Monthly Archives: February 2009
Blog Tour: Journey of a Strong-Willed Child
Throughout the past two years I’ve shared a lot on this blog about Zach’s temperament and our struggles in parenting him. Call him spirited, strong-willed, bull-headed, determined … whatever you want. They all mean the same thing. The kid knows what he wants and is never easily deterred.
I’ve struggled to explain our situation to people who haven’t experienced it. They have never known a child quite like him and they only see us and our son for snippets of time. Too often friends, family and strangers give me a “look” then freely pass judgment and advice. “He lacks discipline.” “You’re not spanking often or hard enough.” ”You’re neglecting his emotional needs; that’s why he acts this way.” None of these are true, but it’s nearly impossible to persuade someone of this once they’ve made up their minds. And trying only takes me away from the issues at hand (a.k.a. Zach).
Kendra Smiley’s newest book offers a perfect solution. I may stock up just so I can distribute them to these unbelieving persons. “You know, maybe you can help! Read this book, then get back to me.”
Journey of a Strong-Willed Child is not an exhaustive study of temperaments and strong-willed children or how to parent them. Rather, it’s more of an introduction, an affirmation that we’re not alone and, yes, some kids are more difficult to parent than others. I think it’s a fabulous tool for getting others “on board.” At just 130 pages, the book can be read in an afternoon. (Okay, not a regular afternoon with kids, but maybe a Sunday afternoon when the kids are watching sports with Daddy.) Conversational in nature, the text offers excellent, but simple explanations of what Read the rest of this entry
S.W.A.K. Challenge
Kristen from We Are THAT Family started a challenge a while back. Participants were to kiss their hubbies — really kiss them, no simple little pecks — at least once a day for a month and then post about it during the S.W.A.K. Carnival this week.
I didn’t participate.
Well, I kinda did, but I didn’t truly commit to it. I don’t handle pressure well! And – well, I don’t really have a good excuse. I did give my man a couple passionate greetings and those … went very well. (Can you see my grin?) But I wasn’t fully faithful to the challenge.
I did not intend to write any of this when I started this post!
This morning in my Mama Loves post I mentioned how I really hate husband bashing. (For the record, I also hate wife bashing. Just wanted to clarify that for the strong, silent males who read this blog.) Spouses need to uphold Read the rest of this entry
Mama Loves: my husband
When I started Mama Loves a couple months ago, the initial focus (for me) was on positive aspects of parenting. It’s so easy to get lost in the exhaustion and frustration of parenting that moms sometimes forget or maybe just overlook all the good stuff. But wives often do the same about marriage. I love women’s groups, moms groups, girlfriends, all kinds of female bonding, but, if given enough time, these groups almost always turn into bickering sessions. Each woman there wants to out-do the rest with her sob story of how fat she is, how difficult her life is or how her husband is worse than everyone else’s. We claim we’re just “sharing” and that it’s all in good fun, but I hate it. Today I want to focus on marriage and how wonderful my husband is. No, this is not in honor of that Hallmark holiday later this week, the one we never celebrate in this house. It just happens that this week God reminded me how good I have it in the marriage arena.
This mama loves her man!
As you know my new laptop, Tamar, arrived last week. The night we ordered her (a couple weeks previous) Rick came home from work and told me how Read the rest of this entry
Upcoming events
This is just a reminder: tomorrow is Mama Loves! If you’ve got something positive to share, blog about it tomorrow and link up here. My post will be up before 1am along with Mister Linky. Visit THIS POST for full details on this blog challenge.
ALSO, I’ve decided to start the Recipe Swap Sundays this week! If you feel like participating, let me know. I can either use Mister Linky to connect with your blogs, or you can just email me and I’ll provide a list of the week’s participants and recipes at the bottom of my post.
Sunday Morning Leftovers: More of You
Spaghettipie regularly offers Sunday Morning Leftovers. These posts, usually done on Monday mornings, reiterate something from Sunday’s worship that stuck around for further meditation. Sometimes just one phrase the pastor says or one verse read can linger in your consciousness refusing to be neglected. You let it percolate until another, newer morsel of God’s truth demands attention. This is my bit for this week.
“It’s never a matter of getting more of the Spirit; it’s about giving more of ourselves to Him.”
I’ll never understand God, at least not this side of eternity. As hard as I try and as much as I study, He is and always will be a wonderous mystery to me. This week our pastor spoke about the Holy Spirit. He said this (what I quoted above) while talking about how the Holy Spirit dwells in believers. He lives in us, so we can’t get away from Him. But how much reign do we allow Him? Does He have access Read the rest of this entry
The House That Grandpa Built
A bar-b-que grill for more than one.
The slate patio looks like fun!
She’s here! She’s here!!
My new laptop arrived today. I’m so excited!! She’s red and beautiful and so shiny and hasn’t had a single drop of juice spilled on her yet. *sigh* I’m so excited. Oh, and since she’s part of Dell’s (PRODUCT)red participation, she’s even helping Africans with AIDS. How cool is that?
I know within a week or so all that will change. Well, hopefully she’ll still be red, but the dust will start to gather and little fingerprints will likely mar her now reflective screen. And that’s okay. I don’t mind, and I know I won’t mind then when it happens. Mothers perpetually sacrifice and I’m really totally good with that! Today, anyway. Tomorrow might find me in a different, much more stressed mood, but today shines on me as I want to be. I’m perfectly content. I’ve been patient and happy. I’ve maintained a proper perspective all day. I haven’t lost my temper even once! I’ve been flexible and … well, and now I have a new laptop, so life is pretty good.
Just wanted to stop by to say “hey!” to all you bloggy-friends in the great abyss of space and time. I’m off to finish setting up my new friend. I’ve not decided yet what to name her. It feels a betrayal to name her Ruthie so soon after the death of the first. Also, Ruthie may be hanging around for a while. Rick is hoping he can swap out some parts toward another resurrection. We’ll see what my brilliant man can do. I have no doubt he’ll make her live again. He’s amazing.
All right. I’m off. Happy Wednesday to you all!
Mama Loves: Games
After a very long, restless night, I need some positive reinforcements. Mama Loves is my weekly exercise in perspective. The good always outweighs the bad. After a night full of trips upstairs for bad dreams, drinks of water, talking in their sleep and then a wet bed, I’m happy to focus on the better aspects of parenting, to remember why I love being a mama. I’d love to hear your positive side of things, too! If you want to participate, just link up at the bottom. Grab full details and a button HERE. For a perfect example, read Heidi’s post. Every time I visit her blog I am encouraged and challenged! This time she offers very clearly a Godly perspective on a really crappy experience.
As for me, my Mama Loves is about playing games.
Within the past six months or so the kids have reached the stage where they can play games for real. We’ve tried before, but with my obsessive compulsive, control freakish tendencies — remember the Christmas decorations? and the cookies? — well, attempting to play board games or card games drove me crazy, and their imaginative ”games” never made any sense to me (kind of like their jokes, but lasting much, much longer). However, we’ve reached a developmental milestone, and I’m loving it! Being three and a half and almost five, they’ve developed imaginations advanced enough to create their own games and include me in them. They know how to follow rules and understand the value in that, thereby creating their own rules (that make sense) and enforcing them. It’s so much fun! Not just the games, but all the little quirks and conversations that come with it. These kids are SO funny!
The favorite games around here are definitely Uno and Candy Land. As an aside, let me make a plug for Uno here. This game is PERFECT for young kids! It encourages color recognition, number recognition, matching and rules of exception. Our kids love it, especially the “tricky cards” like Skip and Draw Two. Let’s see, other games we play include Go Fish, Chutes & Ladders, Checkers and Memory. Ellie is also extremely interested in Chess for some reason. Probably the whole royal feel of it strikes a resonant chord with my princess.
Once while we were playing Candy Land, my piece caught up with Rick’s piece. With our two little plastic gingerbread people on the same spot, I couldn’t resist: I made my little person kiss his little person. Now, every single time anyone’s piece catch up to another, Ellie yells out: “You gotta kiss ‘em!” I didn’t realize I was setting such a strong precident. Zach, though, prefers to “good-five” the other players. Apparently, he’s just not as affectionate as I am. (By the way, this Candy Land photo was taken by BlueSleepy. Also, for future reference, when googling for “candy land” be aware you’ll face some not-so-sweet links. Wow.)
I mentioned imagination games. In addition to Mousy and Dennis, their shared imaginary friends — Have I told you about Mousy and Dennis? I’ll have to do that one of these days. Anyway, in addition to Mousy and Dennis, the kids have created a game called “Bad Guys.” In it we all pretend to be bad guys who have to capture the “good people” and lock them in cages. Last week we raided a hospital and stole all the babies before wrapping “the good people” in blankets and tickling them silly. I try not to get too analytical about why my children want to take innocents captive; I just like that they’ve deemed me their leader: Bad Guy Number 1. Zach is Number 2 and Ellie is Number 3. Those are our names. It’s consistent, which I find amusing. It feels slightly reflective of Austin Powers or another such terrible spy movie, but it’s fun.
So that’s my delight for the week: playing games with my kids. I love it.
Your turn! What positive aspect of life overshadows the negative?
Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks: January 09
Blame it on Ruthie dying or me switching websites, but I can’t find a complete list of kid quotes for January. Here is an abridged version including some additions to our family dictionary.
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Ellie: (sung to the tune of “Deep and Wide”) Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth every day. If you don’t, you won’t die but you’ll have to go to the dentist!”
Zach: (This was after being told to put away the toys in his room.) “Um, Mom? I’m Zach. Did you forget? I’m not a cleaning boy; I’m Zach.”
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Dictionary Additions:
Postibull: This can mean either “possible” or “hospital” depending on the context. For example, “Mama, I don’t think it’s postibull for us to go to the postibull today.”
Good Five: High-five, often encouraged after someone has completed a job successfully. “Mama, I put away my toys. Come give me a good five!”
Bungled: This means a connection or the past tense act of connecting, usually in reference to trains (Thomas and Friends). For example, “Thomas and James bungled up to the troublesome trucks.”
Boing off: A verb, this phrase means to jump. “Mama, I want to boing off myself.” In other words, don’t help me jump. It can also be followed by a direct object, like this: “Ellie, let’s go boing off the couch. Shhh … don’t tell Mommy!”
