want and expect God to somehow bless our choices. True, His grace is greater than all our sin and He will love us no matter what. But if we deliberately make choices contrary to what He commands, we will miss out on His blessings & even suffer the consequences.
We’re human. We make mistakes. If we’ve earnestly sought Him in the process, He will make the path clear to us. If we arbitrarily decide to follow our own hearts…well, yes, He knew that would happen, but it doesn’t mean we followed His plan. He doesn’t have to erase the blueprint because He is omniscient. He didn’t PLAN for us to disobey, but He KNEW we would. And only He knows the blessings we miss when we make those wrong decisions.
Sorry to hijack your blog. I just think this is an area we have to be very careful about.
I think I’ve been misunderstood. It sounds like you think I believe we can do whatever we want and then ask God to honor it. That was not my point AT ALL. I don’t believe that AT ALL.
My post is not about God’s will vs. our will. It’s about seeking God FIRST and then trying to decipher His plan for us.
I firmly believe God cares about every detail of our lives. I know He knows what’s best for us and what will honor Him most. (I believe Him being honored is far more important than us being blessed. Furthermore, human perceptions of “blessing” can be greatly distorted.)
My main point is that God cares more about WHO WE ARE than about what we DO. He cares more about our character than our career. This doesn’t mean He doesn’t care about those things! He does! But it’s not as important as our character. Are we being Christ-like wherever we are? Do our motives bring glory to Him? The Bible says man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart. A missionary with an unclean heart is worse than a tattooed, bikini-clad actress who loves the Lord.
My second point is that there may be more than one good answer to a specific life decision. Is it possible God plans more than one “best” for our lives? Does it really matter if I buy the SUV or the minivan? If there are two houses at the same price in the same town, how do I know which one God wants for me? Well, there are lots of ways to determine God’s will but I don’t know — I’m not stating an absolute here! I’m simply saying I DON’T KNOW — if every decision is God-ordained as right or wrong. There ARE absolute rights and wrongs, but is EVERY decision one or the other? Did I buy the wrong Easter dress this year? If I am earnestly seeking God’s will, but two decisions seem equally honoring to Him, is it possible that neither is wrong or “out of His will?” I think so. I believe there can be more than one “right” answer to certain life decisions. Not EVERY decision, but some of them, yes.
Again, I’m sorry if I was unclear. I certainly do not believe we should make arbitrary decisions without seeking wise, godly counsel. We must bathe our lives in prayer and supplication, seeking HIM first.
I just don’t believe every single decision is a clear black or white issue. I also don’t believe God’s first priority is whether or not we make the right choices. His first priority is whether or not we reflect Him well.
Tanya,
I didn’t think you were saying we should do what we want & ask God to honor it. I apologize if my comment came across that way. II do think, however, that if we’re not careful we can easily slip into that mindset…the human heart doesn’t seem to need much motivation to sin (at least mine doesn’t). And I agree that our heart is important to Him.
I’m not sure there is a “right” answer on a dress or a car, as long as it brings honor to God. Is the dress modest? Is the car something you can afford? If the answer is yes, then I think we’re fulfilling to His purposes.
We make many decisions in a day. Does God want me to ask Him what I should eat? Probably not, but I know I should take care of myself and treat my body as a temple. BUT I do believe there are big decisions that affect our entire lives (spouse, job, etc.), for which God has a very specific plan.
I guess that’s really the crux of the matter…God’s PLAN vs. God’s PURPOSE. I’m no theologian, but it seems to me they may be distinct, but work together. Does that make sense?
I firmly believe God cares about every detail of our lives. I know He knows what’s best for us and what will honor Him most. (I believe Him being honored is far more important than us being blessed. Furthermore, human perceptions of “blessing” can be greatly distorted.) Couldn’t agree more!
I *heart* you, your post and your response. Thank you for sharing both your questions and your confidence with us.
I feel you. we too are going back and forth with some decisions and some days it seem so clear and others I’m back to square one again. part of me then says OK God you are not a God of confussion, but why am I so confused? I know and get what you are saying that ultimately He cares about our hearts and not every little situation as in He’s stressing out over what we’ll do……?
I have been just praying every day for Him to open the right doors and close the others……….I’ll pray for the same for you!
Great post! You and I are in.the.exact.same.spot. right now, so it really hit home with me.
God gave us a good head on our shoulders and He expects us to use it. He also gives us lots of grace.
Beautiful post!!
I agree there may be more than one good answer to a life decision. Because of that, I am more than thankful for His grace and mercy … and protection!
Much food for thought here. Thanks for pointing me this direction! Blessings,
Lisa
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