Monthly Archives: December 2008
Relinquishing Control … or at least some of it.
Not long after I married Rick, one of his relatives … (don’t ask which one, ’cause honestly I don’t remember — I know y’all are reading this!) … someone told me I was a control freak. Well, she probably didn’t say it like that; I’m not sure the f-word is acceptable vocabulary, but she did say something to that effect, something like “this must be difficult for you since you need to be in control of everything.”
At the time I was quite offended. Let me cringe while I admit I probably vented to a few people about the vast untruths of her assessment. However, I have learned over the past ten years that, while I may not be a certifiable control freak, I definitely struggle to relinquish control in certain areas.
With some things, I really couldn’t care less how things are done. For example, vacations. I’m totally a go-with-the-flow kinda girl. Potluck dinners. Just tell me what to bring and you can decorate the church with nude hula girls if you want. I don’t care. (I might ask to Sharpie over their coconuts, but other than that, it’s your party.) Even my own wedding I didn’t care too much about. I let other people pick the bridesmaid dresses, the photographer, the food, the invitations and the decorations. I picked the man, the cake and my dress. That was about it.
I am not so free and flexible when it comes to two big things: art supplies and Christmas decorations. (I know my wedding should be “bigger” than “art supplies”, but for some reason … I don’t know.) I’ll explain the art supplies some other time, how I shrink at the very thought of playdough and bite my tongue (hard!) everytime my kids jam a paintbrush into their paper thereby breaking all those precious bristles. *Deep cleansing breath.* For now, let me share about Christmas.
The kids wanted to help. And I wanted them to help! I want my kids to be involved and I want to enjoy having them involved. A friend recently emailed me about how she loves the way I engage my kids. I laughed because I knew this post was forthcoming. I do engage my kids! But it is sometimes with great personal restraint. Sometimes I go behind them and “fix” their creative endeavors. Sometimes I just take a deep breath and remind myself they’re kids who are learning and growing at astronomical rates and one day I’ll miss all these “imperfect” moments desperately.
I give you Exhibit A: The Wreath. Can you guess which one is Ellie’s and which one is mine?
Actually, it’s the same wreath. These are before and after pictures. Yup. Her creative expression lasted about five minutes before I “fixed” it to better reflect what I wanted.
Or how about these trees? Exhibit B: The Topiaries. They shank our front door. These are not before and after pictures; you’re actually at two separate trees.
I left Ellie’s (the one on the right) like this for two whole days. That was as long as I could go before “fixing” it.
Finally, I give you Exhibit C: The Tree. As you may have guessed from the previous evidence, I like my decorations orderly and spaced. They don’t need to be perfect or symmetrical, but the negative space is very important to me. This is my part of our tree.
And this is the part the kids decorated. I took this picture before we added the candy canes, so just imagine a whole mess of those on here too. One poor branch is holding three ornaments and two candy canes.
Did you catch that? “One branch IS holding …” Present tense! Yessiree, I’m making progress! The tree is still as it was the day the kids helped decorate it. Almost a full week later and I have not rearranged a single thing. Aren’t you proud of me?
Now, all you math geniuses: If my tree is six feet tall, how tall are my children?
Mama Loves: Attitudes of Gratitude
One of my very favorite parts of kids is what they teach me. God tells us to come to Him with a child-like faith. Without being around children, it’s difficult to fully grasp what that entails. I’m not saying you need to be a parent to understand, just that observing children (as a teacher, an aunt, a parent, a friend) adds dimension. It puts flesh on an otherwise abstract concept.
This week Mama loves attitudes of gratitude.
Please note: this is a seasonal mama loves. It’s not always present in this house, but when it is, it blows me away. For example, last night after baths, Zach thanked me for combing his hair. Kids (usually) take very little for granted! Ellie has been thrilled with all the hub-bub that goes with Christmas. She turns off all the lights to admire the twinkling tree. With a big sigh she thanks me and Daddy and Jesus for giving her Christmas. We may have to work on her doctrine a little bit, but I love her sheer joy at these little things most take for granted. And she’s always the first to give an enthusiastic “thank you.”
About a month ago I took the kids to McDonald’s for lunch. Because of Zach’s food allergies (which he outgrew over the summer PRAISE GOD!!) and other reasons (like lingering trauma from watching Supersize Me), we very rarely eat there. Ellie was estatic! She’d never seen anything quite like it. Immediately after finding some seats during the busy lunch rush, she hugged my neck and yelled out: “Thank you, Mommy!! Thank you for bringing us here! I LOVE it!” I’m sure you can imagine the funny looks I got from the other patrons. I mean, what American mother deprives her children of Ronald McDonald and French fries?? What kind of sheltered life am I giving them? But my heart melted. Simple things receive grand showers of thanksgiving.
What about you and me? What can we be grateful for today? How can we foster attitudes of gratitude?
For more info on Mama Loves, visit this post. If you want to participate, be sure to sign up with Mister Linky here.
Proximity Award
My friend Lynn gave me a blog award! It’s my first ever, and it’s a great one. I am truly honored and humbled. If you’ve not been to Lynn’s site, Heading Home, you should take a few minutes to visit. She’s such a positive, encouraging writer. I love visiting her there and diving into her thoughts. If anyone is worthy of this award, it is she. However, since I can’t give it back to her, I’ll name a few people of my own whom I think deserving.
What is the proximity award? Well, in spite of the all-Spanish speaking birthday party I attended with Ellie last weekend (which is worthy of its own blog post), I’ve little confidence in translating. It was explained to me this way:
“This blog invests and believes in PROXIMITY – nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”
Each of the following embody this perfectly. In no particular order …
- Kellie at La Vida Dolce : Kellie is fabulous! I’ve never actually met her … now that I think about it, I’ve not met any of these people in person, but each has impacted me and my faith in unique ways. Kellie challenges me to be intentional with my faith and actions. Her Tru-isms Campaign over the summer forced me to disect my motivations and embrace what it really true. Even her seemingly mundane posts encourage authenticity and an everyday Christian life.
- Heidi at Moms, Ministry and More : I’ve only been following Heidi for a few months and already she’s made a strong impression. She does what I love best: she finds God in the details. Whether it’s a gathering of koi or the words of children, she recognizes God in these dailies.
- Kristen at We Are That Family : You may recognize this from the ‘Fro Me to You Carnival I frequent on Thursdays. Kristen has taught me to embrace my imperfections and those of my family. Not to elevate them or take pride in them, but just to admit them and accept them — then praise God for His amazing grace and mercy which consistently and perfectly make up for my shortcomings! I also love how, no matter how random or comical her posts, she always includes scripture at the bottom.
- Monica at Paper Bridges : Monica is all about community. She draws people closer to God and each other, be it through challenging political posts, mothering posts, homeschooling posts or just funny things that happened. She’s on NJ Mom Bloggers, Facebook, Twitter and a dozen other great community builders. She encourages me (and her other readers) to keep relationships first, with God and the others in your life.
- Beverly at The High Calling : Beverly is the perfect mother. Seriously. I wish I were more like her. She is an excellent steward of time, faith, energies and resources. She exemplifies sacrificial love and patience. Have you heard of the excellent wife? The beautiful quiet spirit? Beverly puts flesh on these oft elusive aspirations.
- Heather at L’Chaim : I’ve sent you to Heather’s site a number of times. She writes about the intersection of faith, life and art. Her site consistently challenges me to find God in the “secular” parts of life: movies, artwork, literature and more.
I know I’m supposed to list eight blogs, but Lynn had more than eight deserving blog-friends, so it kind of evens out. I’d also like to highlight Deb at Greatest Mission Trip You’ll Ever Take. She has already received and given the award, so I don’t think I’m allowed to give it to her again just yet. Actually, including Lynn and Deb, I am listing eight blogs!
I hope you’ll give each a visit. I’m positive you’ll find value in each.
More gifts for the "hard-to-shop-for" people
On Monday I talked about World Vision and how I would love to get a goat for Christmas. Today I want to mention a few more gift ideas for those people who seem to have everything or want nothing.
First, my friend Erica has a great list of sites on her blog. There are a number of gifts there, from handbags to jewelry, t-shirts and more. All of the links she provides and the organizations they represent benefit various causes: poverty, orphans, widows, slaves around the world and exploited girls. Her list is definitely worth a few minutes of your time. Here’s a link.
OneVerse: Last year I highlighted this program. It’s so cool! Today, nearly 200 million people representing over 2200 language groups are still waiting to hear God’s message of hope in a language that they can understand best. Can you imagine not having a single verse of God’s Word in your own language? For just $26 you can make a difference, one verse at a time. OneVerse is part of The Seed Company which is a sister organization of Wycliffe.
Samaritan’s Purse: You’re probably familiar with Samaritan’s Purse. They have a number of wonderful programs including Operation Christmas Child. They’re gift catalog includes blankets, food, livestock, fresh wells, education and sports gear, just like World Vision. But Samaritan’s Purse also offers you the opportunity to be involved in providing aid in crisis areas hit by natural disasters, providing a flight for a child who desperately needs a medical procedure, or helping young doctors get to the mission fields. Here is a link to their gift catalog.
Why my husband is SO excited
This post is brought to you by ‘Fro Me to You, the weekly carnival of photos that will never see the inside of a fancy-schmancy scrapbook. Or any other scrapbook in my lifetime. For more fun pics and the stories that accompany them, visit We Are That Family. You gotta go today because Kristin has a beautiful story about her first Christmas with her husband. It’s great.
Why is my husband so excited? My hair is growing. I know, I know! He said he loved the short hair after I got my long locks chopped, but it turns out that was code for “Baby, you’re so gorgeous and sexy; you could do anything to your hair and still look good to me.” He then clarified that he really does NOT like change and he really DOES prefer long hair. Hence, I’m not maintaining the look from my not-so-impulsive makeover.
It’s been almost two months since the big cut, and already I can do fun things like this.
It’s difficult to get a picture of the back of your head, especially when sporting an itty-bitty Pebble ponytail like this one.
And, on days I don’t plan to leave the house and really want it out of my face, I do this.
Much more attractive, I know. And why, if I wasn’t planning to leave the house, did I arm my 4-year-old with a camera?
The funny thing is that my husband thinks this is fantastic. Both the ponytail and the pigtails, he thinks they’re wonderful. I don’t get it. He doesn’t like short hair, but he loves it when I pull my hair back. What’s the point of having long hair if you always put it up? I don’t see a big difference, but I’m told there is one. And I know a happy husband is infinitely more valuable than a short, sassy ‘do.
While I’m definitely letting it grow, I may get the bangs cut again. I loved what the stylist did with them. And maybe I’ll play with some color too. *grin*
Wordless Wednesday: My Little Pirates
I can’t decide if Zach looks more like a rapper or a cancer patient. Either way, they make pretty ferocious pirates. Oh, and Ellie’s beard is pure chocolate. I know … I don’t do “wordless” well, but when have you ever known me to follow all the rules?
For more priceless photos check out 5 Minutes for Mom and their Wordless Wendesday Carnival.
Mama Loves: Battle of the Bands
All right, last week I felt a little lonely. C’mon, people! You can’t think of ANYTHING positive to blog about?? Not even on the week of Thanksgiving?! Hopefully this week we’ll have a few brave souls who aren’t afraid to publicize something they get excited about, something to shout praise for. Remember to link back here so I can read all about it. For full details on Mama Loves, CLICK HERE.
This week Mama loves … battle of the bands.
Remember back in college when we would all hit coffee houses every weekend to hear the newest rage and swoon over the lead singer? Or the drummer. That was great. Like nearly every other aspect of my life, battle of the bands morphed into something entirely new when I became a mother. Grunge bands and Friday midnight cappuccinos reside in my past. In their place I get two preschoolers singing/shouting to see whose song is best.
Sunday morning on the way to church Ellie belted out “This is the Day” while Zach performed a rather militant version of “What a Mighty God We Serve.” It was beautiful! I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I love how they love to sing praises. Granted, they hear worship songs a lot in this house, but they hear their fair share of Laurie Berkner, Toby Mac and Nina Simone, too. Ellie’s favorite lullaby is a song by The Beatles and, for the first six months of his life, Zach was rarely tantrum-free unless Lauryn Hill played in the background. And yet, in spite of the eclectic exposure they receive, their battles always feature songs of praise. That’s what I love. I don’t care how loud they are, how off-key or miserably lacking in rhythm (unfortunately, all these traits are inherited from me) — I love it. It’s the best sound to fill my house and car.
Your turn! What’s your favorite part of being a mom? Your favorite part of being alive? How can you practice Phil. 4:8-9 today?
Join me!!
This is a reminder: tomorrow is Tuesday and that means Mama Loves. Join me in putting a positive grin on blogging. There has to be something you can praise God for this week! Visit this post for full details.
All I want for Christmas is a goat.
And a cow. And maybe some chickens and a few farming tools.
We all have people on our lists who seem to have everything. And then there are those that, for whatever reason, are just plain difficult to shop for. Let me make some suggestions.
World Vision has this great program where you can be involved in helping communities throughout the world overcome poverty. These gifts help families overcome hunger in Africa, Asia, the Middle East, even the US. On their site, you’ll find a whole gift catalog where you can purchase a couple chickens for just $25, five ducks for $30 or a fishing kit for $40. But that’s neither the extent nor the intent.
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” – James 1:27 (NASB)
Sure, this is an easy way to take care of those hard-to-shop-for people, but it’s much more than that. This is a way to share the love of God with people who need to feel it. The world tells us Christmas is about getting gifts and making sure you receive exactly what you want to be comfortable and envied. God tells us a different story. Christmas is about being selfless. It’s about a mimghty God becoming helpless and impotent in the form of an infant, all with the purpose of saving us from ourselves. He came as an insignificant child that we might live richly in a relationship with our Him, our Creator. God gave His Son. What can you give this year?
Through World Vision you can buy a share of a fish pond that can feed up to 50 people throughout the year. Or you could purchase a share of a milk cow that can offer much needed nutrition to those who desperately need it. You could fund the drilling of a well, the education for orphans or medical care for AIDS-infected children. All this can be done in honor of someone on your list, someone who really doesn’t need a new tie or trinket to dust, someone who would be touched tremendously by your initiative to make a difference in their name. And for the name of Christ.
Take a minute to see how you can help by crossing someone off your list. Here’s a link to the catalog. There you’ll find a ton of great gifts along with statistics of how this opportunity can make a huge difference in peoples’ lives.
I mentioned AIDS earlier. If you didn’t know, today is World AIDS Day. World Vision has a lot on their site about this too. Click here to see that. The statistics are overwhelming. Think of Swaziland. Ten percent of the nation’s population is children orphaned by AIDS. Ten percent! That number grows every day. You may think there’s nothing you can do, but that’s not true.
Starbucks is partnering with (RED) this holiday season. They are donating five cents from every drink purchase to (RED) and the AIDS campaign. Granted, it’s only a few cents, but every bit helps. And I’m sure you can find a Starbucks somewhere near you, as well as an excuse to get there and buy … oh, I don’t know, four? seven drinks? That’s my daily allotment.
Happy December, everyone!
