Monthly Archives: June 2009
From critic to convert (aka: why I love my Kindle)
When Rick first hinted that he might get me a Kindle for Mothers Day, I was worried. It’s a LOT of money — especially for something I didn’t think I wanted. But once I got it, I fell head over heels in love. I need to share the love!
Please note I am not trying to convert anyone! Rather, I think if I just spill my guts about it, tell you all my thoughts, then I can stop talking about it. Right? Right. Here are all the reasons why I love my Kindle.
1- Portability: It’s small and light. No matter where I’m traveling or for how long, I always take a bag of books. A big bag of books. This thing holds up to 1000 books and weighs less than my purse. It’s like carrying one book, but still having access to hundreds. This translates into a big space, time and weight saver. I no longer have to spend extra time deciding which books to take or pack; they’re all right there in one small, light, convenient device.
2- Visibility: I was skeptic about an electronic reading device for a number of reasons, but visibility was the biggest. I love to read outdoors. If I can’t see it, what’s the point? This is actually easier on my eyes than a bound paper book. It’s incredible easy to see and it doesn’t reflect the sun like smooth white paper.
Add to this the viewing options. The font is always in Time New Roman (or something very, very similar), but readers can choose from SIX different font sizes with the simple push of a button.
3- Versatility: I haven’t ventured into reading blogs, newspapers or magazines on my Kindle, so I can’t vouch for those elements. However, I have converted several personal documents to Kindle format. This is fantastic! The service is completely free and takes less than two minutes.
Why would I want to do that? Well, several publishers offer FREE e-versions of their books (not all books, but some of them) via their websites. You can download them to your computer, but who wants to sit in front of a monitor for hours reading? I’d rather curl up on the couch or lay in my yard than sit in a chair staring at a glowing rectangle. Kindle allows me to convert those FREE e-books to my reader and enjoy them like I would any other book. What’s better than a free book??
Also, when clients send me manuscripts to edit, I can translate those Word documents to my Kindle, then edit at the park while the kids are playing. Did I mention the edit features? Oh, you’re gonna love this.
4- Notation & Editing Features: The Kindle allows readers to dog-ear pages. Yes! I can bookmark or dog-ear a page without destroying a book!! It’s very exciting. I can highlight passages, insert notes directly into the text, search for specific chapters or even keywords. I can hop back and forth between sections of the book the same way I would with a “real” book. All of these notations can then be compiled into an email or document and translated to my laptop. All at no additional charge.
The keyboard is small. It’s more for texting than typing, but it works and is relatively easy to use.
5- Audio: The Kindle, with the simple push of a couple buttons, converts any book on the device to audio. Instantly. I can choose between a male or female voice and even select the speed at which the person talks. (There are three options for audio speed.) The voices are a bit robotic, but it works. I can sit my Kindle on the seat next to me while I drive (assuming the kids are not being too noisy in the back seat) or on the table while I fold laundry. I love it!
6- Reading material is cheaper: The Kindle is expensive. It runs about $350 for the device, plus another $65 if you get the warranty. I paid another $30 for a leather cover/case. BUT books themselves are cheaper. I’ve already mentioned all the free ones I’ve converted from various publishers — great titles like The Noticer and Same Kind of Different as Me. Amazon also offers several free books — classics like Pride & Prejudice, Little Women and Treasure Island, as well as more contemporary novels. Even when you pay for your reading material, it’s cheaper. Magazines are $1-3 for monthly subscriptions; bestsellers and new releases are almost always $9.99. That’s 40-60% off the cover prices!
7- Sample chapters: I mentioned this yesterday. I get to sample EVERY book that interests me before I buy it. I LOVE this feature. It’s saving me a ton of money be filtering out the books I think I might like, but in reality, I’ll never read.
8- It’s comfortable: One of my biggest concerns about getting this was that it would feel cold and sterile. What I love most about books is how they absorb me into their worlds. I worried I wouldn’t feel that same comfy affection with a hard electronic device. I’m not sure why, but this feels the same to me. That really surprised me! It’s actually more comfortable than a book because I don’t have to repeatedly change my hold in order to prevent getting a one-handed cramp. It offers buttons on both the left and right for turning pages, so I can hold it easily with either hand. And because it’s so small and light, I can still curl up in my favorite reading spots, same as always. Furthermore, the cover I purchased adds to the comfort. It allows upright, hands-free reading (or listening, if I turn on the audio feature). It’s great.
9- It’s fast: I can shop the AmazonKindle store right from my device. I don’t need to use my computer to order books; my Kindle has wireless built in. (FYI: the battery lasts over a week if you turn the wireless off when not in use.) Books are downloaded right to my device in less than 60 seconds. Same with sample chapters. Converting documents takes only about 3 minutes. It’s fantastic! Fast, convenient, easy.
10- So much more! The Kindle has a built in dictionary. If I come across an unfamiliar word, I simply click on it, and the definition, along with synonyms, antonyms and options. It’s green. I’m saving trees!! 
It offers basic web browsing and plays MP3s. It can even store personal pictures as the screen savers!
And that’s the end of today’s informercial, this week’s edition of Mama Loves. I’m happy to tell you more, but I’m not exactly earning a commission here. If you have questions, leave them in the comments section. I’d love to answer them!
Gladitudes
I’m back! Well, trying to be back. It’s been a crazy week. A GREAT week! But crazy. This morning I lack enough time and lucidity for one of my normal, introspective posts, so I’m going to take a cue from Kellie and make a list for Gretchen‘s “Gladitudes” exercise.
1. I’m glad that VBS went so well! We had a lot of kids. I’m not sure how many, but I’m guessing around 600, maybe more. This is a big deal because a lot of the public schools didn’t let out until after our program began. PRAISE GOD that we still had so many come!
2. I’m also glad that VBS raised so much for our missionaries. Offerings collected throughout the week are going to two different camps: one is for special-needs kids and the other is a woman from our church now working at a camp in Montana. Yes, we had our very own Hannah Montana. Anyway, the kids raised almost $1700 for these excellent ministries! In addition to these, the kids also brought in food for a local food pantry. A LOT of food! It was so cool to see the kids get excited about helping people in need.
3.I’m glad that my Bible study went well! Throughout the week I had 22 people come to my class — way more than I expected. I loved every minute of it. Well, except for the two minutes on Friday when I broke down in tears, but c’mon. Can anyone really not cry when talking about Simeon and the emotions he must have felt as seeing the Savior of the world in the flesh? He waited his whole life to witness the fulfillment of that promise! Yes, I’m emotional, but I can’t help it. We serve an awesome God. He overwhelms me regularly.
If you were part of the class, you’ll remember I referenced a painting by Ron DiCianni. This is the print: Simeon’s Moment. Can you see why I cry? It’s gorgeous.
4. I’m glad that even though the weatherman predicted rain all week, we made it through every morning of VBS with little more than a few drops. It was perfect.
5. I’m glad that we got to spend Saturday with family. My brother came up from Philly with his wife and their two boys. We had a wonderful time playing baseball in the front yard and the kids swam a bit in the back. Very cool.
6. I’m glad my sweet brother brought me a sunflower plant. I’ve never had a sunflower before! It’s so pretty. Today I plan to pot it properly for our patio. (I also plan to stop using alliterated sentences.)
7. I’m glad that the behemoth groundhog who resides somewhere in a four-house radius has not yet destroyed my tomato plant. He ate all our mulberries, tulips and lilies, but so far he’s stayed away from my roses and my tomatoe plant. That makes me very happy.
8. This is very exciting!! Since I’m stuck on plant-talk, I have to tell you: I’m so glad that our new neighbors (whom I believe are flippers) landscaped their backyard this weekend! Here’s the deal. We would like a little more privacy in our backyard, but are afraid to put in a privacy fence. The neighbors to the right of us installed a privacy fence just a couple months after we moved in. All the neighbors (on ALL sides of the block) apologized profusely to us, explaining that these neighbors were snooty, reclusive and just “not right.” They then assured us that our precious daughter (8 months old at the time) was not “THAT loud” and they all thought she was very cute. Well, she was cute, but we had taken no initial offense at the fence, but after hearing everyone’s apologies, we were a little … well, offended. We actually LIKED the privacy fence, but, after all the hub-bub, have been afraid of neighbor judgment and alienation if we were to install one ourselves. Plan B was to strategically plant hedges and trees in order to create natural privacy. As we weighed the cost and the plan and how much yard we actually wanted to consume, a sight from the kitchen window caught our attention. Our beautiful new (flipper) neighbors re-landscaped their whole fenceline at the back of our property!! Yup. Trees, bushes, lovely long grasses … it’s wonderful. We get the privacy (kind of) and didn’t have to pay a dime. Woo-hoo!
9. I’m glad that I have a few days “off” in which to catch up around here. This poor house has been pitifully neglected for the last couple weeks. Laundry piles have reached record heights and I can’t remember the last time our cupboards and fridge were this sparsely stocked.
10. I’m glad to have found a new author! I tend to find one I like and then read everything written by that person. This works well because I feel secure trusting a known author. But it sucks when I read faster than the author writes and then I’m stuck with nothing new to read. Have I mentioned that I love my Kindle? Well, I do. One of the reasons why is because I get the first few chapters of any book for free. I can read those without paying a nickel, then decide if I want to buy the book. It’s so much easier than trying to corral two preschoolers in Barnes & Noble while I decide whether or not I like a specific new-to-me author. Anyway, thanks to Kindle (Oh, I love my husband and how well he knows me!! Thank you again, Rick, for the best-ever Mother’s Day gift!! EVER!!) I discovered Tracey Bateman. I read this book over the weekend and am already part way into another. She’s funny, witty, smart … I love it. If you liked Camy Tang’s Sushi series, you’ll love Tracey Bateman’s Drama Queens series. They’re contemporary, sassy, authentic … just fun reads. Grab a couple for the summer.
I have woefully exceeded my online time for the morning. Gotta run!
It started with my bra in the toilet.
Oh, there is so much I want to write to you!! Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait a bit longer to hear most of it. This week is VBS which means we’re crazy busy in this house. Happy and joyful and busy. The kids LOVE VBS and are already singing all the songs nonstop. They raved about their days to Daddy for hours last night. In fact, I think they talked about their experiences longer than the actual experiences lasted. Anywho, they’re happy and learning about Jesus and that makes me estatic. I love it!
Today is Tuesday and that means Mama Loves. Well, Mama loves that even when everything seems to going wrong, God rules.
Yesterday started with my bra being dropped in the toilet. Fortunately, I had an extra clean one ready, but still — it wasn’t the brightest (or dryest) start to my day. Everything went downhill from there. My contacts tore. I lost my make-up bag. My hair was NOT doing nice things so I had an emergency bang-cutting session. (I know, I know … Never cut your hair for a bad hair day! Just trust me: it had to be done.) Then Zach started screaming that he hates VBS and refused to put his shoes. The wailing continued as I dragged him barefoot to the car. We arrived with glasses-clad, tear-streaked faces — Please remember I’m one of the “adult Bible class” teachers this week. I’m sure we epitomized the respectable, leadership family in that moment. Fast forward to half an hour later. Zach still clung to my neck (even after the opening sessions had ended) and his dear friend Nathan was cuddled, literally in the fetal position, under the pews. I bribed the two into a semblance of submission with the promise of cookies, then I dashed into the shadows while they trailed the teachers who were already halfway down some secret hallway I’d never seen before.
Yup. It was an interesting morning. But God worked it all out! He arranged it so that I didn’t have to teach until well after Zach was settled and poor Nathan had resumed an upright position. God even gave me time to make extra copies. Then He was with me all through my class! Things flew out of my mouth that I hadn’t planned to say, but every word was well-received by the women in my class. (As a sidenote, I expected maybe six people to attend. I’ve got some pretty stiff competition with the other teachers. I had NINETEEN women come to my class! And they all seemed to really enjoy it. That’s quite the accomplishment on God’s part, especially with the stuff He had coming out of my mouth. You know, taboo words like “submission.” Even I cringed when I heard the word burst forth from my lips. I’m a big proponent of Biblical submission, but I don’t like standing in front of that many women and saying it out loud. I expected crusty bagels and half-empty coffee cups to be flung my way. But God is good. He made Himself known. Best of all: He made it abundantly clear that I am in control of nothing. And I love that. That means that even when I have terrible day, even when I make a thousand mistakes, He can still redeem the pieces into something beautiful, something that brings Him glory.
All right. I gotta run. Today is another day and I can’t wait to see what happens!
In case you’re curious, yesterday I taught about Tamar. Today’s topic is Rahab. I’ll catch you later.
Recipe Swap Sunday: Mini Sausage Quiches
Happy Father’s Day!
I have to admit: this holiday has always been to me one of mixed emotions. My father and I had glimpses of a good relationship. We had moments in time, some that even stretched for a few months on end, in which everything seemed to be right. The father I longed to have in my life was actually there, real and tangible. But for most of my life, my dad was not that.
I spent twenty years wondering what my life would be like if those moments were the reality and not just a quickly-fading oasis. What if my relationship with my dad reflected all those I see in movies and with my friends? I did more than wonder. I prayed and worked and changed to bring about what I wanted.
Then, after finally realizing that I couldn’t dream away reality, that I couldn’t change what was real into what I fantasized it should be (even if I was right about what families should be!), I spent the next ten years healing. Rather, I spent them allowing God to heal me. In that time I witnessed some amazing things. My father-in-law, who has embraced me as his own … my husband, who is the most amazing father I’ve ever seen — better even than those in the movies! These two men have allowed me to be part of what should be. They’ve given me a better understanding of God the Father and the depths of His love for me. They’ve given me reason to praise Yahweh for all the blessings in my life, the greatest of which is watching my children grow up with “should-be” families, whole families that exhibit strong, godly men who love their wives and sacrifice for their children.
This is a good day. And I feel honored to have men in my life whom I may honor with thankfulness. When you know a man who gives so much, thanks seems so inadequate doesn’t it?
So I usually give thanks with food. This recipe is one of Rick’s favorites. It comes from my sister; I’ve no idea where she got it, but it’s great. It’s a little labor-intensive, but so very worth it. The first time you make it, set aside about an hour, start to finish. Once you get the hang of it, you should be able to throw them together in less time. If you don’t have that much time in the morning, cook the sausage the night before. This will allow you to get the whole thing done in under 30 minutes.
Mini Sausage Quiches
- 1 can refrigerated flaky biscuits dough
- 1 lbs ground breakfast sausage
- 2 eggs, slightly beaten
- 2 c cottage cheese
- ½ c parmesan cheese
- dash of pepper
- 2-3 scallions, chopped
Preheat oven to 375’. Cook and drain sausage.
Separate cold biscuits into thin layers. Place one layer in each well of a greased muffin pan. Spoon sausage into each well.
Mix remaining ingredients in a separate bowl and spoon over sausage. Bake at 375’ – about 15 minutes for mini muffins; 20 for regular size.
Argh.
I spent at least twenty minutes this morning writing a post for you. The phone rang. I answered it. Came back and worked a little longer. When I clicked my mouse, everything disappeared. Yup. I spent another ten minutes trying to find it. It’s gone. And you’ll have to wait until another day to read it, because my real life is waiting.
Next week is VBS and I still have some prep work to do on that. Furthermore, I think I see the sun and I know I just heard the dryer buzz. I’m off. Have a happy Friday, all! I’ll blog ya later.
WFMW: Scripture Memorization
It is so very important to memorize Scripture. Sometimes, being in “safe” Western cultures, we think we don’t need to commit verses to memory because we can always look it up. We’re not under fierce persecution; we always have Bibles available. While this may be true in part, there is no substitution for having God’s Word tucked safely in our hearts. Scripture is valuable to our everyday life. Knowing its power, why wouldn’t we want to memorize it?
That’s all fine and good. We can agree whole-heartedly and shout our “Amen!”s from the balcony. The tough part is not the reasons, but the method. How do we actually do it? How do we keep all the verse organized? How do we keep from forgetting them? And how do we get our kids to do it?
Here’s what works for us.
WHAT: What verses do you memorize? Where do you start?
All Scripture is God-breathed (1 Timothy 3:16); all of it is useful for edification, so you can start anywhere! For our family verses, Rick and I pick them, then we all learn them as a a family. Sometimes it’s a favorite verse we want the kids to know, like John 3:16 or Romans 3:23. Sometimes we choose verse based on specific issues in our family, like Joshua 1:9 (to help the kids overcome fear) or Philippians 2:14 (to combat complaining hearts). As soon as we get one down, we start on the next. We’ve chosen to memorize everything in NIV (New International Version) because this is the version our school uses. Hopefully this will help the kids as they advance and have to memorize for classes. If we’ve already learned some of the homework verses, they won’t have to re-memorize in the preferred translation.
Another way to memorize is by book. Sara at Walk Slowly, Live Wildly is memorizing the whole book of James in 2009 and has challenged her readers to do the same. (I mentioned it a couple months ago.) By the way, you really should visit her site (click here!!) to learn more about WHY we should memorize Scripture. She’s written it much better than I could. While living in Bosnia, I memorized the book of Philippians. It’s such a great exercise! And those letters, those verses, will come back to you when you need them.
WHEN: When do you do it?
We work on our verses during dinner and review them again at bedtime. I also work on them with the kids whenever we’re stuck somewhere waiting: in the doctor’s office, the lobby of the Chinese take-out place, at red lights … wherever, really! We’re intentional about it, but we also work on it whenever we encounter a lull throughout the day. Kids learn best by repetition, so the more you work on it, the faster they’ll learn it.
HOW: How do you get the kids to learn it? How do you keep it organized? How do you keep from forgetting some?
Kids learn very quickly. Just think about all the shows they can quote or the silly songs they learn from friends. They won’t have trouble learning Scripture, if you make it a priority to teach them. If you have trouble, get a little creative. I’ve made up tunes, chants and motions for a few of our verses. Whenever Zach gets stuck on James 1:19, I sing just two little notes, and he’s got the rest of the verse in no time.
To keep our verses organized and actually remembered, I use a couple tools. First, this nifty notecard thing from RealSimple. (Yes, I’m becoming more like Martha everyday. ) I use this for our family verses.
It’s not terribly pretty, but it’s functional. And one of these days I’ll pull out my stamps and cute papers and beautify it. In the meantime, it works great! Inside are lined, perforated cards organized by color.
You could use the colors (yellow, red, green, blue) to separate verses by topic: salvation, encouragement, love, etc., if you like. Or designate one color for each member of your family so you can chart progress or work on different verses chosen by that person. The silver bolt in the corner is actually a screw. You can unscrew it and reorganize without have to tear out pages. The whole thing is small, fits perfectly in my purse, a kitchen drawer, wherever we want to keep it. I like having Scripture posted around my house, but when you get up to 20-30 verses, it starts to be more like wallpaper than a reminder. It’s nice to have so much condensed into a small, neat package.
So that’s what I use for our family.
For my personal memorization goals, I use this Verse Purse from Palmetto Handmade. (Apparently green is my color for Scripture memorization. Both of these items are available in other colors and patterns.)
This fits neatly in the smallest handbags. In fact, I take it everywhere with me. The little loop on the side is perfect for attaching to key chains.
The verses are printed on business cards. You can print your own or order them from Palmetto. She has a ton of great packs available: Love & Marriage, Faith, Heaven, Friendship, ABC’s, Proverbs 31 and many more. You can even request what you want, and she’ll make them for you. She’s great! (You can visit Kristi’s site at Good Like a Medicine.)
So, that’s what works for us. Get more real life tips during Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.
Today, I refuse to be a statistic.
I know I should blog. All the posts in my head are telling me so. But I’m taking the day off. I’ve got two gorgeous children seeking home from school, a stack of books waiting to be read and a Bible study to finish writing. The last thing I want to do right now is continue being a statistic.
Report: 90% of Waking Hours Spent Staring at Glowing Rectangles brought to you by The Onion: America’s Finest News Source
I’ll catch y’all tomorrow.
Martha might be on to something.
Today is Day One: the first official day of summer vacation. I am filled with an anxious excitement and a little fear. I’ve gotten so used to our school schedule, which allows me ample one-on-one time with each kid, that now I feel a little lost knowing I’ll have them both all the time for next ten weeks. It’ll be fantastic, I’m sure. But today the task feels daunting.
Carpoolqueen recently wrote about Martha Stewart. The post was cute, but the comments were hysterical. I think all American women harbor a love/hate relationship with Martha. She makes things look so simple that really aren’t. We want to be “perfect” like her, but when we try we realize how utterly ridiculous she is and how impractical her priorities may be. Please note: I’m not dissing the woman. She’s immortal, or at least an alien, and if that works for her, great. But in the real world real human women have real problems. Problems bigger than trying to crease perfect ninety degree angles into our sheets.
I digress.
After reading CPQ‘s blog (and all the corresponding comments about what Martha activity sent real women over the top, thus forcing said real woman to stop watching/reading her), I went about my typical non-Martha day. Until I got to the grocery store. There in front of me was the glossy July issue of Martha Stewart Living. I chuckled to myself, then noticed how the cover advertised a section on cooking lobster (a definitely summer weakness in the Dennis household). I had to buy it. Then I spent the afternoon leafing through its pages, reminding myself how utterly inadequate I am why I don’t buy into her enterprise and “you can do it all” philosophy.
At the front of the magazine she gives her calendar. It’s filled with her daily activities for the whole month: harvesting cucumbers, beans, potatoes and currants; making jams, jellies and pickles; dinner dates, yoga appointments and antique shows. She tells us when she’ll raise her lawn mower blade (you know, because she mows so much herself, she knows exactly when grass growth slows and the season gets drier) and when she’ll move her horses to the East Hampton estate or train the grape vines at “the cold house” (whatever that means). I laughed at seeing not one, but THREE housekeepers’ birthdays. (Seriously. How many housekeepers does she have? Do they all have birthdays in July or are there enough to fill the annual calendar?) And we can’t forget her pets’ birthdays which are oh-so-relevant to my life.
Yes, I was quite morose.
But this morning, as I looked over the horizon into the open expanse of my next ten weeks, I decided Martha might be on to something.
I keep calendars and schedules, but nothing quite this detailed. And never with “mundane” tasks allocated to specific dates. I kinda like the idea. I consistently reasurre Ellie that we’ll make it to story time at the library next time, but then never remember when it is. I want to take the kids to museums and new parks and such, but never actually make solid plans to do it. I have crafts and project ideas roaming the halls of my mind, waiting for the opportunity. But too often they stay there, jailed by my fear of elaborate messes and stressful preparations. I think I’ll make a summer calendar. I’m going to follow (Really? Can I say this?) Martha’s example and free those waiting ambitions, those family memories yet to be made.
Today is Day One.
What I Learned this week
My girl is growing up. Ellie graduated from preschool this year. I’m really sad about it. I don’t want to talk about this lesson any more.
Taste buds never regenerate. This new-to-me fact kinda freaks me out. So, every time I burn my tongue on some amazingly hot coffee I’m killing taste buds that will never grow back. When I bite my tongue, I’m condemning my octogenarian self to possibly never again taste my favorite foods. This means that “acquired tastes” are not actually acquired, but proof of tastes lost. Old people like prunes and lima beans and other such bland and gross stuff simply because it all tastes the same to them. Lobster, steak, spam … what’s the difference?
Speaking of really hot coffee, I discovered this week that we don’t own a thermos. After thirty-two years of living, ten years of marriage and a solid six-year coffee addiction, I don’t own a single hot beverage container. How is that possible?
I like having a boy. Both of our pregnancies were surprises to us, but our second was definitely not by our plan. Shock number one. Then we found out he was going to be a boy. Shock number two. Now, almost four years later, I can admit I LOVE having a boy! Shock number three. Sure, he’s gross and silly and obsessed with bodily functions. He makes up words and calls everyone a “boogie.” He daring and dangerous and thinks everything is funny if it ends in the release of gasses or something that sounds like the release of gas. But he’s so precious! He’s the funniest little guy and cute to boot. He challenges me. Not only in mundane things like my character, patience and parenting skills, but also in really important things. Like how many different ways can I create tracks.
As much fun as it is to build, it seems destruction is the favored activity around here. There is a reason my collection of porceline tea sets are still in boxes five years after moving here.
This is our “fix-it” pile. Yup. A beheaded Willow Tree child, a broken plate, a random screw … I’m sure we’ll figure out what that goes to some day. The teapot has been fixed, but still sports a scar from its previous encounter with my children. You’re probably wondering what that piece is in the middle, next to the head. It goes to another teapot, one that I later found here:
I’m told this is a “contraption.” I tried to free the poor injured china, but quickly discovered it was tied to the “Star of the Week” box (the purplish thing on the left) with Snowball’s leash (Snowball is the newest name for the plastic dog sitting behind the blue paddle.) and Tinkerbell stickers. The inventors say this “contraption” shoots fire at pirate soldiers.
An attempted Scripture reading
What follows is an actual dialog from bedtime. Please note that my children have heard this story several times. They’ve even seen it acted out by vegetables.
Me, reading from the NIrV, starting at Joshua 5:13: “‘When Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him. The man was holding a sword.’“
Zach: “A sword?! Like a pirate?”
Ellie: “No. It was Jesus. It’s always Jesus.”
Me: “It was an angel. (Back to Scripture) The man holding the sword ‘was ready for battle. Joshua went up to him. He asked, “Are you on our side? Or are you on the side of our enemies?” “I am not on either side,” he replied. “I have come as the commander of the LORD’s army.” Then –’“
Ellie: “See. It’s Jesus.”
Me: “He’s not Jesus. ‘Then Joshua fell with his face to the ground. He asked the man, “What message does my Lord have for me?” The commander of the LORD’s army replied, “Take off your sandals. The place you are standing on is holy ground.”‘“
Zach: “Did he fall?”
Me: “What?”
Ellie: “No, Zach. He just took off his shoes ’cause Jesus told him to.”
Me: “He’s not Jesus, baby. He’s an angel.”
Zach: “I think he has stinky feet.”
Me: “‘So Joshua took them off. The gates of Jericho were –’“
Ellie: “Wait! Jericho? We have that movie!”
Me: “Yes, we do. ‘The gates of Jericho were shut tight and guarded closely because of the people of Israel. No one went out. No one came in.’“
Zach: “Were they stuck?”
Me: “‘Then the LORD spoke to Joshua. He said, “I have handed Jericho over to you. I have also handed its king and its fighting men over to you.”‘“
Ellie: “They were fighting?”
Me: “Well, they were fighting men. Like an army.”
Zach: “An army of pirates?”
Me: “No, not pirates.”
Ellie: “What does that mean?”
Me: “What?”
Ellie: “Handing fight-y men.”
Me: “Well, it means that God gave the land and the people to Joshua because — “
Zach: “They can fix things.”
Me: ” — Joshua found favor with God. He obeyed God, so — “
Zach: “Like Handy Manny.”
Me: ” — God took the land away from the people who disobeyed Him.”
Ellie: “Oh.”
Me: “‘”March around the city once with all of your fighting men. In fact, do it for six days.”‘“
Zach: “SIX DAYS?!”
Ellie: “Whoa. That’s a lot.”
Zach: “That’s like THIS many!” (He held up ten fingers.)
Me: “‘“Have seven priests get trumpets that — “‘“
Zach: “Trumpets? I LOVE trumpets! And drums.”
Ellie: “Me too! I love guitars and pianos.”
Me: “‘” … trumpets that are made out of ram’s horns. They must carry them in front of the ark. On the seventh –‘”
Ellie: “The ark?!”
Me: “It’s not Noah’s ark.”
Ellie: “Oh, I know. It’s Joseph’s ark.”
Zach: “I like arks.”
Ellie: “Or is it Moses’ ark?”
Me: “It’s the ark of the covenant. It was — well — let’s just finish the story.”
Ellie: “An ark is a boat, Mom.”
Zach: “Pirates live on boats.”
Me: “I know an ark is a boat, but this is a different kind of ark. It carried the laws of God and — “
Zach: “I like boats.”
Me: “Let’s keep reading. “‘On the seventh day, march around the city seven times. Have the priests blow the trumpets as you march — “‘“
Zach: “Hey, look. Pooh is naked!” (He had removed the red shirt from his plush Winnie the Pooh.)
Ellie: “Pooh is naked!” (They both erupted in laughter.)
Me: “And so they did everything that God said and the walls fell down. ‘So the Lord was with Joshua. And Joshua became famous everywhere in the land.’“
Ellie: “Famous. Wow. I want to be famous.”
Me: “Okay, baby. Get in bed.”
Ellie: “I’m going to be on TV.”
Zach: “And I’m going to be a naked pirate!”
