Monthly Archives: September 2009
I didn’t go British.
Earlier this month I participated in an interview with TransWorld Radio UK for a piece on Christian children’s publishing. Kristina, my friend and managing editor at CCBR, kinda nudged me into it. I was reluctant. But I did it and, more importantly, I survived.
I’d never done a radio interview before and, quite honestly, still don’t feel qualified for such an opportunity. My biggest prayer was that I wouldn’t absorb an accent. It sounds silly, but I knew the reporter would be British, and I know how easily and unconsciously I slip into accents. (I really annoyed Rick while we were in London last month.) I desperately wanted to avoid offending anyone on my first outing as an “expert.”
I am happy to say God answered my prayer. I didn’t go British.
If you’d like to listen to the piece, you can by going HERE. Scroll down to the segment entitled “What Will Our Children Read?” It originally aired on September 24th. You can either listen right there or download it as an MP3. You know, if my voice soothes you, and you simply can’t live without listening to me nightly on your iPod. Then hop on over to CCBR to see what new reviews we’ve posted for you.
The Great Neutralization
I really didn’t care what we scanned. As Rick and I chose the items that would fill our first home, I was too excited about getting married to care about any of the stuff we would get. Towels, sheets, dishes … all of that seemed rather insignificant. I just nodded my head and went along with a ginormous smile across my face.
Months later, after the wedding, the honeymoon and a few weeks back at school, I looked around our little apartment and realized it didn’t reflect me. In my giddy love-struck state, I let him choose everything. Not that I didn’t like it! We had nice stuff, but everything was either blue or beige. While I still agreed that it was all rather insignificant, I decided that I wanted more of me in the home made of us.
Blue and beige are not me.
Two states, ten years and three homes later, I felt our house was perfect. Well, maybe not perfect, but I loved it. It was finally me! A red kitchen, a green living room, bright blue for Zach’s room and bold black furniture in our bedroom. I was convinced anyone who visited us would envy our cozy cape and all the lively decor.
Rick, however, felt we lived in a clown house. (His words, not mine.)
Bright colors are not him.
His confession was the catalyst for finding center. We started out all him, then ricocheted to all me. We needed to find middle ground. And he had a good point: when and if we decide to move, we’d have to repaint everything while stressing over packed boxes, changing schools and whatever else would come with that decision. Better to neutralize now and be ready. Just in case.
Yesterday I began The Great Neutralization.
In the morning, our living room looked like this:
If you visited in the afternoon, you would have seen this:
By the time Rick arrived home last night, it looked like this:
One wall down, several more to go. And don’t worry — I’ll get my color in there eventually; it just won’t be on the walls. I’m actually pretty excited about the new room, but for the moment I mourn the cloaking of my lovely green. It didn’t help that Zach and Ellie kept singing the Imagination Movers’ color song:
“Brown and white make beige.
Boring, boring, boring, boring beige!”
Any Imagination Movers fans out there? The kids constantly tease Rick about being too much like Uncle Knit Knots. He’s the one on the far left. (Uncle Knit Knots, that is, not Rick.)
It is Tuesday.
Mama Loves color. But I love my husband more!
Little House on the Prairie: The Musical
Guess what we did yesterday … I took Ellie to her first ever musical!! We had a great “Girls’ Day” with a couple friends.
Ellie wore another dress that my mother-in-law made. Remember when Caroline (on the TV show) bought nice fabric to make herself a dress, but then made dresses for Mary and Laura instead? Ellie’s dress reminded me of those.
The girls (both five years old) enjoyed the show, but not as much as their mamas.
Tracy and I went a little ga-ga. We were both weeping before the end of the show, and then when Melissa Gilbert took her curtain call (she played “Ma”) we got all emotional again! There’s just something about these stories and … *sigh* … It was cool. 
By the way, if the show comes to your area (I have no idea where or for how long they’ll do it), take note that it follows the books and not the TV show or any of the resulting movies. (I was glad about that!) Kara Lindsay played “Laura” and Steve Blanchard played “Pa.” They were both fantastic! The whole cast was great, but they were my favorite players. My only complaint: they didn’t have soundtracks available. The musical offered several great, original songs, but they didn’t have any CDs to purchase.
They did have tee-shirts, but I couldn’t justify paying $25 for a “Little House” shirt I knew I would probably never wear in public. I was seconds away from buying a “Half Pint” tee-shirt for Ellie, but she wasn’t interested. Instead we got her a stuffed horse and named it “Barnum.”
It was a good day. Oh, and I have to say, my girl was PERFECT!! She sat quietly through the whole show and clapped in all the right places. She loved it. I was so proud of her!
Update on Molly
Hey folks. THANK YOU to all of you who have prayed for Molly. I’ve been getting updates from the family via facebook and phone calls with my mom.
The surgery went according to plan, but now is the really tough part: waiting. We’re waiting for her to have seizures so that the doctors can collect and analyze the data. The hope is that they will be able to discover what is causing her seizures. Once they do, the family can move on to the next step: removing those triggers and stopping the seizures. I can’t even imagine what her parents are feeling and enduring during this time. Molly’s been sick since the surgery. She’s not sleeping well and just wants to come home. Please continue to pray.
God is good and He will be glorified!
I tried to embed a video from the local news, but it’s not quite working, so here’s a link: Bald for Bean.
Again, THANK YOU for your prayers! Keep ‘em coming.
UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: I just heard she’s now eating a little. Praise God! Her nausea and headaches have decreased, but she’s still a little woozy at times. No more seizures yet. I’ll keep you posted if I hear more.
Perspective.
Zach is sick. He’s had that lethargic, glossy-eyed, runny nose look about him all day. I hate when my kids are sick. They’re miserable! I hate seeing them that way.
And, of course, the selfish part of me whispers in my subconscious. They’re more work when they’re sick. He’s coughing all over me, demanding juice and food and watching the same annoying Thomas video over and over.
Today, however, has been different. While some sick days leave me feeling exhausted, frustrated, and germophobic, today I feel none of those. I feel good. I feel blessed. I feel utterly spoiled.
This morning a friend’s eight-year-old daughter underwent brain surgery.
Talk about perspective. A runny nose is nothing — less than nothing! — compared to that.
We’ve been praying for Molly for a long time. It’s funny because I’ve never actually met her. Our families are very close; I talk to her grandmama regularly. I grew up with her aunt and uncle; her daddy was in youth group with my older sister. Her grandaddy married me and Rick over ten years ago. Even now, my mama spends every Sunday with their whole family by the lake after church. But for some reason, whenever we visit, we miss her.
But we’re praying for her now. And will continue praying until God heals her or calls her home. I don’t even like thinking that last bit, but I know God is infinitely wise. He loves Molly and her family even more than we do, and I place my trust in Him.
Here’s a great article about the journey they’re taking. It ran in the local newspaper today and features a picture of Molly with her dad and his football team. We’d really appreciate your prayers.
How awesome is it that God hears and answers our prayers even when we pray for people we don’t know and may never meet? It is an honor to stand before Him, to carry each other’s burdens. Imagine the community we’ll have when in eternity we all gather together in one place! I can hardly wait.
Bueller? Bueller?
I grew up in a very small town. The big city had two stop lights and was surrounded by farms. As Mama said, if you blinked, you’d miss it. I couldn’t wait to leave that map dot. Everyone knew everyone’s business. It drove me crazy.
I guess I blinked because once I left, I missed that place deeply and often. Kind of shocking, really. The East Coast offers the anonymity I longed for, but that seeming invisibility gets old.
We’ve lived here for five years now. That’s the longest I’ve been in one spot since high school. We’ve put down some roots, gotten established in a great church and — dare I say? — built community. Since my kickboxing adventure last week I have had strangers ask after me. People I knew, but who I believed didn’t know me, have checked on my health and called to make sure I’m okay.
Now, the kickboxing thing was funny. It was a one-day crazy adventure, but that’s it. I’m not dying. I was never truly at risk of dying (I don’t think). It was just a silly little event through which I was forced to admit I’m no longer twenty. But the resulting outflow of concern has been really cool! It seemed I got all this attention for nothing (a little something, but relatively nothing) and I loved it. Rick said he half expected singing telegrams and floral bouquets to arrive at our door. I’m not Ferris Bueller, even if I do bust out a loud version of “Danke Schoen.”
I loved it not because of the attention, but because it felt like home. It seemed like that little mapdot I’ve been missing suddenly moved east with different faces. Home is not about location or culture; it’s about community. It’s when you’re convinced you belong and others are eager to prove it.
“Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galations 6:2
That’s what I witnessed this week. Pretty awesome, really, even if tremendously humbling.
Now, just for fun …
What do you need?
Yesterday was another one of those days.
Typically I’d say I’m a pretty chipper person. I usually look at the glass as half full, if not overflowing. I see the positive side of most things and the humor in just about everything. But then there are days when I’m not so chipper. I get in a funk of discontent.
Nothing in particular upsets me. I think that’s part of the problem. I spend the whole day trying to figure out what’s wrong, what messed up my equilibrium, when it may be nothing at all.
The kids are too hyper, too loud, too whiny or not listening well. The house is perpetually messy, the phone keeps ringing, and I never seem to get anything done.
Whether I find a cause or not (and I usually don’t), I try to prescribe a remedy.
I need more sleep, more exercise, more caffeine, maybe chocolate or water or veggies. I need a maid. I need quiet. I need time to read, time to write or maybe some brainless TV. I need to talk to an adult. I need to be more disciplined or discipline my children more. I need to vent. I need a hobby.
Maybe one of these is the solution. Maybe on this particular day it is as simple as taking twenty minutes to rest with a good novel. Maybe that would be enough for me to regroup and get back on track.
But here’s my question: why do I think of all these “solutions” before I think to pray?
I’m not suggesting prayer as a quick-fix, genie-in-a-bottle type answer. God is not Santa Claus and prayer is not some formulaic pixie dust. In fact, I believe prayer is more for us than for Him.
He already knows all of our needs and troubles and desires, and He knows exactly how He will resolve (or not) every issue in our lives. So why would He need us to ask Him for anything? He doesn’t. It’s that simple. But He does ask us to come to Him in prayer with supplication and thanksgiving because He loves us that much. He knows we need it. He doesn’t need us to pray; we need us to pray.
When we pray — not just say the words, but really pray — we acknowledge who we are and who God is. That’s how we get back on track. Prayer offers a perspective realignment. It shows us how much we need Him and how insignificant all these little details really are. If we’re not right with Him, it doesn’t matter how clean or filthy our bathrooms are. HE is what matters most.
On days like this, prayer is what I need. More than chocolate, more than a bigger house or a hard-working clone or a nanny. On days like this I need to remember who God is and what He has asked of me for today. That’s it.
What do you need today?
“Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
– Psalm 46:10 (NASB)
Working at Home: Paperwork Tips
You may remember I recently partnered up with Making Work at Home Work as a blogger. Here’s a great new article on keeping all that home and work paperwork straight. Remember: working at home may include a little side job or a full-blown business. You may do Stampin’ Up!, Creative Memories, Tupperware or Pampered Chef OR you could be a freelance writer, an Etsy crafter or a great garage-saler with a knack for eBay. Anything you do at home that brings in money is an at-home business and these tips can make it easier and more profitable for you.
Recordkeeping and Deductions
By Mary Byers
The number one rule for moms who work at home is this: Do not mingle your personal and business finances. Open a separate checking account for your business. And, if necessary, secure a separate credit card so that you can keep your personal and business-related expenses separate. Deposit all of your income in the checking account. Pay all of your expenses out of the checking account. When you do, at the end of the year you’ll have an accurate record of income and expenses.
Check with your bank before your open your checking account. They may require proof that you’ve filed a “Doing Business As” form with your local or county government. Your banker may also be able to alert you to other regulations specific to your area.
I personally believe it’s essential to stay on top of your business’ finances on a monthly basis. Though it’s not my favorite chore, I use a simple software program to track income and spending. I can compare this year’s figures to last year’s to find out how I’m doing comparatively as well as monitor my year-to-date performance. There are many easy-to- use software programs on the market (such as Quicken and Quick Books) that make it possible for business owners to track and access their financial data.
In addition to inputting my financial data, I take time to organize my expense receipts each month. It takes less than a half hour to file them but doing so insure that my end-of-year tax preparation will run smoothly. Plus, I’ll have necessary proof if I’m ever audited.
Once your record keeping is in order, you should take the time to learn what’s allowable as an expense deduction for you as a self-employed individual. The more you deduct, the less your profit. The less your profit, the less you pay in taxes. The less you pay in taxes, the more you keep for yourself.
According to the Internal Revenue Service, “To be deductible, a business expense must be both ordinary and necessary. An ordinary expense is one that is common and accepted in your field of business. A necessary expense is one that is appropriate and helpful for your business. An expense does not have to be indispensable to be considered necessary.”
The challenge in determining what’s deductible is that it differs based on your occupation. Day care providers can write off the cost of toys they buy for their charges and a computer game designer can deduct the cost of purchasing competing games for review and critique.
If you’re interested in learning more about deductible expenses, consider picking up a copy of June’s Walker’s Self-Employed Tax Solutions. It’s an excellent resource, as is June’s website at www.junewalkeronline.com. Her blog is worth subscribing to if you’re interested in learning how to keep more of what you make.
Of course, if you’re uncertain as to whether something is deductible, check with your personal tax advisor. And if you don’t have one, get one. I personally waited too long to do this and wish I would have done it sooner.
Here’s how to make the most of your deductions:
Know what’s deductible. Take the time to learn what’s deductible. You may be surprised by what you can write off. For example, authors and playwrights may deduct the cost of the plays and movies they see if they are doing so to better learn the craft of plot, story and character. If you conduct business on the way to or from your family vacation, you may be able to write off a portion of your travel expenses.
If in doubt, ask. This is where a tax reference book or good accountant comes in. While it may be easier not to ask, doing so may well cost you money that would be better placed in your retirement account or a child’s college fund.
Realize that small deductions add up. My bank is 5.6 miles away. With the current IRS standard mileage deduction of 50.5 cents per mile, every trip to the bank for a business related transaction results in a deduction of $2.83 (50.5 cents x 5.6 miles). Last year alone my mileage deduction totaled $1,971. (I record each trip in a mileage log in order to provide documentation for the IRS.) Remember, deductions decrease taxable income, and lower taxable income means paying less tax.
Keep your receipts. Develop a simple record keeping system that’s easy to use. You’ll need to keep your records for seven years after the relevant tax return is filed. (Though the receipts only need to be kept temporarily, you should keep your tax returns forever.)
If you need help developing a working system, get it. Though recordkeeping and taxes can be both tedious and boring, they represent an area in which solo-preneurs can make a huge difference in the bottom line. You owe it to yourself and your family to excel in this area. If you’re intimidated or uncertain in this regard, make a commitment to learn what you need to know–starting today.
Author, Speaker Mary Byer’s created this program after the release of her book, Making Work at Home Work: Successfully growing a business and a family under one roof, to help other Work at Home Moms (WAHM) conquer some of the struggles that she herself has been through. Mary says, “I feel really privileged that I was able to write this book. I wrote it with Work at Home Moms in mind. There are so many unique challenges about working at home that only another work-at-homer can understand!” I would like to encourage you to explore their website for some great advice and some much-needed encouragement. You can learn more about making work at home work by subscribing to Mary’s free blog at www.makingworkathomework.com.
Adventures in Shopping — or sleeping?
Okay, so maybe my family has a tendency toward passing out. Or maybe we’re just really, really comfortable wherever we go.
I have slept on planes, trains, friends’ couches (during parties), hardwood floors and city park benches. I have slumbered in movie theatres, on a table at Pizza Hut, and even once on a roof in the ghetto. I have slept through classes, hurricanes, tornados and a gang fight.
You think I’m kidding. I’m not. I’m being quite literal.
So now we simply add kickboxing class to the situations where I’m comfortable enough to sleep.
It seems I’ve passed this wonderful trait to our son. How ironic is it that we spent three years trying to get him to sleep through the night and now he can sleep anywhere? His list of unusual nap spots starts with Payless.
Adventures in Kickboxing (aka: The ridiculously foolish thing I did this week)
It started innocently enough.
When Zach turned four last month I decided the statute of limitations on pregnancy fat had expired. I’ve blamed these extra twenty-five pounds on him, my schedule (which rarely allows me to exercise), my love of food (which is insatiable) and my self-sacrificing mother instincts (which have me eating junk and taking care of the kids more than me). Now that both kids are in school, my routine is different and my excuses are gone. Just as I came to this realization, a friend invited me to join her for a new kickboxing class.
I’ve always wanted to try kickboxing. It sounded fun! It worked into my schedule; I would have accountability; Alison wasn’t an avid exerciser either … It sounded perfect. Toss in that the first two weeks are free and my decision was made.
I even bought new workout pants.
Yesterday morning, unfortunately, I slept late. This was my twitter/facebook status:
I didn’t realize I had the gift of prophecy.
We got to the class, I filled out my “new student” paperwork, reminded the instructors that I hadn’t worked out in years (Does physical therapy count? No? Darn!) decades in a while, and then waited for the class to begin. They assured us we’d be fine. No worries. I had my towel and my big bottle of water.
Things only got better when more of our friends came. Initially I thought it would only be me and Alison and a few karate moms I didn’t know. But — lucky for me! — my good friends Julie, Carrie and Angela also showed up. I was happy!
I got on my gloves and stood next to my big padded kicking thing, ready and waiting.
I survived the “warm-up” and gave Alison a glare that dared her to see what torture chamber fun class I could invite her to. Then we started the real workout.
At this point, I would like to warn all readers that skipping breakfast — even when you’re running late — is NOT a good idea before an exercise class. I’d also like to speculate that there is no such thing as a “Beginner Class” for kickboxing. It’s pretty much all or nothing, and if you haven’t worked out much, and especially if you’ve skipped breakfast, you should find another exercise. I’m thinking pilates or yoga or some other calm activity, because this is what happened next.
She (the instructor) noticed me when I stopped to breathe. (She probably noticed me because I was the only one on my knees gasping for air.) She then pointed out that I wasn’t breathing. “Do you know how I know that? Because your nose is all white. Do you see how white your nose is?”
Me: “Um, no. I can’t see my nose. It’s on my face, and you’re not a mirror. I feel dizzy.” (She was very close to my face.)
Her: “Here, sit down and take a break.”
The next thing I remember is floating, and then an extremely large karate man tried to wake me up. I resisted because the tile floor was so nice and cool and I really liked how it felt. But he wouldn’t stop shaking my back, so I got up and asked how long I lasted. Big Karate Dude (I can’t remember his name.) said I almost made it through half of the one-hour class. He told me this just before he put me on a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance.
I think I asked everyone that question: “How long did I last?” Anyone with similar levels of bullheadedness tenacity understands it doesn’t matter that I passed out; it only matters how long I lasted. I am especially glad that everyone was there to witness how long I lasted. It must have been a record or something – right?
I also remember asking Big Karate Dude if this happens a lot. He kept telling me not to be embarrassed, but his answer offered no basis for this. He said something like “Well … no. Not really.” That helped my pride.
To add to my humility, I think the entire town gathered to watch. I guess nothing else was going on around here. This pitiful woman (who now feels ridiculously old, out of shape and stupid) attracted the attention of two police cars (four officers in total), one paramedic vehicle (two people in there) and an ambulance (at least two more people, plus the driver). Oh, and anyone else who happened to be standing outside around 10 am on a gorgeous sunny day. By this morning (the day after) I had over 20 notes on facebook, 6 emails and a phone call from the school principal to check on me. Everyone thinks I’m dying. I’m not. I just refuse to believe that I can’t do anything. I refuse to acknowledge personal limits. I mean, if the amazingly toned woman in front of me can teach the class, surely I (25 pounds over weight and with absolutely no training) can keep up. Right? Right? Obviously not.
Anywho, I somehow managed to answer about thirty questions at least seventeen times. I got a lot of “Oh, good. You’re coherent and you still have your sense of humor.” and “It’s better to be embarrassed than unconscious.” My final instructions before they closed the ambulance doors: “Get me my purse. My insurance card is in there. Have Julie pick up my kids at 11:30; she’s the only one authorized to do it. DO NOT CALL RICK!! And please don’t tell anyone I wet myself. Did I wet myself?” That’s when they hooked up the oxygen and turned on the pretty flashing lights.
There’s nothing quite like trying to get an IV while in a moving vehicle. Roads don’t feel as smooth when you’re lying on your back knowing someone is trying to jab a giant needle in your arm. Oh, and I learned a new word: valvular. My veins are quite valvular. In other words, it will take four pricks and a pediatric needle and they still can’t find a working vein. (By “prick” I mean “attempt.” I don’t know the EMTs well enough to call them names, but I think one of them was called “Doug.”)
After two hours in the hospital, an EKG, blood tests, a turkey sandwich, apple juice and a cup of tea that burnt my tongue, they determined that I was fine. They eliminated the possibility of pregnancy, diabetes and stroke and confirmed dehydration, low blood pressure and a bit of foolish arrogance. I signed a paper and Alison drove me back to the martial arts school (to get my car) where everyone was still standing around talking about me.
They invited me to come back on Wednesday. What do you think? I still owe them for a vitamin water.
Just so everyone knows: I AM FINE! Rick worked from home today to make sure I take it easy and remember my limits. He only had to stop me from running around the house twice.
Life is good, God is great, and I am tremendously blessed to have such amazing, generous friends. Even in spite of my stupidity cute idiosyncrasies.
