Archive for March, 2009
Mama Loves: Blatant honesty
Mama Loves is my weekly exercise in positive blogging. Learn more at this post.
This week reminded me how much Mama loves blatant honesty.
Anyone who has ever spent time around preschoolers or knows anyone who has knows they speak their minds. No internal censor exists. What they see and think is what you get. I love it. Sure, a little tact might be nice once in a while, but they have plenty of time to learn that. For now, I find it refreshing to be around people who say exactly what they observe. Here are some of my favorites from this week.
Ellie: “Mommy, you have hair all over skin! Your body’s covered with it, just like Grandpa.”
Ellie: “Mama, you’ve got lots of freckles. I don’t like freckles. Maybe you should put make-up on those.”
Zach, while patting my thigh: “You’re so jiggly.”
Zach: “Please stop singing. You’re giving me a headache.”
Yup. There’s nothing like a couple preschoolers to tell it like it is. A perfectly wonderful humbling experience.
3 comments March 31, 2009
Help for OMIF Disease
I can already tell this week has a theme. I’ve already written Mama Loves for tomorrow and this week we’ll have the March edition of Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks, so I might as well regale you with some of my wonderful lines. Here’s the week’s theme verse, hopefully an aid in preventing Open Mouth Insert Foot Disease.
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
- Psalm 141:3 (NIV)
I have struggled wtih OMIF Disease most of my life. I remember when it began. I was around ten years old, I think. My brother and I were at my step-grandparents’ home for Christmas, along with our dad and the whole step-family. I always liked my step-grandad. He was cool. They had a pool table in the basement. A paneled basement. That’s what I remember. The next thing I remember Grandad asking me what I was thinking. He said he could always tell when I was thinking, that I thought about everything before I said it. For some reason, this concerned me. I didn’t want to seem timid or insecure. I wanted to speak freely and confidently whatever was on my mind. That’s when it began. I stopped thinking before speaking and have ever since been plagued by two wide feet stuck in my gaping mouth. It only gets worse when I’m excited or nervous. Those emotions collide at writers’ conferences. Here are some of my favorite faux pas, all accomplished while attempting to present myself as a professional writer.
While “networking,” I introduced myself then asked someone and what he wrote. He told me about his suspense/thriller novels. I reacted in kind about my nonfiction work (unpublished) then told him I’d see him around and wished him best of luck at the conference. I later realized he was part of the faculty and a very successful author. Like, gobs of books I have (obviously) never read.
I sat at a table with a faculty member and blurted out: “Hi! I’m Tanya and someone told me I need to talk to you about something, but I can’t remember what or why. How you doin’? Can I write for you?” Yup. Lasting first impression.
My dream agent invited me to a one-on-one lunch to discuss my career plans. Spaghetti sauce splattered on his shirt. He asked if I would mind if he took it off. He wore layers. I said, “Only if I can take mine off too.” I was not wearing layers. A DISASTEROUS attempt at humor!! After a very long silence I admitted how completely inappropriate that was and how very nervous I was and “Can we just forget I said that?”
I definitely need a guard over my mouth.
5 comments March 30, 2009
Random thoughts for the week
I haven’t blogged in a few days. As I’ve formerly expressed, I am trying to schedule my writing into the rest of my life so that it becomes and habit and all that good stuff, but I still only have so much time. That time must be divided among research, blogging, writing and editing. So if I’m not around for a few days, just know I’m good, just probably off working on another project. Such has been the case lately.
But I miss you all! It’s weird. I know you’re not really here on my little site, but I feel that if I’m not posting regularly, somehow I’m missing out on all of you. Or maybe the sharing of me is integral to community, just as the sharing of you.
I read a fun book this week. One of my editing clients writes young adult novels — (You can download her latest though Wild Child Publishing HERE. It’s a great read! You’ll love it.) — so I’ve been trying to read more YA fiction to familiarize myself more with the genre, market, etc. The book I read this week … well, I can’t wait for Ellie to be old enough to read it! It was a breath of fresh air for a parent who desperately wants her kids to enjoy being kids. Our culture pushes teens to act like adults, tweens to act like college students and preschoolers to know all about “High School Musical.” This book, The Teashop Girls, offered an honest portrayal of young girls coming of age while still encouraging them to be kids — to enjoy tea, friendships, family and all the things that are really important. The book contained nothing immodest, vulgar, explicit or adult. There wasn’t even any kissing! Of course, they talked about it — they are girls, after all! But instead of pushing girls to be more adult, it encouraged girls to just be themselves. It validated the difficulties of adolescence without belittling them and let girls know it was okay to be a little awkward, a little shy and a little unsure about growing up. It really was fantastic. Of course, I can’t talk all about it without giving you a link. You can read my full review there on Amazon, too. Just scroll down.
Since I’m already talking about the book, let me quote one piece of it. The main character’s grandmother has traveled the world and now runs a teashop in Madison, Wisconsin. While sharing her wisdom with the girls, she says “Prayer is talking to God, but meditation is listening to God.” She then went on to explain that mediation is not about emptying your mind, as many people believe, but that it’s about allowing your mind some quiet in which it may align all of it’s thoughts into a cohesive order. This is a mainstream book and it doesn’t mention God anywhere except this one small section. I just thought that was an interesting insight.
In other random news, I finally watched the version of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly. Too many people told me it was better than the BBC version. I loved the movie, but must disagree. I think Keira Knightly did a wonderful job as Elizabeth Bennet, but I simply cannot imagine Mr. Darcy as anyone other than Colin Firth. The revisiting of this story has forced me to pull out my copy of the novel yet again. Oh, I may be speaking with a British intonation for a few weeks as a result.
Why do Jane Austen stories always make me wish I were British? Does this happen to anyone else? Rick laughed heartily at my unintentional and quite atrocious accent all day. It just happens.
All right. Saturday night pizza is here, and I must go. Hope all of you have a delightful weekend!
4 comments March 28, 2009
Mama Loves Sleep.
It’s Tuesday. On this blog, that means Mama Loves.
Mama loves sleep.
Recently the kids initiated a new nighttime pattern. Zach starts screaming around 11pm. I think he dreams about dinosaurs. He thought dinos were cool until about a week ago. Now he’s dreadfully afraid of them, so much so that he won’t wear his Toy Story t-shirt any more. It shows the whole gang, including Rex. You remember Rex – right? The only dinosaur tamer than Rex is Barney and — well, Barney kinda scares me, so maybe Zach has his reasons for being afraid of Rex. Anyway, about an hour after we get Zach back to sleep, Ellie comes knocking on our door. She’s scared and thirsty and wants allergy medicine and can’t get back to sleep. In truth, she just wants to sleep with us. So, for the last few nights (I’d say four or five) I have been squished between Rick and Ellie, trying not to get too hot under the down comforter that I can’t get out from under because they’re both either lying on top of it or clutching it tightly. I also spend my nights trying not to move too much (so Rick can get enough sleep for work) and protecting all my vital parts (in case a stray elbow or foot should hurtle toward me).
Mama loves sleep, but I’m not getting much lately. And that’s okay. Every time I suffer sleep deprivation, I remember these verses.
“Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare.”
- Proverbs 20:13 (NIV)
“In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.”
- Psalm 127:2 (NIV)
I know God loves me and eventually He’ll grant me the sleep I long for. Until then, I treasure the cuddles while I’m awake. Mama loves sleep and cuddles! And trips to the park. I love sunshiny days and kids running after kites that won’t fly. I love building intricate patterns with the dozens of pieces of Thomas train tracks. Mama loves good food, Girl Scout cookies and watching Zach’s face as he drops quarters in the offering. I love the songs Ellie sings. I love the stories Zach tells. I love that they share their imaginary friends. I love that they know their friends are imaginary, but still act as if they’re real and I’m friends with “Mousy” and “Dennis”s parents. I love that my kids love each other. I love that even when I think I have little to be grateful for, naming just one opens a floodgate of blessings. I am indeed a very rich woman.
Give it a try. What are you grateful for this week? What are you loving about your life?
1 comment March 24, 2009
The problem with living here.
I really like where we live, but the New York Metro area is a killer for my contentment.
I’m generally a pretty content person. I don’t say this from pride or false humility; I just know me. While living in Bosnia, I was perfectly happy to have no running water and a bedroom with no windows, but dozens of enormous spiders. I didn’t care that I bathed only twice a week or that we swam in the same river that graciously received our sewage. While living in the ghetto of Philadelphia, I never once complained about needing bars on our windows or having to take the train to school. I didn’t even mind (terribly) the smell of urine in the subway. That’s just the way it was, and I was okay with that.
The difference between then and now is the semblance of equality. I didn’t mind those situations because everyone around me was generally in the same boat. No one had excessively different circumstances than anyone else. Yes, I knew that all the world did not live this way; I saw long-distance friends living drastically “better” lives, but those I interacted with on a daily basis all shared the same basic standard of living. I made a cognitive choice to live with less knowing that’s where I wanted to be and that was what was expected and normal for that place.
I can’t say the same for here. It is extremely expensive to live here and the means of those in this area vary enormously.
Now, before I go any further, let me squelch the whole cost of living argument some of you already have stuck in your throats. I’ve lived on the East Coast for fifteen years. I lived in the Midwest for seventeen years. (Most of my family still lives there.) I have also lived in Europe. Whenever I start talking about the expense of living in this area, people who don’t live here immediately pummel me with their convictions that, yes, it is more expensive, but salaries are equally higher because of cost of living allowances. This is not true. Don’t believe me? Check this out.
A physical therapist in New York makes approximately the same as a physical therapist in Pennsylvania or Kentucky. (I know because I have a number of friends who are physical therapists, all living in different states but all bringing home similar paychecks.) Now consider this: a 4-bedroom, 2 1/2 bath farm house on 5 1/2 acres in Indiana currently lists at $135K. The house immediately behind us — a 2-bedroom, 1 bath Cape Cod style home on 1/10 of an acre — just sold for $225K. You can get more than FIFTY TIMES the land for $90K less! And a house that’s twice as big plus the barn and stables and everything else you need to run a ranch. The minuscule pay raise cannot compensate. Pay is simply disproportionate to the higher cost of living.
But not everyone works as a physical therapist. Some jobs indeed pay more here than in other places. You all watch the news. You know the salaries of top executives, traders, bankers and the like. As I take our kids around town — to the park, ballet, the doctor, wherever — I hear other moms talk about their housekeepers, their gardeners, their remodeling projects, their weekly ski trips and more. ”Can you believe they listed their house for one-point-three? I expected them to get at least two million for it.” “We’re hiring a decorator for the summer house again. We’ve had the same decor for almost three years!” “I don’t know if we’ll keep Savannah in ballet. She’s excelling at tennis and gymnastics; I really want her to take sailing lessons this year, too.” “Do you like my new handbag? It was only $400! I would have bought two, but they only had it in this color.”
I’m not jealous. It’s not about that. Really. I don’t want my kids run ragged from this to that or raised by a nanny and tutors. I love my life! I like our house! I would be terrified (and guilt-ridden) to walk around with a handbag that cost more than thirty bucks. That’s just not me, and it’s not what I want for my family.
It’s just difficult not to compare.
After a morning of being ignored by the snooty rich moms, I spend the afternoon browsing real estate listings online, dreaming about what life would be like if I lived in a place like that or had the money for someone else to clean my house and do my laundry. Then I wander over to the job listings to explore the possibilities of living elsewhere. After an hour or so of my futile scheming, God reminds me that He has us here for a reason. I’m not always sure what that reason is, but He knows. And He’s in charge.
2 comments March 23, 2009
A Prayer for the Journey
My friend Kellie sent this to me this week. I immediately copied it to a notecard to be hung in my kitchen, but the card never made it there. Instead I’ve carried it with me. Each and every day since I’ve encountered someone who needed to hear it. I pray it will encourage each of you as well.
O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
but give me powers equal to my tasks,
for I want to be stretched by things too great for me.
I want to grow through the greatness of my task,
but I shall need your help for the growing.
~E. Stanley Jones
2 comments March 20, 2009
A Rat-patootie Birthday
After pride comes the fall – right? It did for me at Ellie’s birthday party, so I’ll offer it to you here in the same sequence.
We’ve never before invited friends to her birthday parties. (We’ve got a big family, a small house and consistently too much snow this time of year.) But this year my girl turned five. That’s a big deal! And so we did a full-blown kid party for the first time. (Please note “full-blown kid party” is a relative term in the Northeast. A post explaining this is forthcoming.) Ellie insisted on a Ratatouille theme. She doesn’t actually like the movie so much, but she loves to cook. I took some elements from the movie and then did a mini-cooking class with her and her friends. It really was a great party. My favorite two aspects: we got everything done within the alotted time frame without any crying or injuries (a huge success with ten 4- to 6-year-olds!) and … the cake.
Can you feel my smile? I’m so proud of this! Here it is:
I found an inspiration cake online and duplicated it the best I could. It’s a two layer yellow cake with chocolate fudge frosting. This was my first time doing a basketweave, so don’t look too closely at that part. I purchased the rat figurines, but molded the fruits, cheese and napkin from marshmallow fondant. Isn’t it cool? Even with the mistakes, I can’t fake humility on this one. This cake rocks! And I MADE IT! Moo hoo bwa ha ha ha ha!
(That’s my attempt at an evil world dominion-seeker’s laugh.)
Wanna see more angles? Of course you do! Here are the side and back.
And here’s my girl blowing out her candles.
And here’s my humbling moment.
Yup. That’s my birthday girl licking the rat’s ah—- “bummy”, as they call it in preschool. doesn’t she look happy? Then she generously handed out more rats so the whole party could join in in the licking of rats’ bummies.
I pointed out the offensive creatures for you, in case you missed them. And then there’s me, wondering why in the world we’re taking pictures of this.
They say “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
See more humbling photos and their stories in the ‘Fro Me to You Carnival at Marcy Writes (aka: The Glamorous Life Association).
23 comments March 19, 2009
A quick catch-up
Congratulations to James for winning the 100 Things drawing!! A free book is on its way to him. If you missed the giveaway, revisit this post, then stay tuned. I’ll have another giveaway sometime within the next few weeks.
In other news, if you would like to subscribe via email (get my new posts in your inbox instead of having to visit the site every day), you now can! Check out the sidebar under “Feeds.” Click on the “Subscribe to In the Dailies via email” link then enter your info.
Also in the sidebar, I’ve added a new poll! I posed a question earlier this week, but haven’t received much discussion. Now you can let your voice be heard anonymously. If you want to leave a more detailed answer, comment on the original post.
Now I’m off to enjoy this gorgeous day! Dare I say it? At long last, spring has finally arrived.
2 comments March 18, 2009
Mama Loves: Hidden Significance
First, Happy St. Pat’s to all of you! I tentatively greet today, hoping it passes with fewer theatrics than last year. I omitted the whole police debacle, but can read about my drunk nun neighbor in this post.
Second, welcome to Mama Loves! To learn more about this weekly exercise in positive blogging, visit this post.
Mama loves hidden significance. Well, it’s not hidden, but sometimes we miss it. Let me explain.
When you’ve been a christian for a long time, you can sometimes skim through your Scripture reading. I told Rick yesterday that I’ve been trying to read through the Gospels again (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), but I’m struggling to stay engaged. I’ve read them so many times in the seventeen years that I’ve been a believer that the stories seem stale. And yet Scripture is never stale! I’ve just convinced myself that I know the stories and have already gathered every tidbit of inspiration from them. The problem isn’t the passages I’m reading, but my attitude toward them.
Other times you focus so much on one aspect of a passage that you miss other crucial points. This is the hidden significance I mean. I love reading something I’ve read a hundred times (or more) and finding something new. This is what happened this morning while I read through the first chapter of Ephesians.
“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.” — Ephesians 1:4-5 (NAS)
Anyone who has ever engaged in apologetics reads this and immediately launches into a debate of predestination vs. free will. Verse 11 deepens the debate to the extent of God’s sovereignty over “everything in conformity” with His purposes. But a much greater truth lies in this passage. Yes, doctrines of predestination, free will and God’s sovereignty are importiant, but by focusing so heavily on these points, we miss something so cool: the why.
God chose us IN LOVE according to HIS pleasure and will so that we may be HOLY and BLAMELESS in His sight.
God draws us unto Himself not based on merit or value, but based on His great love for us. He does this not to prove His great power over us or His predestination, but to make us better, to make us blameless and holy in His sight. That is awesome! None of us is righteous. For Him to make us so in His sight – that all-seeing, perfectly perfect and righteous sight — that is a miracle greater than predestination. It’s a wonder deeper than free will. It’s the gospel, the greatest news the world has ever known.
2 comments March 17, 2009
Question for the Day
My last couple posts have been about prayer. Today’s is too.
Our pastor is doing a series on the Holy Spirit. Yesterday he spoke specifically about grieving the Holy Spirit, what that means and how we do it. Last week he talked about the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Anyway, all this has us thinking more about the Trinity. So here is the question for the day. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
When we pray, should we pray specifically to the distinct members of the Trinity, taking into consideration the different roles each plays? Does it matter if we say “Father” instead of “Holy Spirit” or “Jesus, the Son?” Or are the names interchangable in prayer? Paul tells us the Holy Spirit incedes for us, so do we just let Him serve as the operator directing our calls? Or do we need to be specific?
Okay, so that’s five questions, but it’s all the same topic. Go ahead. Discuss.
3 comments March 16, 2009
