Archive for April, 2009
In Pursuit of P31 (and a giveaway!)
At the end of this post I’ll tell you about a huge, fabulous giveaway, but first I want to tell you about a new book.
A ton of books have been published about the Proverbs 31 woman. There’s even a whole magazine (probably more!) devoted to becoming more like her. Award-winning author Kathi Macias recently released a new one, one quite different from all the rest.
How Can I Run a Tight Ship When I’m Surrounded by Loose Cannons?
How’s that for a title? Do you ever wonder this? I know I do! I get all my ducks in a row only to have them waddle off on their own.
This book takes a humorous look at the author’s pursuit of the Proverbs 31 woman. When she met Jesus, the author, a self-proclaimed control freak, immediately set out in search of a P31 mentor who could show her how to be a perfect Christian and run the perfect Christian home. Chapter by chapter readers watch her crash and burn as she tries to be everything to everyone and all in her own strength. The good news: she learns from her experiences. The better news: she shares what she learns with us. (more…)
11 comments April 15, 2009
Mama Loves: Angels in Disguise
My weekly exercise in positive blogging, Mama Loves is Philippians 4:8-9 in action. Learn more at this post.
Mama loves angels in disguise.
Last Thursday I woke with this prayer: “God, I’ve done it again. I overbooked myself today. Forgive me and please help me make it through the day with me and my children all in one piece.” (more…)
8 comments April 14, 2009
DUFF Theory
I’ve been told all men carry a DUFF Theory. (Simpsons fans: Forget about Duffman and excessive drinking by rotund, bald men. Yes, I watch the show. No, this post has nothing to do with it.)
The DUFF Theory goes something like this. All female groups of friends contain at least one DUFF: a Designated Ugly Fat Friend. This DUFF is necessary for maintaining positive self-esteem for the skinny, beautiful members of the clique while still making them feel “nice” because they’re friends with someone less desireable than themselves. The DUFF also serves as a chaperone when necessary and a test for future boyfriends. (Remember the Spice Girls? If you wanna get with me, you gotta get with my friends.)
Okay. I don’t think this theory is true, but a number of male friends assure me it is absolute law, carved in stone, never known not to exist. Regardless of its validity, the DUFF theory has been on my mind lately. Not in regards to friends (like whose DUFF am I?) or physical attraction, but rather about spiritual and intellectual growth.
Isn’t it nice to feel like the smartest person in the room? Or the most faithful? Nobody wants to be the spiritual infant of the group. We all want to feel good about ourselves, like we have something extraordinary to contribute. How do we accomplish this? I think there are two ways: become the best (smartest, most spiritual, most compassionate, etc.) or move to another (dumber) room. (more…)
4 comments April 13, 2009
WFMW: Life Balance (and a Giveaway!)
Some people think the dilemma of balancing family and work disappears when you work from home. It doesn’t. I work very parttime as a freelancer, but I still struggle. Here are some tips that help me do what I need to do and escape the chasing guilt that I’m not doing enough or not doing it well enough.
Stop multitasking.
I can’t do it all and, after years of trying, have learned that the more I try to do it all, the less I actually accomplish. Furthermore, what I do accomplish usually falls short of my best. It’s shoddy because I’ve done it with a divided heart and mind. My work — be that actual work (like writing or helping a client) or family work (like household chores or playing with the kids) — shines when I focus. My kids notice when I’m not “all there.” They know when my mind is a thousand miles away. My work notices too. I can’t write and play with the kids at the same time. Articles lose their cohesiveness and they take exponentially longer to write. It’s just not time-efficient. In a world that demands multi-tasking, how do I learn to single-task? (more…)
4 comments April 8, 2009
Mama Loves: Unplugged days
I love Tamar (my new laptop). I love catching up on blogs and playing games on facebook and watching a good movie, but I really love unplugged days. You know those days when the computer and tv stay off. Time seems irrelevant. Everything passes with ease, intentionally slow. Not without purpose, mind you, but with the simple purpose of absorbing the joy of the moment. Today is one of those days.
I’m unplugging in order to relish this day with my kids. It may rain. It may be gross outside, but inside it’ll be just us and a house full of blessings.
Catch y’all tomorrow.
2 comments April 7, 2009
Hairy Races
Fine hair runs in my family. My husband’s family is blessed with gorgeous, shiny thick hair. My brothers have beautifully thick curls. My mother, grandmother and I (and doubtless generations of disappointed women before us) suffer with stick-straight, floss-fine hair. My poor granny also boasted white hair since birth and a receeding hairline that has made us all worry about drive-in movie theatre foreheads.
Ellie’s hair, unfortunately, comes from my side. The girl has gorgeous color and curls to die for, but it’s fine. I don’t mean thin. She has a lot of hair; it’s just fine. If you’re not afflicted with such you may not understand the trouble this causes. It tangles horrendously and can take hours to comb through.
In college I drove with a friend, windows down. I subtly collected all my hair into my hand and held tightly. She didn’t understand and told me to let go. We weren’t going that far and my hair would be fine. We arrived at our destination twenty minutes later, her hair still beautiful and perfectly neat. Mine, however, had been replaced by a huge nest made from straw by a schizophrenic bird. This is the future to which my genes have doomed our daughter. Add this to her curls and every bath day invites torture and lament.
Combing her hair is painful for both of us. Removing the messes takes patience, gentleness, diligence and usually some help – like a life-saving leave-in conditioner.
Sometimes it’s easier to ignore the tangles. Rather than suffer through her crying and my impatience, I’d prefer to pop it all up in a ponytail and forget it. But the tangles always grow. Left untended, they get worse.
Sometimes it’s tempting to only remove some of the rats, the bigger ones, and let the smaller ones wait for another day. I mean, isn’t forty minutes of combing enough? If it’s not done in that timeframe, then maybe it really doesn’t need to be done. If the top layers look nice, the rest can wait – right? I admit: sometimes I give in to this temptation, but come next bath day, I have to answer for my haste with greater diligence.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because the messes in our lives are the same. We may be tempted to let them be, ignore them or just save the conflict for another day. But we need to deal with our problems. Yes, it takes work and will likely involve pain, but the alternative will cause more pain. We need to remove the sin from our lives, no matter how big or small. I’m not saying all of our tangles are related to sin, but if it is, then we need to root it out. If it’s not, we still need to deal with it if we want to continue to grow in our faith and be used by God to our greatest potential.
There is good news! Just as I would never tackle Ellie’s hair without help, we cannot tackle our problems alone either. To do so is futile, setting ourselves up for failure. Praise God we have life-saving help! No leave-in conditioner, but rather we have a pool or resources. Prayer. Faithful friends. Encouraging Scripture. God-fearing teachers and leaders. Accountability. Best of all: the Holy Spirit on our side who knows our weaknesses. When we remove the tangles that encumber us, we can run faithfully the race laid out before us. We can be champions!
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
- Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)
1 comment April 6, 2009
The Onion
Do you read The Onion? If you’ve not yet discovered this site, you must give it a visit. It’s hysterical. I started reading last year when they wrote about the failed novelists strike. Click on that link. Real funny stuff.
This week they posted another one that nearly had me in tears: Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There. It even boasts graphics not to be missed.
2 comments April 4, 2009
Blog Tour: Sticks and Stones
Bestselling author of over sixty books, Ace Collins, has just released his newest title: Sticks and Stones.
Drawing on personal experience and anecdotes collected throughout his long writing career, the author presents a compilation of wisdom on the power of words. While certainly inspirational for writers and speakers, this book is truly geared toward unprofessional speakers. In other words: YOU. The book is meant for everyone, regardless of profession, position or prosperity. We all use words — with our families, our friends, our coworkers, our neighbors. The stories and action steps provided encourage everyone to use “words as a positive force.” The book challenges readers to be intentional and uplifting in communication, to take advantage of every opportunity to edify those around us.
Here’s what the author had to say in a recent interview.
What are the major themes of the book?
I once heard that folks use about 30,000 words a day in either written or oral form. It dawned on me that most of those words have either no impact or make a negative impact. In a world filled with people using words to cut others down, I opted to create a book that encouraged what I feel everyone should do — which is use our language to lift people up.
Why do you think we need to be intentional with our words?
If you don’t think about what you say, more often than not your words will either hurt others or will be quickly forgotten. Either one of those things represents a lost opportunity to make this world a better place. And we need more people involved in bringing light to this dark planet. I think that is what God would want us to do!
What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
I pray that they realize they do change the world with their words and actions.
What has God been teaching you lately?
Patience. The timing of all things is His not mine. Hence I have to wait on having dreams realized. I don’t mind telling you that when you are excited about ideas and want to see them in print now, it is hard to wait.
Where are you headed next?
Wherever the road leads. I’m having a blast right now. I have four books coming out this year, at least two more next year. I have a new novel series. After more than fifty books, I can’t believe how much fun I am having. It is just as much of a joy today as it was when I started. Oh, and I would like to find a 1932 Auburn convertible hidden away in a barn and bring it back to life.
Buy the book now at Amazon.com for 32% off the cover price — just $11.55!
Visit the author’s website at www.AceCollins.com.
Learn more by visiting other stops on the blog tour. Find reviews of the book, personal interviews with the author and more. Click here for a full list of participating bloggers.
1 comment April 2, 2009
WFMW in Reverse
Typically Works for Me Wednesday encourages me to post something very helpful, something I’ve found that works. This week it’s running in reverse. I get to ask YOU for help with something! I like this much better because I’m confident all of you know way more than I do. I just talk more. So here’s my question:
How do you get your kids to clean their rooms and take proper care of their things?
I know, I know it’s the never-answered question, but I need help! Our general rule is that you must put away one thing before pulling out another. This is not to say you can’t play with more than one thing at a time IF you are actually playing with it. But it is impossible to play with EVERYTHING at the same time, and so what is not being used must be put away first. This works well when the kids actually do it. But sometimes they don’t, and the mess simply snowballs. Sometimes I don’t enforce the rule as I should, like when we have friends over or host play dates.
We’ve tried just everything I can think of to stave off an avalanche: a reward system, a daily magnetic chore chart, taking toys away, taking room decor away (My girl loves her pink curtains more than anything!), restricting playtime with friends and even grounding them from going outside on a gorgeous day … like yesterday.
After more than a week of impassable rooms — Literally. There was no place to walk without stepping on something. — I gave them a deadline. Anything not put away by 5pm would be thrown away. Before you think I’m cruel, understand this ultimatum came after I had already cleaned most of both their rooms. I do help them clean! But I also want them to take responsibility and care properly for their toys. Messy rooms lead to broken and lost toys. Anyway, after making the declaration, I reminded them several times throughout the day, but they just kept ignoring the threat and the deadline. I set a timer to remind them when the deadline was just fifteen minutes away. Come 5pm their rooms were still disastrous and I had no choice but to fill a very large bag with their floor droppings. The girl cried so severely we thought she would vomit. The boy calmly helped me put his favorite toys into the garbage bag and then pointed out toys I had missed in my first round.
So now what do I do? Do I REALLY throw away everything I took? Or stash it in the garage to be given back as rewards later? Will that diminish my threat and authority?
Okay, so that’s more than one question, but you can help me – right?
To read more dilemmas and share your wisdom visit Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.
11 comments April 1, 2009
March Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks
Happy April! The first of the month means a review of the last. Here are some of my favorite kid quotes from March. Enjoy!
Ellie: “I put chopsticks on my lips all the time when they’re dry.”
(This is not about dry chopsticks, but rather dry lips and chapstick.)
Zach: “Daddy’s a boy and Ben is a boy and I’m a boy. I think that means Ben and Ellie’s brother are TWINS!!”
Ellie: “I have an idea for a new project! We take celery and pop on a head, and it’s a camel! Camels say ‘uuuuuurrrrr!!’ U-R urrrrrrr. Do camels have legs?”
Me: “Oh, no. A bird pooped on the car.”
Ellie: “Are we allowed to say bird poop?”
Me: “Well — “
Zach: “POOP! Poopy! Poopy! Poopy! Poopy! Poopy! BIRD POOP!”
Ellie: “Mom, I need to go to bed now. I have five things I’m sick about today. One: my eyes are itchy, and I can’t see. Two: my ears are funny, and I can’t hear well during the night. Three: I can’t smell well. Four: I have a teef-cut. And five: my fingernails are a little bit hurty.”
(It’s allergy season. I’m not sure what a “teefcut” is, but I think it has something to do with biting her cheek. Maybe.)
Zach: “But I’m not tired because — One: I’m hungry. And, two: I don’t want to.”
(Obviously, counting is a big deal around here.)
Zach: “Only pee-pee came out. I think my poopy went to the library in my tummy. He’ll go downstairs later when he’s ready to come out.”
(I have no idea where he got the idea for compartmentalizing his body, but I think it’s so funny! We call our upstairs loft “the library”, so maybe … yeah, I don’t know.)
Me: “Ellie, what do you want to wear today?”
Ellie: “Oh, Mom, I can’t! My mind and my thinking mind are fighting, so I can’t think.
Me: “Huh? What are they fighting about?”
Ellie: “My mind and my thinking mind … (grunt) want a clean basketball, but … oh! They can’t get the mud … My thinking mind … and then my walking mind said — (grunt) … Ah, that’s better.
Me, laughing: “Are you okay?”
Ellie: “Yeah. I want to wear my Tinkerbell shirt, but my eating mind wants some peanuts. Can I have some peanuts?”
And in case anyone has doubts about sinful nature, this is what my cherubs said yesterday:
Zach: “We need to find money.”
Me: “Why?”
Zach: “To put in our piggy banks.”
Ellie: “And we found LOTS!”
Zach: “Yup, yup.”
Me: “Where?”
Ellie: “In your room!”
Zach: “You gots lots of purses!”
Ellie, conspiratorially whispered as they walked away: “Don’t let Mommy interfere. We’re gonna steal all her monies!”
Zach, with a menacing laugh: “Yeah! You look in her guitar and I’ll check her shoes. Ha, ha, ha!”
3 comments April 1, 2009
