Monthly Archives: December 2007
New Year’s Resolutions
I’ve never been big on new year’s resolutions. A year seems like a very long time to test a goal. And why is January 1st the magical day that changes everything? It doesn’t make much sense. If you want to change a habit or set a new goal, why wait until the dead of winter to do it?
That said, I do have a few goals I’d like to share. I tend to be an over-achiever, so I’m trying to keep it simple this year. I hate failing, even if it’s my own standards, so I’m trying to only set goals I believe are realistic and tangible. Here goes.
- Book Review Tuesdays. I have a beautiful Bookshelf on this website, but haven’t been updating it regularly. This is going to change. I posted four new reviews today and hope to post at least one new review each Tuesday. I’ll continue posting at Christian Children’s Book Review, as well. I do 5-10 reviews there each month. (It’s much quicker and easier to review picture books than titles appealing to adults!)
- Maintain a meal plan. I always plan meals before grocery shopping, but I never set the dates for when we will eat what. What’s worse is I don’t keep a list of the recipes I’ve chosen. This results in wasted produce (I forget what is necessary for which meals and use it in something not planned.) and a lovely routine of “What do you feel like eating?” right around 6 o’clock every night. Not exactly wise stewardship of time, food or money. So, this resolution is to keep a calendar of meals, with recipes annotated.
I’ll know exactly what we’re eating each night and whether or not we have the ingredients required.A tangent of this goal includes make-ahead meals (Ala Once a Month Cooking and Don’t Panic — Dinner’s in the Freezer!). I’m not (completely) naive. I know life is never as expected, so I want to stock the freezer at least once a month with ready-to-heat meals for those nights when I won’t have time to cook. - Exercise three times a week. Yes, I know I should already be doing this, but doesn’t running up and down stairs 15 times a day count as exercise? Maybe. This goal refers to premeditated and deliberate exercise. I already do my crunches and such twice a week. (I was doing it every day until I realized that made me useless the next morning when my 30 pound child wanted to be carried everywhere.) So, three times a week is the goal.
- Complete at least 40 books by the end of the year. This year I read 30. I started probably 70, but only finished 30 of them. (ADD strikes again.) My list was pretty balanced; about 50/50 for nonfiction vs. fiction. If I only read fiction, I could knock out about two books a week, but with nonfiction, I have to process everything thoroughly before I can move on. This is why I am still reading Prayer by Philip Yancey. I started it last spring. The man is brilliant, forcing much prickly introspection. I hope to finish this title this year. I’ll not list other specific titles (see my previous post), but I do hope to again maintain an equal balance.
- Continue writing. I want to submit at least ten articles for publication in 2008. I also want to rework my book proposal and begin another one. Finally, I want to get an agent who can shop those proposals for me.
What are your goals for the new year?
A little housekeeping
Hey! A few quick housekeeping items for the site.
First, there will be no Ellie-isms or Zach Attacks posted for December. With a little girl in preschool and a boy at the beginning stages of potty training, all the funny quotes from this month relate to body parts. *grin* Didn’t think I should publish those. Invite me for coffee and you’ll hear all about it.
Secondly, I want to offer a little closure tn the reading challenge I did this fall. The deadline was Christmas Eve. Click HERE to see my original posts. I listed 8 books that I hoped to finish before the deadline and another 6 bonus titles. Quantitiatively, I did great! I completed 11 books and am a quiet afternoon away from finishing 3 more. Not bad – huh? The problem, though, is that only one of the books I completed is actually on the list. The good news: I discovered two new authors and am really looking forward to their next books, both being released in February. (Robin Caroll is actually new and James Scott Bell is just new to me. I’ve posted reviews of the two books I read over on the Bookshelf.) So, what have I learned? Reading goals are good, but my rebellious nature works responds better to a record than homework. In other words, challenge myself to reach a number of completed books and not a list of specific “have to read” books.
A belated "Merry Christmas!"
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I’ve enjoyed the holiday so much … having Rick home from work, family in from out of state … it’s been great! Getting on the computer has been the furthest thing from my mind. But now that I’m here, I had to give you a Christmas photo. I’ll do a regular post soon. In the meantime, here’s to a Happy New Year!!
Life’s choices
Have you watched your fill of holiday movies this season? Everyone has their favorites. Mine include The Sound of Music, though I’m still not sure why this is considered a Christmas movie — does it have anything to do with the holidays? Doesn’t it take place over the summer? National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is another classic. But my very favorite is The Family Man. If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend you do.
What I fear more than anything else is that I will reach the end of my life with a mountain of regrets. Everyone has something they wish they had done differently. I’m not really talking about the little things; I’m referring to life-changing decisions. I worry my bad decisions will outweigh the goods ones, so much so that my life’s triumphs will be unnoticed in the face of blaring defeat.
The Family Man looks at one decision and shows a man how different his life would be had he taken the other path. I wonder what my life would be if I had chosen differently. If I hadn’t married Rick … if we had no children … if we had moved to Boston insted of New York … if … if … if …
I think about me before these decisions. I was a hippy artist in high school and a globe-trotting humanitarian in college. I was assertive, confident, even cocky. I was involved in everything. I was an actress and a player. It seems a lifetime ago in someone else’s backyard. Have I left who I am behind? Is that who I am or is who I am now the real me? Have I made the right choices?
Everytime I start thinking this way, a song from church echos in the back of my mind. It slowly crescendos until its words are all I hear. “My Savior loves. My Savior lives. My Savior’s always there for me. My God He was. My God He is. My God He’s always gonna be!”
The same God I served in Bosnia and Switzerland and Indiana and Philadelphia is the same God I serve now. He is living and loving and always by my side.
In the movie, Tea Leoni’s character talks about these what if’s. She wonders what her life would be like if she hadn’t married her husband … “and then I realize I’ve just erased all the things in my life I’m sure about.” I love that line.
Life would definitely be different. But it doesn’t matter because the same God I served then I serve now and He is the one in control. He knows I need what I’m sure about. He knows our best purposes and will ensure we fulfill them.
Peace of the holidays
I received a Christmas card today. “May the peace of the holidays continue throughout the year!” I laughed. Peace of the holidays?! Who has peace during the holidays? I’m still laughing. Don’t get me wrong — Christmas is definitely my favorite time of the year, but it’s certainly not the most peaceful.
Let’s see … we baked about five dozen cookies last week. I’ve got at least another five dozen to bake before Wednesday. I’ve barely started my shopping, forget the wrapping. I’ve got four boxes to mail across the country and one six-hour road trip to make within the next few days. Isabel has her third (yes, THIRD) school pageant this week. My birthday is on Monday, my house is a disaster, I haven’t even started our Christmas cards and — oh, did I mention we started potty-training Zach? On top of all this, I’ve got stamping stuff going on. Have I told you I’m a demonstrator with Stampin’ Up? Well, I am. It’s less a business and more a means to support my scrapbooking addiction, but still … the new catalog comes out January 1st, so I’ve got retirement lists to distribute and customers to serve. Rick and I celebrate our anniversary on January 2nd, and Isabel goes back to school on January 3rd. There went the holiday season. Where was my peace?
“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” — John 16:33 (NAS, emphasis mine)
I like the way Petersen phrases it in The Message: “I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”
Peace, like joy, has nothing to do with our circumstances. They are untouched by what happens around us.
I once heard of an art competition whose goal was to define peace. Most entries depicted serene landscapes of beaches or happy grandparents on front porches. One work was quite different. It showed a terrible storm surrounding a lighthouse. The clouds weighed heavy and dark in the sky. The waves crashed, evidence of a menacing wind. How in the world was this peaceful? In the midst of terrifying weather, a small bird slept in her nest. This tiny creature trusted the lighthouse to protect her. She was fully at peace knowing the strength of her fortress.
As Petersen says, trusting in Jesus makes us unshakable and assured. Therein our peace is found.
Life never stops. It doesn’t settle. The stress of the holidays may end, but then something else will rush to take its place. The peace (or lack thereof) of the holidays already follows me throughout the year. But that’s okay because Jesus Christ has overcome the world. It doesn’t matter what surrounds me because, as a child of God, I am already a conqueror. This is where I find the peace that passes understanding. May peace of fully trusting in Christ in every circumstance fill my year. May you have the same.
Photo by Cutris Fletcher.
Remembering
With Christmas coming, my mom asked about “the little bird Jesus in a pear tree.” This was an Ellie-ism from last Christmas. Mom had forgotten a detail or two and wanted to be reminded. I searched the blog archives, not quite sure where to find it. Eventually I did what I should have done first: a Google search. There it was. First hit. I clicked the link then spent the morning reading entries from over a year ago.
Get them talking!
We don’t have any trouble getting our kids to talk. Getting them to stop talking is a whole ‘nother issue. But not all parents are blessed with chatty offspring.
A while back I participated in a blog tour for Mary DeMuth’s book Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture. (If you click on the “Authentic Parenting” link below, you can see all my posts related to the book.) Mary is currently hosting a contest on her website for parents whose children are reluctant to talk. Mary has written a wonderful resource to help parents and kids connect: 150 Conversation Starters. You can purchase this resource via her website or leave a comment on her blog to get it FREE. On December 20th Mary will choose five winners who offer the most creative conversation starters. Click HERE to enter and learn more.
The remainder of this post is an article written by Mary (used with permission). If you’re kids are the same ages as mine (two and three years old), you’ll want to put this some place safe for when we really need it. If your kids are already a little older, print it, laminate it, hang it on your fridge. She’s got some great tips here. Enjoy!
By Mary E. DeMuth
In a world of Halo, iphones, and IM, how do parents strategically engage their tuned-out kids? How can we create the kinds of homes that are irresistible to our children, enticing enough to make them tune out from games, media and texting and tune in to the rhythms of family life? Five ways.
One: Offer ‘em Something Better
The most enticing thing to a kid is community—real, authentic, God-breathed community. To create this, learn to do the following:
- Say you’re sorry when you’re wrong and ask forgiveness.
- Strive to become the person you want your child to become. Practice reconciliation, open communication, and serving each other.
- Listen, really listen to your kids. Give them eye-time. Don’t uh-huh their concerns, but strive to ask great questions to draw them out. Be willing to share your own struggles with your kids.
- Plan meal times together. And when you do, talk! One way to foster great communication is to have questions already prepared. For a sample, click here: http://www.marydemuth.com/files/Qsample.pdf. To purchase all 150, click here: http://www.marydemuth.com/store.php. To win them, click here: http://relevantblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/win-150-conversation-starters.html
- Have an unplug day—no phones, TV, gaming systems, and return to old fashioned board games, taking walks outside, and reading together.
- Resist DVDs in the minivan. Try books on tape instead—a wonderful way to engage your child’s mind. Discuss the book afterward.
- Welcome others into your home. Be the house all the kids want to congregate in.
Two: If You Can’t Beat ‘em, Join ‘em
Our kids will see movies; they will watch TV shows. Instead of always pushing against that, sit down next to your child and watch shows and movies together. Then use the time afterwards to discuss these questions:
- What is the worldview of this movie?
- What kind of person is the main character? Is she someone you want to be like?
- What lies does this movie perpetuate?
- What does this show say about materialism?
- What part of this movie showed God’s love?
Strategically engaging alongside our kids in the very thing we’re leery of does two things: It shows our kids we are willing to sacrifice our own desires to spend time with them. And it helps prepare them to better discern the movies and media they watch.
Three: Explore Different Ways to Celebrate Sabbath
Taking time away from the crazy rush-rush of a media saturated world is a counter-cultural move your family can take. Choose a day or afternoon for rest. Limit media that day. Choose to engage in artistic, creative endeavors together:
- If a child loves music, encourage him to write a song or create an unusual soundtrack.
- Supply kids with all sorts of visual arts tools: paint, brushes, magazines, pens, glue, and let them create. If you need focus, think of five families or friends who need to be encouraged, then create cards for each one.
- Let your kids have free reign of the video camera. Encourage them to make a movie. Then watch it together as a family, complete with popcorn.
- Pull out that karaoke machine.
- Read together.
- Do a puzzle or play board games.
Four: Go Outside
We are a disconnected culture, defining ourselves by the great indoors and cyberworlds. To combat that in your family, dare to open the front door and walk on out. Take strolls with your kids. Find a local park or wilderness preserve to poke around in. Hike together. Feed the ducks. Launch rockets. Play Frisbee. Kick the ball around. Ride bikes. Pick up garbage along the road. Skateboard. Make going outside as much of a habit as going outside.
Five: Focus Outward
Computers and movies and TV and phones focus us inward. Instead, seek to find ways to focus your family outward toward the needs of the world. Sponsor a child in a third world country. Go on a mission trip as a family and take a year together to plan it. Find a cause to support—like digging wells in Africa or alleviating AIDS. Volunteer at a nursing home. Muddying our feet and hands in the real needs of the world gives kids a greater picture of the world and pulls them away from the artificial, often narcissistic world they live in.
It is possible to re-engage your disengaged child. It takes effort, creativity and pluck, but it can be done. The reward? A rejuvenated, connected relationship with your child that no gadget can compare to.
In each of my posts about Mary and her books, I’ve focused on parenting. Just so you know, Mary is much more than a parent. She’s also a novelist, a seminary wife and a former missionary to France. Learn more at www.marydemuth.com.
The Well-Prepared Bride
“I’m never going to find a man to marry me!!!” After twenty minutes of hysterical crying, this is what my daughter said. She’s three. The scene continued for another twenty-five minutes.
Donning her “wedding dress” from last summer, she spent the morning chasing Zach around the house. At one point she literally tackled him to the ground. “You have to marry me now, Zachary!” Meanwhile, he repeatedly screamed “I don’t want to get married! I don’t want to marry you, Ellie!” He is only two and what boy wants to marry his sister?
Finally, I agreed to marry her. Yes, I see the social and doctrinal conflicts, but … well, there’s not much logic sinking in with a three-year-old who is convinced she’s an old maid forever doomed to singleness. It was the only way to calm her sobs.
The girl is obsessed with weddings. I would like to blame Katie and Ron (the bride and groom who graciously invited Ellie to be their flowergirl), but it’s not their fault. Not entirely. Now when she insists on having her wedding at a castle with lobster for dinner — because only real weddings have castles and lobster! — well, that will be their fault and we’ll probably send them a bill. But this is not their fault. Ellie is obsessed with weddings because she’s a girl. Girls love weddings. They love romance and fairy tales and knowing that some handsome fellow was created simply to love and care for them. Girls live to get married. They love to dream about happily ever after.
When Ellie was born I anticipated years of boy-craziness. I knew we would deal with the emotional roller coaster of searching for Prince Charming. If she’s anything like me, we’ll have our hands full. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t expect it to come so soon. My daughter’s wedding is already being planned … twenty years before the event.
A friend of mine, affectionately known as SpaghettiPie, wrote a wonderful Advent devotional. She compared the level of anticipation for Christmas between us and those in retail. Shouldn’t we be more excited about the birth of our Savior? Stores get ready so much earlier than we do! Maybe we have something to learn from them. And maybe we have something to learn from Ellie.
“‘Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.’ It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.” — Revelation 19:7-8 (NAS)
Revelation tells what is to come. In this passage, the bride is the church. She is about to marry the Lamb, Christ Jesus. Ellie will spend the next twenty years preparing for her wedding. How much time will we spend preparing for ours? If we are believers, we are part of the church. That means we are the bride. Are we ready? Is our dress fully sewn from our acts of righteousness? Are we clean and adorned as we would like?
Mary and Joseph prepared for the coming of Jesus. We prepare for the coming of Christmas. We should also prepare for when Jesus comes again. He is returning and when He does He needs to find His bride ready.
The FW Writer’s Group (of which my friend is a member) has written a 25-Day Advent Devotional. I invite you to join in the preparation for Christmas: Reflections on Advent 2007.
RSS Feed Fixed!
If you’ve had difficulties subscribing to my feed through Google Reader or some other service, please try it again. I apologize for the inconvenience. It turns out there was some rogue code redirecting everyone to a different blog. We found it and fixed it, so all should work correctly now. If it doesn’t, please let me know. I want to make sure you all can keep up with the site in the way you like best. Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading!!
More prayers
“Do return, O Lord; how long will it be? And be sorry for They servants. O satisfy us in the morning with They lovingkindness, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days Thou hast afflicted us, and the years we have seen trouble. Let Thy work appear to Thy servants, and Thy majesty to their children. And let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; and do confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands.” — Psalm 90:13-17 (NAS)
This past week has overwhelmed me. Not on my own behalf, but on account of friends who are struggling, who are in the midst of trials, the depths of which I can only imagine. A single mother whose home and all its contents were destroyed in a fire. A couple whose last fight against infertility failed. A husband returns from Iraq a different man to his wife and children. Marriage difficulties. Sudden death. Jobs lost without warning. Discouragement. Betrayal. Lonliness.
I am blessed! I sit in a warm house with two beautiful children and a husband who loves me. I am in need of nothing. The kids are currently sick, some nasty cold, but other than that we have no troubles. We are indeed blessed! One of those blessings is the priviledge of praying for our friends and loved ones.
All things come to pass. This time is one of comfort and serenity for us, but for those around us, a time of trial. My heart aches for them. I listen and ponder and pray. I weep and mourn with them, knowing it is a gift to carry these burdens together. A part of me feels guilty that I have it so good and they have it so rough. But this too shall pass. When it is my turn to walk through the valley, they may be on mountaintops offering ropes of encouragement and support. In the meantime, I cry out to God: “How long?” I beg Him to show us His favor, to confirm the work He has prepared for us. May He make clear the steps to be taken. Show us what to do! Then give permanence to the fruit of our obedience.
Photo by Datron Vulin.
