Daily Archives: January 2, 2009

Ten years later and I’m still amazed he chose me. In awe, I collect all the tiny details God orchestrated to bring us together. This is, as Plumb sings, a real life fairy tale.

Now for those of you rolling your eyes or sighing with hope, let me startle you out of it. Life is difficult, and marriage is no exception. Being married is not better than being single; it’s just different. It’s a choice. A daily choice.

Rick and I don’t value anniversaries too much. His parents are forcing us to go out tonight, which is great, but if they hadn’t initiated the babysitting, we would probably stay home and watch Arrested Development then fall asleep early. Anniversaries aren’t a big deal to us because every day together is a choice we are priviledged to make. Every day is special; every day is an anniversary.

So here is my advice for you. Remember that the wedding is just one day. It’s not meant to be the best day of your life, simply the beginning of all your best days. My wedding contained a blizzard (that prevented the caterer, the trumpet player and half our guests from making it), a fire (in my veil), a lost contact (close-up pictures show me with one green eye and one blue), a getaway vehicle that looked strangely like a snowplow and a honeymoon spent at the airport hotel. No one will ever forget our wedding, but it’s not because it was perfect. It was far from a fairy tale wedding! But I loved it. I was (and still am) able to focus on the bigger picture: the marriage, not the wedding. That day was just the frosting, just the bonus of choosing to spend the rest of my life with this man.

Finally, in remembering that the wedding is just one day, work hard on your relationship the rest of the days. Don’t get lazy in your marriage. Communicate. Keep your spouse’s interest. Remind that person why you chose him (or her, if you’re one of the few men who read this blog). Pray for your spouse and your marriage. Thank God every day that you get to wake up next to that person.

Sure, the wedding is important and anniversaries are significant, but they’re nothing compared to the promises made. The marriage, the keeping of those promises, is infinitely more important than the date or the party that kicked it off.

“For wherever you go, I will go.
Wherever you live, I will live.
Your people will become my people,
and your God will become my God.
Wherever you die, I will die – and there I will be buried.
May the Lord punish me severely if I do not keep my promise!
Only death will be able to separate me from you!”
Ruth 1:16-17 (NET)