100 Things About Me

How many of you are onfacebook? The “25 Things Meme” has taken over enough to catch the attention of Time Magazine. Several friends tagged me, but for some reason (I can’t remember why), I refused to do it until a certain number of people tagged me. I promised if that many people tagged me, I would not only write 25 random things about myself, I would write 100 and post them on my blog. Now, I gotta tell you: this was more difficult than I expected! I’ve had this blog for more than two years, so coming up with 100 things I haven’t already talked about was definitely a challenge. But 30 people tagged me, so here it is. The List.

100 Things About Me

1. I love old men, not in a sick, twisted sort of way, but in an endearing “aren’t they cute and funny” kind of way. I find them absolutely hysterical. I could watch the movie IQ over and over just to laugh at old Albert and his friends. I can’t wait for us to get old so I can laugh at Rick. Never mind. He already makes me laugh!
2. I have many secret ambitions: to be a chef; to act in just one movie; to author a book or two; to design wedding gowns; to be a photojournalist; to travel the world; to be a prettier, nicer Martha Stewart …
3. I completely forget all my secret ambitions when faced with a single opportunity to share God with someone else.
4. My right pinky finger is massively crooked. It got slammed in a truck door when I was five, but because I could still bend it, my dad believed it wasn’t really broken and I didn’t need the hospital.
5. I’m obsessively careful not to slam my kids’ fingers in doors.
6. I’m also a little bitter that I could never be a hand model or an Allstate insurance salesman. They have to have good hands.
7. As a kid I would jump out of trees in an attempt to break one or both of my legs. I thought crutches were cool.
8. Other than my pinky finger (see #4), I’ve never broken a bone.
9. I went to the orthodontist regularly for 9 years, from age 7 to 16. I did not think that was cool.
10. My teeth are still crooked.
11. I have over 50 spices and spice blends in my kitchen and I use them all (not all at the same time).
12. I had two goals in college: (1) fulfill the purpose God has for my life and (2) never become domestic. I had no idea completing one would mean the impossibility of the other.
13. Getting married and having kids was my Plan B.
14. Being a martyr for Christ was Plan A.
15. When Rick and I met I told him about my Plan A. He didn’t know what to say. He still doesn’t. I think I scared him. Somehow we still got married.
16. Many people (family included) describe me and Rick as Dharma and Greg. Anybody remember that show? It’s a pretty accurate description minus the politics and New Age stuff.
17. I can’t stand white noise — such as a ceiling fan, the hum of our Tivo box, static, elevator music.
18. I have been known to sleep/nap on subways, at baseball games, through WW2 movies (and James Bond movies) and gang fights in front of our house (while we lived in the ghetto), with children jumping on top of me and (don’t hate me for this) through labor, but I cannot sleep with white noise.
19. Everyone I have ever lived with insists on having white noise to sleep.
20. Let me back up. You didn’t not misread that. My first time pregnancy ended in labor that lasted only 6 hours (from first contraction to birth) and I slept through most of it. I had no drugs and no stitches. Please don’t hate me.
21. Don’t believe anyone when they say subsequent births are easier or quicker than the first! It’s just not always true. I’ll save you the details of Zach’s birth.
22. Part of the movie 12 Monkeyswas filmed at my el-stop in Philadelphia. I was in high school at the time. I think I saw Bruce Willis.
23. I’m terrified of drowning, even in the shower.
24. Every time I cross the Tappan Zee Bridge (for non-NJ/NY/CT-ers, this is a very long, low bridge), I mentally strategize how to save myself and my two children were our van to go careening over the side into the Hudson River. *
25. I really like Mythbusters and Man vs. Wild. Watching these shows makes me feel more equipped for surviving said fear.
26. Certain movies, no matter how many times I see them, always make me sob: The Family Man, Castaway, Return to Me, and 50 First Dates.
27. Nothing scares me more than making an irrevocable decision the wrong way and then having to live with regret for the rest of my life.
28. My very best friends have always been in my family: my mom, my granny, my brother, my husband.
29. I’m kind of suspicious of people who want to be my friend. I’m not sure why.
30. I often feel like an outsider, even when surrounded by friends.
31. One of my favorite words is bioluminescence. I really wish life provided more opportunities to use this in everyday speech.
32. The “real world” seems an awful lot like high school. I often feel like I’m still waiting for my life to begin.
33. I have visited 9 countries other than the USA (Canada, St. Lucia, Grenada, France, Switzerland, Germany, Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia and USA), and almost every state east of the Mississippi River but nothing west of it.
34. I have lived (possessed a mailing address) in five states and three countries.
35. I love Evian water, and it’s not just because I’ve tasted it directly from the spring in Evian, France.
36. I’m allergic to fluoride.
37. I moved to French-speaking Switzerland armed with only two French phrases: “Je suis fatiguee de cherche un homme” and “Ou est la salle de bain.” Translation: “I’m tired of looking for a man.” and ”Where can I take a bath?”
38. I learned these phrases from my roommate whose mother was a French teacher. They used to be missionaries in Africa.
39. I didn’t know what those phrases meant, but trusted my dear friend. I got some pretty funny looks from the locals. (Thank you, Karen!)
40. I think she was hoping I would come home and marry someone other than Rick.
41. I have served as an interpreter for American Sign Language. I also taught ASL at camp and in courses for infants and their moms.
42. I studied Spanish for 4 years in high school, but still can barely hold a conversation.
43. Our next door neighbors are from Columbia. Three of the five family members don’t speak English.
44. I studied Hebrew in college, but quickly learned it’s not a great idea for people with dyslexia (me) to study a “reverse” language (like Hebrew).
45. The better I did in Hebrew, the worse I did in all my other classes (where I needed to read English). I decided to drop Hebrew and, unfortunately, don’t remember much of it.
46. There are 14 Jewish temples and synagogues and only 1 Catholic church and 2 Protestant churches in the town where we live. I regularly contemplate revisiting my Hebrew Primer.
47. 2009 marks my 8th year as a demonstrator for Stampin’ Up! Recently I decided to quit doing parties and scrapbooking classes in favor of spending more time writing and doing my “own” crafty stuff. If you like paper crafts, check out Kim’s site. She’s fantastic and can totally hook you up!
48. I want to be healthier, but struggle to get over the hurdles of Convenience and Laziness.
49. I love red meat way too much and firmly believe butter (real butter) makes just about every recipe better.
50. No matter how many people tell me how gross it is, I will never stop eating lobster. It’s … oh, we need a new word to describe how wonderful it tastes!
51. I had never eaten shellfish until I moved to the east coast.
52. I have lived on the east coast for 15 years, but still (apparently) have a midwestern accent.
53. When I visit the midwest, they all tell me how “New York” I sound.
54. I want to be greener, but struggle with the niggling feeling that all I could do is too small to make a difference anyway.
55. I collect eco-friendly shopping bags, but almost always forget to bring them with me.
56. I could put both feet behind my head at the same time until well after I was married.
57. My first memory is on my family’s 140-acre farm in Indiana. I was five, I think, and my dad was teaching me to ride my very own horse whom I had affectionately named Princess. Nobody liked the name I picked. I think Princess may have been a boy.
58. If all my childhood had happened at the same time, I could claim (in addition to my mother and father) 2 brothers, 1 sister, 1 half-brother, 3 step-brothers, 1 step-sister, 2 step-mothers and 19 foster siblings.
59. My father quit speaking to me a month before I married Rick. It’s been over ten years.
60. My grandmother (my dad’s mom) is dying and I don’t know what to do about it. **
61. I didn’t expect it to be this difficult to make a list of 100 things about me!
62. I cannot clap and sing at the same time.
63. I was a dance captain in middle and high school.
64. My bold personality seems to offend people much more than I realize.
65. I spend far too much time thinking about what people think about me.
66. My wedding ceremony included a blizzard, a lost contact (mine), a fire (my veil), illness (pneumonia), and a snowplow (our getaway vehicle).
67. We spent our honeymoon at the Fort Wayne International Airport hotel.
68. I am convinced one episode of Dharma & Greg was based on our wedding story! Six degrees of separation, people. Somebody who was there knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who worked on that show. Or something like that. How else can you explain a sitcom placed in San Diego doing a holiday show in the Fort Wayne airport with a wedding, a blizzard, and a couple just like us? (See # 12) Yup. I’m taking credit for that.
69. I had the nickname “Purp” for two years in college. This resulted from a failed hair dye attempt. I wanted to look like Courtney Cox and came out … well … purple.
70. I’m great at maintaining eye contact while others are speaking. When I am talking, however, I tend to look at the walls or ceiling. I don’t know why.
71. If I know about a surprise before I’m supposed to, I too frequently overact my part.
72. I’m a little bit of a pyromaniac.
73. As a kid I was convinced that if I held my tongue just so I could make people believe I had three lips. No one thought that. They only asked why I had my tongue sticking out.
74. If we have any more kids, I want to adopt them.
75. I can’t wait to get to Heaven!
76. I’m still learning that the Christian life is not about doing (or not doing), but about being.
77. I am absolutely entranced by the Old Testament and really don’t understand why so many Christians ignore it.
78. I’d love to write a book about women of the Bible, specifically those in the geneology of Jesus Christ.
79. Someday I’ll explain why I named my laptop after a woman who pretended to be a prostitute in order to seduce her father-in-law.
80. I am convinced I have the best mother-in-law in the world.
81. I didn’t always believe that, but now I know it.
82. I think this is the longest post I’ve ever written.
83. Rick gave me a guitar for my birthday! I’ve wanted to learn to play guitar for a very long time and now know about 10 chords, 3 songs and some random picking patterns.
84. When Ellie and Zach have kids, I hope they’ll call me Big Mama.
85. I’m running a secret contest, and if you mention my favorite word (it’s in this list) in the comments, I’ll enter your name in the drawing.
86. I’m very strict about what my kids can watch on TV, but what I let them watch, they watch a lot.
87. We don’t allow commercials in our house.
88. I love Jesus, but I drink a little.  (This links to a very funny clip from The Ellen Degeneres Show.)
89. I don’t understand why drinking is so taboo in America. I’m not saying we should all slosh from bar to bar, just that a glass of wine once in a while will not send me to Hell.
90. I think Ellen Degeneres is hysterically funny. She is the only stand up comedian I would pay to see.
91. I’m running out of things to say.
92. My mom is coming this week, and I can’t wait to see her!
93. I really wish my family lived closer.
94. In a few years I want us to go do a Holy Lands tour with the kids.
95. In college, I almost did a semester in Israel, but decided to take a semester off to work in war-torn Bosnia instead.
96. As much as I want to go to Israel, I think we’ll probably take the kids to Disney World first.
97. I want to retire on the water. Not necessarily on a sandy beach, but somewhere where I can see and hear the ocean when I wake up.
98. I would love to take sailing lessons someday.
99. I can understand a lot of different sins; I can see how people get caught up in pornography, homosexuality, violence, lying, gossip … but I cannot understand sinful acts against children.
100. I have a much bigger problem with people who exploit and abuse children than with people who have abortions.

* Since starting this list last week, I returned to the Tappan Zee to find new, higher guard rails! Well, on the east-bound side anyway. I was so excited. My mind could rest easy as long as we never drove west.

** Grandma died last night. I still don’t know what to do about it.