How and When to Tell Your Kids About Sex

As an endcap for our lovely little discussion of unpleasant things, I want to recommend a couple excellent resources.

We all know that sex permeates our culture. Kids are going to learn about it probably sooner than we expect. It is far better for them to learn a correct, healthy, biblical perspective from their parents, than for them to learn an alternative lesson from outside sources — classmates, the media or exploration. Unfortunately, many parents wait too long to have “the talk.” They then have to un-teach the errant lessons children already accepted and re-teach the truth.

With that in mind, Stan and Brenna Jones have written a number of fantastic books offering parents “a lifelong approach to shaping your child’s sexual character.”

First is their Parents’ Guide: How and When to Tell Your Kids About Sex. This 250-page book guides parents toward building a Christian understanding of sex and sexuality within their family. The beginning chapters lay the foundation: why sex ed should be much more than a simple relay of biological information, but rather a well-rounded integrated part of forming of godly character. The book then details what and how parents should teach their children by age.

• Infancy through kindergarten: Handling sexual curiosity and sexual play; Preventing and overcoming sexual molestation; Gender identification and sexual orientation
• Pre-puberty: Inoculating your child against destructive moral messages; How and when to explain sexual intercourse; Preparing for the physical changes of puberty
• Puberty: Preparing for dating; Dealing with romance and sexual attraction; Pornography and cybersex
• Adolescence: Building moral discernment about physical contact; Encouraging commitment to chastity; What to tell your child about contraception

The author’s have also included a section on what to do if you’re getting a late start in teaching your kids about sex.

Typically a “Parents’ Guide” accompanies resources for children. You’ll find no exception here. These authors have written a series of children’s books, four in all, that parents may use as tools to teach their children about God’s design for sex.

The first two books (The Story of Me and Before I Was Born) are picture books parents read to their children. They target kids ages 3-5 and 5-8, respectively. The other two titles are chapter books targeting kids ages 8-11 (What’s the Big Deal; 89 pages) and 11-14 (Facing the Facts; 125 pages).

All of these books are wonderfully age appropriate. The illustrations in the first two are purposefully vague and Impressionistic; the text is thorough and lovingly positive. The chapter books broach every subject you could want to discuss with your kids at those ages. They include diagrams, Q&A sections, discussion starters and plentiful Scriptural supports.

You can currently purchase the entire set of four books from Christianbook.com for just $33.96. (That’s 23% off the cover price!) It’s a great deal. Now, since my kids aren’t that age, I’ve not yet read through the chapter books entirely. However, if they’re of the same quality as the Parents’ Guide and first two books (and I’m sure they are), I highly recommend the entire series.