Monthly Archives: November 2006

Nativity Mix-ups

Certain stories are always repeated at Christmas: “The Sound of Music”, “Charlie Brown” and the time Uncle So-and-so set the tree on fire. Every family has their stories. Mine laughs about my brother getting stuck in the sofa bed. We folded him up in there as a joke, but then couldn’t get him out. My sister and I cried hysterically at the time, thinking we had just killed our mother’s firstborn. Now it’s just a fun part of Christmas conversation – as are our many misrepresentations of the Nativity. My mother loves to tell how I tried so hard (being the drama queen that I am) to provide an accurate portrayal of Luke 2. As my brother read, “Mary pondered all these things in her heart,” I fiercely beat my chest, pounding all that I could into my heart. As the next generation grows, so does our collection of stories.

We recently purchased a ‘Little People’ nativity set for the kids. I was so excited to give it to them and share the story of Christmas once again. Isabel loved it and listened intently. She especially liked pushing the angel to hear ‘Away in a Manger.’ My girl immediately started learning the song. When I re-entered the room a few minutes later, I heard her sing: “… the little bird Jesus go sleep in the hay!”

“Honey, it’s not ‘little BIRD’. It’s ‘little LORD Jesus.’”

“No, Mama. Little BIRD. See?” With a ballet-like flourish, she gestured toward the little plastic palm tree, now holding a colorful toucan borrowed from Noah’s ark.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, you’ve got a bird in the tree, huh?”

“A PEAR tree!”

Yes, we’ve got a new story: the little bird Jesus in a pear tree.

Mama Loves Carnival

It’s far too easy to think of the negative side of things. The isolation of being a stay-at-home mom or a writer can drive one crazy. The constant demands, monotany with simultaneous unpredictability can leave us in a funk. There we “vent” and marinate our thoughts in negativity. God has better plans for us! He wants us to rejoice and thrive in this high calling He has given us — whether that call be to raise the next generation of missionaries, write the next break-out novel or just finish a mountain of laundry before your adoring husband comes home.

Mama Loves is a way for us to focus on the praise-worthy parts of our life. What do you love about being a mama? What thrills you about being a writer? What’s the best part of fulfilling your calling? We can all rant and rave and use our blogs for cathartic purposes, but let’s offer one day a week (or at least one post!) for perpetual praise.

WHO can participate: Anybody! You do NOT have to be a mama to particpate. You don’t even need a uterus. You just need some positive thoughts about life, love, faith, whatever.

HOW: If you have a blog, post about something positive, something that you love, anything that makes you smile. In your post, include a link to here, In the Dailies. You can use the Mama Loves button, but you certainly don’t have to. After you publish your post on your blog, come back here to sign up through Mr. Linky. This will get people from here over to your site for a look-see. Please use a direct link to your post, not just a general link to your blog.

If you don’t have a blog, use the comments section to share your positive grin.

WHEN: Every Tuesday. I’ll try to have my post (with Mr. Linky) up by 7 am (EST) on Tuesdays, but don’t set your watch by me.

WHY: To put a positive grin on blogging.

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”
– Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

Thanksgiving Challenge

I have a new laptop. I AM SO EXCITED!!! This is my combination birthday and Christmas gift. It is tiny and cute, less than five pounds. Simply adorable, complete with neon green sleeve and red poppy accent. The keys sing to me as the glistening (a.k.a. non-juice-stained or toddler finger-printed) exterior further brightens this already sunshine-y day. *sigh* I am so happy.

Thanksgiving is only a couple days away. Isn’t it wonderful to be forced to be thankful? It seems human to forget; to take things for granted. It is awful how easily we become accustomed to the blessings we’ve been given, almost instantly becoming bored with what we knew we had to have just moments before. But on Thanksgiving we are forced to remember our blessings. We are obligated to think of at least one thing we are thankful for. Once we think of one, many flow. Thanksgiving should be a monthly holiday. Truly, we should be thankful for everything every day, but if every day were Thanksgiving, we would eventually get bored with it and forget to be thankful even when the holiday demands it. So, I suggest a once-a-month holiday. Or maybe once a week. Of course, that would be a Sabbath, wouldn’t it?

When we first moved into this house, I thanked God for it every day. I was so grateful to be out of our apartment! Two years later my comments about this place are more complaints than praise. When did I stop thanking Him for this house? When did my focus change from the positive to the negative? Now instead of reveling in the space and back yard, I only see how small it is and what needs to be fixed. It is still the same house. It hasn’t changed. I am still thrilled to be out of apartments, but I’ve stopped being thankful that we are.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23

The blessings God gives us may not always seem new to us. They may lose their luster as we quickly become accustomed to having them, but the truth is: they are new every morning. We do not deserve them any more today than we did when first we received them. They are renewed for us each day. Take a few moments this week to remember the blessings God continues to give you; the ones that no longer seem new, but are still great blessings.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for so much. Yes, I am thankful for this new laptop, but I am also thankful for my old laptop. It has been very good to me. Both were unexpected gifts. I am thankful for my children – also unexpected gifts. I am thankful for my husband, who gave them all to me! I thank God for our family, our house, our friends … even our minivan. I am thankful for each new morning, each new opportunity to praise Him. I am thankful for you, as you read my ramblings, and all the encouragement you have given me. I am thankful for the future and all that it holds. I am thankful the future holds surprises…

God’s love and faithfulness is indeed so great.

The Shelter of the Most High

Isabel has memorized her very first verse!

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1” (NIV)

Ellie can quote the verse and the reference, but I’m not convinced she understands the meaning. I explained to her: when we trust in God, He protects us from our enemies. She struggles with nightmares; I wanted her to know God always protects us when we rest in Him. In trying to teach her the verse, I, too, had to repeat it over and over. We would say it during breakfast, lunch and dinner. God used this repetition to show me another layer of His protection.

While we were memorizing this verse, I was enduring a personal struggle. Someone I trusted implicitly and depended on for support criticized my performance in purpose and obedience to God. This person expressed great concern at my apparent failure. I was devastated. As I worked on this verse with our little one, I was silently praying for resolution, for wisdom, for peace. I knew I didn’t agree with the assessment made nor the solutions prescribed. I felt justified, but the attack still caused internal bleeding.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1”

There is more to it than just protection from your enemies. It is protection from your fears; protection from your friends; protection from your doubts.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1”

As long as you and I stand firm in our obedience to God, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. If we live in the shelter of the Most High, seeking Him always and striving to follow Him, then nothing else can touch us. We don’t need to worry what others may say or think. We are not subject to their judgments. We are resting in the shadow of the Almighty and He will defend us. He will protect us. In my mother’s words: “We are never safer than in the center of God’s hand.” It is in His shelter and His shadow that we find our confidence. It is there that we find our peace.

I am so glad Ellie has this gem of Truth pocketed. I am sure there will be many occassions to pull it out.

A God Who Plans

When I was young, I fell hard in love with this guy. He was everything I knew I wanted. Secretly, I planned our future together. Eventually, he noticed me, too. Then, together we began planning our future. I was thrilled! But, as is normal, the longer we were together, the more we learned about each other. This aspect of me was not quite right, so I tried to change it before it bothered him too much. Then another thing popped up, and we worked on that. His mother never liked me, but that didn’t dampen my conviction. I could imagine no one else I would be happy spending my life with, so I worked hard to become everything she wanted for her son. I bent and changed, all the while singing a happy tune.

Finally, after years of on-again/off-again roller-coaster trials, our relationship ended for good. I was devastated. I spent hours and hours, weeks and months, trying to figure out what I did wrong. I replayed every conversation, every letter of every encounter. If only I had done this … If only I had said this instead … If only he knew this … then everything would be fine. But everything worked out just as it should have. God was in control the whole time. Oh, you couldn’t convince me of that then, but I know it now. The truth is: that guy wasn’t what I needed and he wasn’t really what I wanted.

Matthew Perry uses a great line in the movie “Fools Rush In.” While trying to stop Selma Hayek from leaving, he jumps in front of her truck and says: “You are everything I never knew I always wanted!” I cannot think of a better way to describe my husband.

Our friends were all shocked when Rick and I started dating. He’s very straight-laced and traditional, a military kid. He is hot as anything, but people don’t always notice that through his seemingly Beaver Cleaver persona. While he was studying and keeping to himself, I was a hippie-chick prioritizing my social life over books. We didn’t hang with any of the same people. Most didn’t even know we were dating until after we were married. Nobody got it. But I have never been happier. He is not at all what I thought I wanted; he is not at all what I thought I needed, yet he is perfect for me. I would love to tell you all the juicy details of how wonderful he is, but those morsels are mine.

Instead, I want to tell you how none of this is an accident. It isn’t luck that brought us together. It isn’t even fate or destiny. We are not with each other because we messed up previous relationships. God knew all along – the whole time I was fighting to win over that other guy – He knew I wasn’t meant to be with him. He had already prepared Rick in advance for me — and me for him.

God has the future in His hands. There is no point in us trying to take it from Him. He knows what is best for us. We can rest knowing that what He has planned will come to fruition; what He has designed for our futures will be. And we will be happier with that than we would ever be with our own plans. I know this is true, because He knows what we really want; He knows what we really need – whether we know it or not.

“‘For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.’” — Jeremiah 29:11 (NET)

Pudgy Hands

Everyone has been sick in this house lately. We’ve been battling a nasty cold for about a week. First it got Ellie; then it moved on to Zach and Rick before attacking me. The good thing about being sick is the excuse it offers to do nothing. One of my favorite quotes, though I don’t know who said it, is this: “There is never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” I love being able to do nothing, even if it means I must be sick to get the opportunity.

Last night Rick went out to get some dinner. (Another bonus of being sick: Rick does the cooking! Translation: TAKE-OUT.) Meanwhile, the kids and I climbed into our big bed. Between playing sleep and switching the bedside lamps off and on, they settled into a nice, cozy pile of cuddles. Ellie was in Rick’s spot, priding over her claimed territory. Zach nestled under my arm and against my chest. As I held his hand in mine, I was overcome by his pudge.

Zachary has always had rather mature features. Ellie was still rippled with irresistible baby fat at his age, but not him. He has always been rather lean. Add in defined facial features and an often serious personality; you can’t help but see the little man in him.

But last night, as we cuddled in a nest of germs, I held a baby’s hand. His little fingers were still dimpled and his wrist a solid line. I stroked it over and over with my thumb. He and his sister chattered away, and I wondered how I could have missed this. I have been so busy with surviving life with these two, keeping up with ministry responsibilities, the house, family dramas and friends … LIFE. I have been so busy with life I failed to relish my baby’s pudge.

God brought a verse to mind: “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life …” (1 Thess. 4:11, NAS) The Author goes on instructing us to mind our own business and work hard so that we may be independent and win the respect of others.

I always read this verse wondering why it was so important to be quiet. I’m a loud person, outgoing and charismatic. The older I get, the more I calm down, but for the most part I love noise. I love a little chaos and a lot of activity (within reason, of course). A couple months ago our pastor spoke on this verse and gave me a different view. He described ‘quiet’ as being the opposite of ‘busy’.

Our lives are so filled with busyness! We trim all the excess from our schedules, squeezing in as much as possible into tiny spaces, all in pursuit of optimum productivity. We gotta get more and more done. I fear, in our trimming and squeezing and rushing and running to achieve lean and productive lives, we cut out all the delectable bits of fat. We cut out all moments of quiet. It is in the quiet that we can appreciate all the treasures God has given us – like my baby’s pudge.

Time goes by so quickly. Kids grow up at unbelievable speeds. Relationships change and grow every day. Today is passing and can never be recaptured. Enjoy some quiet today! It only takes a few moments. Relish what God has given you. Delight in pudgy hands before they melt away.

Be Careful, Little Eyes …

There is a song we used to sing as children. “Be careful, little eyes, what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love. So, be careful, little eyes, what you see.” This song speaks of personal responsibility, but I have always taken it upon myself to protect the purity of my children. I strive to keep their little eyes innocent; their little feet out of trouble; their little hearts pure. Yesterday I failed.

It was a gorgeous day, the warmest we’ve had in weeks. The sun was shining, and the kids were in a good mood. It was a perfect day for the zoo … That is, until we got there and saw the witches flying.

I have never liked Halloween. Rick and I decided, even before we had kids, we would never celebrate it as a family. It is just too evil. I love the idea of playing dress up. I even like the trick-or-treating! I love having something wonderfully fun to do and celebrate as a community. But this holiday is simply wicked. It is filled, from roots to now, with evil, despicable things. I do not want our children raised thinking that fear is funny; that evil is cute and mischief should be rewarded.

I looked at the zoo entrance and, having hyped up our spontaneous little adventure, didn’t feel I could go back now. The kids were all excited about seeing the animals! So, I prayed there would not be too many questions I was not ready to answer and bravely, yet cautiously, carted them in to see the sights.

Ellie and Zach didn’t seem to notice what was crawling under my skin. They jumped with excitement over the sheep and cows. Zach clapped happily when we saw the monkeys. Isabel proudly marched to show she wasn’t afraid of the mountain lions’ roars. Meanwhile, I cringed at every “decoration”. We passed an old school bus filled with severed body parts and covered with fake blood. Skulls and witches, ghosts and tombstones were everywhere. The peaceful covered bridge was now filled with evil monsters and glow-in-the-dark eyeballs.

As we boarded the train, Ellie asked me, “Mama, where is our stroller?”

“It’s over there. See all the giant spiders?”

I was mortified. I, the mother who won’t allow her children to watch most Disney movies, was now pointing out the appalling sights at the “Zoo Boo”. I berated myself the rest of the day. I still am to this moment. How could I do that? How could I work so hard to keep them innocent and pure, protected and sheltered, to sacrifice it all for a look at a couple cows??

Rather than to continue beating myself up over this, I am choosing to learn from it. There are two things I want to share with you.

“For the Lord God is our sovereign protector.” – Psalm 84:11 (NET)

My biggest problem with this experience was that it cannot be undone. I am an extremely visual person. Things that I see stick in my brain and my memory for years and years. I can’t get them out! My fear was that I had permanently damaged my children. They had seen these things, consciously or not, and those images would then haunt their dreams and thoughts. I had failed to protect them.

This may all be true, but my conclusions did not consider God’s presence and sovereignty. Yes, it is my job to protect these children, but I am not perfect, so I cannot do a perfect job. Furthermore, these children belong to God first and foremost. While it is incomprehensible to me, the truth is He loves them even more than I do. And He IS perfect and perfectly capable of protecting them. Our God is sovereign! Whatever mistakes I make are already under His control.

Trusting God and His sovereignty is just the first step. Step two is taking seriously my responsibility. I failed to accurately weigh my choice. I decided that seeing the animals was more important than protecting my children from all the other things they would see. I chose to surrender to what my children, ages one and two, wanted instead of appropriately standing up for what I, their mother, knew was best for them.

“But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 (NAS)

“Oh, it’s just a few decorations. It’s not that big of a deal.” God tells us to flee from “every form of evil”. The second I hesitated should have given me reason to run. I need to stop rationalizing things that may be less than righteous. I must examine things more carefully; cling to what is good and flee from all that has even a hint of evil.

This application is not only appropriate in regards to our children. It is necessary for us as well. You and I need to be careful with our little eyes; our little feet; our little hands. Let me encourage you to focus on what is true; to walk with those who are righteous; to busy your hands with the work of the Lord. May He be lifted high in His perfect sovereignty.

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