It’s still my choice.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” — Galations 6:9 (NIV)
I’m back to this verse again. Are all moms this tired or is it just me? Is it that my kids are so close in age? That my son, almost two-years-old, is still not sleeping through the night? Or is it just that I have two very strong-minded toddlers? Maybe Isabel is entering the “terrible twos” late and Zach is early. Whatever the cause, I find myself, once again, utterly exhausted — physically, mentally, emotionally. I’m shot. The only coherent thought I’ve had all day is the reiteration of this verse. Here it is in deeper context (and a different version).
“For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.” — Galations 6:8-10 (NAS)
The kids are testing me this week. Isabel’s favorite answer to my every request is “I don’t want to.” Excuse me? I’m the mom! The girl has grown a spirit of sass, probably inherited from her mother. Zach doesn’t have the words (other than “No!”) to express his rebellion. Instead, he’s throwing things and hitting his sister. I am tired of disciplining my children. Why can’t they remember the rules? And why can’t they understand that they choose to receive their just punishments?
It’s ninety degrees here today. We had planned to put out the pool and enjoy a day of swimming, but I had some errands to do first. “Now, kids, listen. If you misbehave while we’re out, we will not go swimming. No fits. No arguing. No whining. I want happy kids – got it?”
They answered in unison: “Yes, Mom.”
Isabel then elaborated: “Mommy, I going be-very-have so we can go swimming!” Okay, so she thinks “have” is an adjective rather than the second syllable in the verb “behave”, but that’s cute. As long as she does what she means – right?
Well, they were not very “have” and so the priviledge of swimming was taken away. They both screamed and cried their protests of injustice. But they CHOSE this. They knew in advance what the consequences would be. Good behavior would earn swimming. Poor behavior would earn no swimming.
They may not accept the logic. Even though I do, their crying and complaints are weakening me. I know I’m doing the right thing, but I want to go swimming, too! I’m hot, and the cool water would feel so good against my flesh; the sun on my face … But when I listen to that flesh, what do I reap? Corruption. If I listen to the Spirit — if I consistently train my children in the way they should go — we will all reap eternal salvation.
Ellie and Zach have a choice in how they will behave. I have a choice in what I do as a result. I have a choice in how I will parent. Yes, I am tired of disciplining my children, but I cannot grow weary for I know this is good.
I don’t know what you are struggling with today. Perhaps you’re in my boat aching under the pressures of parenting. Maybe you’re dealing with an immoral boss or a frustrating family. I don’t know, but I do know that this promise is just as true for you and your circumstances as it is for me and mine. Whatever we do, if we seek God first, He will reward us in due time. We cannot grow weary of doing good. We must persevere until our time is completed.
My children are finally sleeping … a reminder of God’s perfect provision. When we need rest, He provides it.
If this post seems irrelevant to you, I apologize. Sometimes this blog is more for me than you. I pray, though, that through the chaos of my thoughts, God will bless you with a glimmer of His goodness, His wonder, His perfection. In the meantime, thanks for letting me share. 
Posted on July 6, 2007, in discipline, frustration, parenting, trials, work. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.
Wonderful verse for the subject at hand. Never give up doing what’s right. At least do the very best you can. If God says you will reap in due season you will reap in due season.
Praying for your children….and for you.
Hope your spirits lift soon and you see the fruit. Blessings
I’m so glad you shared, Tanya, I’d hate to think I went through all I did as a young mom and not be able to share a bit of it for someone else’s good…
I was still nursing my kids when they were Zach’s age–each to twenty-six months–and they slept in our bed. I never slept through the night until our youngest was three; that was after seven years of mothering!
Our oldest was a saint at two years of age; with him it was the terrible three’s for sure! As brilliant as he was with his sayings, and adorable in his fat cheeks and dimples everywhere, I was after him with the “rod of correction,” it seems, every day!
Oh, yes, I was tired–I can remember it as a haze of memory– you’re so normal, and a good mom.
We DO suffer as moms, even more so than they do, when we dole out punishment to our kids. You can add your fate of not being able to swim to a long list of things I myself have missed out on in order to be consistent and firm for my kids’ own good!
Their character is hanging in the balance, and we are the watchers at the wall–that IS a VERY tiring job if you’re doing it right!
On those days when you wonder about your effectiveness of your parenting skills, read some of your Ellie-isms.
Those words are surely proof that you are raising a brilliant witty observant child!
I love your blog – even all of your rambling whiny posts about your kids. Just kidding.
You are a highly skilled writer and I truly enjoy reading anything and everything you may write.
And, yes, you always say something through which God speaks to me through your words.
Keep smiling. Keep trusting. Keep writing.
God bless!
Tanya, you are NOT alone. I understand. My girls are 15 months apart. When they were little, I thought I was going to lose control. Sometimes, I would go behind closed door’s to cry rather than take my frustrations out on them. Remembering back to those years, (I thought would NEVER end,) let me try to lift your spirits by saying, It will be over before you know it! That may not seem encouraging right now (it wasn’t for me at the time.) At such a young age, they do not fully understand “the rule’s”. Right now, they recognize tone’s much better than words. Once I realized that I didn’t have to explain my reasoning (or any thing else) to my children, life became easier. If all they understood was “yes,” or “no,” then that was the only response I would give them. No matter how often I wanted to say, “because you misbehaved, you can not…” They would ask, “what’s mis-have mamma?” Their little minds could not comprehend all that I tried to fill it with. All you have to do is remember you are in control, and they are still, just babies. They are just beginning to explore and they do not understand reasoning (much.) They must first realize, what Mom say’s goes. Mom said, “no,” that’s it. The end. They do not need a lot of explanation right now. They do deserve to know why they can not do what they want, just keep your response to a minimum. And “terrible two’s?” that’s just an old tale. Don’t set yourself up based on what other’s have been through. Your children are not theirs, and you are not the mother they are. Have confidence in yourself. God gave you two beautiful children to care for. That’s all you have to do. It’s not about giving them what they “deserve.” It’s about obedience. The verse about, bringing them up the way they should go, that’s often misunderstood. You have to raise each individual child according to their individual needs. You can not raise each one the same way becasue they are not the same child. There are so many things I could share with you. I’m afraid this is not a very clear picture, but I hope some of it helps.
Trust me…it WILL get better.
Best wishes,
THANK YOU, all, for your wonderful support! And for letting me ramble and vent.
And Dale – thanks for the laugh. Yes, I am whiny, so thanks for putting it up with me! Please know respect is mutual. I love visiting your site.
Tanya, you ARE a skilled writer. I am sure the time will come when you’ll look back on this phase and see it was indeed a time of inspiration.
You know, sometimes I tell people I believe I am blessed because I have no kids…. most of the time I get the weirdest looks… reading your posts however, I am thinking I am right after all, haha! Just kidding!
Tanya, I’m so sorry you’re still sleep deprived. I’ve only been allowed to sleep through the night with my little one (almost two) starting a couple of weeks ago. (Earlier in the month, I thought we’d be sleeping through the night, but that didn’t work out…) I’ve hallucinated and started writing backwards, although I’m not dyslexic. I SOOOOOO sympathize. I will keep you in my prayers.
Kristina
Hi, Tanya,
I think everyone has just about said everything I wanted to say…I remember how very tiring it was when mine were little. I had three kids under four.. Its good to vent and whine…we are all ears when it comes to you sharing..you are doing a great job as a mum….