Archive for April 27th, 2009
Friends or not
I watched two neighbor girls, ages seven and eight, swat each other’s behinds while running across my front yard. One of them tried to explain: “That’s what best friends do. You’ll understand when Ellie is older.”
I saw my daughter stare at them with obvious envy. She wants to be in their little clique. Meanwhile my insides silently scream in protest.
It’s not that they’re bad kids. It’s not that I don’t want Ellie to have friends. It’s that I want to be her best friend.
Okay, so maybe I’m selfish and naive and a little sadistic, but I want to be the one Ellie longs to be with. I want to be the one that she learns from and strives to imitate. I want to be the one from whom she seeks approval and gains her self image. Friends, without exception, influence each other. I want to be the only one who influences my girl.
I know it won’t happen. I know she’ll grow and make many friends throughout her life, including these most impressionable years. I know very few kids really want to hang out with their moms, and never all the time. (However, I will say I rank pretty high on the “cool factor” so far. All the kids want to hang out with me! At least I’m convinced of such for now.)
I also know this is how God feels about me. He wants to be my best friend, my hero, my idol. He wants to be the One I long to be with, to be like and to please. Am I chasing after His likeness and His approval? Or am I following others? Am I allowing my self image to be formed by those who hardly know me? Who do I imitate?
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”- Ephesians 5:1-2 (NASB)
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”- James 4:8a (NASB)
Oh, Lord, plant in me a craving for You. I want to desire You more than anything else. Make me insatiable for your Word. May I never tire of seeking after You. Forgive me for chasing those things that only make me less like You. I long to be exactly who You made me to be: a unique reflection of You. Lord God, hear my prayer.
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