Relinquishing Control … or at least some of it.

Not long after I married Rick, one of his relatives … (don’t ask which one, ’cause honestly I don’t remember — I know y’all are reading this!) … someone told me I was a control freak. Well, she probably didn’t say it like that; I’m not sure the f-word is acceptable vocabulary, but she did say something to that effect, something like “this must be difficult for you since you need to be in control of everything.”

At the time I was quite offended. Let me cringe while I admit I probably vented to a few people about the vast untruths of her assessment. However, I have learned over the past ten years that, while I may not be a certifiable control freak, I definitely struggle to relinquish control in certain areas.

With some things, I really couldn’t care less how things are done. For example, vacations. I’m totally a go-with-the-flow kinda girl. Potluck dinners. Just tell me what to bring and you can decorate the church with nude hula girls if you want. I don’t care. (I might ask to Sharpie over their coconuts, but other than that, it’s your party.) Even my own wedding I didn’t care too much about. I let other people pick the bridesmaid dresses, the photographer, the food, the invitations and the decorations. I picked the man, the cake and my dress. That was about it.

I am not so free and flexible when it comes to two big things: art supplies and Christmas decorations. (I know my wedding should be “bigger” than “art supplies”, but for some reason … I don’t know.) I’ll explain the art supplies some other time, how I shrink at the very thought of playdough and bite my tongue (hard!) everytime my kids jam a paintbrush into their paper thereby breaking all those precious bristles. *Deep cleansing breath.* For now, let me share about Christmas.

The kids wanted to help. And I wanted them to help! I want my kids to be involved and I want to enjoy having them involved. A friend recently emailed me about how she loves the way I engage my kids. I laughed because I knew this post was forthcoming. I do engage my kids! But it is sometimes with great personal restraint. Sometimes I go behind them and “fix” their creative endeavors. Sometimes I just take a deep breath and remind myself they’re kids who are learning and growing at astronomical rates and one day I’ll miss all these “imperfect” moments desperately.

I give you Exhibit A: The Wreath. Can you guess which one is Ellie’s and which one is mine?

Actually, it’s the same wreath. These are before and after pictures. Yup. Her creative expression lasted about five minutes before I “fixed” it to better reflect what I wanted.

Or how about these trees? Exhibit B: The Topiaries. They shank our front door. These are not before and after pictures; you’re actually at two separate trees.

I left Ellie’s (the one on the right) like this for two whole days. That was as long as I could go before “fixing” it.

Finally, I give you Exhibit C: The Tree. As you may have guessed from the previous evidence, I like my decorations orderly and spaced. They don’t need to be perfect or symmetrical, but the negative space is very important to me. This is my part of our tree.

And this is the part the kids decorated. I took this picture before we added the candy canes, so just imagine a whole mess of those on here too. One poor branch is holding three ornaments and two candy canes.

Did you catch that? “One branch IS holding …” Present tense! Yessiree, I’m making progress! The tree is still as it was the day the kids helped decorate it. Almost a full week later and I have not rearranged a single thing. Aren’t you proud of me?

Now, all you math geniuses: If my tree is six feet tall, how tall are my children?