Daily Archives: July 31, 2009

What should be the goal of parenting? To raise well-behaved kids? Talented, intelligent, well-rounded kids? Perfect kids? What is the standard for parental success? Sometimes I feel victorious simply for surviving the day. Parents seek to raise children who become functioning members of society who thrive as adults. Is that enough?

A friend and I have had several conversations about how training children ought to be heart-focused rather than behavior-focused. We want to mold their hearts and minds, not just their actions. This can be difficult to remember while enduring screaming tantrums and mortal humiliation in the grocery store.

Creative Correction has collected dust in my basement for about two years now. I’ve tried to read it several times, but each effort sought a quick fix. The author, Lisa Whelchel, wisely doesn’t provide quick fixes. Instead, she spends the first one hundred pages redirecting parents’ focus. This week I opened the book again, this time ready to read what was actually written. This is what I found in chapter two:

“It’s vital that we step away from the pandemonium of parenting from time to time and remind ourselves of the true goal — to have kids who are drawing an accurate picture of God in their hearts and learning how to relate to Him as their Creator each day … Though we should strive to be godly, we can never perfectly reflect God. Instead our goal should be to ensure that our reflection of God draws our children closer to Him — and that it makes them long to touch the real thing.”

For some reason, God has to keep reminding me that all of life has the same goal. I repeatedly try to compartmentalize my life. These are my writing goals; these are my ministry goals; these are my marriage goals; these are my parenting goals … But all areas of life fit neatly into one sphere of purpose: to honor God by becoming more like Him.

Do I want to strengthen my relationships? I should seek after and become more like God. Do I want to raise great kids? I should seek after and become more like God. Do I want to write something that’s relevant and points people to God? I should seek after and become more like God. Do I want to win my neighbors to Christ? Guess what I need to do.

I want my kids, my neighbors, my friends, my family, everyone I meet to long to touch God.