Monthly Archives: July 2008

Last night Rick and I watched the All-Star game as long as we could keep our eyes open. We finally surrendered around 10pm. To some of you this is a pathetic bedtime, but after a full day of swimming and playing with the kids and Rick’s crazy day at work, this was actually pretty good for us. Anywho, I got less than an hour’s sleep before Zach woke me. Poor guy had lost all his blankets and was curled in the fetal position on his pillow trying to avoid cold blasts of air conditioning. He wasn’t totally awake, but he was crying. Tucked in and secure, he quickly fell back into a peaceful sleep. I was minutes behind him. Unfortunately, my slumber lasted only thirty minutes more. I leaped from my bed at the first blood-curdling scream to find Ellie at the top of the stairs. I must have taken four steps at at time. Through sobs and fever, she told me of a black figure who was watching her sleep. My first reaction, of course, was to pray, during which she vomited all over me and herself. After two changes of clothes and an hour of prodding and pleading with her to take some Tylenol, we finally crawled back into bed, Rick to ours and me and Ellie to hers.

Earlier that day I had talked with a friend about our boys and their sleep problems. Her son recently completed a couple sleep studies and was diagnosed with sleep apnea which led to a minor surgery. Since then he and she have slept beautifully. I shared how, with a handful of exceptions, I haven’t slept through the night in over three years. We concluded there must be something wrong with Zach because it’s not supposed to be like this.

But while I lay in bed last night, Ellie slowly stroking my arm to make sure I hadn’t left her, I thought of sacrifices. Sure, I haven’t slept in almost four years; I’m tired and, at that moment, smelled very much like vomit in spite of the clean clothes. I was in a small bed void of my husband and other favorite sleep props. I thought of all this and was still completely happy.

There is a story in 1 Chronicles 21 that seldom gets much attention. David went against God’s command by taking a census of his military. It may not sound like a big deal, but God knew that David was counting his men to make sure they could defeat their enemies. Rather than trusting in God, David was trusting in numbers. God corrected David’s focus by sending a plague on Israel. He also sent an angel to tell David how to make amends: he was to build an alter on Araunah’s threshing floor. When Araunah saw King David coming toward his property, he bowed low, his face to the ground. David told him God’s request and asked to buy the property. Araunah refused the money and even offered his own oxen for the sacrifices David must make. David insisted saying “I will not take what is yours or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing.”

What does this have to do with parenting? We think it’s not supposed to be like this. Life should be easier than it is, right? Who said that? And when we resign to the fact that this is the way life is — sleepless nights and far too much bodily excrement — then we tend to look at parenting as a job. Stay-at-home moms are especially guilty of this. We feel like our husbands are out working so hard and we’re not bringing in any money and so our kids are our jobs. We work to produce good kids, sweet, moral, intelligent and happy; clean homes, the kind that put Martha Stewart to shame; happy husbands, the envy of all their friends, and look like we’ve done it all without breaking a sweat. We’ve “professionalized motherhood” to the extent that we no longer see parenting as service. It’s our career. We see our kids as work and when things don’t go easily for us, we get frustrated and angry and try to find an easier path. Forget parenting, we do this with regular jobs too!

But what if we consider parenting as an offering to God? Will we give Him what has cost us nothing? And our jobs. Must we complain at every trial or can we consider our discomfort evidence of a sacrifice made to bring Him glory?

Let’s take the parallel back one step. David lost sight of what made his kingdom great. It wasn’t their numbers, their skills or even his excellent leadership abilities. It was the God they served. We cannot be great parents by anything that we do or any skills we possess. We can read all the books we want, but the wisdom gained will never be enough. Our families will never be great because of our appearances, our behavior, our skills or our efforts. Our families can only be great when we serve God wholeheartedly, without looking to the left or to the right. He is what makes us great.

What sacrifices have you made for which you can thank God today?