Offering Shade

One of my first posts on this blog was about our backyard. In it I lamented our lack of privacy and told of a slight haven I created by stealing the neighbor’s shade. I am proud to announce we now have our own shade! Isn’t it beautiful??

Too lovely little patches of shade. We planted the trees on Memorial Day. Well, Rick did most the work, but the kids and I had fun watching. Okay, I know they’re tiny trees and the shade they offer is slightly pathetic, but it makes all the difference. Maybe not to you, but to us the effect is amazing. To us, the backyard feels cozy and welcoming. It feels more like home. (Right now my friend Karen is laughing her tail off on her mini-farm of seven acres.)

Sometimes little things make a huge difference.

Last week Zach had a rough day which caused a rough day for all of us. For no apparent reason (I’m sure there was a reason, but I was never able to decifer it), the boy screamed for five hours. I’m not talking whiney crying or fussy grumpiness. I’m talking full blown at the top of his lungs screaming. For. Five. Hours. Straight.

Being outnumbered is tough. There’s only one of me, but there’s two of them, each with different needs needing to be met at the same time. Having two children so close together and yet so completely opposite is a challenge, to say the least. When one child has a rough day, it’s far too easy to take it out on the kid who is not having a rough day. Unfortunately, the kid being calm and collected often suffers the brunt of frustration caused by the one being wild and unruly. I know this and I try to prevent it, sometimes more successfully than others.

Last week when Zach was pulling on my last thread of sanity, I stopped. I took a deep breath, then I left him in a safe, but closed space and took Isabel outside. We sat on the edge of the driveway while I told her how much I loved her and how patient she was being that day. I thanked her for her good behavior. Her smile could have lit up the whole east coast! When I expressed how difficult it must be to have to share your mommy and put up with a noisy brother, she wrapped her arms around mine and nodded her head. The rest of the day, she was so very helpful. What a difference a little encouragement can make! Just that bit of gratitude and acknowledgement of her perspective gave her shade. It refreshed her (and me!) enough to make it through the rest of the day.

We are a people filled with pride. It’s easy to point to others and acknowledge their shortcomings, because after all we know how it should be, how it would be done if we were doing it ourselves. But how often do we point out the good things? How often do we appreciate the way other people handle themselves? Sadly, not enough. Just a little bit of thanks, a little bit of encouragement can make someone feel welcome. It may offer them the shady refreshment needed to make it through the rest of the day. It can make them feel like home, safe and secure. Rested.

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” – Psalm 16:24 (NIV)

Take the opportunity today to plant a tree in someone’s backyard. It may take just be a word or two. Maybe a smile or a hug. Offer someone the sweet haven of encouragement.