One thing I do well
Parents can always tell how they’re doing by watching their children. I’m not talking about the children’s behavior, but the children’s imitation.
When Isabel was younger she would discipline her babies by whacking them across the head. I know I never did that to our kids, but when a two-year-old recites her parents while assaulting her doll, it makes you wonder. Now I see my actions magnified when Isabel attempts to discipline Zachary. “Zach, come here right now. I need to talk to you. Zach! You’re not listening to me! I’m going to take away your firetruck, if you don’t obey!” And Zach does the same back to her. “Hush!! I not talk to you; I talk to Mommy!”
I hate hearing my demanding tones, my complaining, my impatience. It’s all right there, spewing from the mouths of my children. It’s awful and undeniable. Every parent has moments of insecurity. Why did God entrust these children to me? Couldn’t He have found someone better for the job?
Oh I’m sure there are many who are better-suited to be parents. People with patience oozing from their pores; stable emotions and clear logic and all those things I lack. My kids could have perfect parents! But then they would miss the sincerity of this family. They wouldn’t see an imperfect mom and know that if God can love and forgive her, He can do the same for them. They wouldn’t have a tangible understanding of our need for God. Would they still witness the day to day process of sanctification? Sure, they could have perfect parents, but look at all they would miss!
Watching my kids, I see my faults and I see God’s grace. Only a gracious, loving Father would give these two amazing people to me — to love, to care for, to learn from.
“Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the mind and healing to the body.” Proverbs 16:24 (AMP)
I see a lot of what I do wrong, but sometimes, like a glimmer of hope, I see what I do right, too. “Zach-y, you cleaned up all your toys. I so proud of you! Mommy, look what our big boy did!” “Ah-ie (Zach’s version of “Ellie”), I like your picture! You do good job. Hi-five! Mommy, come look at Ah-ie’s picture!” Praise. My kids get a lot of praise. It’s so funny to hear their little voices dripping with Mama’s encouraging entonation. I see them care for one another with immeasurable compassion. I see them forgive each other even when it’s hard. And I hear them praise each other. If nothing else, that’s one thing I do well. Just as the Proverb says, those pleasant words really are sweet and healing. A simple kindness between siblings can erase the frustration of a very weary mama.
Posted on October 23, 2007, in encouragement, parenting, praise. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.
Oh Tanya, I hear ya girl! I too am so thankful for God’s grace throughout my many failings as a mom. And then there are those little encouraging moments scattered throughout! I am so glad that your children hear those encouraging words often. I’m sure it is one of the many good memories they will have of their childhood.
Tanya, I’ve never posted a comment before and don’t even know if it will work. I just want to say how thankful I am that you are the mother of two of my precious grandchildren. Isabel and Zachary are so blessed to have a Mom who thoughtfully and prayerfully approaches each new stage and challenge. You always have their eternal future in mind, and I love the way you teach them about God and daily lead them to their Savior. I am so delighted to see how you and Rick parent your little ones. What a blessing for this Mom and Grandma!
Tanya, I have to say that I have always admired the way you mother your children. Seeing you with Elle and Zach really shows how great of a mother you are. You may not think you are patient but from an outsiders point of view, you seem to have all of the patience in the world. I hope I can be half the mother you are one day!
Ashley: You humble me! I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful mother, when the time comes. Thanks for stopping by! Hope to see you sometime soon.
Mom: You are always so supportive and encouraging!! I think every mother struggles with doubts, but I am one of the extreme few who has a mother-in-law consistently fighting to put those doubts to rest. Thank you.
Bev: Without God’s grace, I don’t think there would be mothers.
We are very blessed to have the job!!
That is so incredibly deep thinking there… You know I am sure you are a marvellous mother and by the responses up there from your friends! That would be true.. None of us are perfect but the fact that you are seeing what you are seeing and obviously changing your own actions is an incredibly wise thing!!! If “mummy” can change her behaviour and learn from her mistakes then so can her children
and that is something they will also learn! Thanks so much for blogging! That’s so precious! 
When we used to get the Disney channel and my kids were young enough to enjoy it, I used to envy those t.v. parents; they were so patient and level-headed. I’ve asked many times why God gave ME to my daughter, in particular; we’re just so different. I often wish I could be what she seems to need. Of course I know I am what she does need, although it doesn’t seem right (there’s that word “seem” again) because God doesn’t make mistakes. It’s a constant lesson in trust. I refuse to believe that there are any “real” level-headed parents! ; )
How very open and honest of you. I think more parents ought to admit that THIS STUFF IS HARD. Some don’t want to.
But yes, children are the mirror that doesn’t lie – at least not on purpose. Sometimes they have a skewed perspective too.
RLP is correct about parents not admitting this is hard. My two older sisters always “corrected” us when we were dealing with our 2 year old daughter. My two sisters had it easy when they had their kids: they had maid servants. My wife doesn’t and it’s a lot more stress when she has to deal with a demanding toddler and do her usual chores. Some parents simply “forget” the hard times and could only recall the good times. Unfortunately, my sisters only want to mostly share the good times, and that doesn’t help us much. In fact it could be downright demoralizing when we thought we couldn’t be upto their “standard”.
We do need more honest parents, like Tanya, who can share their pains, as well as the pleasure, of parenting.
Rudy: I’m sorry for the frustration you and your wife must felt! I can relate; I have a sibling who does the same with me and my son. I’ve been told he’s “out of control” and that I am failing to follow God’s guidelines. Parenting is personal; it’s spiritual; it’s individual. Above all this it can be intimidating, but with a humble heart and a focus on our holy God, we can emerge victorious, by His grace. I pray you are filled with His confidence as you train your daughter. (She’s ADORABLE, by the way!! I stopped by your site. Too cute!)