Monthly Archives: February 2007
Ellie-isms
This week is pretty crazy. Zachary starts physical therapy tomorrow (because he still isn’t walking) which puts Isabel in daycare for the first time ever. Thursday will find a contractor installing new countertops and a sink in our kitchen. Friday brings my mom in from Kentucky. Saturday is Isabel’s third birthday. I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to write this week; I’m already feeling a tad guilty for neglecting you the past few days. So, instead of my usual type of post, I’ve decided to share with you some “Ellie-isms”.
My recent post about context was met with rave reviews — probably the most popular post to date! This time I’ll not share what I say, but rather what Isabel says. She’s such a trip, as many of you well know. Here are a few more glimpses into her personality and my life with her.
Isabel was playing with crayons in a resturant while we waited for our food. Since I had recently been teaching her about mixing two colors to make another, I asked her: “What do yellow and blue make?”
She grabbed the yellow and blue crayons. “CHOPSTICKS!”
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The Sun Works
Faith is currently the hot topic of my life. We talked about it at MOPS this week; I reviewed a book about faith for CCBReview last week. It even came up during a recent trip to the grocery store.
My conversations with Isabel are always surprising and enlightening. She never ceases to show me new perspectives on life, God, my behavior or society. Her eyes are so fresh and her mind so perceptive. This week was no exception.
As we drove to the grocery store she looked out her window noticed all the snow still on the ground. This is a big deal because she is just beginning to understand seasons. If there is no snow on the ground, she insists winter is over. It could be five degrees outside, but if there’s not snow, to her it is summer. Don’t even try to argue with her — she’s convinced. Instead of saying “Let’s go play in the snow”, she says “Let’s go play in the winter!” Well, seeing all the “winter” still on the ground, she asked me why some people had winter on their grass and others didn’t. I explained the sun had melted some of the snow, but some was hidden in the shade of tall trees or houses and didn’t see the sun as much. This intrigued her. “Mommy, the sun doesn’t like winter?”
“Of course, the sun likes winter. But the sun really likes the summer. Before we can have summer, we need spring. Spring comes after the sun melts all the snow and the flowers start to grow.”
She thought long and hard about this, then in a voice of near panic, she yelled from the back seat: “Mommy! The sun is not working!” Apparently, she had enough winter and wanted spring to arrive in less than five minutes. The concept of faith immediately entered stage left.
“Honey, it doesn’t happen all at once, but it will happen. I promise. It happens every year and it will happen again this year … when the time is right. You just have to trust and have faith.”
Trying to explain faith to a not-yet three-year-old is difficult. There is the comparison to wind: you can’t see it, but you know it’s there; you see its effects. The problem is she can feel wind. She can’t feel spring. She can’t feel God. What is faith? How do I explain such a huge concept to my children?
“Daddy comes home every day, doesn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“Even if you can’t see him leave work and you can’t hear his train whistle, you know he’s coming home. It’s the same with spring. You may not see the sun working and you may not hear the flowers grow, but spring will come.”
At this point she lost interest in faith preferring instead to discuss what kind of grocery cart we should use and whether or not she could get a special cookie. I assured myself the conversation would rise again and I would be more prepared when it did. We completed our shopping and drove home talking about all kinds of toddler topics, mostly her cookie which she now clutched tightly in her hands. Back home, after getting her out of the van, we walked gingerly across the ice and snow. She stopped short at the edge of the sidwalk in a small puddle of melted slush. “Mommy! It’s working! The sun is working just like you said!”
Just a little bit of faith … So often life stresses me. I want to know exactly what God’s plan is for today and tomorrow and all the days to follow. I want to hear an audible voice assuring me that everything is going to fall perfectly into place. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. Just as Isabel is choosing to believe spring will come, I must choose to believe God is in control. That’s faith. And I have plenty of reasons to believe; more than enough evidence to support my faith. Afterall, the sun works.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)
First Prayers
Zachary is learning to pray. It is the most beautiful thing.
Isabel prayed at a young age, but she has always been a very spiritual child. It is almost as if she was born believing in God. She has never questioned His existence or sovereignty, but rather assumes His presence and gasps in awe at each new thing she learns about Him. Her first prayers seemed a natural extension of her personality. In her soft, silky voice she whispered: “Thank you, God, Mama, Daddy, food. Amen.” Now, more than a year later, her prayers are almost the same as the very first one. She usually prays the same prayer at each occasion: “Thank you, God, for this great day and great family! Amen.” A few seconds later, she starts again: “Oh! I forgot! And thank for this great food Mommy made. Amen.”
Zachary is a different creature all together. He has a much more tangible personality. It takes some persuading to win him. He’s strong and confident and somewhat the skeptic. He is multi-layered. With Isabel — what you see is what you get; with Zachary — you’re never quite sure what’s going on in his mind. We’ve struggled from the beginning with him and prayer time. He would scream whenever we prayed before meals, during morning devotions and before bed. He hated it and we hated that he hated it. Rick and I have been praying for months asking God to get a hold of this little guy’s heart and turn it toward Himself. Over the past month or so, we’ve seen a huge difference in Zach. He now patiently folds his hands before each meal. He quietly places his forehead on mine each night before bed. And now he has begun to pray for himself.
His prayers are not like Isabel’s. We have no idea what he is saying, really. It’s just a serene babble with “God” thrown in here and there. His hands folded neatly and his voice determined, he insists on praying first. And loudest. Oh, how I love the prayers of children! I wish I could hear the Spirit’s interpetation of these babbles, these sweet, heartfelt messages to God.
“We do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” — Romans 8:26 (NAS)
Being a Child
With her big blue eyes and soft curls, Isabel rested her face in her hands. She smiled the world’s purest smile and sighed. “It’s fun being a child.”
Sometimes I forget she’s only two. She’ll be three in a couple weeks, but she is still so young! Then such profound statements roll off her tongue … I am lost in the wonder of God. How could He pack so much delight, intelligence, creativity, perception and enthusiasm in such a tiny package? She is beyond amazing to me, and the God who created her is unfathomable. I cannot even begin to comprehend all that He is.
In addition to His character is the truth of His love.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” – 1 John 3:1 (NIV)
I think about Isabel’s statement. My teenage years were a blast! Without hesitation I admit: it’s fun being a teen. But being a child? That’s a different story. My parents’ divorce and the circumstances causing and extending from that filled my childhood with fear, doubt and insecurity. I didn’t know where I belonged and I never wanted to be where I was. I was lonely. I was lost. I was angry. It was not fun being a child.
I am so grateful Isabel and Zach have a different story. It is because of the differences they can enjoy their childhood. What was lacking in my childhood is present in theirs. Best of all, what is lacking from even their childhood is present in a relationship with God, the perfect Father.
As I’ve grown up, my ideas of fun have changed drastically. Once upon a fun always included a large group of people, wild activities and often loud music. Now, I love staying home and watching tv with only one person (my husband, of course). Fun isn’t always what you’re doing. It’s your circumstances and your attitude.
It’s fun being a child of God, not because we have the best toys and crazy parties, but because of the security and peace found in knowing we are fully loved by an awesome, faithful Father. It’s difficult to be bored when you recognize every day is a gift. You can’t easily be depressed when you have a Savior who not only sees past your superficial persona, but knows all your deepest, darkest secrets and loves you in spite of them. I’m not saying life is wonderful and filled with cotton candy. Christians have trials just like everybody else. But as children of God, we find security, safety, love, peace, joy, rest … everything we need and more in our Holy Father God. We know He is fully capable of anything and everything we request. Furthermore, we know He loves us and will give us what is best for us. In that we find immeasurable freedom. What’s more fun than freedom?
Hopitality Challenge Update
We are covered in snow and ice. This is not an excuse or a cop-out! But I did want to stay accountable regarding the hospitality post a few days ago. I’m postponing the challenge for a week just so we can dig out.
And how are you?? Have you stepped up to your no-grumbling challenge? Let me know!
Where in the world …
Do you remember Carmen SanDiego? We always watched that show as kids. Now, we sing the same theme song but search for Matt Lauer. Let me add just one more version … “Where in the world is Tanya Sue writing??”
Okay, so some of you are still stuck on the revelation of my middle name. Rhythmically it fit better with the tune of our theme song … and, yes, that is my name. Back to the point!
My hope and prayer is that this “Where in the world …” will become a regular posting. As God leads and allows me to write for different sites and publications, I want to keep you, my faithful readers, abreast of where you can find articles and more penned by me, completely through the grace of God.
Faith Readers is a new site aiming to provide safe reading for the whole family. It is completely free and very user-friendly. They have published two of my articles which you can view HERE. From the home page you can search by category (Bible study, devotional, family, etc.) or you can search by author (Tanya Dennis). Take a look around and let me know what you think.
As a side note, but a very important note, I covet your prayers. As opportunities arise and what I write reaches beyond where I can see, I become increasingly intimidated by the charge God has given me. I truly believe He wants me to write, but it is an enormous responsiblity, one I do not take lightly. Please pray for me that I will write only what He wants to be written; that He will guide me in giving the message He has prepared in advance for me to give. Know that I pray daily for all who read this blog. I pray God will translate the words between my keyboard and your screen so that you will understand exactly what He wants you to know. You are a blessing to me. Please pray that I will be a blessing to you and to all who find me wherever I may be.
“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” — 2 Timothy 2:15 (NAS)
In honor of Valentine’s Day …
We have never really celebrated Valentine’s Day. Four years ago this week we took a trip to St. Lucia. All my friends gushed with “Oh, how sweet! He’s taking you on a Valentines’ getaway!” My response: “Oh, man! Really? We’re going to be surrounded by sappy couples …”
It’s a Hallmark holiday. I love love, but don’t see why we need a special day to celebrate it. Love is something we should always celebrate. If you want to get your sweetheart flowers, send them on a nothing day. The surprise will mean more than the obligatory box of chocolates given just because the calendar says so. As Christians, we should live like every day is valentine’s day.
Most of you are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13. In fact, many of you probably had it read at your weddings. In just four verses, God tells us what love is. Today I decided to flesh this out a bit; to give these four verses some practical application for one in my station of life.
Love is patient. It waits quietly and happily as its two-year-old daughter takes ten minutes to fold her toilet paper just so.
Love is kind. It grabs mittens for the child who must lean up against the bitter cold window to watch every snowplow driving pass. Love doesn’t want those tiny fingers to be too chilly or distract from the joy of seeing such big trucks.
It does not envy. Love rejoices with her friends who have bigger houses and nicer clothes and built-in babysitters. It never pouts about the blessings of others.
It does not boast; it is not proud. Love is humble, always remembering everything it has is a gift from God. Love does not brag about its children or their latest accomplishments. Love does not judge the children or choices of others. It knows that tomorrow her children may be the terrors running through the grocery store instead of the cherubs she now sees.
It is not rude; it is not self-seeking. Love always listens before speaking. It does not use its friends for their connections or snub others for the sake of the “cool table”.
It is not easily angered. Love remembers that children are children. It does not answer a wailing child with an even-louder, adult wail. Love provides proportionate consequences and delivers discipline with a calm demeanor. It is not passive aggressive toward a husband who left a wet towel on the bedroom floor yet again.
Love keeps no record of wrongs. What is in the past is in the past. Love does not cling to a careless statement made weeks ago, but forgives freely.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It does not gossip about friends, but rather defends the honorable. Love doesn’t revel in despicable reality shows. It teaches her children about God and lives a life of purity as their example.
Love always protects … It never leaves its children in the car, even for just a second. It clothes them warmly and cares for their every physical need.
… always trusts … Love knows God is all she needs. It does not fear because the God she trusts is greater than all things created, all things past, present or yet to come. Love is optimistic and always thinks the best about others.
… always hopes … Love believes in the future. She allows her children to explore and learn on their own without feeling her hovering shadow. She is ambitious. Doubt is not found in her.
… always perseveres. Even at three AM love knows people depend on her. Love keeps going when strength seems gone.
Love never fails. My actions may fail. I will not always be right in my decisions, motives or attitudes, but if my life is saturated with love, it will not be for loss. Love will be what my children remember.
Keep it in context.
As a mother, several things have escaped my lips that I never expected. I hear the things I say and am so grateful for context. Let me give you a few examples.
“He’s not an animal; he’s your brother!” … Spoken to a frantic Isabel as she ran screaming from Zach who was hopping as fast as possible to catch the “princess”.
“Only Mommy gets to kick Zachary.” … Again, spoken to Isabel, who was kicking Zach from behind. She learned this by watching me. Zachary is a scooter; he’s not walking yet, and when my hands are full, I prod him along with my feet to get him to move where I need him to be.
“Get that stick out of your butt!” … One of my most notorious statements to Zachary … We have a number of popsicle sticks the kids use for crafts and such. He was holding one such stick and, while I attempted to change his diaper, kept putting it down where it shouldn’t have been.
“Can you run? How fast can you run across the parking lot?” … Before I explain this, please note: no one was in danger of being run over. I was simply trying to hurry Isabel along. It was twenty degrees outside and my arms were ready to fall off while carrying Zachary, my purse, a diaper bag and a collection of just-purchased books. Isabel, meanwhile, was taking her time making footprints in the dusting of snow. It was the church parking lot and it was empty.
“We don’t hang things on penises.” … Okay, this one might be a little harder to explain … The kids occasionally take baths together. During one of these baths, Isabel noticed Zach has a penis and she does not. For some reason, she thought it was the perfect place to hang her bath toys. Thus, the instruction.
By themselves, these statements make me sound like a horrible mother and questionable human being! But in context, they sound quite different. Scripture works the same way.
Years ago I found a wedding card that read: “Multiply yourselves like the grasshoppers; multiply like the locusts!” (Nahum 3:15, NIV) One of my favorite verses as a teenager: “Then I turned, and lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a flying roll.” (KJV) There in Zachariah 5:1 we find biblical justification for covering your neighbor’s house with toilet paper. It’s funny when we recognize the lack of context, but sometimes we don’t. Sometimes people encounter a verse and use it for anything they think is applicable. But without the context, you cannot truly understand what was meant.
When Paul said it is better to remain single, he was not preaching against marriage or calling for the end of the human race. In context (1 Corinthians 7) it is clear Paul is encouraging believers to be where God has called them to be. If you can serve God better as a married couple, get married. If you can serve Him better alone, stay single. Context matters.
Let me urge you to follow the context. The Bible is not a book of do-this and don’t-do-that rules. It is a vivid example of how children of God are to live – not just the actions, but the heart. You find the heart in the context. Don’t worry so much about the black and white on the page. Read what is written, of course, but don’t miss the intent.
Hospitality with a side of grumbling
Someone once said hospitality is sharing your company; entertaining is showing off. I want to be hospitable, but too often I am secretly entertaining. Instead of focusing on the fellowship, I long for everyone to revel in the food and praise me for my culinary skills. Instead of rejoicing in the friendship, I want my guests to delight in my home and the ways I’ve decorated it. None of this is being hospitable. I may appear to be a wonderful hostess, but deep down I suffer the cancer of pride. Or insecurities.
Pride is often coupled with insecurity. You want to be the best, but privately wonder what will happen if you’re not the best. Will your friends still like you? Will they become better friends with people better than you? Whatever the reason – be it pride or insecurity – it’s still not right. Everything I have, from my house to my cooking abilities, is a gift from God. None of it has anything to do with me. I haven’t earned any of it, so I have no right to boast about it. If praise is given, it belongs to God alone. And regarding insecurities, they’re not right either. God has made me exactly what I need to be, so feeling less than worthy in His presence shows a lack of faith in His love and forgiveness.
This morning our pastor spoke about 1 Peter 4. The chapter talks about living for God; it instructs believers to love one another and give generously. To me, one verse seemed bold-faced.
“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” – 1 Peter 4:9 (NIV)
It is easy to recognize obvious forms of grumbling. After they leave you may complain about something your guests did or said. You may mumble how no one helped clean up after dinner. Or you pout when your friends never invite you to their house. All of this is pretty obvious grumbling, but some kinds of grumbling are more disguised. This is where I found conviction this morning.
We don’t have a dinning room. We have an eat-in kitchen. It’s perfect for our small family of four, but any more than that and the space quickly becomes cramped. Hosting larger get-togethers required quite a home transformation. We have to take apart the table and move it into the basement. We then get the gateleg table and put the two together before finding enough chairs for everyone. It’s a hassle and I hate it.
So, what do I do? I refuse to invite people over. It’s horrible! I claim our house is too small and we don’t have enough room for company. This is my grumbling. True: our house is not ideal for entertaining. But God hasn’t called us to entertain. He has called us to be hospitable. My pride, which will not allow me to entertain in a basement, is leading me in disobedience.
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing.” – Philippians 2:14 (NAS)
In what ways are you quietly grumbling? Are you holding onto pride or insecurities that prevent you from truly obeying God?
Here is my challenge: this week I will invite someone over without making excuses for our lack of a dining room. What can you do to overcome your grumbling? Email me or leave a comment. We can keep each other accountable and then rejoice together at God’s faithfulness.
My very best …
Back in December I told you about Isabel and her birthday “gifts” for Jesus. Well, she hasn’t stopped giving her all. Recently, again while on the potty, she jumped up, grabbed my hands and proclaimed: “My very best peepee for my very favorite mommy!!”
She is so enthusiastic in everything she does! Like every child this age, she seeks to please her parents. It always encourages me to seek our heavenly Father’s approval with such enthusiasm. Are we giving our very best for our very worthy Father?
