Daily Archives: November 9, 2006

When I was young, I fell hard in love with this guy. He was everything I knew I wanted. Secretly, I planned our future together. Eventually, he noticed me, too. Then, together we began planning our future. I was thrilled! But, as is normal, the longer we were together, the more we learned about each other. This aspect of me was not quite right, so I tried to change it before it bothered him too much. Then another thing popped up, and we worked on that. His mother never liked me, but that didn’t dampen my conviction. I could imagine no one else I would be happy spending my life with, so I worked hard to become everything she wanted for her son. I bent and changed, all the while singing a happy tune.

Finally, after years of on-again/off-again roller-coaster trials, our relationship ended for good. I was devastated. I spent hours and hours, weeks and months, trying to figure out what I did wrong. I replayed every conversation, every letter of every encounter. If only I had done this … If only I had said this instead … If only he knew this … then everything would be fine. But everything worked out just as it should have. God was in control the whole time. Oh, you couldn’t convince me of that then, but I know it now. The truth is: that guy wasn’t what I needed and he wasn’t really what I wanted.

Matthew Perry uses a great line in the movie “Fools Rush In.” While trying to stop Selma Hayek from leaving, he jumps in front of her truck and says: “You are everything I never knew I always wanted!” I cannot think of a better way to describe my husband.

Our friends were all shocked when Rick and I started dating. He’s very straight-laced and traditional, a military kid. He is hot as anything, but people don’t always notice that through his seemingly Beaver Cleaver persona. While he was studying and keeping to himself, I was a hippie-chick prioritizing my social life over books. We didn’t hang with any of the same people. Most didn’t even know we were dating until after we were married. Nobody got it. But I have never been happier. He is not at all what I thought I wanted; he is not at all what I thought I needed, yet he is perfect for me. I would love to tell you all the juicy details of how wonderful he is, but those morsels are mine.

Instead, I want to tell you how none of this is an accident. It isn’t luck that brought us together. It isn’t even fate or destiny. We are not with each other because we messed up previous relationships. God knew all along – the whole time I was fighting to win over that other guy – He knew I wasn’t meant to be with him. He had already prepared Rick in advance for me — and me for him.

God has the future in His hands. There is no point in us trying to take it from Him. He knows what is best for us. We can rest knowing that what He has planned will come to fruition; what He has designed for our futures will be. And we will be happier with that than we would ever be with our own plans. I know this is true, because He knows what we really want; He knows what we really need – whether we know it or not.

“‘For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.’” — Jeremiah 29:11 (NET)